POLL: Who Does More of LOs Care?

[peaece13]

SO would do much more if I asked him to. I enjoy it/do it better than him. However when I need a break I don't hesitate to ask him to help!

[cdseno]

I do most of the care when we are both home but mostly because at this point I am faster at everything. But if he will typically do more with J more since he requires less work.

[redhorizon343]

We split playing with her and watching her, feeding her, and putting her to bed evenly, though it takes a little prompting in my part sometimes. But I do all the bathing, nail clipping, etc., while DH is at work.

[Deleted]

50:50. DH watches him when I work so we don't have to do daycare.

[Courtniko]

DH does a lot, but since I am BFing and she has so many MOTN wake ups to eat there us just no way for the time to even out right now.

[3magicbeans]

We are equal in LOs (all of them, not just the A14-er). We both work FT, and having 3 young LOs, its an all hands on deck situation.

[robinbird]

I said 80% mostly because of BF/pumping, but that's a lot. Diapers are split probably 50%. We give DS a bath together, but I'm the one doing the cleaning. DH gets him naked for the bath, stands in the bathtub and talks to him, picks him up when it is time to clean his back, and then puts his diaper and jammies on him for bed. We only give baths about twice per week. I'm probably better about really playing with him. Now that we're trying solids, I'm the one who gets the food ready and feeds him, while DH takes video/pictures. He will try to feed him some though, but the kid is really not interested in solids.

[bobloblaw]

Feb 11, 2015 6:34:00 GMT -5 cdseno said:

I do most of the care when we are both home but mostly because at this point I am faster at everything. 

This. 

H is generally really helpful though so I enlist his help whenever I can and try not to complain when he does things slower or different than I would.

[bkroxfan003]

I pretty much do most of it, although H will give her baths and get her ready fpr bed. He usually gets up with her on the weekends too.

[wickednomnoms]

I am home with LO all day and SO sometimes doesn't get home from work until he is in bed so during the week it is mostly me. On the weekends he is great and it is 50/50.

[sjshark]

DH runs his own business out of the house so he watches her during the weeks days unti lI get home and then I take over so he can focus on work. Mostly he works during her naps or when he has help (my mom, his mom or our nanny that we have once a week) On the weekends I pretty much have her all day as DHs work is primarily on the weekends. He does video production, lots of weekend sports stuff, weddings and such.

[gingy]

I SAH, so I said 90%, but when He is home he does help out quite a bit. I would say on those days it's 50/50.

[rbl]

I do 90% of things for DD. H gives her one bottle a night and takes her to daycare. He interacts with her and stuff but I feel like I do most things for her.

On the flip side, H does a lot more of the care for DS.

Overall, I think we are fairly even in parenting. With 2u2, we have taken the divide and conquer approach.

[Chrisse]

Feb 11, 2015 6:34:00 GMT -5 cdseno said:

I do most of the care when we are both home but mostly because at this point I am faster at everything. But if he will typically do more with J more since he requires less work.

This.

Though I also don't want to deal with the sighs I get every time I have to ask him to do something.

[mrsnorris]

DW will do a lot but I still have to feed LO. She also does work around the house when she's home and often makes dinner, etc, so I take LO while she does that. So I still do the bulk of it but she isn't unwilling- it just plays out that way. If she were playing video games or something while I still had LO... The fall out wouldn't be pretty.

[inaya]

MH will play with her, hold her while she's crying, and otherwise keep her busy, but I do all of the feeding, baths, etc. Most days he only sees her for a few minutes in the morning and a little while before bed. He's usually working on homework or dinner while I put her down at night. He'll start helping more as she gets older if his schedule changes. Right now it's just easier for all of us for me to do the nighttime routine, and she's EBF at home so there's no issues with feeding. Most days he's not home with us during the day. He'd do whatever I asked him for help with, but I don't mind doing all that stuff.

[Aaemommy]

Me. DH only has LO a little bit each night, and it's a chore to even get him to do that. He does get up early with LO most weekend days though, so that's nice. Although I EBF and don't want to mess with pumping when I'm at home so it's not long before they're waking me up because LO is hungry.

Edited to add- DH does do a large majority of the cooking and cleaning up the kitchen and he helps with laundry. So that takes a lot off my plate and makes my life much easier.

[joshan1719]

Feb 11, 2015 12:23:27 GMT -5 Chrisse said:

Though I also don't want to deal with the sighs I get every time I have to ask him to do something.

This is me. It's more work to get him to do something so I usually do it. 

[mandapanda1382]

Pretty equal. Sometimes I do more because LO wants me more. But my husband does a ton to give me a break. He's very conscientious like that.

[daisylola11]

DH did a lot more but now that he's working so much I do it all (SAH) and he just plays with DS a few minutes before he goes to bed. It's been really hard, for the both of us.

[frodabaggins]

I chose 80% for now - usually hubs does more but he messed his back up weightlifting so he needs to take it easy for six weeks.

[Deleted]

My H has been gone since Saturday am and it has made me realize how much he really does do. I do most of the feeding, clothing, changing, buy DH spends lots of time with LO. They always play together for a long time after dinner while I do chores. And DH always helps with bathtime. He is also the one who is best at calming meltdowns.

[weeklyplanner]

Monday through Friday, DH changes his diaper around 6am and brings him to me to be nursed. Sometimes he has 10 min to feed solids before leaving for work. He doesn't see him again until the next day. So, during the week I do 98%! But, on the weekends, he's very hands on. He usually has to ask questions because he doesn't know our routine and sometimes I have to give directions, but he wants to do it all. He has a lot of guilt about working so much. Weekends are probably split 50/50. While I'm nursing on the weekends, DH will throw wash in, etc. He's really quite great that way!

[kimberlyb]

I do about 80% of DS's care. DH helps when asked and also takes turns getting up with him at night. With DD, it is more 50/50. I think as DS gets older the split will get more even.

[blckroses]

We both work FT, and baby stuff is pretty 50/50. For the MOTN feedings, DH will get up and get her from her room, change her if needed and bring her to me to nurse. Then he'll nap while I feed her, but then put her back to sleep when I'm done. I don't even get out of bed at night. In the mornings whoever is available will get her when she wakes up and put her in her clothes for the day and start the morning coffee. While I'm nursing her before I leave for the day DH will pack up her milk for the day and load my car with all my stuff. After work DH goes to crossfit 2 times a week or so, so I'll be on baby duty until he gets home. Sometimes she's already in bed when he gets home. But then I get to veg on the couch while he makes dinner and packs lunches for the next day. Days he doesn't got to crossfit we usually all play together or do a bath together. We take turns doing bedtime with her. We have a great tag team approach. If one of us has been trying to get her to go to sleep and she won't sleep and we're frustrated, we just put her in the crib and 'tag in' the other person. I feel very lucky that DH is so involved.

[frodabaggins]

Feb 12, 2015 12:28:34 GMT -5 blckroses said:

We both work FT, and baby stuff is pretty 50/50. For the MOTN feedings, DH will get up and get her from her room, change her if needed and bring her to me to nurse. Then he'll nap while I feed her, but then put her back to sleep when I'm done. I don't even get out of bed at night. In the mornings whoever is available will get her when she wakes up and put her in her clothes for the day and start the morning coffee. While I'm nursing her before I leave for the day DH will pack up her milk for the day and load my car with all my stuff. After work DH goes to crossfit 2 times a week or so, so I'll be on baby duty until he gets home. Sometimes she's already in bed when he gets home. But then I get to veg on the couch while he makes dinner and packs lunches for the next day. Days he doesn't got to crossfit we usually all play together or do a bath together. We take turns doing bedtime with her. We have a great tag team approach. If one of us has been trying to get her to go to sleep and she won't sleep and we're frustrated, we just put her in the crib and 'tag in' the other person. I feel very lucky that DH is so involved.

I think you are super lucky I don't know what I would do if my husband started doing all this stuff!

[jlynn62511]

During the week, I'm home with LO at 3pm and DH doesn't get home until 7-7:30. So it all falls on me during the week. He gives her last bottle 8.

On the weekend, he helps out as much as I ask. We use the weekends to catch up on laundry and house work.

[sosayweall]

I didn't vote because I have no idea what % this would amount to.
DH typically washes all the bottles, makes bottles for DC, packs his bag for DC. Many times he will wash and sanitize my pump parts. He picks up LO from daycare at 430 and I get home around 6.
I handle all MOTN wakeups, BF, pump, get LO ready for
DC, and drop him off at DC.
On the weekends one of us cares for/plays with LO and one of us does housework/cooking/relaxes. I am probably with LO the majority of the time, but DH does a lot of cooking and cleaning.
I am quite happy with how we do things.