Donut pillows are great for you to sit on if you end up having a lot of vag stitches and pain. I couldn't sit right for at least 4 weeks due to bad tearing, so it was a blessing having something to take the pressure off.
If you need to cough after giving birth, you will have to brace your vag. Or your c-section scar, if you've had one. I learned this the hard way.
Also don't feel bad if you don't want to have sex 6 weeks post partum and the doc gives you the all-clear. Wait until you are ready. And use all the lube
I agree, amc25! We actually didn't start until 7-8 months since he wasn't showing interest but we skipped the purees. Though we would buy those pouches on occasion when we were traveling. Also, try not to have any expectations about your child sleeping through the night. Like someone else said, it will happen eventually. And they might sleep through the night at 2 months then all of a sudden at 6 months they won't (due to a developing milestone or whatever, they're a baby so it could be anything). And try not to listen to others who brag about their child sleeping through the night. Every baby is different!
We're a loooong way from this with our M17 babies, but when it comes to starting them on solid foods, I highly recommend giving the "baby led weaning" method a try. In a nutshell, rather than messing around with spoon feeding cereals and purées, you simply start your baby on finger foods around the 6 month mark when they're sitting up well and showing other signs of developmental readiness.
My sister in law does baby led weaning and loved it On the other hand, we did purees and we all loved it too. I want to echo what other people have said. I think this is a great example of do what you want and what works for you after learning your options. People will try to say one way is better than the other (not that @amc25 did that!) but in the end, baby is fed and loved. You may love baby-led weaning or making fun purees, you do you
Apparently I have a lot of feels about treating your vag right after birth LOL
Your vag feels resonate with me on a serious level. Ill add that you should apply pressure to your poom while pooping. I felt like I was going to split open and "bracing" myself helped my anxiety, if nothing else.
This is my biggest dread this pregnancy. Not excited for my undercarriage to be jacked up again. C was 9lbs and had shoulder dystocia so I was just wrecked. It was like the nurses had to beat the shit out of me to get him out. Awful.
OMG....y'all are getting me worried. DS was born with his hand on his face and I didn't tear so my recovery was super easy. What if I'm cursed this time?!
OMG....y'all are getting me worried. DS was born with his hand on his face and I didn't tear so my recovery was super easy. What if I'm cursed this time?!
Someone hold me.
+1 for super easy recovery last time around. I had only a couple of stitches for some tiny superficial tears, but that was it. My vag felt totally normal (minus the bleeding) within a week of giving birth, and TMI/FFTC:
I didn't wait until after my 6 week checkup before having sex. We went for it at about the 4 week mark and it felt freaking amazing. I'm talking multiple Os in less than 5 minutes! So... FTMs, don't be scared! Having a baby doesn't necessarily have to ruin your lady bits. If anything, mine are better after pushing out a baby!
FX for another easy birth and postpartum recovery! I'll be over here doing lots of deep squats and Kegels, as well as trying to eat a mostly healthy diet to keep my skin and muscles in good shape for stretching rather than tearing!
I could've written your post. The 4 weeks pp and all. I had a large baby but...IDK. maybe I was lucky? I pushed a long time though, like 3.5 hours. So maybe that had something to do with it.
I could've written your post. The 4 weeks pp and all. I had a large baby but...IDK. maybe I was lucky? I pushed a long time though, like 3.5 hours. So maybe that had something to do with it.
My son was on the small side (5lb14oz, 12" head), but I only pushed for 45 minutes. I'm guessing if I'd taken a little more time to let things stretch, maybe I could have avoided tearing altogether. Oh well. After 44 hours of induction to get me to 10cm, I was so freaking ready to push him out and be done with it!
My son had a 12 in. head too. That plus the arm/hand on his face situation. He was 9.2 lbs so he was sort of big for a first baby, so I'm told.
One thing that I wish I did differently with DD was give DH more freedom. I tried to let him do things his own way, but many times I found myself correcting him without even thinking about it. He wasn't doing anything wrong, just differently than I would have. And I was a freaking nazi about breast feeding, and when he could give her bottles when I was away. I should have just gone with it more, and known that I would have to pump. He was letting me get out of the house without a baby attached to my boob, I shouldn't get upset that he thawed one extra bottle "in case" I wasn't home in time. Just feed her that and pump again.
Anyways, just something that I hope to do better on this time around, and wanted to let FTM's know as well.
That's a great point mls5871. Dads need to have time and opportunity to figure out what works for them ie the best way for them to comfort and feed a baby etc
OMG....y'all are getting me worried. DS was born with his hand on his face and I didn't tear so my recovery was super easy. What if I'm cursed this time?!
Someone hold me.
Honestly, if you can get through that without tearing, you are probably safe! Don't they say that the second one comes out faster and smoother? I hope? Lol.
I want to say we did a poll on my BMB on when everyone had PP sex for the first time. I think the average was 12 weeks? Or maybe I'm remembering that statistic from somewhere else. Either way, if you don't want to have sex for a long while, it's normal and you're not alone.
Yeah, that sounds about right. I'm glad some people had a better experience but it took a long time for it to feel normal for me again. I think we had similar discussions on our BMB and I definitely wasn't alone. So don't put any pressure on yourselves FTMs!
It really goes to show you how different everyone's bodies are at delivering and recovering.
I just wanted to add that even though my vagina exploded, everything was fantastic within a few months, and there are no lingering effects. So, FTMs, do not worry: even if you do have a difficult delivery, you will be okay. You may even want to do it again, eventually. Lol.
OMG....y'all are getting me worried. DS was born with his hand on his face and I didn't tear so my recovery was super easy. What if I'm cursed this time?!
Someone hold me.
Honestly, if you can get through that without tearing, you are probably safe! Don't they say that the second one comes out faster and smoother? I hope? Lol.
Good god I hope so. I was in labor forever, and he didn't flip from sunny side up till the last second, I threw up twice...fun times.
Post by amandamh2 on Sept 13, 2016 21:27:10 GMT -5
Best advice I got post-partum: sitz bath with epsom salts. I was having trouble sleeping because my stitches were making me so itchy then my friend brought me this kit of stuff that helped her and it was so amazing.
You are not bothering your doctor if you take your child or yourself in for what seem like stupid things (like a first baby cold... I may have done this). You are not bothering your doctor if you ask questions about your or your child's care. It is their job to treat you but it is also their job to make sure you understand what is happening.
I love all the positive anecdotes of things being okay after birth! While I am a STM, this is my first birth and I've been nervous. To keep things real, my wife sometimes still pees when she sneezes, and had some pain with sex for over a year BUT with some TLC the vagina issue worked out and the peeing doesn't bother her too much, it's only a little. It's nice to know that it's not like that for most people (I am starting to freak a little about birth) but also good to know that things are manageable even if you aren't so lucky in the recovery department.
OMG....y'all are getting me worried. DS was born with his hand on his face and I didn't tear so my recovery was super easy. What if I'm cursed this time?!
Someone hold me.
I hear tearing has a genetic component to it. A pp on my old bmb had 3 LOs with no tearing, and (IIRC) according to her she knows no one in her family who tore either. Hopefully you're just as lucky!
Not everyone bleeds for 6+ weeks after giving birth. I only bled for 2.
Yes, this. I didnt bleed for long, and the worst of it was over within a couple days. My recovery was brutal though so maybe my body was cutting me some slack.
I love all the positive anecdotes of things being okay after birth! While I am a STM, this is my first birth and I've been nervous. To keep things real, my wife sometimes still pees when she sneezes, and had some pain with sex for over a year BUT with some TLC the vagina issue worked out and the peeing doesn't bother her too much, it's only a little. It's nice to know that it's not like that for most people (I am starting to freak a little about birth) but also good to know that things are manageable even if you aren't so lucky in the recovery department.
I will say this because I havent been oh so positive. I had a rough delivery and a really rough recovery. I had lingering issues with my tailbone and my vagina that I thought would never go away. I was stressing that I ruined myself and would never feel normal again. But one day I did. DS is only 15m fwiw and I have felt normal for more than half that time now. So please, no matter how tough it may get, just know that it probably isnt forever and you will (for the most part) forget you ever felt so awful.
I mean, our population wouldn't be exploding if having babies/recovery wasn't manageable. We are women, hear us roar and all that stuff.
Like, no doubt, none of this is easy. It's probably the hardest thing you've ever done. But, you may be surprised, and very lucky to find that it isn't so bad. Or, what you once thought was SO bad is totally worth repeating for the awesome amazing pay off of a sweet little baby.
Also, it's so awesome that you have your wife to support you from a BTDT perspective. And how great is it that you can take turns with this haha. I wish my H could get KTFU.
Post by erinshelley21 on Sept 14, 2016 6:25:20 GMT -5
If you're planning on breastfeeding, have a pump on hand. Even if it's just a manual one. When my milk finally came in my boobs were too big for ds to even latch. Dh had to run to the closest store to get a manual pump at 8pm on a Saturday.
If you're planning on breastfeeding, have a pump on hand. Even if it's just a manual one. When my milk finally came in my boobs were too big for ds to even latch. Dh had to run to the closest store to get a manual pump at 8pm on a Saturday.
don't most insurances cover a pump? This is on my list of questions to ask my doctor - Im not sure if the process or where to buy it to get it covered.
They do, but in my case DS arrived 4 weeks early. I had already started the pump process with insurance, but I want to say they made me wait until I had actually delivered until they would send it.
If you're planning on breastfeeding, have a pump on hand. Even if it's just a manual one. When my milk finally came in my boobs were too big for ds to even latch. Dh had to run to the closest store to get a manual pump at 8pm on a Saturday.
+1 for having a pump on hand, but in my case, it was needed to help increase my supply since DS was too small and sleepy to feed effectively at the breast and wasn't gaining weight. For several weeks, we were on a nurse, pump, and supplement with pumped milk (sometimes topped up with formula) feeding schedule, 10-12x a day. Eventually, he and my boobs got the hang of things and we were able to switch to just nursing. Here we are, nearly 15 months later, still going strong!
I guess that's another thing: even though breastfeeding is "natural," it doesn't always come naturally to one of both members of a new nursing duo. Don't be afraid to reach out to a lactation consultant or to ask for advice here on TCF. If you really want to make breastfeeding work despite any hurdles you may face, we'll try our hardest to help you make it happen.
I'm (clearly) very pro-breastfeeding, but when it comes down to it, feed those babies! Whether breastfeeding just isn't for you, you're physically unable to breastfeed, or if you have to supplement because you're not making quite enough milk, formula is an amazing thing that can give your babies the nourishment they need to thrive and grow.
That was basically my experience. The LC's at my hospital were life savers! It took 4 months for DS to nurse because he spent his first 3 weeks being fed by a syringe (so he wouldn't get used to the bottle) and then the next 3 months being fed with a bottle because I had to go back to work so early.
They do, but in my case DS arrived 4 weeks early. I had already started the pump process with insurance, but I want to say they made me wait until I had actually delivered until they would send it.
that sounds stressful. This makes me want to try to get it taken care of as early as possible!
I would just contact your insurance provider instead of talking to your doc.
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