Whine thread
Sept 14, 2016 14:10:22 GMT -5
Post by SheilaTheTank on Sept 14, 2016 14:10:22 GMT -5
For reals now: my supervisor just set up a Skype meeting with me for Friday and she said she wanted to include a discussion on leaving Bud here (she's against this at the outset) and my mental health. I'm so glad she cares, but I don't want to have to justify our decisions. It really is going to be the best thing for him/us, but even though that's true and there's no 100% perfect solution, I feel so guilty and horrible about leaving him that I don't want to have to argue the logic over my feelings. Part of me feels like if I was a real mom I would keep him with me no matter what or how hard it was and that I'm lesser for not doing it. But the real mom part of me knows that he'll be so much better off here with his dad, local pedi, and his family support system. He is so loved that if anything terrible were to happen, I know my extended family and even some friends would pretty much move heaven and earth for him.
I didn't expect she wanted to talk about personal things, so I'm kind of taken aback at the moment. And although I think it will be good overall, my stomach is in knots and I'm scared I'm going to start crying in front of her. Or go from keeping our relationship professional to baring my entire soul and then feeling humiliated. Or that she'll think I'm lazy and dumb. Ugh. I'm feeling so f'ed up about this.
I had a roommate from China who had recently moved here to go to grad school. She has twin girls and they were staying with her husband and her family back in China so she could study and get a job in America. Her goal was to move her family here and give them a better life here. She finished school, got a job, and moved her husband out here for a bit to spend some time with her. Due to our incredibly fucked up immigration system he can't get a job here yet, so he goes back and forth. Her children are still there and are living with her parents. She hasn't seen them in over four years other than Skyping every day. Even though this is the most difficult thing she has EVER done and ever will do, it is a sacrificing she is making for the betterment of her family.
She is a REAL mom. You are a REAL mom. Whether your child is right next to you 24/7 or if they live and grow up 5,000 miles away you still love them, and care for them, and ARE THEIR MOM!