Stuff your SO says

[robotpcr]

I know we've had these before but I have a good one so thought it might be fun again.  (Note that I'm not trying to shame any menfolk, just random funnies.)

This morning I was telling DH that I am 27 weeks now and that means she's a rutabaga.  DH just looked at me for a moment and then said, "Isn't that a type of car?" ... No honey, that's a Studebaker.

[rocksforludo]

DH is notorious for his bad calendar skills. They're really terrible. He said something to me in December about how it was weird Christmas was on a Friday this year. I just looked at him. He followed it up with, "Isn't it usually on a Thursday?" That's Thanksgiving dear.

[veganontuesdays]

I was dying the other day. I had some pregnancy related symptom that I knew what completely normal and mentioned to my H in passing. Well later in the day he comes up to me and goes "I googled that thing that happened to you and it's totally normal but the women on The Bump are mean!" OMG. hahaha I laughed until I cried and said "It's ok butt hurt noob The Bump is filled with rainbows and glitter now just for you."

[nurserachel22]

"I can't wait until this is over" meaning pregnancy. He hates seeing me go through the sucky symptoms. My response in my head is usually--well how the fuck do you think I feel?

Also, as soon as he wakes up he starts complaining about his back neck and whatever else is hurting him. Like dude... I have back pain that I couldn't even imagine before pregnancy. I try to show sympathy, but just shut up. I would be more sympathetic if he was trying to solve his pain issues, but he doesn't and keeps complaining. Poor guy.

[hconner3]

My husband keeps saying, "Man I hope your labor doesnt last forever, I have been googling and alot of first time moms are in labor for 20+ hours." Thanks babe, I am aware labor is going to suck.. lets not think about it everyday! Lets focus on the after labor part..

[animaldoctor]

Mine is a sweet comment. We went out to lunch the other day with our friends that have a 6 month old. We came home and he said that every time we spend time with somebody else's baby, that it makes him so excited to meet our daughter. I melted.

[lgsdesigner]

DH is very OCD about certain things. Especially when it comes to safety. Every night he checks to see if DD’s blanket is too close to the outlet by her bed (doesn’t want a fire), and will make sure DS’s windows are locked in his bedroom (every night he checks). When we were at Target the other day looking at cribs, he gets under a crib and starts thoroughly examining each one and goes “Are these things really safe?! I mean- how did any of us survive sleeping in these? They look dangerous!” He then went to the child safety aisle, and was there for a good ½ hour. Haha!

[meandmylove]

I like DHs beard for the most part anyway. But yesterday he called it a face rat. Then said how he could almost put some rubber bands in it.

I'm trying to think of how I can cut it while he's sleeping an not get hurt

[mylittleladiesandlad]

My husband asked if my Victoria Secrets Cheekies were "fat people thongs". Where do I even begin with this??? "No, honey they are supposed to cover just 1/4 my ass cheek like a Victoria's Secret model, but since I am PREGNANT with your fucking son my ass is swallowing my underwear!!" Fat people thongs...

[tomatopie]

We were going to the bank and DH wanted to go in, I wanted to do the drive through. After prodding about why he wanted to go in the bank so bad he confessed that he'd never gone though the drive up window and wasn't sure how to do it or how it all worked. It was funny. We went though it and it ended up taking forever for some reason and he was like "see! we should have just gone in." I feel that that experience ruined any future drive up banking.

[jenari]

I was getting dressed one morning and just said kind of randomly that I hope my poor boobs hold up after nursing two babies back to back. DH looks over and says, don't worry, if they get all sad and droopy I'll work really hard and buy you a new pair. Um, thanks DH. We're talking about a body part here not a pair of boots. He went on to clarify that it was purely if I wanted to because he's an ass man after all. I just shake my head some days.

[kj808]

Feb 11, 2015 18:27:34 GMT -5 jenari said:

I was getting dressed one morning and just said kind of randomly that I hope my poor boobs hold up after nursing two babies back to back. DH looks over and says, don't worry, if they get all sad and droopy I'll work really hard and buy you a new pair. Um, thanks DH. We're talking about a body part here not a pair of boots. He went on to clarify that it was purely if I wanted to because he's an ass man after all. I just shake my head some days.

This reminded me of what my DH said... I was putting on my bra and this is how our conversation went:

DH: "man, those things are huge!"

Me: "yeah, enjoy them now cuz later they'll go back to being all small and deflated"

DH: "then it's a good thing i'm not a boob guy". 

Huh... coulda fooled me. 

[CaptainLeela]

Feb 11, 2015 12:41:41 GMT -5 @texasmama15 said:

DH keeps saying "I wish things would speed up, I'm ready for you to not be pregnant anymore because I need my drinking buddy back"...haha, don't we all...

Mine says that to me too. And I agree with him.