Seduction Tips for FW

[Deleted]

So its around that time of the month for me! No, not AF.... It's my FW and that means the more sex the better. 

My hubby and I have a great sex life, but we have never been the kind of couple who has sex everyday. Because of this when I start wanting to have sex on a daily basis its pretty obvious to him that I am in my FW. This can make sex a little less romantic and more stressful for him because he feels like he needs to do his "duty as husband" and that I only want him because I am more likely to get pregnant. 

I have two questions:

Do you ladies have any tips for seducing my husband so that he thinks having sex is his idea? 

How do you help your SOs from stressing about performing when TTC?

[ironbaby]

Drop the idea that you need to have sex daily. It only takes once between -4 and +1. If you're not someone who wants it daily, don't feel pressured to have daily sex. (I get it; we had sex 9 days in a row once just to say we'd given it a shot. Obviously it didn't work.)

We went through the performance anxiety stuff too, but it was temporary. We just kept a lot of open communication, and I tried hard not to overreact when it didn't work.

[♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪]

So, I'm all the way into IVF territory, so we've already been down the "having to time it" shit, but before we got to that, MH had similar feelings.

I have a fairly low sex drive, and honestly I just made sure that we pinged the pang outside of FW, too, so that he wouldn't feel that it was only about TTC.

Also, you don't HAVE to have sex every day in your FW to get pregnant. So don't make him feel like you have to.

[frankenboom]

Alcohol.

While we were TTC sex was rarely his idea. But when I wanted it to be more than "get a boner so we can do it" alcohol usually did the trick. I am what some may call awkward so initiating sex when not drunk follows in that vein.

[frankenboom]

Sept 14, 2016 14:15:21 GMT -5 ironbaby said:

Drop the idea that you need to have sex daily. It only takes once between -4 and +1. If you're not someone who wants it daily, don't feel pressured to have daily sex. (I get it; we had sex 9 days in a row once just to say we'd given it a shot. Obviously it didn't work.)

We went through the performance anxiety stuff too, but it was temporary. We just kept a lot of open communication, and I tried hard not to overreact when it didn't work.

Oh this too.

If it just isn't happening that night try not to force it. (he he he)

[queenofcats]

Booze and porn

[♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪]

I thought of something else...

Does YH know how this all works? It helped when I started to explain everything to MH. He was more understanding of the desire to time it right. Goes right along with what ironbaby said about open communication.

[icedtea]

We were lucky if we got 2 days in a FW, so I feel your pain. There's definitely a lot of pressure and it's hard not to freak out if you try and it doesn't work.

I think it helps to be really honest with each other, and let him know it's okay if it doesn't happen (and really be okay with it). Taking the pressure off, getting in some humor, taking a weekend away and just enjoying each other all helps.

And big +1 to queenofcats and frankenboom: booze.

[icedtea]

Sept 14, 2016 14:23:29 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

I thought of something else...

Does YH know how this all works? It helped when I started to explain everything to MH. He was more understanding of the desire to time it right. Goes right along with what ironbaby said about open communication.

Yes, this helped too. "It's fertile week, let's go!" Okay, H. 

[bunnyfungo]

Sept 14, 2016 14:17:06 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

So, I'm all the way into IVF territory, so we've already been down the "having to time it" shit, but before we got to that, MH had similar feelings.

I have a fairly low sex drive, and honestly I just made sure that we pinged the pang outside of FW, too, so that he wouldn't feel that it was only about TTC.

Also, you don't HAVE to have sex every day in your FW to get pregnant. So don't make him feel like you have to.

Yes to sex outside of FW. I don't think MH ever knew when I was ovulating. I tried to be consistent with having sex throughout the whole month. Honestly, it was much better for our relationship too.

[PepperPottsJ]

Booze, porn and a blowjob to get things moving

[PepperPottsJ]

Sept 14, 2016 14:25:06 GMT -5 bunnyfungo said:

Sept 14, 2016 14:17:06 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

So, I'm all the way into IVF territory, so we've already been down the "having to time it" shit, but before we got to that, MH had similar feelings.

I have a fairly low sex drive, and honestly I just made sure that we pinged the pang outside of FW, too, so that he wouldn't feel that it was only about TTC.

Also, you don't HAVE to have sex every day in your FW to get pregnant. So don't make him feel like you have to.

Yes to sex outside of FW. I don't think MH ever knew when I was ovulating. I tried to be consistent with having sex throughout the whole month. Honestly, it was much better for our relationship too.

+1. Except this past month... MH has taken this as a personal challenge and asked when I would O

[♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪]

Sept 14, 2016 14:25:14 GMT -5 PepperPottsJ said:

Booze, porn and a blowjob to get things moving

OMG, for some reason, my mind wanted to read this as "booze, porn and popcorn"

Probably because of the rhyming. Probably because of Andrea. Probably because popcorn is hawt.

[queenofcats]

Sept 14, 2016 14:17:06 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

So, I'm all the way into IVF territory, so we've already been down the "having to time it" shit, but before we got to that, MH had similar feelings.

I have a fairly low sex drive, and honestly I just made sure that we pinged the pang outside of FW, too, so that he wouldn't feel that it was only about TTC.

Also, you don't HAVE to have sex every day in your FW to get pregnant. So don't make him feel like you have to.

And yes, even when we were doing fertility treatments we'd have sex like twice a week to keep in the habit. Although there's nothing more romantic than your doctor telling you to have sex throughout the weekend. No pressure.

[Deleted]

ironbaby , 9 days in a row! I am impressed!

Good reminder to not worry about having sex everyday.

frankenboom and queenofcats , unfortunately the booze sometimes makes him too tired. Or is the booze for you?

[queenofcats]

Sept 14, 2016 14:27:31 GMT -5 @frantheman said:

ironbaby , 9 days in a row! I am impressed!

Good reminder to not worry about having sex everyday.

frankenboom and queenofcats , unfortunately the booze sometimes makes him too tired. Or is the booze for you?

For me! Booze helps my libido.

[frankenboom]

Sept 14, 2016 14:28:09 GMT -5 queenofcats said:

Sept 14, 2016 14:27:31 GMT -5 @frantheman said:

ironbaby , 9 days in a row! I am impressed!

Good reminder to not worry about having sex everyday.

frankenboom and queenofcats , unfortunately the booze sometimes makes him too tired. Or is the booze for you?

For me! Booze helps my libido.

This - I have almost zero sex drive. Booze makes me wanna bang. Plus it lessens my inhibitions so I'm more likely to initiate in a non awkward way.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2016 14:23:29 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

I thought of something else...

Does YH know how this all works? It helped when I started to explain everything to MH. He was more understanding of the desire to time it right. Goes right along with what ironbaby said about open communication.

Yeah he knows from TTC our first. That took around 6 months, which is not too long but long enough for him to catch on. We are also just starting to TFAS, so it is possible he forgot or is just oblivious. 

Sometimes I think I am being super obvious, but he doesn't realize what I am getting at. I should probably be more direct!

[ironbaby]

Sept 14, 2016 14:27:31 GMT -5 @frantheman said:

ironbaby , 9 days in a row! I am impressed!

Good reminder to not worry about having sex everyday.

frankenboom and queenofcats , unfortunately the booze sometimes makes him too tired. Or is the booze for you?

It was exhausting, and I don't recommend it, but honestly, it was kinda neat. We figured out that even when we're tired, even when we don't really want to, we can make it enjoyable and get it done. It actually helped for subsequent months.

Never again, though.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2016 14:23:39 GMT -5 icedtea said:

We were lucky if we got 2 days in a FW, so I feel your pain. There's definitely a lot of pressure and it's hard not to freak out if you try and it doesn't work.

I think it helps to be really honest with each other, and let him know it's okay if it doesn't happen (and really be okay with it). Taking the pressure off, getting in some humor, taking a weekend away and just enjoying each other all helps.

And big +1 to queenofcats and frankenboom : booze.

Thanks! He is finishing up his quarter at school (he is a teacher), so I know some of it is stress.

[akraus2015]

I'm with bunnyfungo. Before we started IUI, H never knew when my FW was. I feel like that helped keep the pressure off him a little bit.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2016 14:29:41 GMT -5 hippo said:

Sept 14, 2016 14:19:40 GMT -5 queenofcats said:

Booze and porn

We haven't done the porn thing in forever. Like not since college. Maybe that would help. 

[♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪]

I was gonna suggest some shower foreplay (NOT SEX, BECAUSE IMPOSSIBLE), but then I found this Loryn Brantz comic and started cackling.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2016 14:40:14 GMT -5 @amc25 said:

**grad/dirty lurker siggy warning**

In addition to the booze, porn, and BJ ideas, maybe try introducing some sex toys? That can help spice things up immensely!

OMG Sex toys! I totally forgot about these.

I hadn't realized how vanilla our sex had become lol. We used to use toys, lingerie, watch porn together and all that, but now we have great sex still but its just nice lovely sex. I think we could definitely spice it up a little!

[Andrea]

Sept 14, 2016 14:15:21 GMT -5 ironbaby said:

Drop the idea that you need to have sex daily. It only takes once between -4 and +1. If you're not someone who wants it daily, don't feel pressured to have daily sex. (I get it; we had sex 9 days in a row once just to say we'd given it a shot. Obviously it didn't work.)

We went through the performance anxiety stuff too, but it was temporary. We just kept a lot of open communication, and I tried hard not to overreact when it didn't work.

Moment of silence for your vag during that nine day stretch.

[honda13]

Another vote for porn. Also a fan of striptease and blow jobs. I also like to wear a certain perfume when I want mh to know it's go time. The scent puts him in the mood.

[Andrea]

Sept 14, 2016 14:26:47 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

Sept 14, 2016 14:25:14 GMT -5 PepperPottsJ said:

Booze, porn and a blowjob to get things moving

OMG, for some reason, my mind wanted to read this as "booze, porn and popcorn"

Probably because of the rhyming. Probably because of Andrea. Probably because popcorn is hawt.

How did you know the gringo and I get down and I get down and dirty using popcorn? It adds...texture.

[Andrea]

My husband needed to know all of the details. We had a "boom boom calendar" and would try out new positions (don't try the scorpion unless you are VERY advanced) during FW. The ridiculous new sex positions kept us laughing and took some of the pressure off.

[♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪]

Sept 14, 2016 14:46:48 GMT -5 Andrea said:

Sept 14, 2016 14:26:47 GMT -5 ♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪ said:

OMG, for some reason, my mind wanted to read this as "booze, porn and popcorn"

Probably because of the rhyming. Probably because of Andrea . Probably because popcorn is hawt.

How did you know the gringo and I get down and I get down and dirty using popcorn? It adds...texture.

*crunch crunch crunch crunch*

OMG, I just made myself shudder.

[honda13]

If you're like me sexy underwear went by the wayside long ago. Bust that shit out and your husband will get the message. Or just grab his junk and tell him it's go time. Whichever.