pillow talk

[mightybee]

A FB mothers group I'm part of had a really good thread about questions or routines moms have in place to encourage thinking of others and/or empathy. One of my favorites was asking "what was one kind thing you did today?" at bedtime. Another was talking about something that made you mad, glad, and sad that day at the dinner table.

Do you have any to share? I try to talk about feelings as it naturally fits into our day, but I also like the idea of making this conversation a daily thing.

I know out kids might be on the younger side in terms of giving their own response to these kindividuals of questions, but I still find them valuable.

[cookiesandwine]

That's a neat idea. I always ask what she did at daycare and I make sure to ask who she played with and if she played nicely with her friends. Considering that she told H a couple nights ago that she was going to cut him with a knife, I should start working on the empathy thing.

[summergirl1211]

Feb 11, 2015 15:35:37 GMT -5 cookiesandwine said:

That's a neat idea. I always ask what she did at daycare and I make sure to ask who she played with and if she played nicely with her friends. Considering that she told H a couple nights ago that she was going to cut him with a knife, I should start working on the empathy thing.

Yeah, I do the same. Usually Riley ends up saying that one of her friends cried because they were hit with a toy or whatever and I ask if she helped them feel better, etc. 

And to the bolded... Um, Sadie, WTF girl? 

[mightybee]

Feb 11, 2015 15:35:37 GMT -5 cookiesandwine said:

That's a neat idea. I always ask what she did at daycare and I make sure to ask who she played with and if she played nicely with her friends. Considering that she told H a couple nights ago that she was going to cut him with a knife, I should start working on the empathy thing.

I saw that on FB! How graphic!! Makes me feel better that D only says he's going to hit me. Haha.

[cookiesandwine]

Feb 11, 2015 15:38:37 GMT -5 summergirl1211 said:

Feb 11, 2015 15:35:37 GMT -5 cookiesandwine said:

That's a neat idea. I always ask what she did at daycare and I make sure to ask who she played with and if she played nicely with her friends. Considering that she told H a couple nights ago that she was going to cut him with a knife, I should start working on the empathy thing.

Yeah, I do the same. Usually Riley ends up saying that one of her friends cried because they were hit with a toy or whatever and I ask if she helped them feel better, etc. 

And to the bolded... Um, Sadie, WTF girl? 

Yup. Gave H a mean mug, said "I cut you with a knife," as she drug her finger across her cheek, and then turned to get her play knife from her kitchen.  H burst out laughing, I held it together long enough to send her to time out.  

[bantyrooster]

That fb status made my day. G is pretty good at empathy. My pp hormones made me cry randomly a couple times a day for a week. He always hugged me and asked if I was okay. He has really been into talking about being "happy" "scared" or "sad".

[xanthepants]

We run into a little boy we used to have therapy time with way back when every once in a while. He's a bit older but severely disabled. The other day we ran into them at the library and I encouraged her to play alongside him. This time when we went home she had a billion questions about how he acted. It was a long conversation needless to say. We talked about how nice it is that he always says hi and that he remembers everyone's name. I played up the awesome things he does but tried to explain how he couldn't do everything the same but that it still ok and normal. It's hard to know what to say I guess. But I try to be empathetic and talk about things as they come along.
We have a neighbor with MS and is wheelchair bound. It freaks Cosette out, but I try and get down on her level and explain how cool the wheelchair is or certainly engage the neighbor and her caretaker as I would anyone else in the neighborhood. I've been keyed into how I need to be a better example and I should model the behavior I hope she will someday.
I do similar conversations about how to play nice and share with her daycare friends. How do they feel when you take the toy, etc.

[MissMusic]

We always sort of "run down" what we did during the day. Peanut will often give factual input randomly like, "I cried in the car" or I dress up all by myself". I then respond like "why did you cr in the car, do you remember?" and the convo goes that way. I'm careful to remind her that its ok, we all cry, the important thing was that she felt better/told me how she felt, etc.

We always read the same book (omg I hate that g-damned book!!) and sing the same lullaby.

[trixi282]

We usually do the talk about her day at dinner. But it often gets reiterated at bedtime when daddy gets home (he gets home after dinner now T,W,The).

She does tell us some things, but I've noticed lately she's starting to fib too... So I try to remind her to tell the truth and tell us what really happened.

She's fairly empathetic, and doesn't like when people cry. If we're in public and a baby cried she always gets concerned and says "Oh no, baby cry..... Why?". And sometimes she wants to go find who is crying. I always have to reassure her it's OK.

[ultramonkey]

Feb 11, 2015 22:28:15 GMT -5 trixi282 said:

We usually do the talk about her day at dinner. But it often gets reiterated at bedtime when daddy gets home (he gets home after dinner now T,W,The).

She does tell us some things, but I've noticed lately she's starting to fib too... So I try to remind her to tell the truth and tell us what really happened.

She's fairly empathetic, and doesn't like when people cry. If we're in public and a baby cried she always gets concerned and says "Oh no, baby cry..... Why?". And sometimes she wants to go find who is crying. I always have to reassure her it's OK.

M is the same way. He is very attuned to how others are feeling. He gets teary eyed when K is crying and asks me to make him better. At the doctors office the other day he saw a baby K's size, got excited and ran over saying, "oh, it's a baby!! Hi baby" then awkwardly hugged him and kissed him on the forehead. Thankfully the other mom thought it was sweet.

[mommymadness]

We have a similar routine of just talking over dinner or before bed too. Benjamin is so kind hearted at the moment. Whenever Abby cries he always goes to her and tries to make her happy by softly talking to her ("no cry baby", is what he usually says), holding her hand, or bringing her a toy! Boy melts my heart! If all else fails he calls me and says, "baby needs mommy!"