estate planning / wills / etc.

[anewadventure]

the Tuesday GTKY brought this up in my mind because cookielover said she is an estate / trust attorney.

Any and all advice from the group would be appreciated. My husband and I have been irresponsibly avoiding the topic of wills, estate planning, medical directives, etc. because we just plain don't know where to start besides cold contacting a lawyer.

I think the main issue is I need some resources to educate myself and DH on the topic before I pay someone (by the hour? fixed price?) to help me with it. I don't feel like I have a grasp on what exactly I need to know, need to do, the terminology, my options...I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Now that LO is here, I'm feeling extra guilty about it.

So. What's your advice? What have you guys done? Where should I start? What do I need to think about?

Thanks!!

[ontherock2012]

I'm very interested in this too. I'm hoping to get this done in the next couple of months.

[orangebird2020]

I am planning on using the Nolo book Get it Together. Helps create a binder of the important paperwork.

[jess9802]

I'm an estate planning attorney as well.

Basic things to think about: (1) Who would you want to serve as guardian for your children should you and your husband die before your children reach adulthood? (2) Who would you want to manage your children's inheritance? (3) Would you want your children to receive their inheritance at 18 (not the greatest idea, IMO), or would you prefer someone else manage their money through college? (4) Who would you want to administer your estate(s)?

When I meet with clients I hope they have these four basic questions answered, because we can't accomplish a whole lot until they can. Part of my job as an estate planning attorney is to evaluate each client's situation and advise them on trusts vs. wills, which will depend on their age, family structure, size of estate, whether tax planning is necessary, and so forth. It is also to educate clients. Don't feel too bad about not fully understanding the process - that's what a good attorney will help you with.

Some attorneys charge a flat fee for these types of services. I do not, and most estate planning attorneys I know I do not. We all bill hourly. Even so, we often have a good idea of how much time it usually takes to complete the process and can give estimates. To find an attorney - talk to friends and family and see who they've used and liked. If they haven't used an estate planning attorney - find out who their attorney would recommend for estate planning purposes. Don't be surprised if you cannot get a free consultation - I don't usually offer them.

[k3am]

We found several attorneys willing to give a free one hour consultation. All of the attorneys we spoke to offered a flat rate, as did the attorney we ended up going with.

[sudokufan]

We haven't done this yet, so my only advice is to check your and your H's work benefits - where I work, we can get part of our cost for wills reimbursed because we purchased the life insurance benefit they offer.

[kendraj426]

DH and I are working with a financial planner in order to plan for taking care of our kids and our future retirement. He recommended the lawyer we are using to write up our wills. The questions listed by jess9802 are exactly what the lawyer asked us and he said until we have those questions answered, there's not much for him to do. So, make sure you discuss those ahead of time and decide what you want to do. It's common in our area to have a flat fee for basic services (will, Medical POA, Medical Directive etc) so he doesn't charge by the hour.

I also recommend that you look into working with a financial planner. The one we work with doesn't charge us anything, but gets paid by the companies for the products he recommends. We both just signed up for whole life insurance which will help us be able to live comfortably when we retire (projected at 60 for both of us), and we are working on paying down our debts so that we can have more disposable income when the kids get older and involved in activities and go to college. Working with him has made me feel so much better about our and our children's future. I don't worry so much about how we will be able to afford things as they get older, or if something happens to one or both of us.

[gamora24527]

I'm an attorney, but know nothing about wills and estates except the basics from law school. The attorney who did our wills, etc., had a questionnaire for us to fill out before our meeting so that we would have an idea about what kinds of decisions we needed to make. I have no idea whether that is the standard practice everywhere, but we found it very helpful.

[shakinros]

I attended a free workshop given by an attorney at a baby store. It was a "who needs a will" type presentation. (Spoiler: nearly everyone) I liked her a lot so we did our wills, POA, and medical directives with her. She charged a flat fee and sent a hefty questionnaire before our meeting.

[lynn0514]

Flat fees are the norm here for this kind of work too. I practiced in this field briefly, and we used flat fees. Maybe this differs regionally? I also second (or third) the suggestion to do your estate planning in conjunction with a financial planner. The two really go hand in hand.

[Deleted]

We work with both a financial planner and an attorney. We just finished updating everything since the birth of LO. We have chosen to set everything up in a trust....house, investments, annuities, and life insurance, that will go to our child and also would be paid out to my parents who will become his guardians.

[somebabiesmom]

If you don't have any unusual assets or a blessed amount of wealth and want to do mostly normal things with your stuff and your kids, you can go to a general practitioner. That will be cheaper. Price varies based on the area. Rural areas can be as low as $250. In a city, you would probably pay b/t $600 and $1000.

If you want to do crazy things or have crazy stuff, then go to an attorney that specializes in estate planning. I would expect they would charge you hourly.

Also just wanted to reiterate that you should check out the benefits where you work to see if they cover this type of planning or legal work. I used the group legal to get an attorney for our closing and wills and it cost me $260. It's definitely one of those things where it's scarier coming than going, KWIM? So just bite the bullet and call someone for an appointment.

[pittpurple]

We have a will as it's complicated when you're in another country with custody issues. We have very, very simple finances but we really need to get organised and have a binder available for our executors just in case something happens to both of us. We spoke very briefly with a financial advisor when getting our mortgage (before that we owned nothing and had no debts so it was all much more simple!) and on his advice, took our life insurance that would cover our mortgage if something happens to one of us or both of us. Our solicitor (it's all slightly different here in Scotland) sent us a list of questions first as well so we could think through the issues.

Did anyone get advice about how to deal with an online profile? Should I create a list of all our passwords for the binder so our executor can close our emails and FB accounts and stuff?

[anewadventure]

thanks ladies for your advice, i appreciate it.

nothing too complicated here. we have a house with a mortgage, life insurance policies, and not an exceptional amount of wealth or other possessions (don't i wish).

being an adult is so annoying sometimes, right?

pittpurple that's a good question regarding passwords and online accounts. i am not comfortable writing down my passwords to accounts but it would be stupid to not collect that information somewhere. i'm not sure what the best approach is.

[CoverGirl82]

We set up a simple will and trust a few years ago when DD was born. I think we paid $1000 for both documents, and that included the time we met with the attorney. You definitely want to have these set up in case anything happens, because it would be terrible for custody of your children decided by anyone but you.

Definitely start thinking about and writing down who you want your children to go to in the event you and your SO die or are incapacitated and unable to care for your children. It actually took me and DH longer than I expected to think through who our LOs would go to if my parents weren't able to care for them. You'll also need to decide at what age your LOs can begin receiving a portion of their trust, and at what subsequent ages they receive remaining portions of the trust.

I'm sure your attorney would recommend this, but indicate "and subsequent children" in the will in case you have an/y additional child/ren - that way you don't need to update the will just to add a new child's name.

Honestly, I felt the whole process of having the will & trust set up was somewhat depressing, but it is so much better to have them and not need them than vice versa.

[anewadventure]

CoverGirl82 i agree re: depressing. kind of like the process and annoyance of getting life insurance. i was shocked at how much it lifted a til then unrecognized, invisible burden i'd been carrying around in my subconscious. i know this will be the same way.

[Life is interesting]

Feb 11, 2015 15:06:52 GMT -5 anewadventure said:

the Tuesday GTKY brought this up in my mind because cookielover said she is an estate / trust attorney.

Any and all advice from the group would be appreciated. My husband and I have been irresponsibly avoiding the topic of wills, estate planning, medical directives, etc. because we just plain don't know where to start besides cold contacting a lawyer.

I think the main issue is I need some resources to educate myself and DH on the topic before I pay someone (by the hour? fixed price?) to help me with it. I don't feel like I have a grasp on what exactly I need to know, need to do, the terminology, my options...I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Now that LO is here, I'm feeling extra guilty about it.

So. What's your advice? What have you guys done? Where should I start? What do I need to think about?

Thanks!!

We did all this with our legal plan at work. Fixed monthly rate $25-30 for all covered legal services. Around here a will and trust cost around $1500. If we had not had he plan we would have paid. Ask for a referral from friends for an estate planning atty.

[Life is interesting]

Feb 11, 2015 17:00:25 GMT -5 kendraj426 said:

DH and I are working with a financial planner in order to plan for taking care of our kids and our future retirement. He recommended the lawyer we are using to write up our wills. The questions listed by jess9802 are exactly what the lawyer asked us and he said until we have those questions answered, there's not much for him to do. So, make sure you discuss those ahead of time and decide what you want to do. It's common in our area to have a flat fee for basic services (will, Medical POA, Medical Directive etc) so he doesn't charge by the hour.

I also recommend that you look into working with a financial planner. The one we work with doesn't charge us anything, but gets paid by the companies for the products he recommends. We both just signed up for whole life insurance which will help us be able to live comfortably when we retire (projected at 60 for both of us), and we are working on paying down our debts so that we can have more disposable income when the kids get older and involved in activities and go to college. Working with him has made me feel so much better about our and our children's future. I don't worry so much about how we will be able to afford things as they get older, or if something happens to one or both of us.

Just as an aside, I would dump any advisor who sold me or tried to sell me whole life insurance. Most people in the financial world ( which isn't me) regard it as a poor investment. If you desire an investment get an Investment. If you need insurance buy insurance. Term life is the cheapest and by the time it terms your goal is to be self insured and not need the policy. Whole life also gives the agent the most commission so that's how to know when someone is out for them versus you.

Hope the aside opinion is ok.

[kam3100]

Yikes, so realistically setting up a basic will would cost $1000-$1500?

[jess9802]

Feb 12, 2015 18:48:20 GMT -5 kam3100 said:

Yikes, so realistically setting up a basic will would cost $1000-$1500?

It's really going to depend on the rates in your area. In my area and at my firm that would be a high fee for a married couple. Also, I would bet that fee includes the preparation of powers of attorney and living wills/advance directives for both spouses.

[Life is interesting]

Feb 12, 2015 19:27:38 GMT -5 jess9802 said:

Feb 12, 2015 18:48:20 GMT -5 kam3100 said:

Yikes, so realistically setting up a basic will would cost $1000-$1500?

It's really going to depend on the rates in your area. In my area and at my firm that would be a high fee for a married couple. Also, I would bet that fee includes the preparation of powers of attorney and living wills/advance directives for both spouses.

When I gave the price in my area (1500) I meant it for the will, setting up the trust, Poa and health care poa.