Things you never thought you'd say

[Deleted]

Confess it here. What crazy ass thing have you caught yourself saying to your kid(s)?

[Deleted]

What inspired this thread...

"You are not a dinosaur, do not shriek in my face"

[ampaints]

At least once a week I tell M not to smash his junk. Dude greys aggressive during diaper changes.

[Deleted]

Yesterday in a public restroom, Adelyn carr, stop putting your dirty fingers in your vagina, it's not going to make it stop hurting!

Her, my butt hurts mommy, and loud crying...

(Her butt is her butt but her vagina too. And she has vaginitis so it hurts to pee)

[tuscanlatte]

"Please do not poop on the driveway"

"You need to use the door not the window"

"Don't stand on the roof of the car"

[layloo08]

Do not put your toothbrush on your penis!
I said this daily.

[Deleted]

Oct 2, 2016 19:20:32 GMT -5 layloo08 said:

Do not put your toothbrush on your penis!
I said this daily.

This is great

[packmomma]

Oct 2, 2016 18:30:46 GMT -5 ampaints said:

At least once a week I tell M not to smash his junk. Dude greys aggressive during diaper changes.

This! "Be nice to your penis W" was never a sentence I thought I would be saying.

[abominationsnowman]

Stop grabbing your penis with my kitchen tongs.

Get your butt off your brother's face.

Don't eat that snow. That's how you get worms.

[Deleted]

Stop farting on me.

[2dumbdogs]

Oct 3, 2016 10:00:58 GMT -5 @betweenthelines said:

Stop farting on me.

Lol I have had to say this to many people in my life, sister, brother, brother in law, husband....not my kid yet

[Deleted]

Oct 3, 2016 10:38:16 GMT -5 2dumbdogs said:

Oct 3, 2016 10:00:58 GMT -5 @betweenthelines said:

Stop farting on me.

Lol I have had to say this to many people in my life, sister, brother, brother in law, husband....not my kid yet

I've said it to my brother, but I feel like that's a given. Kids? Not so much.. But apparently it is.

[packmomma]

Stop eating the lotion.
He licks his arms and hands very night after we put lotion on him. So ridiculous.

There are no other breasts.

W is convinced that I have 4 breasts. The ones that come out of the top of my shirt (in a v neck for instance ) and the ones that are there when I pull my shirt up (when wearing a crew neck). If I'm wearing a crew neck he gets super mad that I am not giving him access to the "other" breasts and will try to strangle me with my own shirt collar trying to get to them.To the point where this weekend I took my nightshirt off completely so I was topless and he tugged at my skin trying to produce the "other" breasts.

[redandblue]

Take your pancake out of your ear, it's not a phone.

[Deleted]

Oct 4, 2016 6:54:14 GMT -5 redandblue said:

Take your pancake out of your ear, it's not a phone.

C puts everything to his ear and either says hello or hi guys.

[elvenqueen]

"Put the potato back."


I know more ridiculousness will ensure, but that in itself is cracking me up.

[packmomma]

Stop licking the table.

[Deleted]

Stop head butting the window.

The USB is not a phone.

The mouse is not a phone.

Get out of your sisters drawers (because I immediately think drawers are pants)

[tmclawchick]

Get your foot out of her face.