PGAL/PAIF Check-In (10/4-10/6)

[caer]

Pregnant After Loss / Pregnant After Infertility (PGAL/PAIF) check-in is posted once a week (generally on a Monday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss or a history of infertility and are now pregnant. Anyone who participates may start the thread each week.

Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning or spoiler if you decide to talk about any living children.

PGAL Mantras

SPOILER: Click to show

Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.



I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.



My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c.



Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!



Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot jinx your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!



There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive"

How far along are you?

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally?

Any upcoming appointments or tests?

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves:

GTKY: What is your favorite snack? Do you prefer sweet or savory?

[glb30]

Hi, all!

I'll go first. Not too much to report.

How far along? 15w3d

How are you doing? I'm doing well both physically and emotionally. I'm a little nauseous right this second, but morning sickness appears to be nearing its end. Emotionally, I'm doing well.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? We decided not to do the Spina Bifida blood test, so no appointments for 3 more weeks.

Updates: I've been touring daycares and having other people act like there is a REAL baby is there is helping my PGAL brain.

Favorite snack: Non-pregnant GLB prefers savory snacks- like a hard boiled egg. (Not sure that qualifies as savory, but you get the idea.) Right now, I am obsessed with sweets. Panera cookies are my favorite. I also am digging oberweis ice cream.

[glb30]

jennykat yikes! I'd be mad at my H, too. I hope as the pregnancy moves forward you feel less anxious. Easier said than done, I know.

[skk]

glb30 I hope the morning sickness will be behind you soon!

jennykat Boo to your H, but it sounds like he's very excited. I hope he'll be able to better understand your anxiety so he won't continue to feed it.

[skk]

How far along are you? 15w5d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? I'm doing pretty good. I wish the nausea was completely behind me by now, but it still seems to creep up on me throughout the day. My allergies are also being a beast and I'm really missing some decongestants. Emotionally the doppler helps put my mind at ease when I start spiraling.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? Thyroid checkup on Friday. Next appointment with the OB on 18th.

Updates - I was talking to my supervisor yesterday about coverage while I'm on leave. It was a brief conversation and she seemed to think I'd only be out 8 weeks when I was planning to take 12. It caught me off guard and I didn't say anything when I really should've spoken up. In general we have a good relationship, but our office is short handed and I'm feeling guilty about requesting the 12 weeks.

GTKY: I'm not a huge snacker, but mostly a sweets person...chocolate, donuts, cake.

[callmeKD]

skk - do not feel guilty about taking 12 weeks!! I repeat, do not feel guilty. this is your time with your baby.

[callmeKD]

How far along are you? 18w/4 d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? physically - I'm so tired and sore. emotionally - I still have another week before the big U/S. some days it starts to feel real, and then I start worrying that something is wrong. the babies kicks are getting strong and I think I can tell who is kicking me when.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? not until next week.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: nothing right now.

GTKY: What is your favorite snack? Do you prefer sweet or savory? I love both, but would choose savory. except when I'm pregnant, then I want the sweet.

[skk]

callmeKD I'm trying so hard to push the guilt away. It's hard though, I won't actually have enough leave saved up because of the IVF and unexpected surgery so I'll have to request LWOP. We can swing it, but it seems like asking an extra favor for the time off.

I hope the week flies by for you. That's so exciting about all the kicks! I can't wait to hear all about your u/s!

[callmeKD]

Oct 5, 2016 14:12:33 GMT -5 skk said:

callmeKD I'm trying so hard to push the guilt away. It's hard though, I won't actually have enough leave saved up because of the IVF and unexpected surgery so I'll have to request LWOP. We can swing it, but it seems like asking an extra favor for the time off.

I hope the week flies by for you. That's so exciting about all the kicks! I can't wait to hear all about your u/s!

just keep reminding yourself that it's the only time you will truly have to devote to this baby exclusively. I'm planning 12 weeks and maybe a bit more depending on if these 2 end up early or in the NICU. 

but I totally get the guilt thing. being a working mom has layers of guilt daily. 

[caer]

I'm glad you're feeling better glb30!

I'm so sorry your H did that jennykat. I'd be really pissed. (((Hugs)))

The doppler is a lifesaver for me, too skk. We're so lucky to have this technology available to us!

Yay for strong baby kicks callmeKD!

[caer]

How far along are you? 15 weeks

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? I'm down to two pills and physically feeling better. Emotionally, I have mostly good days now, although PGAL brain sneaks up on me every now and then.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? Not for about 2 weeks.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: My EDD for my loss is on Monday. It makes me sad to think about what could have been.

GTKY: What is your favorite snack? Do you prefer sweet or savory?
I'm a savory girl. Give me all the chips! Chips and dip are my favorite.

[callmeKD]

more hugs caer & renegadewhit. I passed my loss EDD last month and it was hard.

[caer]

(((Hugs))) renegadewhit

[glb30]

renegadewhit yay for movement!!!!

caer glad you are feeling better too! And (((hugs))) for the loss anniversary.

[glb30]

Oops, I was sending hugs to you renegadewhit, but I sent them to caer. caer- early hugs for your loss anniversary next week.

[mosdub]

How far along are you? 14w5d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Physically I feel pretty normal, almost not pregnant - I hope my belly pops in the coming week. Emotionally I've been fine, but I'm ready and anxious for this 16 week and 20 week ultrasound to put my worst fears at ease. Today the thought popped in my head "what if my baby is already gone and I just don't know it yet?" I hope my belly pops more and I can hardly wait to feel the twinges and flutters.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? Ultrasound in a week and a half.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: Nothing really! Just cruising along hoping baby is still growing and healthy.

GTKY: What is your favorite snack? Do you prefer sweet or savory? I like both but I think I prefer savory. My favorite snack is probably a toasted bagel (like a good bagel) with cream cheese. It can't be beat.

[mosdub]

skk you'll never regret taking the extra time, but you might regret not taking it! I'm going to have to take 3 weeks unpaid. I am due close to our spring break (I hope I am able to work right up to the end) so I'd like to take the rest of the school year off and have it butt up next to summer.

[mosdub]

. we go into the second week of June, but don't start until September after Labor Day. I'm hoping baby comes close to the due date. Obviously you always want to be able to go full term for the sake of the babe, but financially speaking of baby comes 4 weeks early then that significantly changes things. I may need to go back and teach but it would be weird coming back only with a few weeks left of school

[caer]

. - I definitely have feels - and not good ones - when people talk about planning for (and getting) 2u2 or the perfect due date or maternity leave. It's especially trigger-y for me when people talk about the "best" sibling spacing, because that choice was taken out of our hands.

I've mentioned this before but I've been surprised at how the bad feelings have lingered. For example, there's a girl on my FB who is also due in March and she posts every damn day about her pregnancy - bump pics, complaints, cutesy hashtags. It makes my skin crawl. I know it shouldn't bother me because I'm freaking pregnant but it does.

So that's the long way of saying I think IF/loss changes you and it doesn't just magically go away when you see two lines. I think it's natural to be...bothered? Or jealous of?...people for whom pregnancy is simply an exciting and uncomplicated thing.

[mosdub]

. I just read your post about people planning their pregnancies all casual like it's so simple. One of the teachers I work with said she wanted to have her kids on spring break so BOTH times they "just got pregnant in July" to make it happen. Wow. Must be nice.