Post by squeakyduck on Feb 12, 2015 16:34:06 GMT -5
I had some time to think about it, and I realized that it's not about random people being overly familiar and calling me Mom, it's an identity thing. I also hate being called Mrs. Husband's first and last name.
What I don't like is when people refer to me by my relationship to another person to my face. If you are talking to me, use my name.
Food UO: (1) Raw cookie dough is gross. (2) Same for raw cake batter.
Bake it, then eat it. I'm not afraid of the salmonella (maybe I should be?) - the (3) raw version is just nowhere near as good as the finished product.
Don't even get me started on the (4) abomination that is cookie dough ice cream.
1. Wrong. 2. Wrong. 3. Wrong, especially when I'm not in the mood to bake a dozen or more cookies, but really want some cookie flavor in my life. 4. So wrong.
So many wrongs!
I decided to make my own ready to bake cookies a couple weeks ago. They were awesome, but I think 6 made it into the actual oven.
I had some time to think about it, and I realized that it's not about random people being overly familiar and calling me Mom, it's an identity thing. I also hate being called Mrs. Husband's first and last name.
What I don't like is when people refer to me by my relationship to another person to my face. If you are talking to me, use my name.
So in the middle of one of my son's procedures in his pedi's office, one of the 4 assisting nurses asked my husband to assist. He should be offended that she didn't let go of what she was doing, take off her gloves, look up DH's name on the tablet that was in the other room, look up DH's name, then come back, ask him by his first name to help hold down DS's arms while she puts gloves back on so she can assist as well?
Or the nurse that was in the middle of getting his vitals and she called me mom to ask me to help calm him down when he flipped out over nothing? She should have gone over to the tablet and looked up my name first?
LOL. Ok. Have fun with that unrealistic expectation.
My UO is I dislike the taste of all coffee (and luckily I'm hyper and a morning person) and won't drink it!
That is just so lucky for you
/sarcasm
I don't like coffee either, which is convenient because I'm not allowed to have caffeine on a regular basis. Sleep disorder sucks. However, I truly envy ALL coffee drinkers because I'm a miserable fucking person in the morning. So please have an extra cup for me tomorrow morning.
Me: 30 DH: 29; Married: September, 2010 TTC #1: April 2013 Benched: May 2013 Cancer(DH) Off the Bench: September 2014 July 2015 ER low sperm count and motility(radiation side effect). FET September 1,2015. BFP 9/9/15.- 3 on the way.
I don't like coffee either, which is convenient because I'm not allowed to have caffeine on a regular basis. Sleep disorder sucks. However, I truly envy ALL coffee drinkers because I'm a miserable fucking person in the morning. So please have an extra cup for me tomorrow morning.
I'm in the same boat. Insomnia + caffeine sensitivity equals misery if I have coffee more than once a week. Which isn't SO bad, because I'm not a coffee fan, unless it's one of those sugar laden, flavored "coffee drinks". And iced capps. Summer is the worst, all I want is an iced capp from Timmie's, all day, everyday. So much delicious
Eh. I've seen larger age gaps between married couples I know IRL so I don't really see what the big deal is.
I know it happens in real life. That wasn't my point. My point is that Hollywood insists on different standards for men and women. Women need to be young forever. I think things might be better than before but a long way from equal.
Also, I don't think this one instance is a huge deal. I was thinking beyond this one movie where maybe she was just the best person for the part. I think overall it is sad that women over a certain age won't get the same sort of opportunities that men will.
Edit Not directly related to my response but maybe my UO is that I think feminism needs to make somewhat of a comeback. So many people these days think it is not needed, that we are already equal and that it is all about man hating.
You are not the only one of that opinion. It might not be your thing, but there is a new on-going Feminist Exploitation comic called Bitch Planet by Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine De Landro. At the end of each comic they have an essay on different views or topics regarding feminism.
Me: 30 DH: 29; Married: September, 2010 TTC #1: April 2013 Benched: May 2013 Cancer(DH) Off the Bench: September 2014 July 2015 ER low sperm count and motility(radiation side effect). FET September 1,2015. BFP 9/9/15.- 3 on the way.
The mom thing. I would prefer if only my kids call me mom. It does not bother me in situations like the ER, certain medical settings or if it is used without a condescending tone.
My own doctor is very condescending to women. Any women who has a child is "mommy", and most situations result in a diagnosis of anxiety. (from sinus infections, stomach infection, a tantrum my daughter had at 18 months old..etc) even when he is looking at our file and my name is visible and I am still "mommy". When he says it I know it is condescending due to his other actions and I hate it. I don't expect him to memorize my name but he even when he can see my daughters last name, try Ms lastname or just Ms. It would not bug me if his nurses used it because they don't have the same attitude as him but most of them manage not to.
The woman helping me pick out shoes for my daughter or the cashier at the grocery store do not need to call me mom, mommy, momma, honey, dear, or anything other than Miss, Mrs, Ms or Ma'am. (or my name is they know it)
You are not the only one of that opinion. It might not be your thing, but there is a new on-going Feminist Exploitation comic called Bitch Planet by Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine De Landro. At the end of each comic they have an essay on different views or topics regarding feminism.
I had some time to think about it, and I realized that it's not about random people being overly familiar and calling me Mom, it's an identity thing. I also hate being called Mrs. Husband's first and last name.
What I don't like is when people refer to me by my relationship to another person to my face. If you are talking to me, use my name.
So in the middle of one of my son's procedures in his pedi's office, one of the 4 assisting nurses asked my husband to assist. He should be offended that she didn't let go of what she was doing, take off her gloves, look up DH's name on the tablet that was in the other room, look up DH's name, then come back, ask him by his first name to help hold down DS's arms while she puts gloves back on so she can assist as well?
Or the nurse that was in the middle of getting his vitals and she called me mom to ask me to help calm him down when he flipped out over nothing? She should have gone over to the tablet and looked up my name first?
LOL. Ok. Have fun with that unrealistic expectation.
Well obviously in an emergency I wouldn't care. I am aware of a little thing called context. And again, this opinion might change in the future. But in an otherwise routine situation, especially now, as I have no children and people are using in in context of my dog, ma'am works just fine.
I know it happens in real life. That wasn't my point. My point is that Hollywood insists on different standards for men and women. Women need to be young forever. I think things might be better than before but a long way from equal.
Also, I don't think this one instance is a huge deal. I was thinking beyond this one movie where maybe she was just the best person for the part. I think overall it is sad that women over a certain age won't get the same sort of opportunities that men will.
Edit Not directly related to my response but maybe my UO is that I think feminism needs to make somewhat of a comeback. So many people these days think it is not needed, that we are already equal and that it is all about man hating.
You are not the only one of that opinion. It might not be your thing, but there is a new on-going Feminist Exploitation comic called Bitch Planet by Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine De Landro. At the end of each comic they have an essay on different views or topics regarding feminism.
I sincerely hope wanting equal women's rights isn't a UO!
From a convo the other day, I don't really get the Kanye hate. I think he is misunderstood at best. Sure, he can be a douchbag, but he does have the talent to back it up. I also don't think he should assume that Beyonce should win all the awards, because no, but I can't bring myself to hate him. He's entertaining.
This partly has to do with how adorable I thought he was on Ellen a couple weeks ago. He seems like a big softy deep down. LOL, I didn't know I had so many feels about this man.
Catching up, and I'm sure this has been addressed, but I'm still going to comment.
You can be talented and not an egocentric dickhead. He is portraying himself, whether it is his true character or a manufactured "character" he plays, as that. He is talented, yet his personality and behaviour is over shadowing his career. It's unfortunate because younger and newer artists are seeing this as acceptable behaviour (see Justin Bieber, for example). Being famous doesn't mean that you are above others.
I hope this made sense.
I know that he is an asshole most times, I don't deny that. I was just stating that I don't hate him. It is an odd UO, I know. He's almost comical to me. And yes, hopefully others coming up won't try to be his persona. Bieber is a joke.
So in the middle of one of my son's procedures in his pedi's office, one of the 4 assisting nurses asked my husband to assist. He should be offended that she didn't let go of what she was doing, take off her gloves, look up DH's name on the tablet that was in the other room, look up DH's name, then come back, ask him by his first name to help hold down DS's arms while she puts gloves back on so she can assist as well?
Or the nurse that was in the middle of getting his vitals and she called me mom to ask me to help calm him down when he flipped out over nothing? She should have gone over to the tablet and looked up my name first?
LOL. Ok. Have fun with that unrealistic expectation.
Well obviously in an emergency I wouldn't care. I am aware of a little thing called context. And again, this opinion might change in the future. But in an otherwise routine situation, especially now, as I have no children and people are using in in context of my dog, ma'am works just fine.
Neither was an emergency, just extremely inconvenient and not worth it.
And yes, in the context of dogs or in the case of someone you see daily that actually knows your name (or in your case both)- I'm with you there. If the director at j's daycare called me "mom" that would be weird. She's known me for 4 years. She knows my name.
I had some time to think about it, and I realized that it's not about random people being overly familiar and calling me Mom, it's an identity thing. I also hate being called Mrs. Husband's first and last name.
What I don't like is when people refer to me by my relationship to another person to my face. If you are talking to me, use my name.
I can't wait to be called Mrs. Husbands name AND mommy/mom/momma.
I had some time to think about it, and I realized that it's not about random people being overly familiar and calling me Mom, it's an identity thing. I also hate being called Mrs. Husband's first and last name.
What I don't like is when people refer to me by my relationship to another person to my face. If you are talking to me, use my name.
I can't wait to be called Mrs. Husbands name AND mommy/mom/momma.
I don't mind at all being called Mrs. Husband's Lastname. That's my name. I dislike being called Mrs. John Smith.
And I would love to be called mommy by someone, but that person doesn't exist yet.
You can be talented and not an egocentric dickhead. He is portraying himself, whether it is his true character or a manufactured "character" he plays, as that. He is talented, yet his personality and behaviour is over shadowing his career. It's unfortunate because younger and newer artists are seeing this as acceptable behaviour (see Justin Bieber, for example). Being famous doesn't mean that you are above others.
I hope this made sense.
I know that he is an asshole most times, I don't deny that. I was just stating that I don't hate him. It is an odd UO, I know. He's almost comical to me. And yes, hopefully others coming up won't try to be his persona. Bieber is a joke.
Well, I don't like Bieber's style of music or the person he seems to be at least he is young. Sometimes young people who are given lots of money and little guidance go a bit off track. He has talent and might grow out of his behaviour. I think it is kind of cruel that so many grown people act like this kid is satan and make fun of him. (not thinking of you but so many talkshow hosts and the media) He is a stupid kid. Maybe he will be a better adult, maybe he will be a jerk, but let him grow up first.
Personally I do not think Kanye is an amazingly great talent. I think he is talented, just not nearly as much as he does. Also, I do not like the person he seems to be. He is a grown up. There is no excuse to be the way he is. Even if he has as much talent as some people think that does not give him the right to act like he does.
I think Beyonce is way overrated. From what I hear she puts on a good show but I do not think her voice is amazing and her songs, although catchy, are not great. (not that she even writes them all) Why is some guy with supposedly great talent assuming she should be winning everything? How can he not see she is not better than everyone else? He said Beck should give her his award? Does he know anything about Beck?
In all honesty I don't love any of these musicians.
Edit I am not even sure why I wrote such a long response. I guess I really hated the way Kanye treated Beck. I actually didn't even watch the Grammy's. (and who knows, maybe Beck is a jerk too)
I can't wait to be called Mrs. Husbands name AND mommy/mom/momma.
I don't mind at all being called Mrs. Husband's Lastname. That's my name. I dislike being called Mrs. John Smith.
And I would love to be called mommy by someone, but that person doesn't exist yet.
Honest question: is it disrespectful to address a woman as "Mrs. John Smith"? I try to stick with formality when it comes to things like wedding invitations, etc., but I would hate to offend someone. Do you think it's just personal preference?
And yes I totally get your point about the person calling you momma not existing yet. There's a little boy I take home from school everyday and the kids all call me "[name]'s mom" (he looks a little bit like me), and it's cute and all, but sometimes when I'm feeling hormonal it makes me twinge a little bit because I'm not actually someone's mom yet.
I sincerely hope wanting equal women's rights isn't a UO!
Talking to some women these days it seems they think feminists are "man hating". Young women I worked with, my 16 year old niece and some of her friends and some relatives, they all think feminism is unnecessary. It is sad, and scary.
I don't mind at all being called Mrs. Husband's Lastname. That's my name. I dislike being called Mrs. John Smith.
And I would love to be called mommy by someone, but that person doesn't exist yet.
Honest question: is it disrespectful to address a woman as "Mrs. John Smith"? I try to stick with formality when it comes to things like wedding invitations, etc., but I would hate to offend someone. Do you think it's just personal preference?
And yes I totally get your point about the person calling you momma not existing yet. There's a little boy I take home from school everyday and the kids all call me "[name]'s mom" (he looks a little bit like me), and it's cute and all, but sometimes when I'm feeling hormonal it makes me twinge a little bit because I'm not actually someone's mom yet.
I typically address people of my mother's generation (baby boomers) and older as Mrs. John Smith but any younger I would either do Mrs. Mary Smith & Mr. John Smith or just Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
I do not like being referred to as Mrs. Husband First and Last name. I prefer my own first name be used or no first names at all.
Coffee. Flavored, unflavored, dark roast, light roast, I want it all! FWIW, I do prefer my dark roast DD coffee with my own creamer or flavoring, just so I can control what and how much I'm putting in there.
My UO: I think standardized tests should be revoked. Especially for graduate school. There is so much more that potential grad students are capable of than what bubble they fill in on a scantron. The only thing is, I am not sure what the alternative would be.
Just a little insight on the "being called mom in the hospital" thing:
Oftentimes, the names of the parents are not noted in the chart, may be hard to find if so, or may even be wrong. When I did my peds rotation, I was taught to use mom and dad. To most people, it's worse to be called by the wrong name than to be called "mom" or "dad". Generally, as I got to know my patients, they would tell me how they preferred to be addressed. But the first visit? Always best to ask "are you mom/dad?" instead of assuming they have the same last name as the child or the other parent.
Now, this doesn't excuse being called anything other than your name by a healthcare provide that you have a long standing relationship with. But some people just have horrible bedside manners.
Met in May 2011 Engaged November 2011 Married November 2013 Started TTC November 2015 Began Infertility Workup November 2016 BFP! Lucky #13 Cycle TTC Due Date: 9/5/2017
Post by ashleymarie26 on Feb 13, 2015 6:23:30 GMT -5
Well, I guess from reading most of the responses, UO may actually be that I adore when people call me Mrs. H's first and last name.... maybe just because we are newlyweds and I love being reminded of that. I don't feel at all like it diminishes my identity as an individual, but is rather an accurate representation of a huge change in my life that recently occured, and that will always be a part of me.
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