So no one seriously thinks that he has become too dependent on certain things that we've been doing pretty much since birth to fall asleep, causing frequent wake-ups when those things aren't there? Okay then.
I think you're getting 8 straight hours out of a 5 month old. I know your DD was an awesome sleeper, but even this is pretty amazing. I'd pop the paci back in when he wakes and count myself damn lucky. In another few weeks, he will be finding that paci and putting it back on his own anyway.
So no one seriously thinks that he has become too dependent on certain things that we've been doing pretty much since birth to fall asleep, causing frequent wake-ups when those things aren't there? Okay then.
We took away the pacifier at 7m because he was sleeping terribly. He kept losing it and screaming, up at least 10+ times a night between 6pm-2am. He couldn't fall asleep on his own, even the pacifier didn't help, he needed to be rocked to sleep with the pacifier or fed everytime. We sleep trained at 7m and he would still wake once per night and need a quick cuddle and then we could put him back down slightly awake. He got sick/travelling/growth spurt and went back to 3-4 wake ups per night. It got worse again after we moved (1.5yrs) and then he was awake up to 7x a night again. Now, with two weeks until 2 he is up once a night, sometimes two.
We tried sleep training again after we moved but it was no effective. This next baby will be sleep trained if necessary around 6-7m. I wouldn't expect sleeping through the night, but being able to give a quick cuddle and then put down awake or just letting him know you're there/a pat on the back and then falling asleep alone seems reasonable.
Short version: Ditching the pacifier was great for us, it helped with getting to sleep, but not staying asleep. Still needed to see us when he woke but could go back down alone.
So no one seriously thinks that he has become too dependent on certain things that we've been doing pretty much since birth to fall asleep, causing frequent wake-ups when those things aren't there? Okay then.
I think you're getting 8 straight hours out of a 5 month old. I know your DD was an awesome sleeper, but even this is pretty amazing. I'd pop the paci back in when he wakes and count myself damn lucky. In another few weeks, he will be finding that paci and putting it back on his own anyway.
And that's absolutely what we were doing for quite awhile. Didn't bother me too much. The last two nights and naps today have just been awful and popping the paci back in isn't really working anymore like it used to. Maybe he's just having a rough week. I'm going to try for a more consistent bedtime routine and we'll see how the next few nights go.
I don't understand why every single holiday or event needs to revolve around food--specifically junk food. Why do kids need to bring candy and cupcakes to school for valentine's day? Why can't they just make cards for their classmates and pass those out? Why does every single occasion have to be celebrated with a side of diabetes?
Ds1's school is the opposite and it used to make me sad, but now I think it is great. It is an allergy friendly school and all meals are cooked in house and they have organic targets they are supposed to meet.
I was sad because we wouldn't get the chance to send in birthday cupcakes and that was a big part of my childhood. But after baking so much for the party for kids /family etc, I can live without baking cupcakes.
We are allowed to send in fruit for birthdays, so DS1 loves getting to pick out the fruit of the day on his birthday. This time he chose honey dew melon and was thrilled. New memories for a new age I guess. I'm OK with it.
I'm just not sure it's healthy to teach our children that all memories have to be rooted in food, but it's quite possible that I am overthinking it. Now, having said that, you bet your buttons my kids will get a birthday cake in whatever flavor cake/icing they want each year for their birthdays (or, if they are strange children like I was, a birthday pie). And we'll make Christmas cookies and renindeer munch each year at Christmas, and we definitely have some food traditions. But it's not like, "Oh, special day--let's serve cake!"
In school the only two they ever get any candy is Valentines, and Halloween. Then at home birthday cake and Christmas cookies. Their hands down favorite holiday is the 4th of July, and that does have a must have food component, but that is watermelon
I guess I just don't see it as memories being rooted in food. Also I feel both the "candy Holidays" have a good chance to teach a lesson. Eat a little, and save some. That it is OK to treat yourself, but not to go over board KWIM?
Just to be clear I not the Murica diabetes queen here. I think fruit for birthdays is awesome, just stating my reason for why candy on Valentines day doesn't bother me.
I mean, some kids suck at sleeping. My son didn't STTN until he was 15 months old. I honestly don't think it was a result of anything we did or didn't do.
That's fair. And that could be the case with him too. I still want to give sleep training a shot sometime soon though. If it works, awesome. If it doesn't, I guess I better get used to being sleep deprived for a long time yet.
I don't think I understand the issue. He is sleeping 7-8 straight hours, right? Why can't you sleep for 6 during that time? How much is he waking after the first wake up? I know you don't want advice, but it's the internet sooooo, I really don't think anything is weird and he is normal for a 5 month old. I would not start taking away comforts for him or sleep train at that age. He was in a warm uterus for 9 months....the big world takes awhile to get used to
So no one seriously thinks that he has become too dependent on certain things that we've been doing pretty much since birth to fall asleep, causing frequent wake-ups when those things aren't there? Okay then.
We took away the pacifier at 7m because he was sleeping terribly. He kept losing it and screaming, up at least 10+ times a night between 6pm-2am. He couldn't fall asleep on his own, even the pacifier didn't help, he needed to be rocked to sleep with the pacifier or fed everytime. We sleep trained at 7m and he would still wake once per night and need a quick cuddle and then we could put him back down slightly awake. He got sick/travelling/growth spurt and went back to 3-4 wake ups per night. It got worse again after we moved (1.5yrs) and then he was awake up to 7x a night again. Now, with two weeks until 2 he is up once a night, sometimes two.
We tried sleep training again after we moved but it was no effective. This next baby will be sleep trained if necessary around 6-7m. I wouldn't expect sleeping through the night, but being able to give a quick cuddle and then put down awake or just letting him know you're there/a pat on the back and then falling asleep alone seems reasonable.
Short version: Ditching the pacifier was great for us, it helped with getting to sleep, but not staying asleep. Still needed to see us when he woke but could go back down alone.
I honestly read this as a reason NOT to sleep train that young. Building security early on is really important for being able to sleep and self soothe at later stages. I don't mean this snarky at all, but it sounds like you have had continual sleep issues since the original training. Am I misreading something?
That's fair. And that could be the case with him too. I still want to give sleep training a shot sometime soon though. If it works, awesome. If it doesn't, I guess I better get used to being sleep deprived for a long time yet.
I don't think I understand the issue. He is sleeping 7-8 straight hours, right? Why can't you sleep for 6 during that time? How much is he waking after the first wake up? I know you don't want advice, but it's the internet sooooo, I really don't think anything is weird and he is normal for a 5 month old. I would not start taking away comforts for him or sleep train at that age. He was in a warm uterus for 9 months....the big world takes awhile to get used to
The issue is that last night I only got 6 hours of sleep total, and that is not enough for me. I even went to bed earlier than usual, too. He normally wakes 3-4 times, including to eat, and often doesn't go back to sleep very quickly anymore if at all after drinking his bottle, so whereas before I used to get another hour or so after that, now I don't. Most nights I do get at least 6 hours straight of sleep, but multiple nights in a row of more than usual waking up is wearing on me. I need a lot of sleep or I don't function well. Yeah, I know sleep deprivation is part of parenting and I should get used to it, but honestly I don't think it's that big of a deal to try sleep training. If it doesn't work then oh well. But I can at least try and see if it improves things. I know his behavior is not abnormal, but I would still like to not have so many wake-ups and only 30-minute naps during the day, and I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to make it better.
I'm just not sure it's healthy to teach our children that all memories have to be rooted in food, but it's quite possible that I am overthinking it. Now, having said that, you bet your buttons my kids will get a birthday cake in whatever flavor cake/icing they want each year for their birthdays (or, if they are strange children like I was, a birthday pie). And we'll make Christmas cookies and renindeer munch each year at Christmas, and we definitely have some food traditions. But it's not like, "Oh, special day--let's serve cake!"
Haaaaaa... I come from a big Italian family. EVERY memory is rooted in food. I am ok with this.
I should also add, any sleep I get after the initial wake-up is not good quality sleep. It's like I know he will be up again relatively soon so I don't even fall into a deep sleep because I'm half listening for him. So that makes a big difference to me.
Rant. I cannot stand one more second of winter. Nor one more snow flake. Nope.
Winter, I can handle. It's the snow, SO much snow. There's no place to put it and it makes people stupid. But mostly there's no place to put it. Then there's the issue of the ice dams, ugh.
Maybe you are right we should just skip to spring, right after all the Feb birthdays.
I agree I hate snow. Honest question what kind of candy goes with St. Patrick's day, memorial day, mother's and father's day? None of those are tied with candy for me.
I'm really sad that DS2 is skipping newborn clothes. Are any other babies I have going to be this big too? Am I never going to get to use those NB clothes ever again? or in the case of the two super cute brand new sleepers MIL gave him - NEVER
I don't think I understand the issue. He is sleeping 7-8 straight hours, right? Why can't you sleep for 6 during that time? How much is he waking after the first wake up? I know you don't want advice, but it's the internet sooooo, I really don't think anything is weird and he is normal for a 5 month old. I would not start taking away comforts for him or sleep train at that age. He was in a warm uterus for 9 months....the big world takes awhile to get used to
The issue is that last night I only got 6 hours of sleep total, and that is not enough for me. I even went to bed earlier than usual, too. He normally wakes 3-4 times, including to eat, and often doesn't go back to sleep very quickly anymore if at all after drinking his bottle, so whereas before I used to get another hour or so after that, now I don't. Most nights I do get at least 6 hours straight of sleep, but multiple nights in a row of more than usual waking up is wearing on me. I need a lot of sleep or I don't function well. Yeah, I know sleep deprivation is part of parenting and I should get used to it, but honestly I don't think it's that big of a deal to try sleep training. If it doesn't work then oh well. But I can at least try and see if it improves things. I know his behavior is not abnormal, but I would still like to not have so many wake-ups and only 30-minute naps during the day, and I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to make it better.
OMG, I'm going to try to keep the snark from spurting out of my mouth because it is coming from a truly jealous place. I am also someone who is a complete mess without 8 hours of consecutive sleep at night, as my ongoing health problems show, but that is the name of the game right now and pretty much has been since DS2 was born.... and he turns 2 at the end of the month. The fact that you have consistently gotten 6 hours of sleep per night since becoming a mom of 2 without going to bed at 7pm makes me seriously seriously jealous. Now that Ds2 is older I do often get at least 6, but this is a relatively new thing and certainly did not happen for the first year
ETA our recent revist to the land of no sleep was thanks to an ongoing barrage of molars, ear infections, stomach flus, our older one who sleeps 10 hours straight going through a period of bad dreams (which we finally solved by him being able to come into our room and getting our dog to keep him company) and a variety of other fun time adventures. Neither of our kids have ever had any comfort objects, pacifiers, stuffed animals or blankets, and going to sleep on their own in bed is not the problem. But then again we didn't sleep train, so maybe that had something to do with it. I have no friggin idea, they didn't come with a manual.
I'm truly sorry some of you have had/still have babies who don't sleep well. I know I have gotten pretty lucky in that area so far. Once again, I was just venting after a particularly bad night where I didn't get much sleep at all (and even less good sleep). I think I should still be allowed to complain every once in awhile about being tired even if my situation isn't as bad as someone else's. I won't do it here though, that's for sure.
Post by dannytommysmama on Feb 13, 2015 7:03:06 GMT -5
I understand Kleigh926's frustration, especially when they aren't waking to eat or because of discomfort. DS1 was an amazing night sleeper and I expected, foolishly, that DS2 would do the same. I also understand wanting to try sleep training - I bought Ferber's book myself, but still a few months away from needing it.
My UO - I hate those "hi! Flying with a baby! Here is a treat for you!"
First - I don't want a bunch of strangers to know my kids' names. Second - I have my hands full with 2. I don't have enough brain power, time, or bag space to think about handing out goodie bags. Third - I think it's kind of AW-ish. Like, oh, look at us! First flyers over here and Pinterest-y parents! Yes it's fun, and on both our sons first flights, they got wings and special attention, but we don't tell everyone around us about it via a few candies and earplugs. Lastly - DH and I exhaust ourselves keeping our sons happy on flights, and there has only been 2 times of the dozen or so we've flown, where the toddler has been a challenge and both were when we were stuck on the Tarmac, and everyone was as frustrated as my baby. If the parents are trying to keep their baby happy, it's enough for me.
We do always offer to buy a drink for the person next to us, which gets a kind smile and no one has ever taken us up on the offer. I have also found that businessmen (not women) are the best. Flying by myself, they've offered to help me, and once when our seats got messed up, a business traveler so nicely gave up his seat the attendant bought him a double whiskey. Women tend to be bitchy. Go figure.
I want a treat bag from the snoring middle aged man because I can't stand repetitive noises ...
I'm truly sorry some of you have had/still have babies who don't sleep well. I know I have gotten pretty lucky in that area so far. Once again, I was just venting after a particularly bad night where I didn't get much sleep at all (and even less good sleep). I think I should still be allowed to complain every once in awhile about being tired even if my situation isn't as bad as someone else's. I won't do it here though, that's for sure.
Not saying you should not complain, by all means do so, it sucks, it totally totally sucks. Just saying, don't think you are going to get a whole lot of 'Wow, yeah, if you just do ABC everything will be fine' and also just saying it took a lot to restrain a huge eye roll, which I am guessing got thru anyway.
Please don't feel the need to censor yourself on my account, but yeah, sometimes an UO is gonna be an UO. Remember, I am the only one around these parts who thinks women's hairy armpits are kinda sexy....
I'm truly sorry some of you have had/still have babies who don't sleep well. I know I have gotten pretty lucky in that area so far. Once again, I was just venting after a particularly bad night where I didn't get much sleep at all (and even less good sleep). I think I should still be allowed to complain every once in awhile about being tired even if my situation isn't as bad as someone else's. I won't do it here though, that's for sure.
Not saying you should not complain, by all means do so, it sucks, it totally totally sucks. Just saying, don't think you are going to get a whole lot of 'Wow, yeah, if you just do ABC everything will be fine' and also just saying it took a lot to restrain a huge eye roll, which I am guessing got thru anyway.
Please don't feel the need to censor yourself on my account, but yeah, sometimes an UO is gonna be an UO. Remember, I am the only one around these parts who thinks women's hairy armpits are kinda sexy....
Haha. Well FWIW, I wasn't expecting anyone to be able to give me a magic method to get my kid to sleep better. I know it's not that easy. I truly was just venting about a bad night, and I didn't expect it to go any further than that. I don't even know myself at this point if we will do sleep training soon because he does go to sleep fairly easily with some rocking and butt-patting and stays asleep when we put him down (it wasn't always that way though- we went through a couple months of screaming at bedtime because he would wake up as soon as we moved or tried to put him down).
Yes the in flight baby treat are stupid!!!! I am not passing out candy for taking my kids places, they are human beings, we bought plane tickets to go somewhere. People are not entitled to a child/baby free flight. Passing out candy to everyone is like saying sorry for something I shouldn't be sorry for. No doubt I will try my very hardest to keep everyone happy. You better believe my older kids will be well behaved a baby cries though, that's life, you don't get a goodie bag for hearing a crying baby.
Post by crimsonandclover on Feb 13, 2015 10:02:06 GMT -5
This may actually be a FFFC, but it fits in this thread, so:
kleigh926, you know I love you, and I really hope your DS settles down into a good sleep pattern very soon because sleep deprivation is truly awful. However, I have to admit it gives me a little bit of hope to see that your DS is sleeping poorly even though I assume you're not parenting totally different from your DD. It makes me feel like maybe my crappy-sleeping babies were not my fault (DD1 STTN regularly when she was 26 months, DD2 when she was 18 months). So please, vent away! I can empathize and yet feel a little less like a crappy parent at the same time
Edit: I just re-read my post and think maybe it was as clear as mush. What I mean was with your DD I wondered what you were doing right and I was doing wrong. But now maybe I think neither of us were doing anything right or wrong, we're both just dealing with babies - all of whom are unique. And my confession is that your posting about your poor sleeper therefore makes me feel better. Was that clearer?
I'm truly sorry some of you have had/still have babies who don't sleep well. I know I have gotten pretty lucky in that area so far. Once again, I was just venting after a particularly bad night where I didn't get much sleep at all (and even less good sleep). I think I should still be allowed to complain every once in awhile about being tired even if my situation isn't as bad as someone else's. I won't do it here though, that's for sure.
I'm sorry you had a rough night - not feeling rested is hard. I know that I am blessed with a great sleeper. DD started sleeping through the night at 3 months and she has been up through the night since then very infrequently - but those nights that it happens it's hard. Even though the majority of the time she sleeps great I think it's still ok to vent on the nights she doesn't - because for us that is something out of the normal and sometimes it just helps to vent. dont feel bad for venting.
This may actually be a FFFC, but it fits in this thread, so:
kleigh926, you know I love you, and I really hope your DS settles down into a good sleep pattern very soon because sleep deprivation is truly awful. However, I have to admit it gives me a little bit of hope to see that your DS is sleeping poorly even though I assume you're not parenting totally different from your DD. It makes me feel like maybe my crappy-sleeping babies were not my fault (DD1 STTN regularly when she was 26 months, DD2 when she was 18 months). So please, vent away! I can empathize and yet feel a little less like a crappy parent at the same time
Oh, I'm sure your girls' sleeping issues had nothing to do with you! You're right, I'm not parenting much differently with DS. I'm trying to remember what I was even doing with DD when she was this age. I know she also woke up sometimes at night and needed her paci replaced, and I think we may have rocked her to sleep for awhile too until trying to put her down awake. I still think she was sleeping a little better by this time, but we really did get lucky with her. Please don't feel like a crappy parent! I feel stupid complaining about DS in front of you and other ladies whose kids gave them so much trouble. I just had a bad day.
Post by crimsonandclover on Feb 13, 2015 13:05:03 GMT -5
kleigh926, don't feel stupid about venting. It's not a competition where only the person whose baby is the absolute worst sleeper gets to complain. Bad nights suck whether your kid is a good or bad sleeper usually. And maybe after hearing all the responses it'll help you to see that as much as it sucks, it's at least not completely abnormal at this age, so it doesn't mean that you're doiing something wrong. It could just be that that's the kind of sleeper he is. (Which is reassuring in one way and in another way absolutely not, because it would be so nice to discover that one magical thing that you can change to have them STTN.)
kleigh926, Don't feel bad for venting. We should all be able to do that here. Every kid is different, and something that may be a huge struggle with one kid may be a breeze with a different kid. Whether something feels like a struggle or not shouldn't be dependent on the degree to which other parents are struggling with it. If something you're dealing with feels hard, vent away!
Yes the in flight baby treat are stupid!!!! I am not passing out candy for taking my kids places, they are human beings, we bought plane tickets to go somewhere. People are not entitled to a child/baby free flight. Passing out candy to everyone is like saying sorry for something I shouldn't be sorry for. No doubt I will try my very hardest to keep everyone happy. You better believe my older kids will be well behaved a baby cries though, that's life, you don't get a goodie bag for hearing a crying baby.
Yes yes yes yes yes. Once again, sagen, I love you. People need to stop thinking of children as some kind of nuisance who need to be contained.
I remember when kleigh's DD just learned how to go in her crib and was all, "Peace out, ma!" and then went to sleep independently I was thinking, "Well now that is WHOLLY unfair." LOL.
I make myself feel better about the sleepless nights by telling myself that I am so amazing my children can't stand to be away from me even in their sleep.
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