PAIF and PAL Weekly Check In

[teachermomtobe]

Since it seems like we have enough interest I'll get us started on a weekly Pregnant after Infertility/Pregnant after Loss check in.  I'm thinking this can be an informal weekly check in, started by anyone, as a place to find support and ask questions that may be unique to our situation.  I think maybe Sunday/Monday might be good time to start usually but for the first one we can get started now  Feel free to help me add questions that can become part of the weekly check in.

How far along are you?

Any questions, worries, concerns?

Upcoming appts?

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay?

[teachermomtobe]

How far along are you? 5w1d

Any questions, worries, concerns? I'm obsessively worrying this could be ectopic. I don't have pain but some random "awareness" on my right side. I also occasionally get it on my left which I try to remind myself is then probably not ectopic. It's actually usually right where my appendectomy scar is that is only 7 months old and bothers me on and off long before this BFP, another way I try to convince myself it's fine. I'm just very nervous for our 1st ultrasound next week. Once I know it's not ectopic I will relax a bit...maybe

Upcoming appts? Ultrasound next Wednesday

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay? Trying to remind myself that this is the most pregnant I have ever been. And also trying to not think about every random ache or twinge.

[wineoclock]

teachermomtobe it sounds like the "awareness" you're feeling is from your recent scar. It's so hard not to be on hyper alert during pregnancy. Hopefully after your appointment you will feel reassured.

How far along are you? 5 weeks today according to LMP.

Any questions, worries, concerns?
I'm terrified of having another first tri loss. My tests were very faint positives even after I got a positive 1-2 weeks on a clear blue easy digi. I can not stop testing to see if the lines get darker even though it's making me feel crazy.

Upcoming appts? Oct 28th for an US. I'll be 7 weeks by LMP so I'm really hoping for a heartbeat. We never heard one with my loss so I'm hoping that will calm me down a bit.

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay? Trying to focus on the statistics and the fact that one loss does not mean another one is destined to occur.

[lindsay]

teachermomtobe and wineoclock FX for both of you!

How far along are you? 7w1d

Any questions, worries, concerns? Nausea was less today (which is awesome) BUT then thoughts creeped in my head that maybe something happened to one or both babes.

Upcoming appts? Next Friday 10/21

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay?
Reminding myself that hearing a heartbeat last week is a GOOD thing. And that overall I have a lot of symptoms going on.

[cheezee]

How far along are you? 5 weeks

Any questions, worries, concerns? I have a history of a blighted ovum before DD. It was hell and the biggest roller coaster ever. I'm staying hopeful because with this pregnancy and DD my betas were good...with the loss they were all over the place. I still feel like this isn't real sometimes and I probably will continue to feel that way until I see a good heartbeat on sono.

Upcoming appts? Sono in one week at 6 weeks. Nervous that it will still be too soon to see a heartbeat.

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay? Still peeing on sticks every day. Maybe tomorrow I'll stop. Maybe.

[Cythe]

I love all these checkins because I love love love and answering the question "how many weeks are you?"

How far along are you? 7 weeks, 2 days

Any questions, worries, concerns? Not really, just lack of symptoms which makes me uneasy but I know it has 0 to do with what's going on in there.

Upcoming appointments? Monday!! I'm so excited!

QOTW: just trying to remember that everything is a crap shoot. What I mean is: just like IF and IF testing/treatments it's all unknown. Things that are supposed to work, don't and things that aren't supposed to happen do. I have no way to tell what's going on inside so I'm trying to have faith that everything is fine and that today I'm pregnant. I've never been pregnant so, this is awesome.

[cateyes]

How far along are you? 5w6d

Any questions, worries, concerns? So anxious ALL THE TIME. I feel like I think about and worry about this baby 24/7 and it is starting to invade my dreams too. I thought having a first US and seeing something would have helped but all my anxieties have switched from "where did it implant" and "is there something there" to "will the heart start beating". I am giving myself anxiety about the upcoming anxiety I will probably have as well. And then I get mad at myself because I am a trained therapist and "should now how to deal with anxiety" but just can't seem to do it

Upcoming Appt? This week on Wednesday we are hoping to hear the heart beat (I will be 6w3d)

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay? Going through logic-betas (although on the low side) continue to rise like they are supposed to, tests are getting darker, no weird pains, good US last week, it only half helps.

[ihatepizza]

Oct 15, 2016 7:44:44 GMT -5 cateyes said:

How far along are you? 5w6d

Any questions, worries, concerns? So anxious ALL THE TIME. I feel like I think about and worry about this baby 24/7 and it is starting to invade my dreams too. I thought having a first US and seeing something would have helped but all my anxieties have switched from "where did it implant" and "is there something there" to "will the heart start beating". I am giving myself anxiety about the upcoming anxiety I will probably have as well. And then I get mad at myself because I am a trained therapist and "should now how to deal with anxiety" but just can't seem to do it

Upcoming Appt? This week on Wednesday we are hoping to hear the heart beat (I will be 6w3d)

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay? Going through logic-betas (although on the low side) continue to rise like they are supposed to, tests are getting darker, no weird pains, good US last week, it only half helps.

I could have written this myself (minus the fact that I haven't had a scan yet). Helping people manage their stress and anxiety is part of my job and I've used every tool I have to calm myself down (it works for about 5 ish hours and then I go back to the anxiety). You are not alone, especially with the horrible dreams.

[ihatepizza]

Thanks for starting @ teachermomtobe, this was a fantastic idea .


How far along are you? 7 weeks, 2 days

Any questions, worries, concerns? I think I constantly have worries, especially about the stretchy, pully, muscle pains I keep having. My research tells me it's my ute doing ute things (I have a lot of scar tissue in there), but it send my anxiety spiriling.

Upcoming appts? I have on next Tuesday, it's 7 hours away at our RE clinic. I wish I could be excited about it but right now all I feel is dread (where I learned something was wrong last time)

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay?

I have the circle and bloom meditations that I use all the time , I've also been keeping a list on my phone of all the reasons this will work (instead of google), I found a good triggerless show on Netflix (forensic files- weird I know but it works), I've also worked VERY hard not to inspect the TP after I wipe (and remind myself that I'm prometrium and with this being an IVF baby if I have spotting it will most likely be normal)


Wow, sorry about the novel, I guess I have more feelings than I thought. I would add a mean girls gif if my phone wasn't smashed to pieces.

[ihatepizza]

Oct 14, 2016 16:43:41 GMT -5 teachermomtobe said:

How far along are you? 5w1d

Any questions, worries, concerns? I'm obsessively worrying this could be ectopic. I don't have pain but some random "awareness" on my right side. I also occasionally get it on my left which I try to remind myself is then probably not ectopic. It's actually usually right where my appendectomy scar is that is only 7 months old and bothers me on and off long before this BFP, another way I try to convince myself it's fine. I'm just very nervous for our 1st ultrasound next week. Once I know it's not ectopic I will relax a bit...maybe

Upcoming appts? Ultrasound next Wednesday

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay? Trying to remind myself that this is the most pregnant I have ever been. And also trying to not think about every random ache or twinge.

My entire abdomin is riddled with scar tissue (internal and exernal) from all the surgeries that I needed to save my life. I'm very aware of tugging/ pulling/ stretching and just weird sensations that would point to my scar tissue stretching. Like you I also feel like I'm probably more hyper aware of it because I'm pregnant.

[teachermomtobe]

wineoclock, will your doctor order a blood test to help put your mind at ease?
cheezee I have an ultrasound at 5w6d and I'm also concerned I won't hear a heartbeat since it may still be too early. I am trying to tell myself the purpose of the ultrasound is to check implantation placement and not to look for a heartbeat so that hopefully I won't freak out if we don't find one.
ihatepizza, I hate how IF and loss has taken the joy away from the things that are supposed to bring us joy like ultrasounds. Thanks for trying to ease my crazy mind about the scar tissue.

I wish I could just be blissfully ignorant about all the bad things that can happen like so many pregnant women are.

[leloyd]

How far along are you? 7w3d

Any questions, worries, concerns? I feel like I have been a big ball of anxiety this whole pregnancy. After a stomach bug last week I freaked out. My Dr was nice enough to let me come in for a quick u/s so that helps but he said, and I already know, we are aren't out of the woods yet.

Upcoming appts? Not until 11/10

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay? I am just trying to stay as busy as possible. I know it will get better in another week or two when I can break out the home Doppler. I will be much less anxious once we get past the NT scan and leave the first trimester behind.

[punkybrewster]

How far along are you? 4w6d

Any questions, worries, concerns? I never thought about how worried I would be once I actually did get pregnant. I am so nervous and time just seems to be dragging. I am trying my best to stay positive though.

Upcoming appts? Last beta draw on Thursday, first ultrasound 10/31

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay? Just trying to think good thoughts, and remember that we have made it this far, which is something I never even thought possible. I also have been doing acupuncture since February when we started treatments, and I will continue to do that throughout the first trimester at least. I'm really not sure if the science behind it is accurate, but it makes me feel like I am at least doing something to try to help things.

ETA more info.

[lotsoflotts]

How far along are you? 6w4d

Any questions, worries, concerns? There's a part of my brain that is firmly convinced that this pregnancy won't stick. Never mind the fact that I've felt far more sick and tired this time around than with my last pregnancy... I don't have any breast tenderness so far, maybe because I only just recently weaned.

Upcoming appts? Yeah, this is the flammable part. I haven't made any appointments yet. With my last pregnancy, I was obsessive about getting all the information available (nothing wrong with that!) but it fed my anxiety in a way that I don't want to repeat. So I knew this time I wouldn't want early lab tests done. But I'm also in the process of changing care, and I haven't settled on someone new yet. I'll probably end up going to see my old OB in the next week or so for a ultrasound to make sure it's not ectopic, but that's still a hard call for me because it's expensive and I know I don't want to stick with them for this pregnancy. So basically, a long-winded way of saying that I've stuck my head in the sand.

QOTW: How are you currently trying to keep your worries at bay? By ignoring them mainly. And by reminding myself that clearly my hormones are going crazy, because I constantly want to puke and typically that's a good sign.

[MrsEmuTavi]

Would anyone be offended if I wanted to join in here? I've had my rainbow BUT I recently found out there is a genetic link to what happened with my 1st.

[ihatepizza]

Oct 17, 2016 15:37:07 GMT -5 MrsEmuTavi said:

Would anyone be offended if I wanted to join in here? I've had my rainbow BUT I recently found out there is a genetic link to what happened with my 1st.

I welcome you to join, feelings, anxieties and worries are there even after you get your rainbow

[teachermomtobe]

Oct 17, 2016 16:30:41 GMT -5 ihatepizza said:

Oct 17, 2016 15:37:07 GMT -5 MrsEmuTavi said:

Would anyone be offended if I wanted to join in here? I've had my rainbow BUT I recently found out there is a genetic link to what happened with my 1st.

I welcome you to join, feelings, anxieties and worries are there even after you get your rainbow

This. If you feel you belong here then you belong here.

[wineoclock]

Oct 15, 2016 11:51:46 GMT -5 teachermomtobe said:

wineoclock, will your doctor order a blood test to help put your mind at ease?

I asked for betas on 10/10 when I called Monday morning after getting faint positives over the weekend. My doctor said there was no need but agreed to see me between 6-7 weeks which is early compared to 10 weeks which was the first they wanted to see me with my last pregnancy. Unfortunately I only made it to 9w 5 days before I miscarried.

I'm retesting tomorrow with the second clear blue easy digi with weeks estimator hoping that the weeks will go up to 2-3 weeks since ovulation but obviously this is not a fool proof plan.

I'm bargaining things to make myself feel calm and in control of this pregnancy. It's nice to have this space where people get PgAL brain.

[teachermomtobe]

I have my first ultrasound tomorrow and I'm very nervous! DH is able to go with me and I took the whole day off from work so I am just hoping everything goes well. I'm hoping the morning sickness that seems to be getting worse every morning is a good sign.

[ihatepizza]

teachermomtobe goodluck tomorrow !! I was a basket case for mine today but everyone was amazing in the RE's office. Sending you positive vibes for tomorrow

[cateyes]

Oct 18, 2016 16:33:28 GMT -5 teachermomtobe said:

I have my first ultrasound tomorrow and I'm very nervous! DH is able to go with me and I took the whole day off from work so I am just hoping everything goes well. I'm hoping the morning sickness that seems to be getting worse every morning is a good sign.

We are Twins!!! Good luck tomorrow!! What time is yours at?

[cheezee]

Oct 18, 2016 20:13:45 GMT -5 cateyes said:

Oct 18, 2016 16:33:28 GMT -5 teachermomtobe said:

I have my first ultrasound tomorrow and I'm very nervous! DH is able to go with me and I took the whole day off from work so I am just hoping everything goes well. I'm hoping the morning sickness that seems to be getting worse every morning is a good sign.

We are Twins!!! Good luck tomorrow!! What time is yours at?

Everything crossed for you both tomorrow!  I'll be stalking for updates! 

[teachermomtobe]

Oct 18, 2016 20:13:45 GMT -5 cateyes said:

Oct 18, 2016 16:33:28 GMT -5 teachermomtobe said:

I have my first ultrasound tomorrow and I'm very nervous! DH is able to go with me and I took the whole day off from work so I am just hoping everything goes well. I'm hoping the morning sickness that seems to be getting worse every morning is a good sign.

We are Twins!!! Good luck tomorrow!! What time is yours at?

10:30 Eastern. You? GL!!

[cateyes]

Oct 18, 2016 21:09:19 GMT -5 teachermomtobe said:

Oct 18, 2016 20:13:45 GMT -5 cateyes said:

We are Twins!!! Good luck tomorrow!! What time is yours at?

10:30 Eastern. You? GL!!

1:30 CST. It feels forever away!!!

[ihatepizza]

Goodluck cateyes thinking of you and sending you good vibes

[cateyes]

Oct 19, 2016 12:24:53 GMT -5 ihatepizza said:

Goodluck cateyes thinking of you and sending you good vibes

Thanks!!! Driving there now and I am super nervous and anxious and excited! I feel like I might puke, not sure if it is nerves or morning sickness…

[teachermomtobe]

Thinking of you cateyes! I felt the same way this morning!

My ultrasound today was good! I was paranoid it was ectopic for some reason and as soon as I saw it in my uterus I was relieved. All looked good, we saw the gestational sac, fetal pole, and flicker of a heartbeat. They couldn't get much of a heartbeat measurement because I'm only 5w6d but my RE wasn't concerned by that. We got 3 pictures and go back Nov 4th for another ultrasound and hopefully to be released to a regular OB.