If I could have anyone stay it would be my oldest brother. He's 11 years older than me and he's great with kids. DS loves him and he would actually cook and help with laundry.
I may ask him to stay with DS while I'm having this baby. I wish I had a big house because I'd ask him and my dad for help. Unfortunately my dad can't hold babies until they're a year old. :/
Post by ladytiffany24 on Oct 19, 2016 13:53:50 GMT -5
See, my MIL never gives us space. She's always up in our grill whenever she's at our house. And she's one of those obnoxious people who's always in my face going, "can I help with that?" or "what can I do to help?" I realize I sound ungrateful but really, if I needed your help with something, I'd ask. She's also the type of person to offer unwanted advice, like, "maybe if you didn't swaddle her and just rocked her she'd fall asleep easier." Ummm no.
See, my MIL never gives us space. She's always up in our grill whenever she's at our house. And she's one of those obnoxious people who's always in my face going, "can I help with that?" or "what can I do to help?" I realize I sound ungrateful but really, if I needed your help with something, I'd ask. She's also the type of person to offer unwanted advice, like, "maybe if you didn't swaddle her and just rocked her she'd fall asleep easier." Ummm no.
OMG. I know what you mean because that kind of stuff gets under my skin too.
Post by erinshelley21 on Oct 19, 2016 14:20:25 GMT -5
This is all making me very thankful for my mom and my MIL. My mom basically lived with us for the entire month of December after DS was born. She initially planned on staying for about a week and only lives 45 minutes away. DS had to go back in a week after he was born for jaundice, then she went home a couple days after that. She had to come back up and stay another week because I had a pilonidal cyst that had abscessed and I couldn't sit and it was hard to get off the couch and DH was back at work then. Plus it was nice having her there when I passed out and DH had to take me to the emergency room to deal with the cyst. MIL lives 4 minutes away but watches the other grandkids so she couldn't do much for us. She's going to be a life saver when this one is born since she'll be keeping DS while we are in the hospital.
My MIL is actually pretty normal, well nice I should say. I just feel bad asking her for help because she's already caring for her very elderly mother. She WILL help if I ask, she's just has so much on her plate.
I'm similar to you erinshelley21. I had someone with me for the first month - either my MIL or mom, sometimes both - and I was sooooo grateful for the help. But then DS was colicky and they are both super chill, sweet people. So I do think it depends on the circumstances.
ugaqueencity I am so jealous you are in an area where you can have PFC delivered....
When we moved here we had one weekend to find a house and I wasn't familiar with what the good areas of town were so I used Grubhub to help narrow down our list of houses. I figured if a house didn't have good delivery options it wasn't really in a fun area. Our realtor thought I was crazy but it's worked out really well for us!
Post by moutonrouge on Oct 19, 2016 15:11:38 GMT -5
I will be happy to have my mom come stay; she lives a long flight away, so she would be here for a longer visit. But she can't leave her job for that long.
I suspect MIL and FIL will drive out with the whole fam-damily and not stay long. MIL and I get along fine; I find her exhausting because she never shuts up. She's not talking about anything too crazy but she will not stop. Once we exhaust her medical issues then we move on into various other family member's medical issues, which is when I start avoiding being alone with her.
My stepmom and dad...they live somewhat close (esp. compared to ILs and my mom), but I've not gotten the impression they are very interested in baby. I told them in July and literally haven't heard from them since. I have felt like they don't really care about my life for a little over a year now, and this kind of hammers it home. If they come down it will have to be coordinated to avoid my mom because she stopped pretending to be nice to them several years ago. I'm anticipating that will be stressful.
Add me to the club of want some space after the baby comes. I'd actually love to have some help, but we don't have anyone very helpful in our lives. Between my mom, MIL, FIL...they are usually more needy than helpful so having them around is exhausting. I'll need my mom's help to watch DS when the baby is born, but I probably can't handle more than a week of her.
Well now I need a cheeseball. Or pimento cheese. Hmmm.
Oh man, pimento cheese sounds so good right now.
I've never eaten a cheeseball, but whenever I see them on Tasty I want to make one. They had one awhile back that was peanut butter and Reeses though, which made me gag a little...I love me some PB, but cannot handle a whole ball o' sweet.
Post by daisylola11 on Oct 19, 2016 16:10:36 GMT -5
I asked for no visitors at the hospital, my mom and sister were there for support and then my brother and dad came to pick them up and met the baby and left. I had visitors come to my house when I was ready and they only stayed for a couple hours. I didn't mind going to another room to nurse since it was quiet and I could whip out the boob no problem.
Am thinking this go around I still don't want visitors at the hospital but will end up w at least my sister and mom there while DS visits and to take a few family pictures. I don't mind my family since it's just the 4, all others are in Mexico and no kids between my siblings. My H has 6 siblings plus aunts/uncles/ grandparents and like 10 nieces and nephews who can visit later on.
I feel all of you on the unhelpful/pushy MILs. With DS she got really pissy when we had my Mom help us the first two weeks DS was born. I am sure something similar will transpire this time.
DH is gone on a work trip for 10 days in a few weeks. MIL offered to come stay and help weeks ago. Yesterday she told me she was coming for the two days before DH gets home...days where I have a teacher workday and a work from home day. Not. Helpful.
Post by daisylola11 on Oct 19, 2016 16:12:29 GMT -5
Oh I also don't care for MIL, she was nice until I had DS then it was crap.
She somehow thought it would be ok for her and her husband to visit while I was in labor!! They just walked in, sat down to chat like it was a coffee shop... they were lucky I had to concentrate on the pain or I would have ripped her a new one.
Post by daisylola11 on Oct 19, 2016 16:14:17 GMT -5
Was able to take my friend, who's surprise baby shower is on Sunday, to find an outfit! And we did! So relieved since she thinks it's not until nov haha
Post by ladytiffany24 on Oct 19, 2016 16:41:24 GMT -5
Have I told you guys yet that I'm a diehard Cleveland sports fan?! And that this Indians' playoff run has me more excited than I can put into words?! After the Cavs' championship earlier this year, I didn't think I could handle anymore excitement!
I'm kind of on both sides of the fence with the new baby family stays. My family lives across the country so my mom stayed 10 days after DD was born and I feel like I couldn't have done it without her. Dad and my siblings came for a weekend which was so nice. They all stayed with us and they would get up with DD at 5am so I could get a few hours of sleep. It was so nice. I cried when mom left. This time I think she might come for about that long to help with the toddler too and maybe stay with her while I'm in the hospital if the timing works out. My in-laws are all local which is good and bad. I wouldn't last 1 day with them staying at my house so it's nice that they don't have to stay. But last time they definitely dropped in after a long bike ride with their friends. We knew they were coming (but they were an hour late so I had to nurse while they were there which was a real struggle for me) and they brought their friends without mentioning it to us ahead of time. I freaked out on DH about it afterwards and he definitely mentioned that it wasn't ok. Hasn't happened since at least 😬 It's hard too bc MIL watches DD once a week and DD adores her. But she insists on bringing her dog and not doing things the way I prefer. I know I should just be grateful but sometimes it's hard. She's a nice lady but very overbearing and opinionated.
I can understand that ladytiffany24. I love my MIL and she can be a ton of fun but we are veryveryvery different people. She can also be pretty passive aggressive so I feel you.
Hopefully she can be kept out of your hair as much as possible for the visit!
Have I told you guys yet that I'm a diehard Cleveland sports fan?! And that this Indians' playoff run has me more excited than I can put into words?! After the Cavs' championship earlier this year, I didn't think I could handle anymore excitement!
Nothing too exciting about the Jays completely shitting the bed!
Have I told you guys yet that I'm a diehard Cleveland sports fan?! And that this Indians' playoff run has me more excited than I can put into words?! After the Cavs' championship earlier this year, I didn't think I could handle anymore excitement!
Nothing too exciting about the Jays completely shitting the bed!
I have much disappoint.
I'm so sorry. But I have much very opposite of disappoint!
I asked for no visitors at the hospital, my mom and sister were there for support and then my brother and dad came to pick them up and met the baby and left. I had visitors come to my house when I was ready and they only stayed for a couple hours. I didn't mind going to another room to nurse since it was quiet and I could whip out the boob no problem.
Am thinking this go around I still don't want visitors at the hospital but will end up w at least my sister and mom there while DS visits and to take a few family pictures. I don't mind my family since it's just the 4, all others are in Mexico and no kids between my siblings. My H has 6 siblings plus aunts/uncles/ grandparents and like 10 nieces and nephews who can visit later on.
Wow getting all the feels ya'll...
I did this last time and I'm going to do it again. It was nice to have time for us to spend time with the DS alone. Plus, I looked like a train ran over me.
I asked for no visitors at the hospital, my mom and sister were there for support and then my brother and dad came to pick them up and met the baby and left. I had visitors come to my house when I was ready and they only stayed for a couple hours. I didn't mind going to another room to nurse since it was quiet and I could whip out the boob no problem.
Am thinking this go around I still don't want visitors at the hospital but will end up w at least my sister and mom there while DS visits and to take a few family pictures. I don't mind my family since it's just the 4, all others are in Mexico and no kids between my siblings. My H has 6 siblings plus aunts/uncles/ grandparents and like 10 nieces and nephews who can visit later on.
Wow getting all the feels ya'll...
I did this last time and I'm going to do it again. It was nice to have time for us to spend time with the DS alone. Plus, I looked like a train ran over me.
Seriously! I was not fit for visitors haha plus nurses come check you and ur naked and you're trying to nurse and it's all so glamorous. I was there for a total of 4 days, 2 in labor and 2 for recovery so I appreciated ppl not giving me a hard time about not being able to come visit at the hospital
I can't decide who to quote but I know I saw it mentioned a couple times..while the ILs were here when DD was a newborn, they were great about insisting I could nurse anywhere I wanted (which was surprising, and I did appreciate it, b/c they're very conservative typically), but I took every chance I could to escape w/ DD to my room where I could shut the door, turn the tv on and sit for 20 mins!
I woke up to find I won a Kiinde feeding system from Mommycon IG giveaway! Not sure if I'll use it but score!
I am heading with my neighbor to an outlet mall to shop this morning. I am going to try and restrain myself, but hope to buy at least an outfit or two for baby boy!
Also on the list is The Christmas Tree Shop. Wooohoo!
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