Anyone up for wedding talk?

[helenahhandbasket]

The small intimate gathering on the beach I had in my head has exploded into a monster.

We are booking our wedding on Saturday. We chose a beach venue, but the wedding will be "off season" (a Friday night in March 2018) so we got a lower price pp than a Saturday peak night. We will probably have to have an indoor ceremony on site unless the weather is unseasonably warm, which is fine with me.

The wedding coordinator is coincidently a childhood friend of my stepmother's (we figured this out after the fact). They are in touch via Facebook.

The venue is really pretty but truth be told I chose it because they offered an all inclusive package- sit down dinner, open bar, photography, cake, floral centerpieces, flowers for me and the maids, DJ and invitations for one price and we can invite up to 150 people. And because the coordinator is a long time friend of SM, she told me she'd throw in a bunch of extras- cool lighting, which I don't care about really and extra dessert which I do care about- haha. The only vendor I have to source myself is transportation.

So here's what I need help with:

My dress. There's so much out there, I don't know where to begin. Do I go to a bridal salon and start trying on? I don't want to spend a ton, but I think I need something more formal than I was originally picturing.

Bridesmaid /MOH attire. Like, what is the easiest thing here? I have no intention of doing a group shopping trip- we are all busy moms, and one lives in Miami. I figured I will pick a color and let them choose the dress. My MOH said she wants to wear gold which is fine with me. Green and gold? Navy and gold?

Men's attire. He is not a tux kind of a guy, but we want to keep costs down for the GM (we don't want anyone to have to buy a matching suit). Is renting a tux the best/ easiest/ cheapest option.

Any other things you either did at your wedding that you would recommend or anything you have see at a recent wedding that stuck out for you?

I eloped the first time around and never really had any interest in wedding planning so talk to me like it's my first day on earth.

Also let me know if the wedding talk is totally boring, pls and thank you.

[helenahhandbasket]

Omg that was TL;DR

I am booking my wedding, help me find a pretty dress.

[Deleted]

I don't go here, but my favorite color is blue so I vote navy and gold. I like suits for a beach wedding. See if the tux shop will rent suits if not rent tuxes. Yes go to a bridal salon and try on.

NYC ideas- Filene's basement is out of business but doing the bridal sale online, at least last year is what they did nypost.com/2015/09/18/filenes-basement-is-back-but-without-running-of-the-brides/.

Kleinfelds or other bridal places in the garment district- traditional bridal helper/ pick out dress person. Don't feel you have to buy right away. They can write down all your info and choices, and you can call back to order. Pricier option

J Crew dresses- less expensive and can get by mail. Return to the store so you don't have to pay shipping back. Prices probably have gone up but around $200-$5000. Other stores like this have wedding dresses if you aren't feeling the traditional bridal store vibe.

Avoid- David's Bridal. If you have to order there, double check their info. When I was a bridesmaid they had tons of errors. Also, avoid their alterations department. Go to your regular tailor or seek a specialty alteration recommendation from a department store like Macy's alterations referred me.

[helenahhandbasket]

Thanks @clarypax

I have been to Kleinfeld's once about 7ish years ago, when one of my girlfriends was getting married, they totally rushed her through the appointment so I'm turned off to them.

Also I have heard that about David's bridal with alterations before, and I just hate the way that place is set up.

I do like the Jcrew bridal gowns but I think the last time I looked most of them were hovering around the 2000 mark. The bridesmaid dresses are pretty but a bit pricey IMO.

BUT I do have a friend that works for Jcrew corporate so maybe he will be willing to swap fashion discounts with me. I do think the Jcrew on 5th avenue has a bridal salon in store. Thank for the reminder about them!

[Deleted]

I would let them pick out their own navy or green dress. Don't bother saying oh you have to order this dress from JCrew. That's just me doing the least though because it was a pain for me, and you can't make everyone happy. They could find a navy off rack dress for $40-$60 easy. I don't care if the dye matches perfectly. 

There are lots of other bridal stores in the Garment district, but they have weird hours and some require appointments. I went to one that was similar to Kleinfeld (smaller), and they were nice there, but I can;t remember the name and it was a while ago, so they may not be there anymore.

www.realsimple.com/weddings/dress-attire/inexpensive-wedding-dresses

Dillards, Nordstrom and Bloomingdales are listed as selling wedding dresses too. Bloomies obviously is $$$$$. Could find sales at the other places.

[helenahhandbasket]

Thanks @pennygirl2013!

TBH I don't really care what the guys wear but the venue is very formal, so I think they need at least suits. I will have to do some research here.

I think I'm going to hire a makeup artist and hair stylist to come do our hair/ makeup the day of, my treat. Of course if one or more of the BMs wants to do their hair themselves or use their own stylist that's fine too.

I love the candy bar thing, I've seen that at a few parties and I always get a kick out of it!

[namastebiotches]

I don't have much help.
We had the lowest key wedding ever.
Actually, Dh & I got married alone & then had a second ceremony 8 days later with family. Only about 13 guests so my experience is most likely completely different. Lol
But congrats again! Must be so exciting!

[Deleted]

Yay! My thoughts:
-start trying on dresses at a bridal salon. Tell them whatever you can about what you're looking for, even if it's not much. If you're totally unsure, David's Bridal is a good place to start because you can try on lots of different dress styles. No pressure to buy, ever. It's a big decision!
-I like navy and gold too. Navy is hard to mess up dyes, no? Like nothing will clash if the girls get their own dresses.
-suits for the guys. We rented ours from Men's Wearhouse.

All inclusive venue is what we did and it was awesome! We've enjoyed photo booths at weddings lately. It's a more controlled way to get candid pics of your guests.

[Deleted]

+1000 on avoiding David's Bridal for alterations!!!! they fucked up my dress!!!! I also like the navy and gold idea. For my bridesmaids I picked the color and they each got a dress with it except different styles to most flatter their body type. My venue also had the food & cake included. Your venue sounds great! I'd just check out the photographers work to make sure it is what you are looking for. DH's groomsmen rented tuxes and there was a discount if you also rented the groom's there. I agree just go to a bridal shop and start trying on dresses!

Sorry so jumbled I'm on mobile!

[Deleted]

Just a thought about the same color dresses different styles..... I made sure they were each made by the same designer and we're all available in the same color so there was no difference color wise if that makes sense. Bridal shops should also have catalogs of what colors are available in the BM dresses. Some styles weren't available in the same color.

[Deleted]

And congrats!

[helenahhandbasket]

Oct 20, 2016 16:00:33 GMT -5 @rizzo said:

Just a thought about the same color dresses different styles..... I made sure they were each made by the same designer and we're all available in the same color so there was no difference color wise if that makes sense. Bridal shops should also have catalogs of what colors are available in the BM dresses. Some styles weren't available in the same color.

That totally makes sense, thank you!

[helenahhandbasket]

Oct 20, 2016 15:57:32 GMT -5 @rizzo said:

+1000 on avoiding David's Bridal for alterations!!!! they fucked up my dress!!!! I also like the navy and gold idea. For my bridesmaids I picked the color and they each got a dress with it except different styles to most flatter their body type. My venue also had the food & cake included. Your venue sounds great! I'd just check out the photographers work to make sure it is what you are looking for. DH's groomsmen rented tuxes and there was a discount if you also rented the groom's there. I agree just go to a bridal shop and start trying on dresses!

Sorry so jumbled I'm on mobile!

And thanks, I get to choose between 2 photogs. The photography isn't what I would call "high end lifestyle photography", but the portfolios I looked at has some really nice shots - both classic poses and some more contemporary and you can't go wrong with the scenery.

[Deleted]

Oct 20, 2016 16:31:33 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

Oct 20, 2016 15:57:32 GMT -5 @rizzo said:

+1000 on avoiding David's Bridal for alterations!!!! they fucked up my dress!!!! I also like the navy and gold idea. For my bridesmaids I picked the color and they each got a dress with it except different styles to most flatter their body type. My venue also had the food & cake included. Your venue sounds great! I'd just check out the photographers work to make sure it is what you are looking for. DH's groomsmen rented tuxes and there was a discount if you also rented the groom's there. I agree just go to a bridal shop and start trying on dresses!

Sorry so jumbled I'm on mobile!

And thanks, I get to choose between 2 photogs. The photography isn't what I would call "high end lifestyle photography", but the portfolios I looked at has some really nice shots - both classic poses and some more contemporary and you can't go wrong with the scenery.

Sounds great! I would maybe make a list of key shots that you want (mostly if you want pictures with specific special people) Somehow there is not one picture of just me and my MIL together and I was so upset 😥

[helenahhandbasket]

Oct 20, 2016 17:17:55 GMT -5 lildis said:

I saw this and thought helenahhandbasket,is on fire!

Omg

[helenahhandbasket]

Oct 20, 2016 17:25:31 GMT -5 lildis said:

This is cute, I think I like short better personally but I think it's best to let them pick their own. I'm not bothered by mismatched hemlines.

[ECB]

A few thoughts on the wedding party:

First, do you want everyone to truly match?  As in color?  If you do, I think what everyone above said is spot on - pick a color and a line of dresses and then let them pick their own style. 

I went to a wedding years ago where the BMs picked their own navy, floor length gowns.  There were differentiation in the color.  AND then there was the fabric! They all had different fabrics.

Now, big picture, being 14 years past my own wedding - I almost find it refreshing when a bride clearly doesn't get caught up in the overly "matchy matchiness" of their wedding party, even color and style.  I don't know where these traditions started and to a degree, I wonder "why".  Why do we need everyone to look the same?

BUT as I say that, there truly is NO judgment when the BMs match (at least in color if not in style).  It IS the norm and... so be it.  I don't judge any bride who desires to have their BP match.

My only point is just figure out what YOU want, what makes YOU comfortable.  If you really do want there to be some cohesiveness, pick a designer line and color. 

second, the men.  check w/ the rental places and see if they rent suits.  I think they probably do.  And if they don't, the guys could still be in technical tuxedo's but you can put them in regular ties and no vest to take away from the "tuxedo" look.  Honestly, the only thing that ever says "tuxedo" to me is the bow tie and vest and if I really look - the stripe down the side of the pants. 

[skategirl128]

I haven't been married so I have no real advice. My sister just did a beach wedding though and it was gorgeous! Such pretty pictures were taken on the beach. There's was a truly informal ceremony though.

[helenahhandbasket]

Thanks ECB

I think I will probably go the route of picking the color and the designer, since the BP is fairly small. I do like the look of mismatched shades and fabrics in a larger BP though.

I never thought to look into rented suits, but that might be just what we will do!

[helenahhandbasket]

Oct 21, 2016 9:42:27 GMT -5 skategirl128 said:

I haven't been married so I have no real advice. My sister just did a beach wedding though and it was gorgeous! Such pretty pictures were taken on the beach. There's was a truly informal ceremony though.

I admit I totally checked out your pics, they truly were beautiful.

[Deleted]

Oct 21, 2016 9:43:52 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

Thanks ECB

I think I will probably go the route of picking the color and the designer, since the BP is fairly small. I do like the look of mismatched shades and fabrics in a larger BP though.

I never thought to look into rented suits, but that might be just what we will do!

Yes I think the mismatching dresses looks way better when there's lots of bridesmaids. For some reason.

I was just a bridesmaid in a small party (3 of us plus bride). We ended up finding a dress that flattered all of us, and had them hemmed to our kneeline. We each had updos though they were not the same. Different shoes and earrings and matching necklaces. I thought we looked nice, haha.

[helenahhandbasket]

Hey @yellowwallpaper12! How was your trip??

I found a pic of a dress I love but it's a southern designer and her stuff isn't in any NY boutiques.

Here is the dress I love

[helenahhandbasket]

I have an appointment to try on dresses next week.

This is what I was thinking in terms of green and gold. The wedding is a day before st. Paddy's so it popped into my head right away. I'm not Irish at all but SO is 100%

[Deleted]

With the date and cultural background references green and gold makes total sense now. With only the beach thing, I'd prefer navy over green.

Enjoy your dresses appointment!

I don't have much input to offer. Our wedding was small, no bridal party in matching attire and I did not care for a white dress so I got a sea green gala/prom gown at a vintage/second hand shop. So I won't be much help in the planning department, but am here to cheer for you as you make your choices.

[Deleted]

Oct 31, 2016 8:52:31 GMT -5 helenahhandbasket said:

I have an appointment to try on dresses next week.

This is what I was thinking in terms of green and gold. The wedding is a day before st. Paddy's so it popped into my head right away. I'm not Irish at all but SO is 100%

Ok, that's gorgeous.

One thing I will say about falling in love with a dress you see online or in a magazine - keep an open mind once you try the dresses on. My BFF was head over heals for a dress that just did not flatter her once she tried it on. It took her several days and multiple times trying it on for her to let it go. She ended up in a silhouette she never thought she'd like, but was so beautiful on her, and the dress was even more amazing and looked like it was made for her.