Pregnant After Loss / Pregnant After Infertility (PGAL/PAIF) check-in is posted once a week (generally on a Monday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss or a history of infertility and are now pregnant. Anyone who participates may start the thread each week.
Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning or spoiler if you decide to talk about any living children.
My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c.
Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!
Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot jinx your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!
There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive"
How far along are you?
How are you doing Physically/Emotionally?
Any upcoming appointments or tests?
Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves:
GTKY: In honor of Halloween, what is your favorite kind of candy?
How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Ok. Physically, I'm almost back to normal. Most days I feel pretty good emotionally but I have my moments.
Any upcoming appointments or tests? I heard today that our bloodwork for neural tube defects came back normal. A/S is scheduled for 3 weeks.
Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: When I was about 6 weeks pregnant with our loss, DH and I took a trip for his 40th birthday. We bought a cute little baby book while we were there. It's the only thing we bought for that baby. I pulled it out today and decided to use it for this LO. I was on the fence but I feel like it will be a little connection to that baby as well and that makes me happy.
GTKY: In honor of Halloween, what is your favorite kind of candy? Peanut butter cups and sour patch kids!
(((Hugs))) madameovary. Those stories have been hard for me, too. That's awesome your H picked out a dress.
Why do I read them?? I know I'm due toward the end of the month so I hope we all have great scans in the coming weeks .
Every time I opened one of those articles, I silently yelled at myself. I knew it would make me anxious but I couldn't stop. So many sad stories and brave women out there. I'm hoping for happy, easy scans for us all as well.
How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Physically I feel fine. Emotionally I'm mostly good, but still the fear of loss hasn't completely gone away.
Any upcoming appointments or tests? I have my official A/S on November 16. I'm hoping it goes just as beautifully as the 16 week, with no surprises.
Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: Today a student said "I thought you were pregnant for a second, it looked like you had a bump!" I just smiled and changed the subject- I was wearing a loose scarf and cardigan but you could definitely see my little bump through the dress I was wearing underneath. I'm going to wear this on Monday (Halloween)
which is terrifying, but at some point I have to come out in the open with it and it's getting harder to hide the bump. I won't tell my little students, but high school kids will figure it out. Eventually everyone will know, but I'm not making a grand announcement.
GTKY: In honor of Halloween, what is your favorite kind of candy? Snickers or Reese's!
caer I'm using the crib, stroller and car seat we bought for our first pregnancy. We also have a chest of little things (a quilt, some toys, etc) and while it used to make me sad looking at that stuff now it makes me happy. I'm glad it will be "passed on" to this baby.
caer I'm using the crib, stroller and car seat we bought for our first pregnancy. We also have a chest of little things (a quilt, some toys, etc) and while it used to make me sad looking at that stuff now it makes me happy. I'm glad it will be "passed on" to this baby.
caer also I can't believe we have A/S on the same exact day! We also have the same EDD (well, according to my ovulation date. Doc is going off of my LMP). Hoping we both get great updates! Do you know what you're having yet?
caer also I can't believe we have A/S on the same exact day! We also have the same EDD (well, according to my ovulation date. Doc is going off of my LMP). Hoping we both get great updates! Do you know what you're having yet?
Yes, we're team blue as well. Hoping for easy and happy scans for both of us!
mosdub Cute shirt! Your students will be so excited!
How far along are you? 18w4d
How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? I'm still dealing with the sciatic issues, but overall I'm doing pretty well. A good A/S scan and feeling more movement has been reassuring.
Any upcoming appointments or tests? No appointments for a few weeks.
Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I keep worrying about UTIs and yeast infections. TMI but the yuck of swamp crotch is just awful.
GTKY: In honor of Halloween, what is your favorite kind of candy? Kit kat, twix, snickers...almost all the chocolate ones.
caer also I can't believe we have A/S on the same exact day! We also have the same EDD (well, according to my ovulation date. Doc is going off of my LMP). Hoping we both get great updates! Do you know what you're having yet?
Yes, we're team blue as well. Hoping for easy and happy scans for both of us!
Yay! Sorry I'm sure you posted but I'm having a hard time keeping the teams straight
I had a rough time today. During introductions at my prenatal yoga class one of the other moms opened up about her recent loss and how terrified she is to be pregnant again. This is exactly how I feel. I'm terrified it's twins, I'm terrified I'm going to lose another baby.
The teacher (who also owns the studio) had a recent loss as well. There were lots of tears all around and 5 hours later I'm still crying on and off again about all of it.
My H asked me if I shared what happened to us, but I told him that I didn't because I couldn't stop crying during class. I could hardly say my name and my EDD.
I need to calm myself the F down before my BP skyrockets. but I can't stop thinking about, which makes me cry. rinse and repeat.
Hi, all! mosdub I love the shirt! madameovary ((hugs)) I have been spiraling on Google tonight. Why I am googling what they look for at the a/s scan is beyond me, but sometimes knowing more helps me. Right now, not so much.
How far along are you? 18+3
Appointments? I had an OB one today. They literally did nothing other than weigh me, take my blood pressure and use the Doppler. I've lost 6 lbs., and the doctor said as long as the baby is growing appropriately, it's not an issue. But- I haven't had an U/S since 10 weeks, so how would I know if the baby is growing appropriately? I didn't like this doctor. I hope she doesn't deliver me. My anatomy scan is 11/7, and I'm suddenly very worried about it. Much like everyone else, the late term abortion stories aren't helping. I've also been drinking a lot of crystal light and didn't realize it had aspartame in it. when I asked my doctor about it, she said: "what are you going to do?" - also not helpful. (Like- hypothetically..as in, nothing you can do about it now.)
Updates: We went window shopping last week. It was exciting, and also what started this current spiral I think. Every time I take a step that makes the baby more real, I freak out after.
GTKY: I really like turtles lol. Carmel and chocolate is my thang.
glb30 I don't like your doctor either I was nervous and requested an additional ultrasound. I know your next one is only 2 weeks away but if it would help you could at least request one for your mental health/peace of mind. I didn't know aspartame was an issue and have definitely had my share of caffeine-free diet cokes, but I'm sure everything is fine.
@callmekd All the hugs, I'm so sorry for the emotional day. I'm sorry that something that was meant to be relaxing and calming ended up being emotionally taxing. I hope the next time you go is a more uplifting experience<3
skk - I'm glad you're doing well! And ugh, yes, pregnancy is so glamorous. For weeks I was convinced I was spotting but now I know it's just a fun pregnancy thing.
All the (((hugs))) callmeKD. What an emotional experience. I hope maybe there was some comfort to be found in not being alone.
TP to your doctor glb30. I hope the time flies to your ultrasound.
How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Physically I feel well. Emotionally I feel like I oscillate throughout the day/week. I'll become excited, but with my EDD for or loss coming up next week, I quickly become sad that I won't be holding a baby next month.
Any upcoming appointments or tests? A/S tomorrow afternoon!
Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: my mom totally pissed me off yesterday. She said, I'm worried that you're feeling so well. Are you sure you're still pregnant? It made me crumble emotionally. I told her it hurt for her to say it, but she doesn't get it.
GTKY: In honor of Halloween, what is your favorite kind of candy? Peanut butter m&ms!
Hi y'all I hope it is okay if I pop in here today. I am 22 weeks, and to summarize: this pregnancy used to be twins, but one of them stopped growing. Overall, I am dealing with this, but sometimes i just can't.
I suppose that my bump has really started popping out, because more and more people I don't know are asking me about my pregnancy--and people are beginning to say comments to me like "wow you're so big, haha are you sure it is not twins??"
Like haha wow such a clever comment... I know that this is just one of those inane comments that visibly pregnant people get sometimes, but HOW do I deal with this?? I am very short and this is my second pregnancy so yes my bump is pronounced but seriously. It just really hurts my heart for people to say that, and I've already heard it multiple times, and I'm sure I will hear it again. Usually I just say "no, I'm sure it's not twins" and for some reason everyone is just like LOLOL CAN U IMAGINE and LOL THANK GOD, and everyone thinks it's really fucking funny but it makes me want to cry. I am on the edge of just blurting out "well actually it used to be twins but one died" but then, i don't want to put my business out there and I don't want to make it awkward. IDK.
Thanks for letting me vent here guys.... it is a weird place to be and I don't really have anyone who I can talk to about it. Only like 2 IRL people even know this happened to me. Idk...I feel like I probably shouldn't be this sensitive to dumb comments like that but I just am.
cosmicav I'm so so so sorry. It's one of those things people say without knowing that there could be real hurt behind it. After my miscarriage I needed follow-up bloodwork for a year to make sure I didn't develop cancer and couldn't ttc during that time, but I had several people say "I know you'll get pregnant again so fast, you're really fertile after a miscarriage". I knew they were trying to be encouraging but it stung.
I agree that maybe saying something would help diffuse it - I told some people at work that I was close with and it spread around enough that no one said dumb shit to me like that anymore. Sometimes gossip is helpful in these situations.
OMG cosmicav - I'm so sorry. I think if I was pissed off enough I would probably say that it was twins but we lost one. people need to learn to filter what comes out of their mouth.
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