Valentine's is coming up...let's talk sex & the PAIF girl...

[juneroses]

So I thought, why not just jump in with my first  thread  being a TMI .  Basically, how long into your pregnancy did you abstain (if at all) before, um, "celebrating"?

i feel ridiculous because I know there is no fact behind it, but I'm kind of reluctant to get back in the game since the BFP.  The idea if being pregnant just seems so new and fragile I'm afraid anything could disrupt it.   I'm also kind of thrilled that sex is 100% by choice again after 3 years of mandatory timing...  

I feel bad having friend-zoned DH, though, and really don't intend to be sidelined for the next 10 months .   How long did you wait before jumping back in?

[IFinTN]

Oooh, wish I could join in here but I have not had sex since the BFP. First I was too scared of bleeding, then I was too sick from morning sickness, now I have an irritable uterus. So nope, not gonna happen. DH is great and says "hey, what we are doing is more important than jamming our genitals together." So while I think it's great that others get their sexy time on, I don't feel bad for one moment for me or DH that we are not.

[ProfessorChaos]

We waited until the end of the first trimester. It's possible we would have gotten friendly sooner, but I had some spotting around nine weeks, so I was put on pelvic rest briefly, then I needed to have some time to feel safe mentally.

You may find that second trimester hormones make this much more appealing than first trimester nausea. ;-)

[kmc84]

What is this 'sex' you speak of??

We waited until around 11.5 weeks. I had a small SCH at 6w4d and Crinone twice a day until 11 weeks...yuck

Then I had big bleed and massive blood clot at 14 weeks. After we were cleared around 18 weeks, we had sex a few times, but then we both kept getting sick on alternating schedules and that's just not happening.... Now I'm so uncomfortable and tired, and DH's work schedule changed we'll have sex again in the summer

[jessimi06]

Unfortunately the sex gods haven't aligned with this pregnancy. We waited until around 7/8 weeks, when we had seen the babes twice and heard their heartbeats. DH was weird about it before then, because even though he logically knew he couldn't, he was afraid of bumping or dislodging a baby. Then I had a SCH around 9 weeks and was on pelvic rest until around 12 weeks, followed by a heavy bleed and placenta previa diagnosis at 18 weeks. I've been on bed/pelvic rest since the bleed and will remain so for the remainder of the pregnancy.

I totally wish we could have sex though. We've never gone this long without, and DH is a better 'sex camel' than I am. Our babies are SO worth it though.

I say go for it whenever you guys feel comfortable!

[gsancho]

We did it once at around 14/15 weeks. Between the spotting and morning sickness, it wasn't happening. That was the last time we did it. Maybe we'll give it a go this weekend, but it hasn't been a huge priority. We get lots of cuddling and kissing in, though - does that count?

[Deleted]

We tried around week 5, I don't know if it's because I have to take the prog. suppositories 3x a day so I'm all sensitive down there, but it was so uncomfortable for me it didn't last long. I hope once that stops we can go back to having some sweet sweet lovin'.

[nutmeg8484]

First, we were told no sex for the TWW which seems normal. Then, we decided to wait until we saw a heat beat at around 7 weeks, but by that time I had horrible "morning" sickness and could barely get out of bed, never mind think about having sex. I think we had sex once around 12 weeks when I was feeling a little better, but then I came down with a horrible cold and DH came down with it a week later. so basically we just started having sex again this week (16 weeks) but if anything happens we will stop again. It's just not worth it to us.

[meatandbandp]

We waited until we saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks. We have not had any problems, it has not caused any spotting, it has always been fine.

[vballbaby]

Well to be honest, we haven't since before Christmas just before I started stimming for IVF. During stimming I was so sore and tender and really wasn't in the mood, felt like it would hurt my insides. Now that I've been on Crinone, forget it. My husband is a bit of a germ freak so he would not be into the lovely white chunks that come out from that, sorry TMI but it's true! I have to be on it another two weeks (through 8 weeks pg) and after that I'll give myself a couple days to decontaminate then I will be be ready! I guess it's the hormones but I'm definitely feeling like I want to! hehe. I haven't had any morning sickness at all and I really, really miss being intimate with my DH so I can't wait. We are very affectionate though and do a lot of a cuddling and kissing but a couple times I've been sad because it's been so long. Crazy pg hormones have made me emo about it a few times.

[lolasky]

I don't remember if we actively "waited," but I was very sick in first tri so sex was a rare event regardless (maybe once or twice? Towards the end?). My sex drive REALLY increased in second tri (not sure if it was the new big boobs or hormones or what...) so sexy time has been more common . Now as I'm moving to third tri, I'm starting to feel pretty uncomfortable with the tummy, so unsure how much sexy time we'll have now!

[doves654]

We talked to our doctor about this and she said get down with our bad selves (after the 2ww). So we've had sex a few times and so far so good. We'll see how this next ultrasound is of course.

[Deleted]

LMFAO sex? Yeah right. Not in my house. I would've been fine doing it around the 12w mark but it never happened. My sex drive is way low...i offered a few times during my pregnancy and DH wasn't "feeling good" or something. Finally i just asked him point blank: are you weirded out? The answer: yes. Yes this time just like he was when i was pregnant w DD.

Today, at 36w5d, we talked about how we can't wait to have sex again. You know, when I'm not the size of a whale and feeling sexy again (and when he isn't totally weirded out by the human i am creating).

[rella22]

Ah..so comforting to read these responses..sex has also been fairly non existent this pregnancy for us too. Occasionally it pops into my head and I feel bad about it..but honestly the drive just isn't there. I think we've done it twice this whole time???

[hbanana18]

I was on progesterone suppositories till 10ish weeks so there was no sex. Not to mention I was so sick and tired that it wouldn't have happened anyway. I finally felt better at 15-16 weeks and we maybe have had sex 2-3 times since the (I'm 22 weeks). MH has been great and I try to take care of him a couple times of week. I haven't gotten that second tri sex drive I have heard about. Oh well. It's just preparation for when there's a screaming infant and no one is getting sex haha.

[nomnom]

Nothing so far between having it banned until they see a heartbeat and then having it questionable because the tech noted a SCH on the ultrasound. Maybe we can do something soon since the SCH is so small that the doc isn't concerned. DH is being very sweet, but it's obvious he's feeling a little neglected (not that he holds me responsible).

[SweetieShellie]

we were told not to do anything until a week after transfer. DH thought we should just wait out til beta, then I started getting morning sickness. I was hoping we could last friday, but then I had spotting and freaked out so never made an attempt. Had more spotting Wednesday, and Thursdays u/s revealed 2 babies @ 6 weeks and a SCH. They never told me I had to go on pelvic rest, but I may just avoid it for a little while. DH seems ok with it but he does get fairly moody when we haven't in a while. Maybe if I can go a week without spotting we can give it a shot?

[katemonster]

My RE told us to wait until 13 weeks (I think - or was it 10?) to let the placenta attach fully (or something). Sorry, not super helpful.

[nomnom]

katemonster Damn, that's a long time. Do you know if it was related to IVF or just in general?

[katemonster]

nomnom,don't really know, sorry. RE was very cautious in general - only low impact exercise for the same amount of time too.

[nomnom]

katemonster I've been too tired to exercise. Even walking to and from work is exhausting.

[Deleted]

We had sex last night. For the fourth time since September. It might have been the third time, actually. So yeah, that.

[juneroses]

This makes me feel so much better. . I was thinking of waiting at least till at least the first ultrasound in a week and a half...It just seemed like a good milestone.

I like the idea of cuddle time, though because DH is getting pouty. I don't think he feels really involved in this pregnancy yet even though he is just as excited, and wanted a baby just as badly as I did.

[cml112]

We did it a few days prior to the ER and didn't do it in the 5 days before the ET. MH was afraid he would "knock it loose" in the 2WW so we didn't. We did it at 5 weeks, but there was spotting for a few days so he's put the brakes on for at least the remainder of the trimester. I think we are both afraid of another loss that there's a good possibility he's not going to want to do much the entire pregnancy.

[Aimothy]

I was on pelvic rest until my first OB appointment at 11 weeks. We did it once and then found out the next week, we'd lost one of the twins. That put a halt on things and just when we were feeling it again, I had a bleeding episode at 18 weeks. That put another 2 week restriction in place. I think we've done it a handful of times between weeks 18-26; at least once a week, but definitely not more. My drive is not there and sometimes we pysch ourselves out now that we can feel him kicking.