Transition to One Nap

[schmella]

Alright, I give!  And I can't ask singleton mamas because... well because I'm a jerk and will probably discount their advice because I'm being a belligerent teenager about it and "they just don't understand!"

W is clearly done with 2 naps.  For the past month, she has refused or fought for 45-90 minutes one or both naps every. single. day.  The pedi was pretty adamant about not dropping the second nap at her 11m appt and was cool with her chilling in her crib for 60-90 minutes so long as she was content, but they are a year now and this past week it has been ridiculous.  She's clearly overtired but not a complete disaster when she skips a nap, so I think its time.  

A, on the other hand, still naps 1-2hrs twice a day.  And god help ya if you wake him up early- W's nap fights have really messed with him, because she keeps him up too long and wakes him up too early.  Lil man needs his beauty sleep!

So BTDT mamas.  Halp.  This will be the first time their schedules are not synced and I am so so terrified.  MH is already frustrated at my lack of housekeeping skills, I was just starting to get a little better at getting things done during naps, and now I'm losing all of my baby-free time- hold me!  

1) How do I make this transition?  What time do I put her down?  How long should I expect her nap to last?  We were really starting to enjoy some freedom in the afternoons and now I feel like we'll be stuck in the house all the time!  
2) Seriously, how did you manage the staggered schedule?  Did you push the other twin toward one nap?  I know he's not ready, but now I feel like I'll be just impatiently waiting for him to BE ready!  What does your schedule look like?  I'm looking at you, @feegan & richzep because I know you've done this recently!

[richzep]

I'm almost out of the woods so let me try to help.
My twins were identical to yours. One was wishy washy about their second nap. Tired but not overtired. The other required both naps and not a minute less!

So who got screwed? The latter. Little miss Olivia had to suck it up and stay up longer than she'd prefer.

Here's the schedule I followed (provided by my sleep trainer).

They were sleeping at 9:30 and 2:30.
So, days 1-3, I put them both down at 10. Olivia struggled the first two days but by day 3, 10 am was no problem. Still put them down at 2:30 pm. If they napped, fine. If not, I left them both there for at least an hour. If they were still sleeping at 3:30 or 4, I woke them up.

Day 4-6, 10:30 am for nap #1. Same issues with Olivia but I tried to keep her as distracted as possible. After nap (or rest) at 2:30. Neither one took an afternoon nap on these days. Moved bedtime up by half an hour so they weren't overtired.

Day 7-9, first nap was at 11. No afternoon nap. Slightly earlier bedtime.

Day 10-12, 11:30 nap. Earlier bedtime.

Day 13-15, 12 pm nap.
Once I got them to nap at noon, I just waited it out for both of them to get used to the new time. Olivia adjusted to it perfectly. She slept a solid 3 hours. But danny, took a while. In fact, every transition, he never really slept that long. The sleep trainer told me it takes about a month. And sure enough, the last few days, he's been sleeping about 2 hours.
When he was waking up earlier than Olivia, I'd run in and get him so he didn't wake her. Sleep trainer told me to give it like 10 minutes. Olivia would get used to it. But don't get him right away because you don't want him to think that nap was enough. So I started leaving him and he slowly started sleeping longer. And now, at noon, he sleeps about 2 hours. She'll sleep for 3. And my older son will sleep for about 2.5 hours.

It takes time but definitely worth it to switch to one. I felt bad for Olivia who was clearly not ready and if she were an only child, she certainly would have still been on 2 comfortable naps. But what can I do? She's not an only child.

[schmella]

richzep, how old were they when you started the transition? They JUST turned 1 and it's just so early for this transition. If they were 15m, I think I'd feel better about pushing Ash into it, but man they really should still have 2

[richzep]

schmella they were close to 14 months. Still a little early if you ask me but I had to do it. The weeks when they were on staggered schedules was awful and I was stuck at home. It just wasn't working.
A friend told me that her son had to switch to 1 nap at 8 months because of the daycare he was at. He adjusted.
And I kind of thought, well that's the reason I don't have him in day care. So that I can do what works for my kids without having to accommodate other people's kids. But I guess there isn't much difference between siblings and other day care kids. They have to adjust. Whether one is sleeping a bit earlier or one is sleeping a bit later.
It's so annoying and frustrating but they end up figuring it out and getting back in sync (mostly).

[schmella]

Nov 3, 2016 10:16:08 GMT -5 richzep said:

schmella they were close to 14 months. Still a little early if you ask me but I had to do it. The weeks when they were on staggered schedules was awful and I was stuck at home. It just wasn't working.
A friend told me that her son had to switch to 1 nap at 8 months because of the daycare he was at. He adjusted.
And I kind of thought, well that's the reason I don't have him in day care. So that I can do what works for my kids without having to accommodate other people's kids. But I guess there isn't much difference between siblings and other day care kids. They have to adjust. Whether one is sleeping a bit earlier or one is sleeping a bit later.
It's so annoying and frustrating but they end up figuring it out and getting back in sync (mostly).

I'm struggling with this a bit. Like, what the hell kind of SAHM am I if I can't even manage 2 nap schedules?

A practical one, that's who.  

Ugh, if they weren't SO clearly in different places here.  A took a 90 minute nap this morning and was beside himself at 3hrs after waking up- it was NAP TIME.  I waited, tried reading with W for 20 minutes, tried giving her a blanket in her crib, and the little jerk woke him up at the 45 minute mark.  Now he is sobbing, face down in the mattress because he was NOT ready to be up.  Tried rocking him, no dice.  I just get to listen to him scream.  

[richzep]

Well I guess we're not fully transitioned either @feegan.
Olivia was going crazy so I had no choice but to put her down at 10. She woke up at 12 and I put danny and Charlie down. Danny woke up at 2 and I then put Olivia down again.
Meanwhile, I've been telling Charlie all day that we're going to an indoor playground. When Olivia wakes up. After you eat. After you nap. When danny gets up. Now he's about to wake up and I know he'll ask to go, and I've just put down Olivia. Stuck at home. Not a moment to myself. Blah. Today sucks.

[schmella]

So today I tried to push nap 1 back a bit. A was melting down, so I put them both in their cribs on time and read stories for 20 minutes. I left, W screamed, and 10 minutes later they are both jumping in their cribs playing peekaboo across the room and shrieking. Can't even be mad. They're so damn cute when they conspire!
So 30 minutes later, A finally falls asleep. W just kept going so I scooped her up and she did her "I win happy dance" and I put her in baby jail to play by herself. We all had lunch and I just put her down for what I expect will be her only nap for the day. She'll be ready to get up right when he goes down, right? Ugh.

[schmella]

Tried to put down A for nap 2 while W was still sleeping. Now they're both awake and pissed about it. What special circle of hell have I entered?!

[richzep]

I've kind of learned not to put one down while the other is sleeping. I never win. I would just wait it out until one wakes up so you can put the other down. It's still annoying cuz you have one up and one down all day but it's better than pissed off babies. And this is temporary until they're both on the same schedule.

[schmella]

Nov 4, 2016 23:38:51 GMT -5 richzep said:

I've kind of learned not to put one down while the other is sleeping. I never win. I would just wait it out until one wakes up so you can put the other down. It's still annoying cuz you have one up and one down all day but it's better than pissed off babies. And this is temporary until they're both on the same schedule.

But but!!! I had a chance for 30 minutes of overlap!!!
Lesson learned. We're setting up the PnP in our room so W can nap in there until we sync back up. Added bonus- I can't hear her screaming if I turn the sound off the monitor.

[richzep]

Nov 5, 2016 8:49:02 GMT -5 schmella said:

Nov 4, 2016 23:38:51 GMT -5 richzep said:

I've kind of learned not to put one down while the other is sleeping. I never win. I would just wait it out until one wakes up so you can put the other down. It's still annoying cuz you have one up and one down all day but it's better than pissed off babies. And this is temporary until they're both on the same schedule.

But but!!! I had a chance for 30 minutes of overlap!!!
Lesson learned. We're setting up the PnP in our room so W can nap in there until we sync back up. Added bonus- I can't hear her screaming if I turn the sound off the monitor.

Oh man. I've attempted that many times. He's sleepy enough that he'll go down quietly. And then they'll both be asleep. And then I'll have a few minutes of peace to shower or eat or sit!!! This has to work!!!

Nope.

And yes. I've turned of that sound many times as well. This is stuff that you don't even think about if you're a mom of a singleton.

With my older son, it was simple. He's sleepy? Put him down. He's not sleepy, well go out and play until he is. No consideration of another baby. Another schedule. Sharing of rooms. None of that.

We do what we can now to make our lives easier.

[schmella]

Nov 5, 2016 9:32:12 GMT -5 richzep said:

We do what we can now to make our lives easier.

AMEN!

[schmella]

So we had a pedi appointment on Tuesday and when I described her crazy nap fights the pediatrician said to try even earlier for her first nap. So I put her down 90 minutes after waking and she went down without a peep 2 days this week! I'm so relieved (but also know this will all become a mess again sometime in the next few months).

[schmella]

We're pretty solidly taking 2 naps. We've started preparing W for a nap 10 minutes earlier- I start talking about "night night time" and she has started taking me to their bedroom. It has brought her wind-down time down to 30 minutes from 60-90, so thats progress? And there is less crying, she literally jumps and runs around her crib before falling over to sleep, hopefully without cracking her face into the crib rails. If she's still jumping or crying at the 20 minute mark, I go in and usually she pooped. I swear she holds it for naptime (the ped said the crazy laps she's running are probably causing her to poop). I have to cut her am nap at the 60 minute mark, and then she goes down the same way for her second nap. Its frustrating, but its working for now. She definitely needs it- the second nap is always at least 90 minutes, and then I'm waking her up at 4 so she will still go to bed at 7. If she would just go to sleep!!!

A has been randomly fighting naps, but I think it has more to do with his noisy roommate and teething than anything. His nap fights last 15 minutes, so its cool.

[schmella]

kate61487, you might find this thread helpful right now