IL/Family Vent thread - Nov 7th

[obi]

New week, new problems.

Who are you dedicating a page to in the burn book today?

[amandamh2]

I love my family and my ILs but after 5 years of DH being in the military they still haven't learned that our being able to come to things can't be confirmed until his leave is confirmed despite us telling them so every time. I know it's annoying to not be able to make plans because it drives me nuts too but there's nothing we can do about it. I just hate the constant questions about it from my mom and MIL- when I know, you'll know.

[meggypoo1]

I found out my MIL is telling the family that MH forgot to put a condom on one night and that's why I am pregnant.

[Deleted]

Nov 7, 2016 18:30:51 GMT -5 meggypoo1 said:

I found out my MIL is telling the family that MH forgot to put a condom on one night and that's why I am pregnant.

What. The. Fuck.

[Deleted]

Nov 7, 2016 18:00:51 GMT -5 amandamh2 said:

I love my family and my ILs but after 5 years of DH being in the military they still haven't learned that our being able to come to things can't be confirmed until his leave is confirmed despite us telling them so every time. I know it's annoying to not be able to make plans because it drives me nuts too but there's nothing we can do about it. I just hate the constant questions about it from my mom and MIL- when I know, you'll know.

I feel your pain.

[Deleted]

Since I got told to rest more my older family members have been...crass. They don't "believe" in birth control, aside from cycle tracking, and are suggesting that my IUD failing is why this pregnancy isn't going smoothly right now.

OK guys, sure.

[Deleted]

Nov 7, 2016 18:35:56 GMT -5 @priss08 said:

Nov 7, 2016 18:30:51 GMT -5 meggypoo1 said:

I found out my MIL is telling the family that MH forgot to put a condom on one night and that's why I am pregnant.

What. The. Fuck.

I'm sorry I just can't with this. Is she upset that your pregnant? What reason could there possibly be for this...

[callmeKD]

Nov 7, 2016 18:35:56 GMT -5 @priss08 said:

Nov 7, 2016 18:30:51 GMT -5 meggypoo1 said:

I found out my MIL is telling the family that MH forgot to put a condom on one night and that's why I am pregnant.

What. The. Fuck.

You took the words right out of my mouth

[obi]

Nov 7, 2016 18:30:51 GMT -5 meggypoo1 said:

I found out my MIL is telling the family that MH forgot to put a condom on one night and that's why I am pregnant.

WHAT?  NO! 

Oh. My. Lort.

[obi]

Nov 7, 2016 16:11:50 GMT -5 corinne said:

My page is for my MIL

The woman is captain obvious. It drives me crazy, even more so when I'm pregnant. When we watch a movie she is constantly asking, "why did he do that?" one time I finally told her, "if you just watch I'm sure you will find out".

She also can't sit still. At church the other day she would hang her purse on the chair in front of her, then put it in her lap...back and forth over and over. She would look at every person that coughed/moved etc.

I know these things are just personal pet peeves, but what bothers me the most is that she and X-stepFIL are back together.
He is a pain pill and alcohol addict, has been physically abusive, and spends all of his money and hers.

I totally get the pet peeve thing.  I am one of those hyper sensitive to noise people.  Chewing, clicking, nail biting, tapping... soo many noises are just grating or make my ears ring.  I feel like too much of an asshole to say anything 99% of the time so I just stew in my rage.

Also, I am sorry about the exFIL situation.  I can completely relate to having a toxic family member.  Especially one that seems hard to get rid of.  I would draw a clear line when it comes to him and what his presence means if that is a concern for you.  You may not even need to say anything.  Just do what is best for you/your family before you worry about their feelings.  You are not obligated to anyone.

I may be projecting a bit but my advice stands, haha. 

[obi]

Nov 7, 2016 19:33:48 GMT -5 obi said:

Nov 7, 2016 18:30:51 GMT -5 meggypoo1 said:

I found out my MIL is telling the family that MH forgot to put a condom on one night and that's why I am pregnant.

WHAT?  NO! 

Oh. My. Lort.

Quoting myself to say that I have decided my response would be to illicit as much awkwardness from this as possible.

"Actually we ride bareback all the time."

"This time I let him finish in me instead of on me."

Rattle her to her CORE. 

[obi]

Nov 7, 2016 19:42:14 GMT -5 corinne said:

Nov 7, 2016 19:37:23 GMT -5 obi said:

I totally get the pet peeve thing.  I am one of those hyper sensitive to noise people.  Chewing, clicking, nail biting, tapping... soo many noises are just grating or make my ears ring.  I feel like too much of an asshole to say anything 99% of the time so I just stew in my rage.

Also, I am sorry about the exFIL situation.  I can completely relate to having a toxic family member.  Especially one that seems hard to get rid of.  I would draw a clear line when it comes to him and what his presence means if that is a concern for you.  You may not even need to say anything.  Just do what is best for you/your family before you worry about their feelings.  You are not obligated to anyone.

I may be projecting a bit but my advice stands, haha. 

She would drive you crazy! We were taking a class, and watching an important video. She pulled out her nail clippers and started trimming her nails. I think my eyes bugged out of my head.

DH and I have drawn some clear lines when it comes to xfil. It's a much bigger deal now that we have DD and #2 on the way. MIL can't seem to understand our wishes, but that's a different story.

I think I blacked out reading that.  Holy feck.  Like... I am at a loss for words at the nail clipping.  I want to form a witty response but I can't think about it without gagging.

I'm glad to hear you have made your desires clear, whether they are understood or not.  The last part is their problem, not yours.

[obi]

Nov 7, 2016 18:39:57 GMT -5 @priss08 said:

Since I got told to rest more my older family members have been...crass. They don't "believe" in birth control, aside from cycle tracking, and are suggesting that my IUD failing is why this pregnancy isn't going smoothly right now.

OK guys, sure.

That is so fucked up and I am sorry you've had to hear anyone say that to you.  Fuck those old biddies.  

[meggypoo1]

Guise she fucking insane. I have so many stories this is just the latest. She hasn't even said it to me!! She told SIL and she told me! I just kind of looked at my SIL like she had to be making it up. Nope. We aren't near family right now so my guess this is her "how could you have another away from us." She isn't upset about it though. She is happy. I think she just thinks we didn't plan it because we kept telling her that we wouldn't try again until after MH was done with internship. We just didn't want everyone to give us shit about trying now. Also, we haven't used condoms in a while... BCP for the win

[Deleted]

Nov 7, 2016 19:48:09 GMT -5 obi said:

Nov 7, 2016 18:39:57 GMT -5 @priss08 said:

Since I got told to rest more my older family members have been...crass. They don't "believe" in birth control, aside from cycle tracking, and are suggesting that my IUD failing is why this pregnancy isn't going smoothly right now.

OK guys, sure.

That is so fucked up and I am sorry you've had to hear anyone say that to you.  Fuck those old biddies.  

I try to let stuff roll of my back but the olds really grind my gears sometimes.

[amandamh2]

meggypoo1 and @priss08, WTF to family members thinking it's in any way appropriate to comment on people's family planning decisions? Talk about not your business.

[kristhegirl]

I loved this book - the Suni/Shia split is so important in understanding what's going on in the Middle East, even to this day. It was very interesting to read, too, not dull.

www.amazon.com/After-Prophet-Story-Shia-Sunni-Split/dp/0385523947