akraus2015 - Everyone gave great advice. Glad to hear the situation has diffused for now. Definitely point him in the direction of research. I can get my H to give me PubMed (legit medical study) articles about births with midwives (assuming they exist) if those would help. My H is a surgeon and was actually the one who suggested a MW because he knows I'm hoping for a birth with minimal interventions. His stipulation was it had to be in a hospital, so I chose a MW group which practices in a fantastic hospital and had OBs also on staff if needed.
Hope your H is willing to at least do or read research and open his mind to your opinions.
akraus2015 I'm firmly in the "your vag, your preference" camp. Frankly, if you want to go with the MW, do it, and he can suck it up. I know a lot of people say you won't care when you're in labor, but I absolutely did care and demanded my OB be there for DS. I wasn't comfortable with people I didn't know, who didn't know my case, delivering him. My H met my OB exactly once and has only met one of my MWs this time around. He knows that going with a doctor I am comfortable with is important to me
Even with my MWs (I see a practice of 4 MWs), there's always an OB on call if needed and they also partner with a MFM to cover all bases. I see the MWs for my routine apps and the MFM for all non-routine and all ultrasounds.
akraus2015 I'm firmly in the "your vag, your preference" camp. Frankly, if you want to go with the MW, do it, and he can suck it up. I know a lot of people say you won't care when you're in labor, but I absolutely did care and demanded my OB be there for DS. I wasn't comfortable with people I didn't know, who didn't know my case, delivering him. My H met my OB exactly once and has only met one of my MWs this time around. He knows that going with a doctor I am comfortable with is important to me
Even with my MWs (I see a practice of 4 MWs), there's always an OB on call if needed and they also partner with a MFM to cover all bases. I see the MWs for my routine apps and the MFM for all non-routine and all ultrasounds.
I am also firmly in the "your vag, your preference" camp. But. I tend to be the dominant one in our relationship, and have been especially so since starting our TTC journey. I have a bad habit of making these types of things "MY issues" or "MY experiences" or "MY losses" or "MY pregnancy", when really, they are "OUR" issues/experiences/losses/pregnancy. I could have been much nicer and much more caring towards my husband these past two years, when in reality I pretty much gave no fucks about his feelings or his opinions on courses of treatment, etc. I'm trying to be a better wife and remember that we're in a partnership and that just because I happen to be the one carrying the baby, it really is OUR pregnancy and OUR baby. I'm also preparing myself for the fact that we'll differ in opinions on parenting things, too, and just because I'm the mom does not mean that my decision is final.
TL;DR: I agree with you, but I'm trying to be a more considerate wife these days.
akraus2015, I think it's very kind of you to recognize that you've been the dominant one and try to include your H more. I admire it, because I am also very "my vag, my choice" about this and I'm not sure what I'd do if H tried to tell me where to deliver. Nothing good. I want him to be included in almost all decisions, but when it comes to where I'll be comfortable as I push out a human... I get final say.
(Within reason, I wouldn't expect him to be cool with me frolicking out in our woods with the deer during it. No offense to deer frolickers.)
Confession: I am not used to my new avatar yet, and so as this page reloaded, I was like "huh who is that person who responded with the same first few words I did..." for a second. Can I blame lack of sleep?
Your husband does have a bit of a point - depending on your state, some midwives only have to participate/witness a certain # of births. What you want (and what the hospital more than likely provides) are certified NURSE midwives who have a nursing education + a masters degree in midwifery.
Also, midwives are just more limited in their scope of practice than an OB, which is why having them part of care is necessary. I'm a third year NP student and while I am receiving a broad education, that won't substitute for a specialist when necessary. I know my limits as a provider.
I think another important thing to research is what those limits are. In the hospital it is obviously different than a home birth, but I would side eye any midwife who will deliver at home post-due date, will deliver multiples at home etc etc, particularly because ultrasonography is limited in midwifery more so than common obstetrics so they often are working on "less" concrete info anout things like gestational size, etc.
But overall I think using a nurse midwife (masters prepared) in a hospital setting is an excellent choice. I'm with @marshians husband on that one. I would NEVER have a home birth with a non nurse-trained midwife. Ever. They just don't have the knowledge or skill for an emergency, but I'm also anti home birth anyways for a variety of reasons so I'm biased. No offense to anyone who is birthing at home.
They are all AMCB nurse midwives with masters and doctoral degrees. I specifically like this birthing center because it's in the hospital, directly below the regular labor and delivery unit, and right next to the NICU, so they work directly with the OBs upstairs to support if a situation arises where you can't deliver in the birthing center. They will only allow you to deliver in the birthing center if you are low-risk and between 37-41 weeks with a single baby, head down, no GD, appropriate BMI, etc.
I think H will slowly come around to the idea when he realizes that we're in a safe place with all the supports necessary to ensure a healthy mom and baby post-delivery. I love him for being protective and having my best interest at heart, but sometimes his close-mindedness is frustrating!
Confession: I am not used to my new avatar yet, and so as this page reloaded, I was like "huh who is that person who responded with the same first few words I did..." for a second. Can I blame lack of sleep?
Ah. I didn't know that about how not all midwives are required the same amount of education. I guess I assumed they were all nurse midwives.
I think it varies by state on whether they're required to be certified NMWs or not. I don't know how your state is, but in NY, you can actually look up if they're certified/licensed and current through state ed
Ah. I didn't know that about how not all midwives are required the same amount of education. I guess I assumed they were all nurse midwives.
In Ohio they can be nurse midwives or just midwives. Nurse midwives have a nursing degree and a masters in midwifery. Midwives are trained in midwifery only (certified) but do not have any nursing or medical training.
In Ohio they can be nurse midwives or just midwives. Nurse midwives have a nursing degree and a masters in midwifery. Midwives are trained in midwifery only (certified) but do not have any nursing or medical training.
interesting! I know the ones I see are all certified nurse midwives, I just didn't know there were some states that didn't require that.
Every time I call to make an appointment it says "if you need to speak with one of our certified nurse midwives, press #" so that's the only reason I know.
I think nurse midwives are usually associated with a hospital system. So the place you go probably doesn't have a choice. They're probably just all nurse midwives.
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