PGAL/PAIF Check-In (December)

[caer]

Pregnant After Loss / Pregnant After Infertility (PGAL/PAIF) check-in is posted once a month for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss or a history of infertility and are now pregnant. Anyone who participates may start the thread each month.

Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning or spoiler if you decide to talk about any living children.


PGAL Mantras:

SPOILER: Click to show

Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.



I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.



My past does not dictate my future. A previous m/c does not mean I will have another m/c.



Just because something sad is happening to another poster, does not mean it will happen to you. We all know m/c and complications are not contagious!



Hope does not make bad things happen" You cannot jinx your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!



There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive"

How far along are you?

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally?

Any upcoming appointments or tests?

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves:

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition?

[caer]

How far along are you? 23w4d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? I've had a lot of anxiety the last two days. Baby hasn't been as active as he usually is. He's still technically meeting the kick count requirements, but I just haven't felt as much movement as usual. It could be that he changed position or that he's simply being lazy but it sent me into crazy anxiety spiral.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? GD test in a couple of weeks.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: Nothing except what I described above. I hope LO has an active day today to calm my nerves.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition? We host Christmas every year so I love a lot of our traditions. Probably my favorite is our big breakfast prior to opening presents on Christmas morning.

[callmeKD]

Hugs caer! I've had days where the activity and movement is so little and then the next few days it'll be insane.

[glb30]

caer (((hugs))) My baby has a lot of "quieter" days too. I think it's still early enough where if they are in a certain position, we don't feel it.

[glb30]

How far along are you? 24w2d

How are you doing? Physically, my feet are killing me. I can't seem to stand more than 2 hours without major pain. I'm having stabbing heel pain, which I think it's plantar facitis. It's bad enough where I think I need to see a doctor, but I was on trial all last week, and will be this week as well, so I just don't have time. Emotionally, I'm up and down. More anxiety, and not over anything specific- it's more like a moving target. Yesterday, I was anxious about how a baby will effect my marriage- like will we have enough time together? Will we agree on major issues? Will I be seeing my inlaws more? (Always leads to fights lol) Today, the anxiety is back on work.

Upcoming appointments? We have an ultrasound on Wednesday. It's the echocardigram, which my practice does on all IVF patients. Excited to see the nugget again!

Updates: We did the registry yesterday. It was actually a little insane. My shower is going to be kind of big- 60ish people- and they said to register for 180 gifts. We were there 2.5 hours, and only got halfway through. It was fun though. Def made the baby more real!

GTKY: My family spends every Christmas in Arizona. I love the weather, our tennis matches, drinks outside. I am not going this year though- kind of a combo of factors.

[caer]

I'm sorry for the anxiety glb30. Pregnancy is a huge anxiety trigger for me, for many reasons. (((Hugs))) I hope your appointment goes well on Wednesday!

[skk]

caer More hugs. I have similar days and anxiety...it's the worst. I hope baby has started kicking up a storm for you today.

glb30 I'm sorry about the anxiety and foot pain. Hooray for seeing your little one again on Wednesday! It's amazing how much detail they can see in the heart at this point.

[skk]

How far along are you? 24w3d

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Physically it's been an ongoing challenge...too much time on my feet = swelling, too much time sitting = more sciatica pain. I also keep battling constipation and have to be very conscious of my fiber intake. Emotionally I've been doing okay lately. Sometimes I worry about how much movement I'm feeling, but once I slow down and focus on it I'm okay. I think I just get busy and don't notice all of it at times.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? I have a checkup next week and need to do my glucose test anytime after the 16th. I also need to remember to get my TDAP done.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I got a ton of hand-me-downs from a friend last week! I'm so thankful for our friends. Now I just need to find a place to put all the boxes (NB through size 2)!

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition? I love going out to look at Christmas lights. There are a few neighborhoods near us that put out amazing displays so we like to stroll through.

[mosdub]

How far along are you? 23 weeks, 2 days

How are you doing Physically/Emotionally? Physically pretty good! Tired a lot, but no real complaints. Emotionally also doing well. I get concerned when I don't feel baby, but inevitably he ends up moving within an hour or so.

Any upcoming appointments or tests? Next week I have a quick check-up, probably just weight (eek) and pee and doppler.

Updates/Questions/Rants/Raves: I was looking up viability since I'm 23 weeks and came across this: www.spensershope.org/chances_for_survival.htm Each week makes such a difference it seems, at least up to a point. It's reassuring because from here on out it feels more and more like this pregnancy is going to result in my rainbow.

GTKY: What is your favorite holiday tradition? Sleeping at the IL's and opening presents. I know that's simple, but I just love love love it.

[caer]

I'm glad you guys are doing well skk and mosdub! I'm also glad to hear I'm not the only one who worries on slow movement days.

[madameovary]

Just wishing you ladies happy holidays and a happy third trimester!

[caer]

Thanks madameovary! Same to you and everyone else!

[glb30]

. aw! That sucks.

[mosdub]

Sorry .

[mosdub]

Just when you think you've moved on...
I finally decided to tackle our filing cabinet. I've just been throwing stuff in there with no organization so I figured it was time to shred old documents and consolidate folders. Of course the first folder I go through is from my first pregnancy. I ended up shredding everything (mostly just follow-up procedures for the D&C and information). I was okay with that, but then found the one and only ultrasound photo I have from that pregnancy from 10 weeks. I can't throw it away, but also can't bear to look at it all the time (I know some have put them in memorial frames/ornaments). Guess I'll file it away again. It's the only thing I have of him/her. Really didn't expect this little task of sorting old files to make me cry.

[glb30]

mosdub aww. I so get it.

I actually teared up reading it bc I did throw out my photo from my only pregnancy that got far enough to have one. I regret it, so I think you made the right choice putting it back in storage. A new pregnancy doesn't necessarily take away that feeling of loss. (((Hugs)))

[caer]

I'm sorry ..

So many (((hugs))) mosdub. That's so difficult. I don't have any advice but whatever you decide to do with the picture will be the right thing.

[madameovary]

mosdub, I'm so sorry. I have ultrasound pictures for both losses in an envelope in the safe, too. Even with the blighted ovum earlier this year I asked for a picture and they were like.....ooooookay. but what else do we have?

Big hugs.

[mosdub]

@justinslovo I remember hearing this before but forgot! Thank you for the reminder