TTCAL 12~6~16

[PepperPottsJ]

The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive, after a loss, every week.


Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.


**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**


How are you doing?

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):

Diagnosis (if applicable):

Updates/questions:

Debbie downer (a place to vent):

QOTW: This article gave me all the feels tonight,  if you make it to the end,  what do you do to be kind to yourself?  **not sure if the article requires a TW given where we are,  but just in case...**

[ironbaby]

How are you doing? I'm...okay?

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): newp

Updates/questions: IUI #5 didn't work. I guess it's on to IVF now.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): Most days, I try to forget there was a loss. I feel pretty fatalistic about it all.

QOTW: This article gave me all the feels tonight, if you make it to the end, what do you do to be kind to yourself?
Not enough, that's for sure. My normal outlet is running, but fertility treatments have made that unfun. I feel not myself a vast majority of the time: sluggish, unmotivated, and slow. It's hard to find that person who loved to run, who loved to push the envelope. I feel consumed by this unhealthy thing, rather than by the healthy things I used to be consumed by. All that to say, I guess I need to find my joy and maybe work on those lists to be kind to myself.

[MsG]

How are you doing? Honestly better this month than I have been since the loss. It's the first month I don't feel frantic. I still have my moments of course, but I feel like I'm able to breathe a little bit more. Of course I'm about to enter my tww, so we'll see how that affects my newfound mellowness.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable):

Updates/questions: I have pcos, so my cycles tend to be long and I skip periods (it used to be that I could go for 6-8 months without a period, but since I went off of birth control to start trying for a baby last spring, I've been better than I used to be - wondering if a healthier lifestyle has helped). This month feels really strange to me because instead of wondering how long my cycle might be, I think I ovulated earlier than even my earliest expected date. Which I guess means I might have a typically 28 or 29 day cycle - unheard of for me. It's not that big a deal, but it's just so weird. My short cycles are typically still 33-34 days.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm in a good place at the moment .

QOTW: This article gave me all the feels tonight, if you make it to the end, what do you do to be kind to yourself?
I loathe working out, but have found that running eases my stress - so I do it. If I really need to stop thinking for a bit, I whip out a bowl of popcorn and lose myself in a marathon tv show. Actually, who am I kidding? Stressed or not, I marathon tv shows more often than I'd care to admit.

[MsG]

ironbaby I am so sorry to hear the IUI didn't work. And that you're feeling so not yourself. I can relate to feeling consumed by the negative and beginning to feel like someone else. I know it doesn't do much, but sending positive thoughts your way.

[wannabmama]

ironbaby I totally understand that feeling...the treatments and all the sadness that has gone into this process has definitely made me feel unhealthy and it's spiraling. Last week MH and I got into a rhythm of going to the gym together and it was great and then now this week I feel so shitty, I just can't go (plus between appointments and the time it takes to get to everything, there's just not enough time to do it all).

MsG hope this is a sign that things are evening out for you some and you are having some shorter cycles!

How are you doing? It's been a rough week.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): IVF #3, retrieval is tomorrow.

Diagnosis (if applicable): Old (me), bad swimmers (him)

Updates/questions:

Debbie downer (a place to vent): Last IVF cycle we went to the retrieval with three nice sized follicles, good estrogen levels, all signs pointing to good things...and then they could not get any eggs. There are a lot of theories about why that would have happened...but now, on top of all the other things that go into will it work? on IVF cycles, I am terrified that I will wake up and hear "we didn't get any" again. I don't know how I will recover from that. And then, of course, if we get lucky and have any retrieved, there are a million other little hurdles to overcome. I am also so pumped full of hormones that I literally have cried three times this morning. It's 8:20am. Tomorrow can't come fast enough.


QOTW: This article gave me all the feels tonight, if you make it to the end, what do you do to be kind to yourself? The barn is my place to go and feel good, of course, actual riding is discouraged when I am stimming for IVF, so I miss out on that. But, even just going and brushing my boy and watching all the people out there enjoying this sport that I love so much, helps. Whatever happens with this cycle, I am going to get back to the gym routine with MH, too, it was fun and a nice thing to do together.

[PepperPottsJ]

wannabmama,I have EVERYTHING crossed for you
MsG, I am on a mission to watch every series ever lately
ironbaby,i just love you