Saturday 2/14 Getting to know you better

[grannypantiesrock]

So I'm new here, and I know a lot of you ladies already know each other from TB (I was a regular on the weddingbee TTC forums... but they started to suck for me). So... I think it would be nice to know everyone better. Could everyone share a little something about themselves/their families, where they are in the adoption process?

I've been married for a year and a half to my DH. We live in NJ where he works as an elementary school principal. I'm a nurse anesthetist and I commute every day across the boarder to PA for work. My job is demanding with an erratic daily schedule and it does have me stressed over suddenly being a new parent to an infant without being obviously pregnant first. I'm afraid I'll be treated differently than a traditional new mom.... like I'm adopting a new puppy or something. We are also being taken over by a private group that will employ us and contract us out to the the hospital where I currently work. So same job-new company. The  new company is going to be small (under 30 employees) so FMLA goes right out the window. We are just starting out with adoption and have selected our agency. We have a meeting with a social worker next week and presumably will be working on out home study and profile soon. We are open to an infant of any race, and according to the agency the typical wait for parents like is can be under 6 months. GAH!

[lovelyplanet]

Hi there. I am also in NJ and will be celebrating our 10 year marriage anniversary this year! Still can't believe it!!!

We are both in the same industry working for different companies and love our jobs very much. We have always had adoption in our plans regardless of whether or not we have a biological child at some point. We started the process last year and are now going through the Home Study process. We hope to have it completed in another month. My husband is super supportive and an equal partner in every sense of the word. I know he will be the most amazing dad ever! I can't wait.

We have been learning so much about babies and are petrified and super excited all at the same time.

[grannypantiesrock]

Feb 14, 2015 10:24:55 GMT -5 lovelyplanet said:

Hi there. I am also in NJ and will be celebrating our 10 year marriage anniversary this year! Still can't believe it!!!

We are both in the same industry working for different companies and love our jobs very much. We have always had adoption in our plans regardless of whether or not we have a biological child at some point. We started the process last year and are now going through the Home Study process. We hope to have it completed in another month. My husband is super supportive and an equal partner in every sense of the word. I know he will be the most amazing dad ever! I can't wait.

We have been learning so much about babies and are petrified and super excited all at the same time.

Are you working with an agency?

[lovelyplanet]

Feb 14, 2015 10:43:20 GMT -5 grannypantiesrock said:

Feb 14, 2015 10:24:55 GMT -5 lovelyplanet said:

Hi there. I am also in NJ and will be celebrating our 10 year marriage anniversary this year! Still can't believe it!!!

We are both in the same industry working for different companies and love our jobs very much. We have always had adoption in our plans regardless of whether or not we have a biological child at some point. We started the process last year and are now going through the Home Study process. We hope to have it completed in another month. My husband is super supportive and an equal partner in every sense of the word. I know he will be the most amazing dad ever! I can't wait.

We have been learning so much about babies and are petrified and super excited all at the same time.

Are you working with an agency?
Yes we are. PM me if you want more details. 

[drl]

Hi. We're in new England. We used to live in PA and commute to NJ. we adopted our daughter domestically when she was 2 days old

[packerfan4life]

My husband and I are pending finalization to be adoptive parents to a beautiful 4 month old girl. We brought her home from the hospital at 3 days old. We should finalize around March or April. We have a semi-open DIA.

[pinkie]

I'm also from NJ. My husband and I are going on 10 years of marriage. We spent about 3/4 of our married life trying to have bio kids and then waiting to adopt. We were blessed with DS1 2 years ago and then again with our little guy 4 months ago. We adopted both from the US through an agency. We waited almost 1.5 years the first time and only a few months the second time. I'm still out on leave but I work in pharma.

[grannypantiesrock]

Well check out all the Jersey girls!!

[wishuponastar]

Hi! I live in PA! I'm an elementary school teacher in an urban school district. DH works in healthcare.  We have been married for 5 1/2 years. We TTC for several years before deciding to adopt.  We were lucky to find an agency that we LOVED! Our little guy was born on January 11th, and we are hoping to finalize in May/June. 

[perumom]

Hello ladies,
I am also a Jersey girl but living in NY. We are a military family, I am a foreign language professor and hubby is...well..he is in the army :-) We are currently in the waiting period of an international adoption (Peru). We have been married 16 years and already have a bio 15yo son. Since it seems all of us here are on the northeast, how is everyone enjoying the snow?

[lbey]

Hello there!
I am actually from Brazil but living in Minnesota for over 9 years. It seems like this year all the Minnesota snow went to East Coast ah?
My Husband and I have been married for 3 years and TTC before almost two years. We could try harder, but we decided it doesnt make sense since there are so many kids out there needing a loving family. I have 2 jobs;I am a Project Manager and a Childcare Coordinator for an Au Pair agency. My husband is a manager at a food chain restaurant. We are going for the Waiting Children program to adopt 2 kids up to 12 years old. The process is quite slow and we finally have been assigned a Social Worker. We are now waiting for the SW to schedule the first visit.

[chele]

Another Jersey girl here, lol. My husband and I have been married for 7 years. I was an older bride and knew adoption was likely so it was just a matter of figuring out the route to take. We chose to go through the foster care system, but we are also fostering just to foster.

We have been fostering sisters ages 9 and 5 for exactly one year as of yesterday, but they should be going home soon, assuming mother stays on track. We've received no calls for a single legally available child in our age range (6 and under) so I'm a little bummed about that, but we'll see how things go. It's also possible we could end up with a foster that turns into an adoption situation. So hard to tell with this route.

[gnomesweetgnome]

DH and I have been married for almost 9 years, and together for almost 15 (yikes!).  We were junior high sweethearts.  We TTC for several years, but due to MFI we decided adoption was the best way to expand our family.  We brought B home about a year ago at almost 7 months old, and we will be finalizing his adoption very very soon.  We live in Texas, and have all our lives so far.  We also have three dogs, all mutts.  I work very part time as a massage therapist, but mainly I'm a SAHM.  DH works for the city we live in as a wastewater utilities coordinator, which is a fancy name for database jockey.   We are planning to start the licensing process for foster/adopt later this year.  In our free time we like to run, watch TV, read, and I knit.

[carolinah]

Hi, there! I'm a birthmom to an incredible 13 month old little girl. We have a very open adoption- her parents were at doctor's appointments, there for her birth, and I chose to place her with them at 2 days old. I love them and our open adoption!

I am currently a nanny (for a nurse anesthetist so I can appreciate the stress of your job a bit) and plan to start nursing school in October. DH is a personal banker now, and we are expecting our first baby in August. It has been a very healing experience for my birthmom wounds so far. We live way down in the south.

[roxy]

Hello! My H is an elementary school teacher and I work in the title business. We started out going down the foster care route and decided that we just weren't ready for the uncertainties that come with that. We are now adopting from the Waiting Children's program in MN. The kiddos are still in foster care, but TPR has already happened. We are hoping to get a child that is between the ages of 6-12.

[shemarie82]

My wife and I live in Mid Michigan. We have been together for about 12 years, married in September. We have always talked about having kids, so once the wedding was out of the way, we jumped right into it. We are getting licensed through foster care with the intention to adopt. We are also TTC, because we can not have enough uncertainty in our lives!

Currently we have 4 naughty kitties that run the house.

[browneyes8]

DH and I, married 10 years this summer, are parents to a 3 year old boy, who joined our family through domestic adoption (placed with us at birth).  We have been waiting to adopt our second child for 14 months now.  The waiting is getting tough since we had an extremely fast process with our first (less than 3 months from activation to placement).

[pinkie]

Feb 16, 2015 15:08:46 GMT -5 browneyes8 said:

DH and I, married 10 years this summer, are parents to a 3 year old boy, who joined our family through domestic adoption (placed with us at birth).  We have been waiting to adopt our second child for 14 months now.  The waiting is getting tough since we had an extremely fast process with our first (less than 3 months from activation to placement).

It sounds like we had the opposite waits for our adoptions! I hope your placement comes soon.

[lovelyplanet]

Feb 16, 2015 17:18:55 GMT -5 pinkie said:

Feb 16, 2015 15:08:46 GMT -5 browneyes8 said:

DH and I, married 10 years this summer, are parents to a 3 year old boy, who joined our family through domestic adoption (placed with us at birth).  We have been waiting to adopt our second child for 14 months now.  The waiting is getting tough since we had an extremely fast process with our first (less than 3 months from activation to placement).

It sounds like we had the opposite waits for our adoptions! I hope your placement comes soon.
Just goes to show how crazy uncertain this whole process is. 

[grannypantiesrock]

Feb 16, 2015 11:09:41 GMT -5 shemarie82 said:

My wife and I live in Mid Michigan. We have been together for about 12 years, married in September. We have always talked about having kids, so once the wedding was out of the way, we jumped right into it. We are getting licensed through foster care with the intention to adopt. We are also TTC, because we can not have enough uncertainty in our lives!

Currently we have 4 naughty kitties that run the house.

I'm right there with you on the TTC while adopting thing. My agency makes you put things on hold if you get pregnant until your bio kid is 1. That irks me a bit. I hoping for some kind of magical timing where we get to adopt and have a bio child within a year. With no guarantee that we will be placed soon, I feel like we shouldn't stop TTC. We'd like at least 3 children and DH is almost 40 (with a not so good family history health wise) , so I feel like time is of the essence. I'm agnostic, but I feel like somehow the babies we are supposed to have will find us. I know that sounds illogical from someone of no faith, but it keeps me going.

[browneyes8]

Feb 16, 2015 17:18:55 GMT -5 pinkie said:

Feb 16, 2015 15:08:46 GMT -5 browneyes8 said:

DH and I, married 10 years this summer, are parents to a 3 year old boy, who joined our family through domestic adoption (placed with us at birth).  We have been waiting to adopt our second child for 14 months now.  The waiting is getting tough since we had an extremely fast process with our first (less than 3 months from activation to placement).

It sounds like we had the opposite waits for our adoptions! I hope your placement comes soon.

Thank you!  I hope so too!

[redandblue]

Thank you grannypantiesrock for starting this thread! I love to hear about the stories and get to know people. I am catching up on the threads from the past few days and loved when I saw this one, as well as some other GTKY themes!

Both DH and I are 37 and have been married for a little over 4 years. I have DS, aged 15 yr, from a previous relationship. DH and I have talked about adoption and family planning since about date #4 seven years ago (by that time I was done with dating games and needed to know right away thoughts around the subject, I feel like this has always been in the cards for me, adopting, so I put it out there right away). We have TTC since our wedding, and last summer did a couple rounds of IUI fertility treatments, but decided we are not getting younger and want our family to grow. We are going through our local CAS to be consider for adoption, potentially through foster to adopt (so our child can be placed sooner) and we will probably put our profile in to be considered for consented infant adoption through CAS (I am in Canada, and that is basically how the adoption options are through CAS). We are half done our classes and have submitted ALL of our paperwork already!! (my DH thinks we are winning, like it's a competition! ha). Our process seems to be moving very quickly and we have seemed to luck out with timing (when we originally called in early December, they said approval process is usually a year, but our home study started last week and our SW said we should be approved by the end of March!! EEK). We have not gotten to the part in our process where we state what we will consider for a match (this has been a challenge for me, still trying to find the right terminology without sounding like you are ordering from a catalogue). During the training we are leaning more towards 0-3 years, but we will see where we land when we get to that part.

I am an ECE, but work have worked my whole career as a resource consultant supporting children with special needs in childcare. DH works for a trucking logistics company, and we are both supervisors in our current roles. DS is an amazing child, who often amazes me with his morals and values, however I will fully admit that I am finding parenting a teenager to be a challenge (particularly when he has his momma's strong will).

gnomesweetgnome,I also love to knit! I tend to go in spurts with it, and currently do not have any projects on the go. I am hoping once we get the bedroom completed and the training done, I can start a project for our new LO.

[chicago]

Hi all,
I'm in the mid-west both my husband and I work and have a dog. We are married 11 years. Had TTC about 8 years ago. Wen through IUI and IVF with no success ... Dreaded unexplained infertility. I wasn't ready for adoption at that time. We planned to live childless, retire early and enjoy life.
Then this past July someone asked us directly about adoption. It opened up the conversation again. We decided to try IVF one more time, see if more tests could be done and if the medical procedure had changed. The RE talked us into trying again. At that time we decided that we would go straight to adoption if things didn't work out. We started to educate ourselves on adoption. The IVF didn't work so we got started on the adoption process.
We met with the agency early November and have been waiting since mid January.

Our family and friends have been incredibly excited for us. We are hoping to have an open adoption. I'm always on the lookout for articles, blogs or books to educate me on each side of the Triad.

Nice to meet everyone.

[spooko]

DH and I have been together 10 years in June, married 7 then. We both have adoption experience in that he was adopted in a kinship relationship as a baby and I was adopted by my dad (BF died before I was born) and I have 3 adopted sisters. Plus, we adopted DS in a kinship adoption from my eldest sister (she was one of the 3 adopted, so DS and I don't share any DNA) when he was a baby. Well, we got him when he was a baby but it took until he was almost 4 to finalize because we had to weave our way through the foster care system. My sisters who were adopted had all been through the foster care system, and my parents also fostered outright, so I have a decent background in that area.

DS had drug exposure prenatally and currently deals with ADHD. I suspect we'll get another diagnosis, either GAD, bipolar, both, or similar in the future, but we're just dealing with things as they come. He's in 2nd grade now and thriving academically at least. He is very active in sports (2 seasons of soccer and an extended wrestling season) and actually just earned his first gold medal in wrestling this past weekend. He's a big handful, but he's a nice boy deep down and is funny to boot.

When DS was 4, we had our bio DD. The two are best buddies and I couldn't ask for more with them. She's in preschool right now and will start 4K in the fall. It's amazing how similar the two are and how they look and talk and act alike, even without sharing any DNA.

[jwinct]

Great post!

My husband and I live in CT and we celebrated our 10 year anniversary in June. We have two beautiful biological daughters, ages 5 and 7 (she'll be 8 in a few weeks). We have two cats and two dogs, all rescues. I have a firebelly newt named Elizabeth (named after a character from the TV show "V" from the 80s... because I got her when I was 10 years old... and I'll be 39 years old in a few months! She lives in a small tank on my kitchen counter and keeps me company while I cook.

My husband was in the state foster care system as a child, so the decision to grow our family through DCF is deeply personal to us. We made the decision in January 2014 and started the process as soon as we could by attending a required open house a few weeks later in early February 2014. The process has been so incredibly slow, despite our regular calls to check in on the status of everything. We didn't have a home visit/interview until the summertime, and then weren't invited to start the class until November. It's now been over a year since we started the process and we're still only halfway through the class, no thanks to mother nature who throws snow on us every Monday. I think I might be in shock the day we find out we're licensed and our home is open for a placement.

I love to read and have been chugging through the Outlander series. My husband and I enjoy drinking wine and watching movies after the kids are in bed, and just doing fun things together as a family.

[Captain Serious]

I'm from NY and my husband is from AL. We live in NJ, but are in the process of relocating to VT. We've been married close to 11 years. We always planned to adopt, and did so without TTC. We felt that we were very blessed and wanted to share our blessings with children who might not otherwise have the same opportunities, which led us to adopt older children with special needs.

We adopted M from Peru in 2010, when he was 7 years old. It took us 2.5 years, but I firmly believe we were meant to be his parents.he had a congenital heart defect, which was operated on within just two weeks of his coming to the US. His heart is completely fixed, and he's physically healthy as could be. Since that time, however, the full extent of his needs has become more evident to us, and we are navigating the wold of special education and learning disabilities with varying success and grace.

We met J while we were in Peru to adopt M, and felt that he, too, was meant to be our son. We adopted him in 2012, after about an 18-month process. He has a neurological condition called neurofibromatosis, along with learning disabilities, apraxia of speech, and general anxiety disorder.

We are now moving to Vermont, and completely refocused our dream-house search from a location from "in the country, close to the mountains and jobs" to "in a school district that does really well with special needs, in the country, close to mountains and jobs." Our whole plan has been set back several years and realigned to their needs, and now we are finally so close I can taste it!