Post by kristhegirl on Dec 22, 2016 22:18:00 GMT -5
mikaela20 oh, I'd definitely be irritated. Who balances a holiday meal anyway? I would make what you were planning on and tell her if she wanted to dictate the meal she can make it all next year like a normal Christmas host.
(Okay, don't say that really. Just think it. But don't change your plans.)
Post by landonsmom15 on Dec 23, 2016 1:29:06 GMT -5
Is it really such a bad thing that I don't want my very first house to be filled with hand-me-downs?! I swear every time we come to FIL's house he asks me if I want something of his/DH'S from when he was a kid. We just got here 3 hours ago and I've already been asked if I want DH'S twin bed frame and dresser for DS. First of all, DS isn't ready for a twin bed. Second of all, I really like the reversible frame from Ikea. FIL seemed almost upset when I said no. But seriously, I want to pick out my own furniture!!
Hopefully I won't have too many more rants before this weekend is over, but I'm certainly not promising anything.
Is it really such a bad thing that I don't want my very first house to be filled with hand-me-downs?! I swear every time we come to FIL's house he asks me if I want something of his/DH'S from when he was a kid. We just got here 3 hours ago and I've already been asked if I want DH'S twin bed frame and dresser for DS. First of all, DS isn't ready for a twin bed. Second of all, I really like the reversible frame from Ikea. FIL seemed almost upset when I said no. But seriously, I want to pick out my own furniture!!
Hopefully I won't have too many more rants before this weekend is over, but I'm certainly not promising anything.
I hate furniture being kept to pass on! Some things are great, but my family is insane for this. They're are a lot of- I guess you would call them "heirlooom pieces". Nothing worth much but they're antiques.
It's great to have these things available but it shouldn't feel like we are expected to accept them.
Although, I am so grateful to have had so much given to me, I do plan on changing out a lot of the furniture over the next few years when it is affordable. I am over feeling guilted into keeping these things.
mikaela20 I'd be super annoyed. If you want a particular dish at dinner, make it yourself.
landonsmom15 NO! My mom keeps saying I can have my sisters baby stuff when (1) She is going to have more babies; (2) She had a boy and (3) Why shouldn't I buy my baby new things??? Oh- and (4) my sister has never even offered lol!!
This isn't really about me, but it annoys me at every holiday, SO....
I have 2 sisters, and we all live in or around Chicago. My parents also live here. My youngest sister isn't married, but my middle sister and I are to people whose families are out of state. EVERY HOLIDAY my mom says we need to go see our in laws since they see us "all the time." This holiday she is mad at my sister for not going to her inlaws (my sister has a 19 month old and wants him to have Christmas at home.) She honestly is like yelling at my sister and telling her she is selfish. My Nom gets so aggressive about this, it honestly gets hurtful. While we all live here, I can't remember the last time I had dinner with everyone at once.
Regardless, I don't think it's my mom's place to tell us what we should be doing on any given holiday...it seems like an issue a couple can work out for themselves. And by the time the holiday gets here, everyone is in a bad mood from all the in fighting.
This isn't really about me, but it annoys me at every holiday, SO....
I have 2 sisters, and we all live in or around Chicago. My parents also live here. My youngest sister isn't married, but my middle sister and I are to people whose families are out of state. EVERY HOLIDAY my mom says we need to go see our in laws since they see us "all the time." This holiday she is mad at my sister for not going to her inlaws (my sister has a 19 month old and wants him to have Christmas at home.) She honestly is like yelling at my sister and telling her she is selfish. My Nom gets so aggressive about this, it honestly gets hurtful. While we all live here, I can't remember the last time I had dinner with everyone at once.
Regardless, I don't think it's my mom's place to tell us what we should be doing on any given holiday...it seems like an issue a couple can work out for themselves. And by the time the holiday gets here, everyone is in a bad mood from all the in fighting.
Major yuck! Why is it any of her business?! Is she sick of seeing you guys? This is so weird to me.
I have the exact opposite. My mom can't stand when we spend time with my in laws. She thinks we favor them more than her. It's not my fault that they're retired and can come up here and stay several days in a row. Oh, and they live in Florida and it makes more sense for them to stay longer since they always drive. Why drive from Florida to Ohio then only stay like 2 days?! My mom is 4 hours away and rarely comes down here then gives me the biggest guilt trip when we don't get up there. Ummm, it's a lot easier for you to hop in the car anytime and come down here than it is for us to pack all the shit we need to stay somewhere even for a weekend and drive 4 hours in a car with a toddler and a pregnant lady.
Sorry, that turned into my own rant in general and not necessarily about the holidays.
At any rate, I could see why your mom might randomly ask when you're going to see your in laws but to get so aggressive and like yell about it?! Fucking weird.
I am extra scrooge this year because of us being so freaking broke (and knowing we're about to get poorer very soon), and H keeps on insisting on getting different people gifts. We can only afford the basic people, dude!! Grown ass adults don't need all the gifts. Especially grown adults that we rarely ever see. They will understand. I mean seriously.
My dad is driving up across several states and several hours to come visit me and my sisters. We rarely see him; his last trip to visit was June 2015 I believe. So we're excited but............ he will only be in town for two days. The 24th and 25th (OBVI). WTF? Why travel so long and far for such a short amount of time? Plus we always do Christmas stuff with H's family on those days, and I SERIOUSLY do not want to be traveling around all day on those days back and forth to various places. And his favorite pastime with us is to walk around the mall or walk around a trail... oh wait guess who can't do that stuff right now.... spoiler alert, it's me.
Also I can't stand his current wife, and he is bringing her of course.
I am going to be in a very bitch ass mood for the next few days.
Post by landonsmom15 on Dec 23, 2016 14:16:21 GMT -5
Minor rant.
FIL bought a new house and we just came over to see it. He is single and DH is an only child. This house is absolutely huge. 2 story, 4 bedrooms with walk in closets, 3 full bathrooms, 2 half bathrooms, 3 car garage. I'm slightly disgusted. I know he works for his money, but this is ridiculous IMO. Oh and he moved from a 4 bed, 3 bath house.
FIL bought a new house and we just came over to see it. He is single and DH is an only child. This house is absolutely huge. 2 story, 4 bedrooms with walk in closets, 3 full bathrooms, 2 half bathrooms, 3 car garage. I'm slightly disgusted. I know he works for his money, but this is ridiculous IMO. Oh and he moved from a 4 bed, 3 bath house.
Maybe so you'll be so comfortable to stay with him? I don't know why people WANT that much house all for themselves. It's so much more to upkeep
FIL bought a new house and we just came over to see it. He is single and DH is an only child. This house is absolutely huge. 2 story, 4 bedrooms with walk in closets, 3 full bathrooms, 2 half bathrooms, 3 car garage. I'm slightly disgusted. I know he works for his money, but this is ridiculous IMO. Oh and he moved from a 4 bed, 3 bath house.
Do all the rooms at least have furniture? Nothing worse than a sparsely furnished mansion.
FIL bought a new house and we just came over to see it. He is single and DH is an only child. This house is absolutely huge. 2 story, 4 bedrooms with walk in closets, 3 full bathrooms, 2 half bathrooms, 3 car garage. I'm slightly disgusted. I know he works for his money, but this is ridiculous IMO. Oh and he moved from a 4 bed, 3 bath house.
Do all the rooms at least have furniture? Nothing worse than a sparsely furnished mansion.
He hasn't moved in yet. The house is like 5 minutes from his current house (which isn't even on the market yet). I think he'll have furniture for the bedrooms, but he'll probably need more for the basement.
FIL bought a new house and we just came over to see it. He is single and DH is an only child. This house is absolutely huge. 2 story, 4 bedrooms with walk in closets, 3 full bathrooms, 2 half bathrooms, 3 car garage. I'm slightly disgusted. I know he works for his money, but this is ridiculous IMO. Oh and he moved from a 4 bed, 3 bath house.
Do all the rooms at least have furniture? Nothing worse than a sparsely furnished mansion.
I was thinking this too. I mean really TETO but...that sounds like a whole lot of house for one guy.
Got a weird Christmas letter from DH's grandparents.
My name is spelled wrong and so is DD's and hers says girl in parenthesis. Her name is not masculine or unisex. BIL's new baby's name is spelled wrong too, as well as his fiancé's last name.
I get they are older but seriously. They get cards from us.
Do you think they're okay? My great grandma did things like this when her mind started to go. But she had always been a little weird.
FIL bought a new house and we just came over to see it. He is single and DH is an only child. This house is absolutely huge. 2 story, 4 bedrooms with walk in closets, 3 full bathrooms, 2 half bathrooms, 3 car garage. I'm slightly disgusted. I know he works for his money, but this is ridiculous IMO. Oh and he moved from a 4 bed, 3 bath house.
Maybe so you'll be so comfortable to stay with him? I don't know why people WANT that much house all for themselves. It's so much more to upkeep
This. My mom really regrets buying a house as big as her current one. It's 4 bedrooms and she lives alone. My dad and stepmom are building a 5 bedroom house, but they currently live in a huge old farmhouse that has 8 bedrooms. I think it would make sense if they were younger or we all lived closer. But since that's not true, I don't get it.
Got a weird Christmas letter from DH's grandparents.
My name is spelled wrong and so is DD's and hers says girl in parenthesis. Her name is not masculine or unisex. BIL's new baby's name is spelled wrong too, as well as his fiancé's last name.
I get they are older but seriously. They get cards from us.
Do you think they're okay? My great grandma did things like this when her mind started to go. But she had always been a little weird.
They are just odd. They have spelled my name wrong for a few years. Maybe they don't care about the spelling? My name is 5 letters and DD's is 6, nothing crazy here.
They have a lot of money and don't really like kids. They spend the winters in AZ and we rarely see them.
They came this summer to MN to help BIL move back to MT. They wouldn't even come by our place. We just saw them at dinner and the next day they drove home (15 hours). They are retired so no need to rush home.
Another funny this is the return address label just said Grandpa's name, so Grandma wrote in hers by hand too.
My MIL is in a different state today and is still causing drama. My H did not communicate to me that I was supposed to flat out lie about opening presents at my parents house today. My MIL texted and asked if my parents came to our house to open presents. I texted back and said that we went over to their house instead since it is the last Christmas they will spend in their house (they've been in the same house for 30 years). This apparently caused serious issues and lots of angry texts to my H about how we could go over to my parents (8 minutes from our house), but didn't love her enough to come see her (2.5 hours away and no guest room...we are going there tomorrow).
We've told everyone that we are spending Christmas at our house next year and they are welcome to come. My parents and brother have already said they are coming. My MIL said that she can't out of fairness to the other grandchildren.
I refuse to flat out lie about my whereabouts and everyone needs to stop being so effing sensitive.
Post by erinshelley21 on Dec 25, 2016 20:41:17 GMT -5
I dare someone to try and prevent me from drinking coffee or a pop.
We had a drama free day. Crazy, yes, but no drama. In the full 60 seconds I was in SIL's house Friday to give her my kid for the day so I could go home and throw up and be miserable, she caught it. I ended up making her green bean casserole and taking her girls to fil's Christmas. She's newly divorced so she doesn't have an H or SO that could have taken them.
And dh worked today so after that Christmas we drove the 35 minute one way to go see him.
I dare someone to try and prevent me from drinking coffee or a pop.
We had a drama free day. Crazy, yes, but no drama. In the full 60 seconds I was in SIL's house Friday to give her my kid for the day so I could go home and throw up and be miserable, she caught it. I ended up making her green bean casserole and taking her girls to fil's Christmas. She's newly divorced so she doesn't have an H or SO that could have taken them.
And dh worked today so after that Christmas we drove the 35 minute one way to go see him.
Long. Ass. Day.
You guys need some rest! Also yes, my mantra about people policing my food or drinks is "I wish a bitch would."
So I've always had some issues with feeling included with my dad, step mom and (half) brothers. It always sucks being the step kid who "visits"
Any way, i have open honest relationships with all other family members where we can talk about and work through feelings. I've never really had that with my dad save for a few times i let it all build up and exploded on him.
Anyway last year my dad was sick (i didn't know) and i expressed my sadness that they never visit. A few weeks later my step mom was drunk and crying saying he might have cancer and she can't live without him and then told me i don't make her feel like a grandma. I told her within the next few days that i wan them to have a good relationship (Even though she sucks). And my dad is fine now.
Well she doesn't act like a grandma. She didn't sit with us while we opened gifts on Christmas eve. I face timed my dad on Christmas and nobody else came to the phone to say hi. I texted my dad that it made me sad nobody else wanted to say hi to dd. I never got a text back.
Part of me is fine with no response because at least they know how i feel. Part of me is freaking out because i don't feel like i can be honest with them like i am with other family.
Man this turned into a lot. I just don't know how to process my feelings. I can't force a certain type of relationship, but somehow feel like it's my fault it isn't better. And i worry about my kids feeling left out when my brothers have kids and my step mom is close with them.
Tl;dr i have leftover step kid issues that are now resurfacing because of my kids.
Post by kristhegirl on Dec 26, 2016 12:10:54 GMT -5
jnow that really sucks. You can't shoulder both sides of any relationship - you are doing your part. They aren't stepping up. It sounds incredibly hurtful and I'm sorry you're dealing with it all over again now with your kids.
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