~*~ PgAL/PAIF check-in Christmas edition ~*~

[muscari]

Welcome to the PgAL and PAIF check-in!
 

This is a weekly check-in for those of us who are pregnant after loss and/or infertility. Feel free to jump in any time!
The check-in is a safe place to share all things that come with being PgAL and/or PAIF. Use this thread to ask questions, share your excitement/rage/worries/whatever, or to ask for support!

Please come on in and let us know how you're doing, and know you are always welcome to come back throughout the week whenever you need to!! ♥

*~*~*~*~*

PgAL Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/1034/pgal-mantras

PAIF Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/57254/welcome-paif-read-before-posting


**Loss/trigger warnings are not necessary here**

*~*~*~*~*

🎄🎄 Merry Christmas everyone! 🎄🎄

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?

Anything else you'd like to share?

[addymac]

Thanks for starting this, muscari!
Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas, everyone!! 🎄🕎

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you? 7+5

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically, occasionally
More nauseous if I go too long without eating. Mostly I'm just insanely hungry all. The. Time. I feel like I can never get full. Or if I do then I feel like throwing up. I also feel like all i do is sleep and go to work and go home and sleep. And eat.

Emotionally- same shit different day. Feeling sad that I miss our feb17 baby and wishing I had a big belly and was preparing for its arrival. Feeling shitty that I wish I still had that baby bc then this baby wouldn't exist. Feeling scared and sad that I feel like this baby isn't going to make it and the u/s will show a dead baby or cysts again. I'm crazy, I know.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Ultrasound on Thursday!!!! It cannot come fast enough. This is the longest week of my Lyyyyfe.

Anything else you'd like to share?
I just want to vent for a second. This girl in a fb group was upset bc she always gets asked when she's having a baby and they're not TTC for a variety of reasons. She then said sometimes she thinks that she should just say that she had just had a miscarriage or was suffering from infertility so people would shut up and stop asking her about babies. I flipped out on her on Thursday? And I'm still so. Fucking. Angry. At her. Like I was so angry at her for saying she wishes she could have a good excuse like that and thinks of saying it even if it isn't true. And what infuriated me almost more is that no one else in our group batted an eye at her or backed me up. I laid into her and she got so defensive bc "she's never actually said it" and it's "just a thought". But omg. I was shaking I was so angry for like the entire fucking day. I finally just walked away from the convo but I still wish I could go back and unleash more of wtf is wrong with you, you terrible person. Sigh. Some fucking people.

[elliecat17]

muscari thanks for the check in!

addymac (hugs) people suck.

How far along are you? 5w4d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically some light nausea and some stretching/pressure in the ute.
Emotionally I am doing alright. I had the tiniest pink spot on christmas eve so I kind of panicked. I cried, thought everything was over (all symptoms went away except for ute stretching/cramping). Had another beta draw this morning and it came back at 4468! So now doing much better emotionally, although it's still always on the back of my mind.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Well based on the numbers an U/S is in my future!

Anything else you'd like to share? I am so insanely grateful every day that I wake up and am still pregnant. I feel like I must be the weirdest person on earth, and I love the nausea and the gas and the bloating and everything else. LOL

[yoshijo28]

How far along are you? 8w3d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Tired and so weak

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Apt Fri

Anything else you'd like to share? Im just paranoid I will hurt the baby. I lifted my 4 yr old nephew onto the bed yesterday and was so scared I hurt the baby. I'm worried I'm not putting the endometrin far enough. Idk, just nervous

[cravingchocolate05]

How far along are you? 5w6d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Ugh. I had a scare yesterday and ended up being that person going to patient first on Christmas day. I have been having dull, persistent pain low on my right side since Wednesday, and then yesterday it seemed a little worse, I was dizzy, and then had light pink discharge in the evening (sorry if tmi). I freaked out, worried that it might be ectopic. Of course, patient first couldn't do anything besides confirm I was pregnant with a blood test (lol). The doctor I saw had ob experience and said she didn't think it was ectopic since the pain was mild but that I needed to go to the emergency room if it got worse. I'm on orders to set up an appointment with my real ob as soon as they open. I haven't had any more pink discharge thankfully but the dizziness is still there occasionally.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? I am calling my doctor tomorrow.

Anything else you'd like to share
So then, of course today my boobs seem less sore, and my head is playing tricks on me saying it's related to the discharge and a bad sign. As much as I'm dreading the first ultrasound, I really want it too just to see where things stand. I doubt they'll want me to come in for a few more weeks but we'll see.

[yoshijo28]

cravingchocolate05 sorry for the scare. FWIW I was/am dizzy often. It's a common symptom and doesn't mean ectopic. I hope you get an apt very soon to help you feel better

[cali]

muscari, thanks for the check in! How are you?


addymac, i completely understand all your feelings. ((Hugs)) also, your FB friend is an asshole, I'm glad you told her off. 


elliecat17, yay for great betas! Hope you can get an u/s soon!


@xamountofwords, I hope you can reschedule. I know taking time off work can be difficult. 


yoshijo28, I'm so paranoid of doing something wrong too! I doubt it will ever go away (even after babtvis here!)


cravingchocolate05, ((hugs)) I hope your doctor can give you some reassurance tomorrow. 

[cali]

How far along are you? 5w4d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Physically, OK. I've been struggling a lot with constipation and the huge amount of progesterone I'm on isn't helping. Other than that I have had some mild nausea but nothing significant. Sore boobs that come and go, really tired, really hungry.

Emotionally, I'm just so worried and scared. I can't let myself think too far ahead. Christmas was rough because I was surrounded by pregnant women and a new mom so there was so much pregnancy/baby talk and I haven't told anyone and I'm so not ready for that yet because I still don't believe this is real.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? First ultrasound on Wednesday. I'm a wreck.

Anything else you'd like to share? Just ask for any prayers or good thoughts you can send my way for a good ultrasound on Wednesday.

[cravingchocolate05]

cali Best wishes and prayers for your ultrasound!!

[Waffles]

Hi! I haven't dared posting yet but thought I'd join in here.

ETA a bit of background as I missed intros: I'm 39, TTC #1 since Nov 2014, BFP in Feb 2015, MMC May 2015, D&C. Took a break then BFP May 2016, MC at 7 weeks. Had a clotting panel, nothing abnormal so got put on aspirin in July. Since BFP had pregnancy confirmed with blood test, apparently lazy thyroid so taking something for that + OBGYN prescribed progesterone to help it stick. Really paranoid this isn't going to work out either so I'm a bit of a nervous wreck.

How far along are you? 7w5d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? I'm tired, bloated and have really sore boobs + dog nose (until I caught a cold ). I don't dare being excited as we had a mmmc at 9 weeks last year and I'm scared it will happen again. I'm both relieved and petrified by the fact I don't have other symptoms so far.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? No appointment until 5 January.

Anything else you'd like to share? Just sending everyone good thoughts.

[yoshijo28]

cali, sending you good vibes for your u/s today!!!

[yoshijo28]

muscari good luck today!!

[addymac]

cali how did your u/s go yesterday??

[yoshijo28]

Dec 29, 2016 8:30:01 GMT -5 @xamountofwords said:

Today I woke up to a dream that I was bleeding. That was really not nice brain.

Ugh sorry :/ I've had one of those too

[cali]

Dec 29, 2016 6:47:19 GMT -5 addymac said:

cali how did your u/s go yesterday??

It went ok, thanks for asking. There was a gestational sac and yolk sac, measuring right on track. They weren't able to see the fetal pole yet but they assured me that is normal at this point (I'm 5w6d and Google tells me the fetal pole shows up between 5 1/2 and 6 1/2 weeks but it still wasn't super reassuring for me). I'm out of town next week, so I go back on Jan 9 for another scan. By then I'll be a bit over 7 weeks so we should see a baby and a hb.

[yoshijo28]

cali I'm glad the sac was measuring on track! I was stalking for your update! I know you're still nervous but I'm glad your RE was happy with the u/s. FWIW, at my u/s at 5w3d there was no fetal pole yet. Were you measuring 5w6d?

[cali]

yoshijo28, they didn't say exactly what I was measuring, they just said "everything is on track" so I'm just taking that at face value right now and trying not to freak myself out.

[yellowcat]

How far along are you? 9wks 2d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Okay, I am stressed about an SCH. For some reason I am not feeling as attached to this pregnancy as I have to others in the pasy. Part of it may be a complete lack of symptoms besides just being tired.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? ultrasound/first ob appointment Jan 3

Anything else you'd like to share? I intro'd on the main board but a brief summary here: This is my 4th pregnancy and I have one daughter. All but one of my pregnancies is from IVF (MFI and generally shitty eggs). I have a SCH about the same size as the baby's sac that has been bleeding on and off since 6 weeks.

[elliecat17]

muscari How did it go today?

[muscari]

Dec 29, 2016 17:05:11 GMT -5 elliecat17 said:

muscari How did it go today?

Ahh sorry for being such a slow responder and crappy TCFer! Working full time and this being exhausted all the time is doing doing a number on me Finally got some time to try and catch up with the board.

Scan on Thursday went well! Baby is measuring on track and we saw a strong hb. We are soooooo relieved! I also have a pretty large cyst on my left ovary (which explains the discomfort and all, I was worried about ectopic but didn't want to borrow trouble so decided to try not to let worry rule me even more so then it already did with PgAL brain), but the dr didn't seem too concerned. Just hoping it'll take a hike on it's own before too long.  I go back for another scan on the 11th, with another scan (official dating scan) on the 16th!

[yoshijo28]

muscari yesssss!! I was looking for your update and getting nervous. I'm so so happy for you!!!

[cravingchocolate05]

muscari So happy to hear! That's fantastic news.