Lets make it real

[Deleted]

Ok so Ill jump in and say. I miss the old board for the openness and lots of opinions and variety. I am open to this one because its a little more intimate, and we can get to know each other better- also I find myself perusing the other threads more often. I NEVER went there- on the other, birth month etc.  So if the LGBT thing is dying on the other.. then we need to try to revive the enthusiasm and embrace change. Its important that we have a space somewhere on the vast interwebz to connect and support. Im very happy personally to have a mix allready of different kinds of parents and kiddos in this little group. So Ill step up and try to post more- I really only posted on TTT and parenting, so I dont "know" many of you TTC and TTW and Pregnant... So formerly Winstan1, now Sherminator. SMBC to J who is my 4 yr old son. Hes in Montessori preschool and I work nights- So I like a board to see at all hours...I was randomly checking out some posts on this board, and for some reason read the Dads and Loss thread. Which I would have never seen on the other... so some great thoughts there. Crafts, check, and some other random threads. I was feeling like this board might be more like my neighborhood, and I hope I find a home. I never really "bond" with the other sections that might pertain to me- old moms, smbc I want this lbgt section to reflect the varieties of parents that we are. So, in short, Ima give this here board a shot and see if it can feel like home. I didnt quit for political reasons, or moderator reasons because I never went anywhere else and wasnt really affected. I quit because my people that really shared and nutured that community seemed to freeze up. Im looking forward to meeting some of you that I have not yet, and hope we can "keep it real". I feel like I moved out of town, and here I am and hope that I can make new friends and neighbors.
In my real life, I live in a very lgbt friendly town. One thats extra crunchy. On my street there are at least 4 lesbian families, 1mixed race family from adoption, some hipster baby wearers across the street. As for me and my family... we are a sort of combo. I breastfed and pumped and used formula. We eat mostly organic veggies from our CSA-but are NOT adverse to a playtime at McDonalds replete some of those poisonous nuggets. I totally wrecked the earth with diapers. I dont shovel the sidewalk enough, clean house enough, excersize enough, or clean the fishtank enough. And little man probably catches more screen time than is strictly necessary. I used a unknown donor- but have connections to about 13 sibs of J's. If it can be said that I have a pet peeve, or wish- it would be that coupled lesbian families be more open with their kids about donors- its very personal, and if I were in a couple I might see it a bit differently, but thats my sticky wicket. There are many many couples I know that havent discussed it. From my pov it would be great to be able to say- J all these kids have donors too! Which is true, but I cant, and dont. Most other single moms I know- their kid do have Dads, perhaps not in their lives, but they have them. Thats our nutshell. Looking forward to hanging out here.

[RM80]

Welcome over! I too miss the old board, mostly the quantity of people, it can be slower here. But in time it will grow i think. Both boards are on transition and trying to find their place... It will settle again eventually.

I'm ttc, planning to wreck the planet with diapers, I eat mcdonalds more than I eat organic produce, I used to be a hippy- now I'm just a yuppy in the city!

[healz413]

McDonalds is definitely one of our go to places. We aren't proud of it, but we also aren't ashamed of it. Although we do get a bit sheepish when the drive through employees start recognizing us. We prefer to think of ourselves as the people who get recognized at our local diner (which also happens).

I agree that I'd love to see this board really grow and blossom. I think it will happen as we get more invested in each others journeys.

I'm still getting used to the changing screennames. I often find myself trying to connect a name here to a name that I knew from TB. As I get used to who everyone is here, that will help.

[mahler5]

I'm sarahtrpt from other board.

I do cloth diaper most of the time but I have to confess I have stopped recycling. In the old town we lived in last year you could throw all the recyclables in the same bin. It was so easy. In my new town you have to separate everything out. It is really not complicated but I am lazy and a creature of habit. We also really need to start composting. DW thinks we should wait until we move in the next year or so though.

I live in pseudo hippy liberal town in a red state. I wish I could say there are 4 lesbian families on our block. There's not. But there are quite a few LGBT families here. We just need to make an effort to meet more of them.

I'm SAHM now but don't really feel like I identify with SAHMs well. But I think a lot of SAHMs feel like that. I'm planning on either going back to work or school in the next year though. Although if we are lucky enough to get pregnant again I may push that back more.

I'm glad you posted this thread ( I already forgot your new screen name but remember you from old board). It's good to see all the old names here. I do hope more people post and keep this thread up.

I'm so sick of the cold weather and doing pretty much all indoor activities with C. I think she is getting bored at home and so am I! So this week we are going to try and get out more, even if it's just to the library or the store. I'm starting to feel like I don't stimulate her enough but then I am reminded that she mainly wants to perfect her walking and destroy stuff right now. But I want to be present with her and find teachable moments as much as possible. If I don't , there is really no point if SAH. I guess I'm just feeling like things are a little stagnate. Again , I can't wait until Spring!

[mrsnorris]

I'd certainly love to jump into more conversations on this board, as well. i'm much more active on my BMB but would love to settle in here too. I was never on the this board on TB (only on my BMB and I didn't even know the LGBT board existed) but I'm glad it's here. I have two DDs, one 14yo and one 5.5 mo. We foster-adopted older DD and I carried LO using a known donor. We live in SoCal. There aren't any other LGBT families in our neighborhood that I'm aware of (though there quite likely are) but I've never worried about that too much because LA is certainly not short on LGBT families. Until middle school DD1 went to a charter where I also taught and there were lots of LGBT families there so she had many friends and classmates who share those experiences. Now, she's in eighth grade and we homeschool and plan to continue doing so until she graduates high school so I confess I need to do a better job of finding other LGBT homeschoolers. In my limited experience the homeschool community seems to be about 20% crunchy hippy types and 80% hardcore conservative Christians and finding the ones amongst the 20% that we really connect with just feels like a lot of work, especially since we came to homeschooling so late (most people start when their kids are young) and because we're currently homeschoolers to best meet DDs special needs and not because we philosophically believe that it's the best choice for everyone or something. We do love it, though, and am not opposed to homeschooling DD2 as well.
The openness around donors is something we haven't really had to deal with yet since DD2 is so young but I never imagined being anything but open about it, in an age appropriate way, of course. It's not like she's going to grow up to adulthood imagining that we biologically created her unassisted. And I guess we have a good amount of experience with openness since we didn't meet DD1 until she was six and obviously her story has had many other important people in it before we came along.
We are vegetarians for a host of reasons and don't really eat fast food (though we do eat at Subway once in a while) but we are certainly not above soda, chips and other junk food! We cloth diaper, BF, and I push for us to buy organic when available and be more environmentally responsible (we have a compost bin, etc) but sometimes DW wants to just simplify so it's a constant give and take.
I SAH (only since LO was born) and don't know many other SAHMs in real life (only online) and I've been doing it for such a short time that I'm not sure yet how connected I feel to that experience and others going through it. It's possible that in the next couple of years I'll try to find a teaching job at a school where I'd like LO to attend K-8 or K-12 and get a nanny for a the girls. If not, I'll probably commit to homeschooling for the long haul (I would not want my children attending the regular public schools in my area because I disagree with the curriculum and a host of other things) and continue to SAH for the foreseeable future.

[wittyandwaiting]

We definitely need to get out groove back or maybe find an even better groove. I know I'm having a hard time keeping track of who is who and I'm also almost always on mobile so I don't see sigs which really help me get the context of posts if I am not familiar with the poster. I am missing some faces but like RM80 said, I'm sure we'll eventually settle, I think we're just still forming (any other sociology nerds thinking of the stages of group development?) and figuring out what we look like as a group.

So about me, I live in Ontario (Canada) in a fairly middle of the road community, not too much to the left or right but we definately don't have to worry about being gay in public. We landfilled our diapers with DS 13 years ago and will likely do the same with out future LO, I cook most of our dinners, we never do the nuggets but are all about the hashbrown and hotcakes at McDonalds. I recycle and green bin and get annoyed when items that shouldn't be in the garbage end up in there.

I found this thong thing (that was a funny typo so I shared it with you all) a little while ago called The Experience Project that features a QOTD....anybody interested in a QOTD here for a while until we get to know eachother better?

Edited to fix my funny typo above. 

[shemarie82]

My wife and I are TTC, and we will also wreck with world with diapers. I will be the carrying mama, but have no urge to breastfeed (I know...I know...I should want to), nor does my wife want to induce lactation.

We are also trying to become foster parents for a child aged 0-4, with the intent to adopt.

My wife has made a successful career out of working at McDonalds, so I am guessing, our child/ren will have the occasional happy meal.

We live in the middle of Michigan, one of the lovely states that still does not have marriage equality. We are in a fairly conservative area when it comes to voting, but are out without it being an issue. She comes from a family with a big name, and I am an active volunteer in too many things. Our marriage didn't cause as much of a stir as we had expected, thankfully. But, there is not a lot of diversity, so, our kids would be the only family, at this time in which they had same sex parents.

[RM80]

Feb 15, 2015 5:50:31 GMT -5 @sherminator said:

If it can be said that I have a pet peeve, or wish- it would be that coupled lesbian families be more open with their kids about donors- its very personal, and if I were in a couple I might see it a bit differently, but thats my sticky wicket. There are many many couples I know that havent discussed it. From my pov it would be great to be able to say- J all these kids have donors too! Which is true, but I cant, and dont.

This is an interesting topic and maybe one for a whole other post, but I find it odd that more L parents aren't open about their donors.  We plan to be very open, but that's just our personalities I guess.  Its not like its a mystery that a donor was needed for two mom's to create life.  Interesting!