Annual ungrateful toys post

[brachysira]

Well, it was present time with in-laws again.  This year I asked repeatedly that BIL reel it in or at least ask us before he bought any huge toys.  In-laws told me it was his only fun and to back-off.  So I made a list of many toys on Amazon our kids would like.  But he shops at Target the night before, apparently.  So if I post that we'd like Jungle Tracker or Robo dog from Paw Patrol, we instead get Paw Patrol books we already have.  If I post that we'd like a tunnel for our train set, we instead get a bunch of extra track we don't need.  Is there any solution?  Should I tell DD to not say "like the one we have at home!" every time she opens something she has?  It's in a cheerful tone but then DH has to quickly add "but it's in bad shape so we need a new one!" or something. Should I freecycle it to the people who have all they need in our neighborhood but who will pick it up at our door, or keep it for next year's Toys for Tots new toy drop-off?  Is there any way to curb this or do we just have to deal?  

We don't know what to do about BIL's gift either.  He is a hoarder and buys things like tractors at auctions all the time.  We give him food every year, but he buys us tons and the kids tons.  Should we get him more or keep with one gift of food that he doesn't even want?  Plus, every year for us I get a flashlight, tupperware, and some socks.  I wish that they could just not buy them and do kids only, but is there anyway to introduce this?  

[dc2london]

We teach our kids to say, "Oh wow, thank you so much!" for any gift they receive and, if it's something we don't need we donate it. Although I will confess when a family member sent the boys some rather expensive toy guns this Christmas I exchanged them for nonviolent toys I knew they wanted (still gave said family member the credit thought) 😶

[crimsonandclover]

We have introduced a kids-only present policy at Christmas. Or I should say inter generational only. We still get our parents presents, but no siblings. I think it's pretty easy to introduce, just say something like, "you know, we're all at an age now where we can buy ourselves the things we want, so how about if we stop getting each other presents and just get things for the kids?" Of course, the next question is whether he'll stick to it. My brother and I made the agreement a few years ago and he still got me something. It was awkward and made me feel really bad.