Future plans? Family Wise

[penguin129]

Not sure what to time this. Anyway what are your plans as of now when it come to your family? Are you done having babies? How are you preventing? Do you want more babies?

I've been posting a WTDS thread on GKU GKU but don't really go there. Would you ladies like a "waiting to do something" post here? It helps pass the time anyway.

[adouces06]

Not sure what our plan is. We always thought 3-4, but we have been rethinking it since DD arrived because babies/kids aren't cheap! We decided that if we do want more we will wait until fall of 2018 to start trying. As much as I love the age difference between my kids, it was hard being pregnant with a 1 year old who didn't understand as much, so I'd like DD to be just a little older. Until then, I am team condoms and just used my remaining FSA money from 2016 to buy two boxes of 36 condoms each. DH will be happy with that purchase!

[iwantbacon]

Very much done. IUD in place and hoping I can get DH on board with vasectomy.

[hikingmama222]

Realistically we are done at 2. Logistically it just makes sense for us. We've both said if money wasn't a factor we'd have more. I can see us maybe reevaluating in a few years. I just started the mini pill for now.

[macaronmama]

This is our first and we've agreed on two. The only question is whether we'll go for a biological kiddo again or adopt numero two. We had originally intended to adopt both the kids, adoption is really high on my list. We even had a dossier in South Africa when we conceived. But I think if we adopt the second around, we'll be doing foster-to-adopt here locally if we can. Not sure how different that'll be from the international process, jwinct I know you and DH had issues with the length and complications of your program.

[jwinct]

macaronmama - Yes, it was quite a long process, but we live in Connecticut, and I know the timeframes vary greatly state by state. It took us almost two years from start to finish to get licensed; there was so much waiting in between every single step. It was so ridiculous. And then when we were finally licensed, they were contacting us about kids that didn't fit our profile AT ALL, asking us to do respite care, which our profile says "NO" to, etc. It was so incredibly frustrating.


I am done having babies. DH and I will both be 41 this spring and the shop is closed. I'm on the same BCP I've been on for years - Sprintec (the generic of Orthocyclen). DH will not even consider getting a vasectomy, so I guess I'll just be on BCP until I go through menopause.

[wahooMOM13]

Definitely done having babies here! My H got his vasectomy at the beginning of December. I think 4 is plenty to keep us busy .

[danizee]

I want a 3rd but the idea of being pregnant again totally bums me out. We aren't using BC because with my first I didn't get my period until 11 months. Although I'm thinking I'll have to consider it now because DD is way better sleeper so far and I'm afraid it will make my cycle come back faster

[jillian]

We are done. We would love to have a 3rd, but we also like to eat and live in our house. A 3rd would only ever be an option if I get the promotion I am in school for within the next 2 years. I will be 36 and DH will be 41, so that's not too bad. But even then its a huge stretch. I would still be in school, with a toddler and a high schooler, and working full time. I think we are good with 2.

I got the mirena a few weeks ago. We discussed a vasectomy, but I would rather not have a period and get the mirena anyway.

[erien22846]

TBD. If I bring up having a 4th now, DH will likely get a vasectomy. I'll wait a few more months;)

Losing the twin this last pregnancy was very hard on me. I really feel like we were meant to have four kids and twins were going to complete your family. I still feel something missing. However, if I could some how skip the anxiety and morning sickness of the first trimester, that'd be ideal:)

Eta: no BC. I will never use it. Abstinence for now. But, honestly, given my PCOS, I don't think we have to worry about a surprise.

[vavavictoria]

I'm 60% done. I went into this pregnancy wanting three but saying I would see how two goes. At the moment even with an easier baby, two is hard. We have a two year gap and #1 is having a lot of issues with her moods at the moment. If we have a third we may do a 3 year gap. I'm just not sure yet. I think I'll wait until #2 is getting closer to 1.5 or 2 and then do some soul searching. I do know once we get past that 3 year gap we are most likely done.

ETA: I had mirena implanted a few weeks ago so that is what I plan on using until we make a final decision. At that point H will get a vasectomy if w are done. I had some minor issues mood and sleep wise after getting the mirena on 12.20 but as of today everything is back to normal. I am on day 10 of just enough bleeding to be a pain though.

[sanibel21]

I'm 99% sure we're done. I am very surprised by how difficult being pregnant, having a baby, having a toddler, being pregnant with a toddler, and now having a baby and toddler have been for me. I wanted this so bad, and I love my kids with all of my heart and soul, but I surprisingly did not adapt well to the difficulties of motherhood.
We use condoms. I've considered bcp or iud but I dunno.

[fem]

DH is 99% sure we're done at 2, I'd say I'm about 80% convinced. Two is hard, and expensive. I'm 30 now and got an IUD and if we still don't want a third 5 years from now DH will get a vasectomey.

Also at the moment I'm anti having another because I can't imagine having a kid my Mom doesn't get to meet. But I know that feeling could change as I go through the grieving process.

[penguin129]

Hugs erien22846, sanibel21 and fem.

[penguin129]

We are also 99% sure we're done. The Paragard was not a match for my body and I don't want anything with hormones because of my thyroid. Team condoms and possibly temping to avoid. I like knowing when to expect AF. The adjustment to two has been easier than I thought for me. It is my birth experiences both times around and the recovery from the second c section and NICU stay keeping me from wanting more. We have a 2 bedroom house and I want to go back to work one day. So we're most likely two and through. Post Partum Anxiety doesn't help either.

[ksyknelvr73]

Well, we have 3 kids and it's crazy, especially because they are all in totally different places development-wise. I can barely keep up with it all.

Emotionally I would have another one...financially absolutely not. All that being said, we are done. I am on BC until DH gets his vasectomy which is currently slated for summer of this year.

[britta]

I'm about 80% sure we're done with biological children. I hate being pregnant so, so much and can't imagine doing it again with TWO kids depending on me. DH is not a fan of the newborn phase and I'm already sort of dreading toddlerhood again, so there's that too. Financially, it makes sense to be done here. We'll be able to maintain our current lifestyle (me not *having* to work, etc) and that's important to us. There were 3 years exactly between our two and it seems like a pretty perfect age gap, so we'd want that again. And that would put me at AMA or very close to it, so we're not sure we want that either.

Adoption may be realistic for us when the boys are a bit older, as this is close to H's heart. We'll see how life goes until then.

For now, I'm team BCP until we 100% decide, then H will get a vasectomy.

ETA: Plusalso the Pre-E/HELLP syndrome. After having "borderline Pre-E" with DS1, and then full blown Pre-E/HELLP with my second (and continued high blood pressure for 8 weeks after), my OB said I have a greater than 50% chance of that happening with subsequent pregnancies. Plus, it raises the risk of cardiovascular issues later in life for me. Much DNW.

[smallpotato]

We are definitely done. MH is on board for a vasectomy. We live in a high COL state with no family close by, and it just would not be feasible for us. I also had a rough time this time around physically and turn 35 in August. I've also read that having pre-e with one pregnancy increases the risk of getting it in subsequent pregnancies. Since my pre-e was asymptomatic, I'm afraid it could develop again with no warning. People sometimes ask if we'd try for a girl and we say absolutely not. I told MH that when we found out G was a boy.

[dke2010]

I've always been 3-4, while DH says his max is 3. Financially and logistically it makes sense to stop but there are days I'd like one more. We're still fairly young (27), so we'll wait a few years to decide for sure. Just using condoms for now. I'll temp to avoid again when my cycle starts. DH will get a vasectomy eventually.

[Deleted]

TBD. Dh always said he wanted three. I despise odd numbers though so I'd have to have two more. Financially we could swing it, if we made some small adjustments. Like getting a bigger house lol.
I did not adjust well to having 2 kids. I'm literally going insane slowly everyday because of sleep deprivation.

If we do have any more, we won't even start trying until dd is 3 or 4 and in school.
However I may do a surrogacy next year. Pregnancy (other than spd) is fairly easy for me and as an added benefit with every pregnancy I increase my chance of being able to breastfeed. I'm only 29 so we've got time.

[jcrewgirl]

Team 99% done unless we win the lottery like @kitchen. I feel like our family is complete and am blessed to have a son and a daughter. I love being pregnant though so I always have this itch when I see other pregnant women.

We're using condoms for now.

[saraml13]

DS1 and DS2 are almost exactly two years apart. I think we want one more. Three has always been our theoretical number. Financially, we can make three work and have the space in our current house.

I'm torn, however. On one hand, I definitely don't feel done. As I've been packing away baby cloths DS2 has outgrown, I find myself automatically assuming that we'll have another kid. And I don't get pangs of "this is the last newborn I'll cuddle" because I just don't even tend to think about that at all.

But I wonder if I'm crazy for wanting a third. DH and I both work full time, and it's hard enough to juggle two. I think with a third we'd need to switch from daycare to a nanny plus part time preschool to avoid going insane. And I didn't have a particularly rough pregnancy, but I just do not enjoy being pregnant at all.

We like the two year age gap and don't want to space them out too much. If we're going to have a third I want to do it soon and be done with all the bulky baby gear and sleepless nights and diapers sooner rather than later.

Right now we're not using any BC. We haven't been DTD much at all, and I'm breastfeeding and haven't gotten my period back. With DS1, I didn't get it for 9 months pp. I know that's not foolproof, so I guess you could say we are NTNP.

@kitchen can you tell me
more about 2 to 3? I've heard the opposite, that adding a third is actually much harder because suddenly you are outnumbered.

[eponine1007]

H and I are torn. I want two and H just wants to stop at the one. Having another would be really hard financially and I can see where he's coming from, but I came from a large family and I'd love for DD to have a sibling... We will see when it comes time to renew the storage on our remaining embryo.

[ksyknelvr73]

Jan 6, 2017 22:17:26 GMT -5 saraml13 said:

DS1 and DS2 are almost exactly two years apart. I think we want one more. Three has always been our theoretical number. Financially, we can make three work and have the space in our current house.

I'm torn, however. On one hand, I definitely don't feel done. As I've been packing away baby cloths DS2 has outgrown, I find myself automatically assuming that we'll have another kid. And I don't get pangs of "this is the last newborn I'll cuddle" because I just don't even tend to think about that at all.

But I wonder if I'm crazy for wanting a third. DH and I both work full time, and it's hard enough to juggle two. I think with a third we'd need to switch from daycare to a nanny plus part time preschool to avoid going insane. And I didn't have a particularly rough pregnancy, but I just do not enjoy being pregnant at all.

We like the two year age gap and don't want to space them out too much. If we're going to have a third I want to do it soon and be done with all the bulky baby gear and sleepless nights and diapers sooner rather than later.

Right now we're not using any BC. We haven't been DTD much at all, and I'm breastfeeding and haven't gotten my period back. With DS1, I didn't get it for 9 months pp. I know that's not foolproof, so I guess you could say we are NTNP.

@kitchen can you tell me
more about 2 to 3? I've heard the opposite, that adding a third is actually much harder because suddenly you are outnumbered.

You sound exactly how I did after having DS2. I never had those "last baby" thoughts because I think I felt deep down we weren't done. I don't think going from 2-3 has been bad, personally. Oh it can be chaos for sure, but it already kind of was. We both work FT too. It's just really expensive, but worth it. We generally divide and conquer with one of us taking the 2 boys and one taking the baby. It works for us so far.