Extended BF and vacation

[bosco213]

I am still nursing my 18 m/o daughter anywhere from 2-5 times a day (consistently morning and bedtime, then before and after naps if I home, occasionally MOTN). My husband and I are going on a cruise and will be away for 8 nights. I am feeling a bit guilty that she will wean before she's ready (I would be totally fine with her weaning at this point, I'm ready, but I'm not sure she is).

So, a few questions:

1) Should I push her to wean before we go away? We have 3ish weeks until we leave. Or should I just wait and see if she just weans while we are away naturally? I plan to offer when I come back and if she wants it I will continue to nurse until she's ready to wean. I'm also a bit worried about MOTN wakeups while I'm gone and her becoming hysterical because she can't nurse. 

2) If she is not weaned, is it okay to just pump when I become uncomfortable or should I be pumping 2-5 times a day to mimic her nursing schedule? I don't want to totally destroy my supply just in case she does want to continue when we come back, but I don't want to be tied to the pump the entire time either. I suspect that I can go, at a minimum, 24 hours between pumps without be uncomfortable. It will also be the week before my period when my supply is typically quite low.

Thanks for any advice! Sorry if this is a hodgepodge. We earned this cruise for free (I'm a LLR consultant), and I'm excited to go and learn, grow my business, etc., and my husband and I absolutely need some time away, but I'm a bit panicky about leaving her that long. 

[emmyg65]

Do you have pumped milk you'll leave for her?

Since you don't want to wean, don't! I'd still pump twice a day while you're gone and hope for the best when you return.

[lilyelayne]

Never been away from my toddler that long but good luck! Hope everything goes smoothly! And I'll be following for an update when you get back, as I'm considering a similar length trip away from my son just after his second birthday :-)

[bosco213]

Jan 13, 2017 16:06:07 GMT -5 emmyg65 said:

Do you have pumped milk you'll leave for her?

Since you don't want to wean, don't! I'd still pump twice a day while you're gone and hope for the best when you return.

Nope, she drinks WCM from a cup. She won't drink BM from a cup. I'm just' not sure she'll drink that at night as a substitute from the boob.

I know I was totally unclear, but I don't really care if she weans or not - I'm fine either way. I'm just not sure if "cold turkey" will be too hard for her and if I should wean beforehand or not. Or if I should just take a wait and see approach and if she wants it when I get back, cool, if not then I'm totally fine being done.

I definitely don't want to pump 2x a day either way unless I'm uncomfortable. I'm 10000% over the pumping aspect of BF! My plan was to shoot for every 36 hours or so (lefty is barely producing anyway). I'm not sure if that will irreparably damage my supply but I guess it's a chance I'm willing to take.

[hurricanerek]

So I left my DD1 for five days back in July. She was still nursing, the difference is that I was also 31 weeks pregnant so my supply was minimal anyway. When I came back, she went right back to nursing like nothing happened. I didn't pump at all because I wasn't responding to the pump anymore.

I think if you pump every day or so, you most likely won't dry up while you are away. You may see a drop in supply but it doesn't sound like that would bother you too much. You could try to push to wean her before your trip but if that seems too stressful, I'd just go with the flow. She may wean while you are away or she may start dropping feeds as your supply goes down. Just make sure you pump when uncomfortable so you avoid plugged ducts and mastitis.

Your trip sounds amazing! Have a great time!

[Deleted]

I had to cold turkey wean my 16 month old due to a conflict w a medication and the flu dropping my supply and my son took it well. I think I had a harder time with it. Once I finished the medication I tried to nurse him and he pointed at my boob, laughed at it and said no.

[saraml13]

So, this is a little different than your situation, but with DS1 I weaned at 12.5 weeks right before I had to go on a 7-night international business trip. I had stopped pumping at work and did not want to deal with pumping on what was going to be a long, busy trip.

I had cut out one nursing session each week until I was down to just once a day, usually before bed. When I wasn't around, he would go to bed fine with a bottle of WCM instead. Then I was gone for a week, and he did fine for DH without nursing at all. When I came back, I was still very engorged and offered to nurse. After a week away, DS1 wasn't very enthusiastic about nursing and I had to encourage him a couple times at each breast to get him to nurse. He at least took the edge off the fullness in each breast, but never showed any interest in nursing after that.

[bosco213]

Jan 14, 2017 8:27:29 GMT -5 hurricanerek said:

So I left my DD1 for five days back in July. She was still nursing, the difference is that I was also 31 weeks pregnant so my supply was minimal anyway. When I came back, she went right back to nursing like nothing happened. I didn't pump at all because I wasn't responding to the pump anymore.

I think if you pump every day or so, you most likely won't dry up while you are away. You may see a drop in supply but it doesn't sound like that would bother you too much. You could try to push to wean her before your trip but if that seems too stressful, I'd just go with the flow. She may wean while you are away or she may start dropping feeds as your supply goes down. Just make sure you pump when uncomfortable so you avoid plugged ducts and mastitis.

Your trip sounds amazing! Have a great time!

Thanks, this is exactly what I was looking for! I went away in July for a few days and she latched right on when I came back, but she was younger. I got a pretty bad clog because I just do not respond well to the pump. I will definitely pump when I'm uncomfortable, which, judging on the fact that she spent a night with her grandma this weekend, is about 36 hours. 

[bosco213]

Jan 15, 2017 9:37:10 GMT -5 opheliainwaders said:

I had to go on a week-long work trip when my DD was about 18m; I pumped whenever I had a chance/got uncomfortable, and she basically just picked up where she left off when I got back. My supply wasn't great at that point anyway, but she went on to nurse another 9-10m? I think generally if they want to keep nursing, a week away won't stop them, but if your DD is close to being done, then she might wean. I second the vote to go with the flow; I think since you won't be there, she won't be looking to nurse while you're gone, and you can just see what she does when you're back.

wow, thanks! If I left it up to her, I definitely do not think she is close to weaning on her own. I've successfully been able to skip only a handful of feeds when she would normally nurse without her throwing a shit fit. If I'm not around, she doesn't care at all (my mom watches her a few days a week and she doesn't even ask, and she stayed over night and only mentioned "mommas milk" once), but if I'm there, she won't generally skip nursing at bedtime or naptime. 

[bosco213]

Jan 16, 2017 14:45:55 GMT -5 saraml13 said:

So, this is a little different than your situation, but with DS1 I weaned at 12.5 weeks right before I had to go on a 7-night international business trip. I had stopped pumping at work and did not want to deal with pumping on what was going to be a long, busy trip.

I had cut out one nursing session each week until I was down to just once a day, usually before bed. When I wasn't around, he would go to bed fine with a bottle of WCM instead. Then I was gone for a week, and he did fine for DH without nursing at all. When I came back, I was still very engorged and offered to nurse. After a week away, DS1 wasn't very enthusiastic about nursing and I had to encourage him a couple times at each breast to get him to nurse. He at least took the edge off the fullness in each breast, but never showed any interest in nursing after that.

Good to know, thanks! I'm assuming you meant 12.5 months, but if that was our situation I would be totally fine with it. It seems to me that it might be easier that way rather than forcing her to wean when I come back. 

[saraml13]

Jan 16, 2017 15:22:32 GMT -5 bosco213 said:

Jan 16, 2017 14:45:55 GMT -5 saraml13 said:

So, this is a little different than your situation, but with DS1 I weaned at 12.5 weeks right before I had to go on a 7-night international business trip. I had stopped pumping at work and did not want to deal with pumping on what was going to be a long, busy trip.

I had cut out one nursing session each week until I was down to just once a day, usually before bed. When I wasn't around, he would go to bed fine with a bottle of WCM instead. Then I was gone for a week, and he did fine for DH without nursing at all. When I came back, I was still very engorged and offered to nurse. After a week away, DS1 wasn't very enthusiastic about nursing and I had to encourage him a couple times at each breast to get him to nurse. He at least took the edge off the fullness in each breast, but never showed any interest in nursing after that.

Good to know, thanks! I'm assuming you meant 12.5 months, but if that was our situation I would be totally fine with it. It seems to me that it might be easier that way rather than forcing her to wean when I come back. 

Yes, 12.5 months!

[manybellsdown]

I didn't see it addressed, so I will join in to say I wouldn't worry about MOTN. I left my 15mo for a 3-day weekend, and she had gotten into the habit of waking around 5am, eating, and then going back down for another couple hours. When I wasn't there, she awoke the first night, my MIL rocked her, and she soon realized there wouldn't be milk. By the end of the weekend, she had actually kicked the 5am wake-up altogether. There wasn't any hysteria/upset, at least not past the first night. (And I also credit it with a return to STTN that I'm not sure would have happened then otherwise!) We kept nursing morning and bedtime till 20mo.

Just wanted to add in in case you can release any worries about this part.