XP from CAR

[honeylemon]

Hi! I've trained as a doula and there was a lady in my workshop who hadn't given birth and had no plans to have children. I don't think it's as uncommon as one would assume. I would totally hire a doula who had never given birth.

I love the idea of having a focus towards loss/IF. I'm not currently working right now, but before I start back, I want to train through stillbirthday's bereavement doula program so I can add that to my list of specialties (I plan on focusing mostly on postpartum). If you haven't looked into that, you may be interested in something like that too.

[happyin14]

I would have loved it. My doula was pretty great but weird about the loss... She wanted me to talk about it, but what would have been more helpful is someone who would embrace the advocacy part of it more. Someone to be at the hospital/triage helping answer questions.

Getting into my personal birth story, I ended up going in for my NST and staying. It was terrifying. And I wish someone had been there to share my history and reassure me. It's just not where anyone was focused. Instead the nurse sent in a Chaplain to discuss my son's loss which made us feel like something was wrong with THIS baby. I think if my doula had been there, some of that wouldn't have happened. Almost like I needed a spiritual advocate as much as a natural advocate.

I don't know that the certification process really has space for this... But if I were to be a doula and I had a client with intense loss or trouble conceiving, I would also plan on being there no matter what. Even if it was a planned c-section.

And no, it wouldn't bug me that my doula hadn't given birth.

[meladorie]

I think it's a fantastic idea. I had considered a doula and I was very specifically researching those who specialize in pregnancy after loss as well as high risk pregnancy. For me, that was the top factor (well, along with overall experience). In my research I was interested in number of families helped but definitely not whether the doula had her own kids. I could see it being a con for some women but I think that many women, especially those pregnant after loss/IF, wouldn't mind at all.

FWIW, I absolutely don't think you're crazy. If it's what you want to do, I say go for it. I've already seen the amount of support and knowledge you bring to the AL boards and I think you would be a great doula.

[puglife5869]

I think it's a wonderful idea. For me, being understanding about the losses would be much more important than whether you had given birth.

[chknma]

Personal birth experience wouldn't change my mind if I found the right person. I would hire based on having the credentials, learning about the doulas supportive "style" and personality fit. I think it would be helpful to have a doula with loss and IF training- I think they would have a different perspective for mothers that need higher level care, monitoring and medical intervention.

I work in palliative care and have thought about doing something similar so I say go for it!

I would do some research in your area with newer and established doulas about the community's use of doulas and income potential of you need a certain income to make it work.

Very exciting! Keep us posted!

[madameovary]

I don't think it would be a big deal at all. I didn't ask my OB/ nurses if they had given birth. Training trumps personal anecdotes. Boom. Also, women seeking the service of a doula might be more open to that anyway, maybe? Good luck!

[starmile]

My doula had kids, but the main reason I hired her was her loss history and the fact that she was a Stillbirthday doula. I think it's awesome you're going to do this!

[kels09]

I think it's a fantastic idea. Although I wasn't awake for the birth of the boys I think having some one who understands is priceless in times like that. I also don't think having kids matter. DoesItComeInPink, said it perfectly, it's knowing how to help get through the moment that matters most.

I really hope you move forward with it. I know you'd be great at giving the type of support that is needed in crisis. You have done it so much for this community already.

[mamato4]

I think this is an amazing idea. I would not hesitate for one minute to hire a doula who never gave birth. My DH never gave birth, yet he was an amazing labor coach. Totally supportive and knowing exactly what I needed. I use the midwives and the one who delivered DD was my fave the whole time and the one I was hoping would be on call come the big day. She had a couple previous losses and seemed to get all my fears. She had been there herself and that just gave us a special connection, if you know what I mean.
I think this is a beautiful thing you are thinking of doing. Good luck as you possibly start this new journey.

[roxycc55]

I would absolutely love that sort of thing. To me, it would be much less important to have someone who had given birth than someone who had gone through a loss.

[mrsbutton]

Just like said above, having that aspect to offer of experience and empathy with a PGAL woman would be such a great thing, I think...

[inaya]

I agree with others that having someone who understands loss and trouble TTC would be very valuable. I'd rank that more important than having a doula who had given birth. That said, in full honesty, I can see myself imagining what you would be thinking and feeling through the whole labor & birth process. It was something I thought about just having my mom in the room when I was in labor, because I was adopted and she never experienced pregnancy or birth firsthand. However, it wouldn't be a big deal, and I'm sure a lot of women wouldn't even think about it. It's not something that would prevent me from choosing a doula, either. Being in that support role is a unique position, and I think that if this is something you're interested in pursuing, you should do it. You'd bring a very important point of view to it.