Independent Adoption Center

[kym]

It's also very unsettling to the people who were procured for shipment via IAC. 

Before an adoption, much attention is given to the little child or baby.  However, after an adoption, that same little baby/child or now-adult is forgotten or ignored, just as you have done, JuliaGulia.

To the adoptees who were transported via IAC, this is unsettling.  IAC, like many/most adoption agencies hold and maintain the adoptees' records/histories/identities/vital records for "safe-keeping" or control.  Now, with this sudden closure, what's going to happen to adoptees' records/histories/identities/vital for the many who seek confidential and private answers about themselves? 

Does IAC care?  No, their business model was in getting paid by adopters.  Did JuliaGulia even notice or think of how this would impact the adoptees?  Clearly not.

Southern California, IAC's former home base, and several other states where IAC does their child shipping business, still don't have laws making it legal for adoptees, once of adult age, to obtain their unaltered birth certificate through objective, non-discriminatory means, without extraneous restrictions.  Did IAC do anything to support the human rights of adoptees they had gotten paid for shipping, once those adoptees become adults?

So, yes, sudden closures without next-steps or SOPs for all those types of parents is wrong, but it's equally, if not more wrong, to do this to adoptees who were mere infants/children when IAC used their little beings for their annual multi-million dollar (non-profit) business, adoptees who are forever denied access to their unaltered birth certificate, by state laws in most states where IAC profited.

[akafred]

JuliaGulia absolutely mentioned vital records in her post and did not neglect anyone. How awful of you to attack her for passing along information. But, clearly you have an agenda. Best wishes to everyone affected by this closure.

[redandblue]

Thank you for passing along this info @juliagulia. And ugh kym for coming here with an alias and trolling this page. I'm sorry for all those that are impacted by this information.

[kym]

redandblue ,
OK, that must be your real name, not an alias, right? Because what sort of people would stoop to using an alias? Not you, of course.

And yes, what sort of people would throw accusations of trolling when they are pointing out what appears to be true and correct? Most likely, the sort of people who are guilty of doing exactly what was pointed out, despite it being morally wrong (and in this case, overly selfish and exploitative).

At least JuliaGulia admitted her wrongdoing and explained how she came to overlook the MOST integral and affected person in these adoptions. Unlike you, who likely, continues to consider adoptees as a tool to reach your personal goals, something/one who can be easily overlooked, and shouldn't dare point out that adoptees are actually people - with dignity, feelings, histories, identities, relationships, connections that matter.

redandblue , if you're hoping to adopt, I hope that you'll reconsider your aspirations or that you won't be selected. You've got a lot to learn, and a lot more respect to give to others, especially to people like those you hope to adopt. Isn't adoption a lifelong commitment to assume responsibility and try to do the best possible for the well-being, respect, dignity, development, fair/equal treatment, human rights of a vulnerable child, aka future-adult? So far, you get an "F".

If you have adopted or still hope to adopt, then do better and behave better. Much better. Children who have already lost their family members, identity and been displaced, deserve much better than your justification/defense (via childish accusations) at overlooking their existence, dignity, humanity, and connections.

[kym]

@juliagulia,
Thank you for your reply and justification. It was alarming that you listed just about everyone else directly impacted by adoption, including those who are part of not-even-yet-completed adoption (adoptive parents, expecting parents, first parents, hopeful adoptive parents), but, as is too often the case, the person AT THE CENTER of the adoption, and the MOST voiceless, and the MOST impacted by adoption, was completely forgotten.

Before an adoption, but when hopeful for an adoption, many talk about the child's best interest, how adoption will be so good for the child (meanwhile, child can do or say nothing on his/her own behalf). But, after an adoption, and once the child grows up (is no longer cute or malleable), s/he is ignored repeatedly.

No one/few listen(s) to adoptees who have been decrying for decades the unjust, discriminatory LAWS that legally and permanently seal an adult off from his/her own government-issued vital records, without his/her knowledge or consent, or require the now-adult adoptee to beg, plead, pay extra money, exert/waste much more time and energy to be treated equally to never-adopted adults.

No one/few listen(s) to adoptees who have shared their experiences of being trafficked, kidnapped, sold, bought; been exploited to satisfy the hopeful dreams and aspirations of complete strangers on the other side of the world; had their identities stolen, erased, personal and family histories fabricated through corrupt practices and wrapped nicely in a pretty bow called adoption.

No one/few listen(s) to adoptees who have attempted or committed suicide due to their struggles of trying to navigate their lives in a world where they are mistreated, taken for granted, overlooked, and considered less-than. You may already know this, but studies have shown that adoptees have 4x the rate of suicidal thoughts or attempts than the never-adopted. Why? Perhaps, because the trauma of adoption and being amputated from one's roots (as what happens in adoptions and adoption laws) is too much to bear alone, without support or respect?

Thank you for at least acknowledging your mistake in overlooking the most impacted person in any adoption. I do hope the Bureaus of Vital Records will start issuing adults' birth certificates to the person born without further discrimination against those who happen to have been adopted as a child through no fault of that former child/now adult.

Also, while I'm sorry to hear that several have been swindled by an organization, many, many families around the world have been swindled, tricked, lied to, and/or forced into adoptions they never understood or never wanted - Ethiopia, Dem. Republic Congo, Guatemala, S. Korea, Colombia, Sierra Leone, Romania, USA, Denmark, India, Cambodia, Vietnam, Mexico, Australia, etc. Independent Adoption Center capitalized and profited plenty off of swindling many families of their children and parents, and exploiting adoption laws to increase their OWN bottom line (net $millions annually for IAC).

So, it's difficult for me to feel MORE sorry for those who WANTED to pay money and support a profitable industry made successful via lies, corruption, exploitation of the less powerful, fraud, force, gaslighting so that they could achieve their own personal dreams (and get subsidized via tax credits and donations), while others are left to suffer in deeply personal, profound, long-lasting ways (often because they are less powerful, poor, or of an ethnic/racial minority). Those who wanted to pay money for essentially buying a child could have spent a fraction of that money they paid to instead help a struggling family support and keep their own children. It's possible to love a child without removing a child from family/origins and without claiming the title of "parent" or "mom/dad". Aunties/uncles, grandparents do it all the time.

Still, at a personal level, it's nice to see others achieve their biggest dreams and sad when they can't. But, I do wish hopeful adoptive parents would adjust their dreams to something that didn't exacerbate the heartache and injustices built into adoption practices and laws. Then, I could feel more empathy when/if they can't achieve their dreams. It would also be nice if those who want me to empathize with them and their plight would empathize with us and so much that we have lost due to the for-profit adoption industry.

[akafred]

Do not call the women here "overly selfish and manipulative" because we wish to adopt or have adopted. There are issues with the adoption industry, and no one here will argue against that. But everyone here is extremely careful to do the right thing to avoid any manipulation or coercion or sketchy practices etc, all the way down to using the right language and becoming as knowledgable as possible about the applicable laws. There is NOTHING more important to any of us than the children affected by adoption.

[lbey]

Wow.Kym, I dont know you or where you are from, but it sounds like you have a lot of anger in your heart. I would recommend some therapy to help you deal with that. i cannot imagine how difficult it is to live with so much anger.

I adopted my daughter at age of 8. She had a really hard past and she is finally getting everything she needs to be a successful adult (well, as much as she can be). Her birth family had all sorts of assistance before tpr happened, but chemical dependency and mental illness got in the way and they just couldn`t parent. Sometimes it is not about money. I paid for the agency to provide the services I needed to navigate the world of adoption, not for my child. And guess what? I am doing it again! I kept my daughter`s original birth certificate and all court reports, but that is as much as I have for when she grows up.

Best wishes for you and hope you can find some peace somehow...