Mental Health Check In-2/8

[britta]

Paging: sanibel21, penguin129, smallpotato, @kitchen, iwantbacon, mg0202

Please. Feel free to join in, even if you were not tagged. We've gotten out of the habit of these and I was thinking it may be helpful.

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle:

Recent related difficulties/vent:

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health:

QOTW/GTKY: What does your support system look like? Who is one person you know you can count on when you're struggling?

[macaronmama]

Haven't posted in awhile, so I guess I can start?

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: Generalized Anxiety + PPD

Recent related difficulties/vent: Zoloft has been working decently well for me since starting it around Thanksgiving. I have forgotten it twice now, and the side effects of forgetting it linger for a few days and it's noticeable - I get very withdrawn, weepy, and now kinda snappish. Forgot it this morning (uuuuugh new schedules) and am not looking forward to the backlash tonight. Doc also up'd my prescription amount and extended my meds for another three months and said we'll check and see how I'm doing then.

Last week was stressful - I was sick, forgot my meds, DH was a wreck due to travel, and my sis was a PITA. I just get so frustrated with DH and my sis for not doing better at self-care and then I have to deal with their breakdowns. Come on guys - if I go see a therapist, eat better, workout, and take depression meds to keep functioning, SO CAN YOU.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health: Trying to be more patient with DH and my sis, cause when I get worked up now, it's harder to let it go than it was before the baby was born. I'm working on regaining some of my zen. The Arm/Leg challenge is helping. Doing some projects around the house also makes me feel like I have some more control over my life/space.

I need to see my therapist again soon. Just don't know when I can fit her in with all the commute issues/daycare pickup/etc.

QOTW/GTKY: What does your support system look like? Who is one person you know you can count on when you're struggling?
Er... my mom, DH. And that's mostly for venting, though DH does a lot more to make sure I'm sane when he is home - takes the baby, gets me some alone gaming time, brings me tea, etc. If my bestie lived closer, I'd probably ask her out, but she also checks in from time to time.

[macaronmama]

Also, sanibel21 , I know you mentioned in the other thread you were having issues with Zoloft. My doc warned me about the insomnia, but only that it was temporary while you adjust to the meds. I was also a little nauseated, but it was all gone by two weeks after I had started taking it in the mornings. I hope you find it helps you in the long run.

[sanibel21]

Thank you macaronmama. I slept better last night so I'm hoping it's shortlived. Glad to hear your side effects subsided. Do you mind me asking what dose you're on? Are you breastfeeding also?
I'm sorry for the frustrations with your DH and sister. I would definitely be frustrated in that situation also. And such a bummer that symptoms recur if you forget taking the zoloft.

[sanibel21]

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: Anxiety

Recent related difficulties/vent:
I feel like I've entered new territory after having started zoloft Monday. I definitely am finding myself feeling and thinking a little differently from time to time. It is so strange. I hope the insomnia was just the one night.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health:
Rearranging sleeping arrangements to get me some sleep.
Tried some formula to alleviate worries about supply and try to get her some sleep. We're putting a hold on that because of the rash.
Trying to understand and accept toddler behavior and not see it as a reflection on me or a sign of the future.

QOTW/GTKY: What does your support system look like? Who is one person you know you can count on when you're struggling?
DH listens to me and tries very hard to make life easier on me. But he doesn't understand and can't really help get me out of my spirals.
My mom listens a ton.
I have a couple mom friends with the same struggles who understand and can commiserate.
I go to therapy every couple weeks.

[sanibel21]

I feel like I'm dependant on my toddler. Like if she's upset I'm all squirrely. If she's happy I can breathe. It's messed up.

[macaronmama]

sanibel21 I am also exclusively BFing at the moment, if my supply keeps up (on my cycle atm, so it's down, ugh). I didn't find that DS had any reaction to the zoloft. I was taking 25mg for the past 2.5 months, and the doc just up'd it to 50mg. He said it was still a super low, low dose. It could have been that the bad reaction to me forgetting the meds is also just bad because it tends to coincide when other things are going wrong/are stressful.

I hope you get some sleep soon - that is what helps me the most. As for feeling dependent on the toddler, you are probably empathetic like me - anything anyone is feeling always affects me. You cry, I cry. You are happy, I am happy, etc. etc. I know I'm going to struggle with that as DS gets older. I recommend asking your DH for a little more me-time to reconnect with yourself and your own feelings if you can.

[britta]

macaronmama I so apologize for forgetting to tag you. I was trying to do it from memory and failed. 😩

sanibel21 my mood/state of mind is totally dependent on my kids too. When they're good, I'm good. When it's a shitshow, I'm this close to breaking down. I've also learned I can handle just about anything if I'm dealing with them in small doses. So, the days they go to daycare, if they both come home whiny wrecks I tolerate it so much better than when they're whiny wrecks and I've been home all day with them. So that makes me feel great.

I'll be back at some point to post my update.

[penguin129]

I'm glad you posted this britta. I'll be back in the morning.

[smallpotato]

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: Anxiety with depression

Recent related difficulties/vent: Things have been rough with the boys being sick and no one getting a lot of sleep. MH and I really need a break from the kids, but it's hard when there's no one around to help out. We've been really short with each other at times, which never really happened before. I think being home alone with the boys has been much harder for MH than he expected, and I bear the brunt of his frustrations. N is still acting out at times; we have an appointment with the pedi on Monday to discuss our concerns and see what we can do to help him.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health: I need to talk to my mom to see if she would be willing to come down and watch the boys so MH and I can go out one night. I also had an appointment with my PCP a few weeks ago, and we talked about increasing my Zoloft dosage. I haven't done it yet, but I think I may start next week. I also want to come up with a plan to give MH some alone time on the weekends, but I'm not sure how to go about that just yet.

QOTW/GTKY: What does your support system look like? Who is one person you know you can count on when you're struggling? I tend to lean on MH, but it's been tough lately. I know I can talk to my mom about anything, and I have a good friend I can lean on too. Plus you guys

[smallpotato]

macaronmama, I've missed doses of Zoloft before, too, and it takes me several days to get back to normal. I didn't have any with me when G was in the hospital in November, and I swear it took me a week to feel like myself again. Every time I think I may be ready to wean, I remember how I felt when I forgot to take it, and that's enough to keep me on it.

sanibel21, I've been on 50mg since the beginning, and I've noticed no negative side effects in either N or G. I EPed for N and G is EBF, and my PCP had no issue with me upping my dosage (to 100MG) if I needed to. I felt a difference almost immediately (probably placebo effect), but it made me feel like I made the right decision.

My moods directly correlate with the kids' behavior and amount of sleep I get. I also tend to feed off of MH's moods. I can have a great day, but if bedtime is a disaster, it's like the whole day is ruined for me. I know I need to shake it off, but it's so hard.

[sanibel21]

smallpotato I'm so glad your appt is coming up on Monday and hope you get some support. Definitely call for babysitting asap!! You guys deserve it!
@kitchen hope the nanny situation becomes comfortable for everyone and that you can get some more of that alone time to recharge soon.

[mg0202]

Anxiety

Overall doing pretty well. Weaning off the Zoloft again to see how it goes. So far going well. We are starting to get a better routine with me being back at work. It is hectic, but we get it done.

I am having a hard time with the politics going on right now. I am very upset about a lot of the EO, the nominations, the planned changes, pretty much everything. DD starts kindergarten this fall and I am worried about the education system. I am also saddened by people who support him that I consider friends. My SIL is a huge supporter and it is causing family strain. Don't mean to make this a political post, but it is the thing I am having the hardest time with right now.

I am trying to counter this with getting involved. I went to the march in DC, sending emails, making calls. It is helping finding others who are also wanting changes.

[mg0202]

Sanibel21. I was taking Zoloft at night and was having horrible insomnia. I switched to taking it in the morning with food and it helped.

[penguin129]

macaronmama I'm glad to hear the Zoloft is helping. Sorry your H and sister not getting treated and adding to your stress. Have they told you why they aren't open to it?
sanibel21 I hope you continue to see improvements with the Zoloft and that your new sleeping arrangements help you get more sleep. What formula are you using? Maybe the rash is from something else.
smallpotato I hope you and your H are able to get some alone time without the kids soon. I also hope you get some answers about N on Monday. Why does the PCP want to increase your dosage?
@kitchen I hope the nanny helps you and your H and you can get some more time together. Hopefully you and the nanny find your groove in the partnership you'll have.
mg0202 Good luck weaning off the Zoloft. I think it is great that you are being proactive and contacting people to make change.

[penguin129]

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Recent related difficulties/vent: I can't tell what is driving me to try and pursue forming a non-profit. Is it just my way of coping with the experience I had, is it something else? I just don't know. I dropped off some more bags at the RMHC yesterday and then talked to the head of the NICU about my ideas and she sounded very open to what I was saying. Fast Forward to today and the call I made to someone who does all the paperwork for non-profits and files it... I found out he would do all the paperwork for $1,000. I asked Mr. P about it (even though I knew the answer would be no and I knew in my heart that isn't a good thing for us to do right now) and he confirmed it wasn't a good idea and told me there are other ways I can help out. He said if I really wanted to do it I should make a Go Fund Me.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health: I'm taking Celexa and haven't increased dosage yet. Most days are good. I think I am going to call the mental health place I go to on Monday and schedule a counseling session. I need a neutral party to talk things over with. I also might go to the NICU support group at the hospital Little P was born at. It is for babies and parents who had a NICU experience in the past or who are currently in the NICU so the families who experienced a NICU stay before can help those families in the NICU now.

QOTW/GTKY: What does your support system look like? Who is one person you know you can count on when you're struggling? Mr. P is pretty much my only support I can count on. We have other family members really close by but they all have their own things going on. Mr. P's mom also has anxiety and I noticed now that I have anxiety sometimes it makes hers worse if that makes any sense.