Announcing at Work (XP Pregnancy)

[marshian]

Did you do anything special to announce your pregnancy at work? I'm debating on bringing in a treat. I don't necessarily like the attention, but I've heard some people say they found it odd when other coworkers didn't announce and just assumed everyone could figure it out.

I can go public as early as 2/21 (after I tell my boss). It will be close to Mardi Gras so one idea I had was to make a King Cake and then put a sign saying something like "You won't find a baby in this cake because it's in Marshian's belly!" Cute? Corny?

Not necessary / Bad idea to announce at all?

ETA: I work at a client site, but there are at least 5 of my company coworkers here on various projects. We're all close. And I'm close with my project team and my previous project team, who are all in the office. I would say there's about 15 people who will be excited by the news or at least interested in hearing it. The client is pretty informal and we blend in and are often mistaken as being client employees. 

[k3am]

I have never heard of anyone bringing in anything cute for announcing.

I think by announcing, people are typically just referencing letting people know. I told my boss pretty early and just assumed everyone else knew since he has a big mouth.

ETA: I think you're in consulting, if memory serves. Please don't do this. ETA2: By "this" I mean cutesy cake stuff. It's good for friends/family, but it just seems awkward for a professional environment. 

[sudokufan]

Eh, I took the route of telling my boss and 2 closest work friends, and that I was ok with them sharing the news. Then at lunch a few days later with a bigger group, I stole one friend's dill pickle, she accused me of being a walking stereotype and I told her to be grateful I wasn't dipping it in chocolate. I could practically SEE the light bulbs going on over people's heads. Message delivered and understood and word spread without being awkward.

But we're a pretty informal group and I knew that 2 of the 3 I told would spread the word far and wide once I gave the OK. Everyone else here seems to have taken a similar approach.

[marshian]

k3am - Yes, I work in consulting. I should have added (and will in the OP) that this client is very informal. I've been here over a year and know at least 15 people in the office very well. There are at least 5 other people at this same site from my company working on various projects. I already bake treats for our team members' birthdays and people do cards and such.

It's a good consideration about coming off too informal. I'll have to talk to the one coworker who knows I'm KU and get her thoughts.

[xctsclrx]

I would let your boss know and let your friends know, but I would not formally announce at work. Just let people know naturally. No awkwardness then.

[twinmomma]

Do you have meetings with those coworkers - for status updates, project work, etc? I'd just mention it during a meeting like that and not make a whole special thing out of it. That seems like it would be awkward.

[marshian]

Feb 9, 2017 16:12:34 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Do you have meetings with those coworkers - for status updates, project work, etc? I'd just mention it during a meeting like that and not make a whole special thing out of it. That seems like it would be awkward.

Yes, we have regular meetings. So many meetings. 

I like that idea. 

[Deleted]

I never formally announced. I went public at 13 weeks with my first, and people inundated me with pregnancy questions the whole time. It seemed like it was literally all they talked about, and it was a high risk pregnancy, so I didn't want to talk about it.

The second time I told at 17 weeks- people had begun to figure it out a little. I was glad I waited. If I could have been the person to wait until 20 weeks I totally would have- but I am short and can't hide it that long.

My coworker waited until 20 weeks and then her boss announced it in a meeting (she had asked boss to announce it). 

[liziz]

We always just give our receptionist news and then suddenly everyone knows. But maybe you don't have one of those at your office!

I wouldn't do anything cutesy, but I would tell the people most likely to blab that it's OK to do so, and if you're in a meeting, bring it up.

[marshian]

@clarypax - I'm already at 21 weeks and only really waiting to come out about it until I tell my boss, which I will do after our annual review discussion next week. I'm also short and I'm starting to show. This week I started wearing loose shirts and blazers.

liziz - Since I work at the client site, the receptionist isn't really *my* receptionist, though she is sweet. We work with specific groups of people in the office. That would have been an easy way to go, though!

[sdlaura]

Hi from June 17, marshian! Typically when I hear about people doing announcements where they bring a treat, they tend to work at a school or hospital or (I hope this doesn't sound sexist) female-dominated workplace. I work in a male-dominated industry and no one has done that here.

For me, after I told my bosses, when I'd run into people in the kitchen or hallway or whatever and we made normal chitchat, I'd say something like "so, you may have noticed I'm expecting another baby" or something along those lines.

[marshian]

Hi sdlaura! Totally agree with your observation about where you tend to see announcements (especially cutesy ones).

[2chatter]

I'm kind of totally over everything being a giant deal. Those little I'm sorry bags for air travel, gender reveals that are insanely complicated and involve a photo shoot, newborn sessions that are a "series" and held weekly, half birthdays - really it's the over the top cutesying of everything that kills me. Please don't spread that to work - it's the safe place where that kind of weirdness is mostly avoided.

[marshian]

2chatter - I'm so with you on most of the things you listed.

[suelou18]

It's tradition in our office (less than 15 people) to bring in treats with any kind of 'news'. We also have a voluntary treat sign-up for every Friday in the office. Basically, we just like treats and any excuse to have them.

[librarychica]

Feb 9, 2017 16:12:34 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Do you have meetings with those coworkers - for status updates, project work, etc? I'd just mention it during a meeting like that and not make a whole special thing out of it. That seems like it would be awkward.

This is what I did both times. I don't bring in baked goods (I work primarily with men and you bring in one plate of cookies and you'll be organizing social events for the rest of your career) but if you work in that kind of place, I wouldn't side-eye it. I wouldn't go any cuter than that.

[Widget123]

If you have an social like events with them like going out to lunch or anything like that you could announce there or otherwise i like the announce at a meeting idea. I agree you want to avoid doing it in too much of a AW way

[erinshelley21]

I didn't have to do announce since I work with 2 people, but my moms office had a pregnancy announcement. The mom to be brought in donuts for after one of their staff meetings and wrote a note from the baby to the coworkers saying something along the lines of "please eat these so my mommy doesn't have to eat them all" and everyone loved it. It's a really fun office though, like not uncommon for the owner to bring in a bunch of beer on a Friday afternoon fun office.

[helenahhandbasket]

I just told my closest work friends and let the news spread that way.

On another note, I'm impressed / jealous that you are 21 weeks along and it's not completely obvious. At 24 weeks I had people saying "any day now, right?" To me.

[kimberlyb]

I would just say something to your boss and then share your news with co-workers at a meeting. I also dislike being the center of attention so I waited till my bell popped around 28 weeks and I could no longer hide it to avoid the awkwardness of a big announcement.

[mlee116]

I told my boss and one or two other coworkers and the news spread on its own. Cute announcements are fun for family and friends, but I wouldn't want to do it at work personally and I also hate being the center of attention. I do like the idea of sharing the news at lunch or something like Widget123 suggested.

[mommyatty]

If you're close to that many people in the office, I kind of like that idea. You sound like the sort of person I envy, whom everyone kind of thinks is a really close friend. If so, there could be some minirly hurt feelings from people who don't hear it from you. So something like the cake with a little sign would be nice. I'm not sure I'd go with your sign, but maybe something like "the pregnant lady needs cake! But at least I'm sharing!"

Don't be like one of my subordinates, who works remotely and visits about once a month. She told me and no one else. So as she got bigger and bigger, people were like "is she pregnant, fat, has a tumor or WHAT???" I actually had to tell her "you are going to need to tell people. It's the South. People here will not ask unless the baby reaches out and waves at them. People are asking me and I can't say anything without your prior permission."

[mustardseed2007]

I think it depends on your office. Asking a coworker is probably a good idea. I could see this going over well in certain departments in my office. HR being the lead actually. They do stuff that...would totally fall flat in my department (legal).

At my office we normally do baby showers for people who are pregnant so that is a way to celebrate and I wouldn't feel the need to do something like this for that reason. But again, I could totally see someone in HR doing this and everyone would think it was AMAAZING.

[marshian]

helenahhandbasket - I think it helped I was overweight to begin with and had extra fluff around the middle. When I wear form-fitting clothes, H and I both think it's obvious now, but loose clothes hide it well. But they won't soon!

[marshian]

mommyatty - I'm the one everyone knows will bake you a treat you'll like on your birthday (and everyone shares with the rest of the office) and I like to really get to know my coworkers, so I usually end up being fairly close to them. With the work I do, we all have to work together all the time, so it's easy to grow relationships.

[marshian]

I'm going to run it by my coworker, but I'm leaning towards bringing in cupcakes and taking them individually to the people I'm closest to and when they ask why I baked them telling them I need them to gain weight so I don't feel bad, or something appropriate to our relationship.

Everyone else can learn by word of mouth or seeing the bump.

[saltandvinegar]

Just a lurker here. Although I may come play soon.

Hi marshian ! I work in a small-ish office (about 20 people) and everyone is always bringing in treats & goodies to share. There's a cake & chocolates down in our kitchen now that someone brought in for Valentines day. With DS and this time I'm planning to get a couple dozen donuts & leave a note with them. Nothing over the top but I find it more awkward when some people know and others don't.