~*~ PgAL/PAIF check-in week of February 12 ~*~

[muscari]

Welcome to the PgAL and PAIF check-in!

This is a weekly check-in for those of us who are pregnant after loss and/or infertility. Feel free to jump in any time!
The check-in is a safe place to share all things that come with being PgAL and/or PAIF. Use this thread to ask questions, share your excitement/rage/worries/whatever, or to ask for support!

Please come on in and let us know how you're doing, and know you are always welcome to come back throughout the week whenever you need to!! ♥

*~*~*~*~*

PgAL Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/1034/pgal-mantras

PAIF Mantras
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/57254/welcome-paif-read-before-posting


**Loss/trigger warnings are not necessary here**

*~*~*~*~*

Weekly check-in:

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Anything else you'd like to share?

QoTW: What do you always take with you when you leave the house? What is the one thing you forget the most?

[muscari]

How far along are you? 13w2d, wow how did that happen? Liking the fact we almost are in 2nd trimester though!

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
Physically I'm still feeling exhausted most of the time, though some days I seem to have a bit more energy. My nausea is getting much better, and I've stopped taking the emesafene on a daily base and now just take it when necessary. Progress!
Emotionally I had a few real hard moments earlier this week, but am mostly feeling okay .. though maybe a little blank really? I'm neither worried nor like really excited, just sorta meh in the middle. But I think I'm just still protecting my heart.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Not this week (apart from a routine checkup at the cardiologist) but let me update about last weeks appointments as I haven't had a chance to do so before. Tuesday 7/2 we had a busy day with the NT scan, getting the results of the combination test as well as an appointment with the MFM.
 
The NT scan went well, we finally got to hear the HB for the first time and I loved getting to see the baby for so long and see it wiggle around and what not. ♥ Baby measuring right on track, all fingers&toes etc present, so all good! But then when she plugged all the info into the system, unfortunately results of the combination test came back elevated risk (1/147), which really came as a bit of a blow after such a perfect U/S and NT scan (even if I had sort of expected to fall on the edge between fine and elevated risk simply cause I'm old LOL.. just hadn't expected it to be this number maybe I guess?). From what I understand my PAPP-A level was quite low? But I'm not sure what that means. I've stayed away from Dr Google as I don't want to freak myself out. The Dr said that based on the U/S and nuchal fold measurements itself she wouldn't expect anything to be wrong, so that's something we hold on to. We were referred to do NIPT and I had BW done the next day, so now we wait. Results should be in February 21st or 22nd latest. Needless to say MH&I both have been feeling a bit out of sorts. We hope for the best but it is hard to not worry a little.

Next we had our MFM appointment which went well. We really feel taken seriously and well monitored and cared for by the team. Which is a nice change from some of the drs and REs we've dealt with over the past years! When we get closer to the 3rd trimester we will start making a plan for birth with the MFM team and my cardiologist. There's a small chance I may end up with a CS if my cardio deems vaginal delivery too strenous for the ticker, but hopefully it will behave during pregnancy and things will be just fine to deliver naturally. But if it is better to do a CS then I'm okay with it as well, at least we'll know in advance.

Sorry, I know I can get lenghty so...TL;DR: NT scan went well, but our combination test results came back elevated risk, so now we are doing NIPT. Should get results in about 10 days. Being in limbo sucks. MFM appointment went well and we feel good about the team.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
For the NIPT results to please please please come back okay.

Anything else you'd like to share?
I'm sad that due to the limbo re the NIPT results we still can't rejoice this pregnancy. I had been looking forward feeling more confident about this pg and perhaps finallyfeeling okay to start thinking about nursery plans, doing some shopping for the baby perhaps etc. I also had planned on making a little something to announce the pregnancy to some of our further away friends, making use of a NT scan U/S pic and all. But now I don't feel comfortable at all to do so. On the one hand I want to just go ahead cause I want to be confident in a good end result, but at the same time I am just to worried I'll jinx things. In a way waiting 2 more weeks of course is no big deal but on the other hand I am just so longing for and ready to be *happy* about this pregnancy instead of feeling anxious and worried still..

QoTW: I always bring my keys, wallet and phone with me when I go somewhere, and also like to have some chapstick. I also pretty much always have some handlotion, some tissues, painkillers and some pantyliners in the front pocket of my bag. Not sure whether there's something I'm bound to forget.. I don't think so!

[addymac]

muscari glad to read your update but I'm so sorry you're in limbo waiting for the NIPT bw results. The waiting game is cruel. I'm crossing all my fingers and toes it all comes out well. I'm glad you had such a good MFM appointment!! That is such a relief that you like them and they're all working together well


Weekly check-in:

How far along are you? 13+1

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Exhausted and nauseated. Constantly hungry and getting headaches all the time if I don't eat within a designated timeframe 🙄 I'm so over it. I feel okay emotionally- just hanging out. I keep waiting to start bleeding around 14 and a half weeks it's just this nagging thought in the back of my head since I won't get to hear the hb until 3/2. I alternate between getting excited and then getting scared.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? No appts. My first's due date is on thursday. I've already burst into tears twice at work and once in the supermarket, not to mention how ever many times at home, so... yeah.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? I guess just good thoughts I make it through this week without a significant breakdown.

Anything else you'd like to share? I told my parents. They were so happy and crying, it was nice to see them so happy. Of course now I'm terrified I jinxed it. But I'm trying to be positive.

QoTW: What do you always take with you when you leave the house? What is the one thing you forget the most? I always take some sort of money (either my wallet or at least a CC) and my chapstick. If I'm with DH I don't bother with my keys or phone half the time. If I'm alone, I will bring it all!

[king26]

How far along are you? 12w4d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Still just really, really tired. My boobs are super sore and huge too so I'm looking into some new bras. I'm having some anxiety this week but I think it's because I stopped progesterone and estrogen on Wednesday.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Appointment: NT scan is on Wednesday and I'm having some anxiety about that as well. My DH is trying to be funny about it but it isn't working.
Milestones: We are telling my parents and brother today. I'm also anxious about this. My whole family will be over but I only want to tell parents and brother because I want to wait until NT scan to tell everyone else. We are only telling them today because we wont see them again for a month and I want to tell them in person.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? No

Anything else you'd like to share? Nope

muscari, I hope the results come back good. Being in limbo really does suck but it sounds like they think things will be ok.

addymac, Hang in there! I totally get it about telling your parents. I'm excited and know they will be over the moon but I'm scared to death as well.

[king26]

So we told my parents. My mom SCREAMED, cried, and was pretty darn shocked. I wish we had her reaction on video. Unfortuntately my 15 year old cousin was in the house and rushed down to see what was wrong and we had to make up a story. My mom proceeded to cry and shake for about 30 minutes she was so excited. My dad got really teary as well.

***loss mentioned***

I went to tell my brother and my mom said she had to talk to me first. Apparently my brother and SIL were pregnant, due a week before us, and miscarried right after Christmas. I'm so, so sad for them but they don't want us to know so I didn't say anything.

We went to their house and just told my brother. He was happy for us but looked a little shocked. He then came to my parents for the party but my SIL didn't. He said she was sick but I think she was too upset by our announcement. I just feel so bad and would love to just lend some support since I've been there, but I won't unless my brother tells us about it.

***end loss mention***

So the cat is out of the bag and I'm feeling relieved but anxious about the NT scan.

[muscari]

king26 Ahh your mums reaction sounds precious (ditto for your dad btw)! I'm so sorry for your brother&SIL (btw no loss warnings necessary per se in the PgAL/PAIF thread) and how hard must it be for you not to be able to love on them and support them, while you know ohso well how hard it is. Do they know about your MMC? **hugs** I always feel so sad when people try to cope with their loss on their own - I think it makes it so much harder at times. Or at least for me it would have been. I had support from some friends&family (who, granted, didn't always know what to say or do) which was great. On top of that there was CAL and I honestly wouldn't know what I'd have done without my CAL ladies here during those dark dark months.

GL with your NT scan, I hope it goes smoothly and you will be able to enjoy seeing the little one wiggle around on the screen. I really loved that!

[therealbug]

How far along are you? 12w4d

How are you feeling?

Tired, crampy, and still some spotting.

I took my last PIO shot on Tuesday and felt wiped out this weekend so the two may be related.

Any appointments or milestones?

None this week.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Just that this continued spotting really is nothing and both LOs continue to grow.

QOTW - 99.99% of the time I take my purse. Super rare for me to not bring it with me.

[cali]

How far along are you? 12w4d

How are you feeling?

Just so tired and I have so much trouble sleeping. I feel like I haven't had a good night of sleep in over a month. Otherwise, I feel fine.

Any appointments or milestones?

Had my NT scan on Friday and it went well, everything looked good. My OB agreed to monthly ultrasounds for me, so I was really happy about that. I have an MFM consult next Tuesday.


Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Not at the moment, thanks!

QOTW - I almost always takey wallet, my cell phone, and my keys. Of those things, I'm most likely to forget my cell phone. It's rare but when it happens I feel lost.

[cali]

muscari, waiting for results is so hard. I really hope all turns out to be okay and you can put these worries behind you!

addymac, PGAL brain sucks. ((Hugs))

king26, your parents reactions are so sweet. That is so sad about your bro and SIL. I wish they felt comfortable talking about it so you could provide support but of course, I understand how difficult it is.

therealbug, I hope the spotting let's up soon. I know how stressful it is to have any sort of spotting while pregnant.

[muscari]

therealbug sorry the spotting continues I hope it clears up soon. Did the drs say anything about how long it could happen after the vagUS? Yay for being done with the PIO shots though! I hope you will find your energy back soonest.

cali ugh sorry about the sleeping issues. I had about a week where I slept like crap but now I am back to sleeping okay... apart from the crazy and vivid dreams that is! So happy your NT scan went well And how lovely you will get monthly US for now. Our next one won't be until march 27 (the anatomy scan) tho the dr said maybe we will get an extra one in between since we feel so anxious what with the genetic results and additional NIPT and all.

[addymac]

king26, your mom's reaction sounds like what mine did, only it was over FaceTime haha. I'm glad they were so happy! I'm so sorry about your bro and SILs loss.

cali - yay for a good NT scan! I know how nice of a relief that was for me.

muscari- ugh waiting is the worst. We have a Dr appt 3/2 where I think he'll check for the hb w a Doppler, but we don't have the anatomy scan scheduled yet 😣

therealbug I'm sorry about the continued spotting. That is so frustrating and nerve wracking. Do you think it's a combo between the tv u/s and stopping the pio? I hope it stops asap.

PGAL brain sucks!! I just keep reminding myself that as long as I have exhaustion, nausea, and keep throwing up (rip pizza dinner last night), it's okay. Even though I want the nausea gone. 😣

[Mom2Ms]

How far along are you? 11w5d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)?
I'm a mess emotionally. I just can't keep it together. The spotting is making me insane. It will stop for several days & then start again. It stopped last Monday. Started & stopped Friday. And then yesterday, it started up again. But it's super, super dark. And it's still going. I called on Friday & they told me not to worry, it could be the SCH, the twin being passed or reabsorbed, the pap I had, the transvag U/S. A million things & not to worry.. All I know is, I want it to stop. Physically, I'm tired. I'm sore. I've got aches & pains from laying down constantly. I'm so worried.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
I have an appointment on Thursday. They are doing the NT scan and going to recheck the abdomen for potential issues. I should have my Marerniti21 results back by then. Im hoping & praying things are ok.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
Continued thoughts & prayers would be welcomed for the spotting to stop, good news as to the surviving baby. I need some good news so I can exhale.

Anything else you'd like to share? Nope.

QoTW: What do you always take with you when you leave the house? What is the one thing you forget the most? Cell phone is most taken item.... forgot the most? Usually something to do with the kids- lunch box, snack, signed paperwork.... Something to that effect.

[king26]

muscari, cali, SIL wrote me today and we were texting and then she told me about her miscarriage so I was able to talk to her about it. She said she was glad she told me because I knew just what to say and what not to say. I was glad I could give her some support and I told her about the group on this board so she may join in...

cali, Glad your NT scan went well!
therealbug, I'm sorry you are still having spotting but hope its nothing.
((( Mom2Ms,))) I'm sorry you are having so much worry. I hope your NT scan on Thursday goes well.
@xamountofwords, Thinking good thoughts and sanity vibes for you!

[elliecat17]

How far along are you? 12w 6d.

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Physically I have been hungry like all the time. Emotionally I have been nervous today. We tried to listen to baby's heartbeat, but I think that it was too close when I ate, because we heart bowel sounds for the most part. And even the placenta was super faint. So of course pgal brain is now taking over.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week?
Nope.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?
Not really

Anything else you'd like to share?
H and I have been talking names. It's making it a little more real, but also makes me nervous.

QoTW: What do you always take with you when you leave the house? What is the one thing you forget the most? I always take my phone and id. I often do not take my wallet.

[Mom2Ms]

Feb 13, 2017 8:15:57 GMT -5 therealbug said:

How far along are you? 12w4d

How are you feeling?

Tired, crampy, and still some spotting.

I took my last PIO shot on Tuesday and felt wiped out this weekend so the two may be related.

Any appointments or milestones?

None this week.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers?

Just that this continued spotting really is nothing and both LOs continue to grow.

QOTW - 99.99% of the time I take my purse. Super rare for me to not bring it with me.

I hope your spotting clears up. It's not comforting to be told "don't worry about it, everything is fine." Like, just stop already.

[Mom2Ms]

Positive Updates for Me:

Baby A is great. Heartbeat is strong at 161. All fingers & toes. Cranium & brain looks good. I got to see a squirmy & wiggly baby in there. I got shit U/S pictures though. ImDoesn't seem to have ANY issues with abdomen. They observed zero abnormalities. So, there's no concern at this point. They did the NT scan, which nasal bone prominent (1.5) & the NT space is within normal limits at 1.2. My preliminary genetic testing (Maternit21) came back NEGATIVE for Trisomy 21, 18, and 13. The test is usually 99% reliable. But the test isn't quite as reliable since I lost one of the twins, or in the case of twins period, as there's basically two DNA in there, and they don't know how much of each they are looking at, or if there's more than one or another, so they could have "missed" the DNA of the surviving baby, it's only a very small chance, but things are looking great. I'm awaiting the results of the state blood test. In light of this, I've opted out of CVS testing, due to the higher risk of miscarriage. I will likely do amino at 15 weeks, just to be safe, so I know for sure. My SCH did grow slightly, but they are going to monitor that. I'm supposed to take it "easy." Which is comical considering I work FT, DH is gone, and I've got an 8 year old and a 23 month old. The SCH is probably causing the spotting. They think at some point, it will go away. The other baby is still in there and isn't reabsorbing, it may or may not at this point. It was eerie and sad to see him/her on the U/S pictures. That may also be cause for spotting. I've got another U/S and appointment in 2 weeks, for follow up. They think that the SCH is far enough away from the placenta to not be an issue, but it's still forming, so it's uncertain at this point. So, I guess I can kind of exhale at this point. I think I'll feel so much better when the SCH is done and I get amino results.....

[yellowcat]

How far along are you? 16wks 2d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Good, just tired and a few headaches

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nope

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Nope

Anything else you'd like to share? I am starting to show a lot and need to avoid telling work for a few more weeks (waiting to hear if I got another job before wasting time negotiating leave). Besides big baggy clothes, any tips?

QoTW: I always have a water bottle and always forget my office key,

[addymac]

Mom2Ms I'm so glad baby A looks great! That must be such s good feeling to see it dancing around with a good strong Hb, no abdominal abnormalities, and a good NT scan!!


I mean, the blood test could be correct. There are plenty of other trisomies or monosomies that could have caused baby b to pass, ya know? With our first, the he came back negative for t13,18,21, but baby still died. My Dr said it was just most likely a different aneuploidy issue, not one of the common ones tested.

Hope the spotting goes away (for peace of mind) and everything continues to look good on the next u/s. I'm sorry you have to keep seeing baby b on the u/s. That must be a kick in the gut. *hug* I still have the image of our first at the u/s where we found out it had died and it just haunts me. I can't imagine having to see that next to a happy bouncing healthy baby ever time. ((Hugs))

[Mom2Ms]

Thanks addymac ..... I feel a huge sense of relief at this point. My OBGYN explained what would happen if my body didn't reabsorb it or pass it and it's kind of morbid. But, right now, I'm focusing on the apparently healthy & normal baby that's wiggling & growing inside me. You're right about the other chromosome things. I have serious pregnancy brain and literally forgot about all of that, sort of.

I did go buy maternity clothes today. Some shorts & tanks. Things are starting to get more real now & I can finally start to be cautiously optimistic & excited.....

[Mom2Ms]

Feb 16, 2017 21:04:56 GMT -5 yellowcat said:

How far along are you? 16wks 2d

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Good, just tired and a few headaches

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Nope

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Nope

Anything else you'd like to share? I am starting to show a lot and need to avoid telling work for a few more weeks (waiting to hear if I got another job before wasting time negotiating leave). Besides big baggy clothes, any tips?

QoTW: I always have a water bottle and always forget my office key,

I've been making good use of the drapey cardigan style sweaterish things. And oversized non button cardigan type light sweaters. I'm not sure where you live and if it's feasible, but I've been light layering too. I'll wear like a tank with one of my cardigan things & call it a day.

These are my favorite & I've worn them before & after pregnancy. They are SO soft.

m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/barefoot-dreams-cardigan-nordstrom-exclusive/3112763?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=PEWTER%2F%20BLACK%20OMBRE

I'm pretty much screwed at this point. I'm over 12 weeks now, but I'm 5'2 and have the torso size of a toddler, it's my 3rd, and I'm pretty petite weigh wise, so this bump is coming out loud & proud. So, I might as well be out with it.

[therealbug]

Mom2Ms, so happy to see this update! I'm glad baby A looks good and FX the SCH resolves without issue.

[cali]

Mom2Ms, so happy to see your update on Baby A! I hope that SCH clears up soon.

[cravingchocolate05]

Feb 13, 2017 17:31:03 GMT -5 @xamountofwords said:

Hugs @mom2ms I could not handle some one telling me not to worry about bleeding while pregnant.



How far along are you? 13weeks 5days

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? I'm having a hard time believing there is a baby in me, I'm convinced the heart isn't beating. I don't know why this is taking over me, I need it to stop. I am ordering a Doppler today.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Next appointment is in March. A 15 minute check in. And he. Anatomy scan at the end of March.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Could you send some sanity vibes my way?

Anything else you'd like to share? Told my grandpa today. His reaction was so cute. He's so exited.

QoTW: What do you always take with you when you leave the house? What is the one thing you forget the most? Phone, keys , wallet. Don't normally forget them.

@xamountofwords I feel exactly what you said, that the baby isn't in there and the heart isn't beating. It's driving dh crazy BC I keep asking him if my belly is getting bigger and freaking out about not feeling movement (which is utterly illogical; I don't even remotely expect to feel movement at 13 weeks but I still worry about it). I hope the Doppler works for you. Curious to know how that goes. I was thinking of getting one, but my obgyn had trouble getting a consistent heart beat at my 12 week appt BC the baby was doing calisthenics, so I thought the Doppler would make me too nervous if the same thing happened.

[cravingchocolate05]

How far along are you? 13w

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Nausea might be a little better today but still tired. I'm driving myself crazy this week. I just feel like the baby's not there, but I have no reason to feel that. I've had some elevated blood pressure and my 24 hr urine test came back with slightly elevated protein (sorry if tmi), so I think it's playing with my mind.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Panorama website says I should get Nipt results around Feb 21! Set up my anatomy scan March 25.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Just for the nerves. I'm driving dh crazy.

Anything else you'd like to share? Can't think of anything.

QoTW: What do you always take with you when you leave the house? What is the one thing you forget the most

I always take cell phone, wallet, keys. I keep forgetting my water bottle.

[cravingchocolate05]

How far along are you? 13w

How are you feeling (physically/emotionally)? Nausea might be a little better today but still tired. I'm driving myself crazy this week. I just feel like the baby's not there, but I have no reason to feel that. I've had some elevated blood pressure and my 24 hr urine test came back with slightly elevated protein (sorry if tmi), so I think it's playing with my mind.

Any appointments or milestones coming up this week? Panorama website says I should get Nipt results around Feb 21! Set up my anatomy scan March 25.

Do you need any thoughts or prayers? Just for the nerves. I'm driving dh crazy.

Anything else you'd like to share? Can't think of anything.

QoTW: What do you always take with you when you leave the house? What is the one thing you forget the most

I always take cell phone, wallet, keys. I keep forgetting my water bottle.

[cali]

cravingchocolate05, I think feeling like that is kind of normal when PgAL. I have the same feeling that the baby is not there so often and it is terrible. I even feel weird telling people because I feel like it's a fraud. It's super weird but I completely understand.

[yoshijo28]

cravingchocolate05 ((hugs)). Ive been there. I was so convinced she wasn't there, I was surprised when I saw her wiggling on the screen for the NT scan. The doppler has been very helpful. I only use it once or twice a week to avoid driving myself crazy

[cravingchocolate05]

Thanks cali and yoshijo28. You're making me feel less crazy!! It's hard for my dh to understand the crazy!

[yoshijo28]

Feb 18, 2017 8:58:40 GMT -5 cravingchocolate05 said:

Thanks cali and yoshijo28. You're making me feel less crazy!! It's hard for my dh to understand the crazy!

Mine too. He doesn't worry unless given a reason to.

[therealbug]

Feb 17, 2017 21:19:06 GMT -5 @xamountofwords said:

cravingchocolate05 I didn't end up ordering the Doppler, I keep wanting to and then it's not in the budget.

I'm not sure what your budget is but I noticed WalMart has the Sonoline B Doppler online for $29. That's a pretty solid price for one and it is a good Doppler (what I use and what many from the community use).