Paging all Dog Lovers! Best Dogs for Babies?

[leenziepops]

Hello Dog Lovers! Please help me pick out a dog. DH really wants a dog. We talked about getting a dog after baby is born and we are looking at towards the end of the year when LO is 6 months. This should work with the seasons here and puppies being born in Spring/September and ready to leave the litter by about November/December. 
Some factors
- I am allergic to some cats and dogs because I have eczema and suffer from hayfever. 
- We have a backyard and down the side of the house we have a large in built kennel. 
- We are both average active, though we would normally go to the gym for exercise, we are happy to incorporate walks and runs with a dog at a park/beach
- We never want the dog to be indoors. EVER. 

What would be your recommendations and why? TIA for any advice! 

[billyhorrible]

Honestly, and I don't mean to sound like a bitch, do not get a dog. Every criteria you list is a red flag and almost exactly a list of the top reasons people get rid of dogs. (Seriously, google "why people get rid of dogs."

Let's start with the basics - new dogs and new babies are not a good idea. At 6 months babies are still incredibly needy. They are just beginning to be mobile with rolling and sitting. They can't communicate verbally. They are still waking at night, meaning you are still short on sleep. Now add a dog onto that. Dogs are incredibly needy. They can't communicate verbally. Whether you get a dog or a puppy, they are going to need a ton of attention at first as they adjust to your life/lifestyle. Now let's say you get a puppy. A puppy who will need to be housetrained and taken out for frequent potty trips, all through the night. A puppy who will have boundless energy. A puppy who will chew and destroy everything in its sight. A puppy who is going to nip and bite. A puppy who is going to need training/obedience classes. Basically you are going to have to chose as to who is going to get attention and who will be neglected, and you're going to pick the baby. Which means you are going to have an ill-tempered, ill-behaved dog that is only going to make you resentful that the dog just doesn't behave, when really that poor behavior was created by you.

Allergies - There is no such thing as a hypo-allergenic dog. Many people market poodles/poodle mixes as being hypo-allergenic, they're not. Some dogs are better for people with allergies (like poodles, water dogs which have "hair" as opposed to "fur") but that's no guarantee. And it's not just the hair that causes problems. DH has issues with my mom's dog because of the flea medication she's on. So there's no way of knowing whether you will have issues with a specific dog until that dog is in your household for a period of time. And when allergy issues arise, people get rid of the dog.

Activity - Like a said before, a puppy is going to need a lot of activity. Think about 2 walks a day about an hour each. A dog outside does not "exercise" themself and often gets very very very destructive. You know that kennel you have? A bored, non-exercised dog will tear it to pieces. Older dogs are more sedentary and need less activity. We got our dog because he was "low energy" and for the first 4 years we had him we were giving him 30 -45 minute walks every morning and taking him to the dog park every afternoon. Every.Afternoon. Now he's 7 and still gets two 30 minute walks a day. And when dogs get bored and underexercised they get destructive. And when people realize the don't have a time commitment, they get rid of the dog.

Outdoor dog - this isn't specific to you, but I strongly recommend if you don't want an indoor dog then don't get a dog. Dogs are pack animals. They need to be with their pack. For a domesticated dog, that pack is you. Separate a dog from the pack and you have a miserable dog. Also, a dog kept outside all the time does not develop "house skills" which means they are poor mannered. And then the owners claim "Well he can't be inside because he is wild, not house trained, and ill behaved. All components of outdoor-only dogs. Bad things happen to outdoor dogs. They get stolen. They get poisoned by annoyed neighbors or people who are just assholes. They get bitten by wildlife and die or stung to death by bees.

DH grew up with 2 outside dogs. They weren't allowed in the house because they were so poorly behaved (because they were never trained, and never allowed in the house so didn't know house rules). The neighbors called the police on them because the dogs were always barking. They threatened lawsuits against my inlaws. So my inlaws, being awful people, instead of bringing the dogs inside and training them, had their voice boxes removed. The dogs were miserable and constantly escaping. And getting hit by cars. The dog DH calls his had 3 legs and 1 eye from being hit by cars so often.

So what happens to all these dogs that end up being gotten rid of? Most of them are euthanized. Meaning because people want a cute puppy, without thinking of all the responsibilities that go with it, these dogs are killed. Because no one wants a poorly trained, poorly behaved dog. Shelters are full of them. Rescues can't place them all. And when the resources aren't there to support them, they get put down. If I sound harsh in my reply, that's why. We got so lucky with my dog. He was due to be put down because he was in an overcrowded shelter. No one wanted to adopt him because he wasn't a "puppy" (he was about a year old). In fact, he had a family say they were going to adopt him and then back out. He got lucky and sent to a vet in a neighboring county who had 4 free cages. So 4 dogs were saved from being put to sleep and the rest were killed. There is nothing wrong with my dog. He trained quickly and easily. He is great with children. He won't even eat out of the trash. Everyone who meets him thinks he's "perfect." And yet he was probably days away from being put down. And he's the lucky one. There are thousands of dogs that aren't so lucky.

[wormgerm]

At the risk of sounding judgemental I don't see the point in having an outdoors only dog. That on top of a new baby/growing baby/active toddler sounds like pup wouldn't get much attention. Puppies need tons of love and attention to help grow them into well behaved dogs. Hopefully you find an appropriate breed and a solution that works for your family.

[leenziepops]

billyhorrible, wormgerm, Thanks for giving some good arguments to present to DH! I really do not want one and he's been asking for one and how he wants the baby to grow up with one. I hope I can change his mind because it really seems too difficult at this point in time. Or at least delay it for a while.

[leenziepops]

@pcrunk‌ awww no! I hope I didnt come across cruel. DH said he raised his dog pretty much outside as a kid so i just took his word for it. I have no experience with dogs. I told DH i thought it was cruel for a puppy to be kept outside because they're like babies. But he said they would be fine. Maybe he had an older dog and didn't start off with a puppy? I'm not a dog lover but I'm definitely not going to be cruel to one.

[hbanana18]

I have to strongly agree with PP. We have two rescues.
One we go when she was 2ish. The agency had many people try to adopt her & give her up because she was 'high energy.' She was fostered at a doggie day care. While she was safe and cared for there, she basically had no manners because she was like a kid at a playground all day. It took us a long time to teach her the dinning room table is not a place for a 65lb dog to stand on. We already had an active 1 yr old mutt and once we got Ginny into a good routine with consistency and exercise with our other dog, she became much more well mannered. I have had many dogs and grown up with dogs of all ages and can't imagine taking on anymore in the next 2 or so years. It wouldn't be fair to the dog or the baby.

[leenziepops]

Thanks for posting your replies. It really has convinced me that we shouldn't be getting a dog!!

[billyhorrible]

Feb 16, 2015 21:26:54 GMT -5 leenziepops said:

billyhorrible, wormgerm, Thanks for giving some good arguments to present to DH! I really do not want one and he's been asking for one and how he wants the baby to grow up with one. I hope I can change his mind because it really seems too difficult at this point in time. Or at least delay it for a while.

See and this is the thing - I'm not a "dogs are like people" person in terms of comparison, but put that aside for a minute and bear with me:

When one person in a relationship wants a baby and the other doesn't, it's a really bad idea to have a baby.
Likewise, when you get a dog, which involves a dependent creature like a baby, both "parents" need to be on the same page and want the dog. 

There is nothing wrong with not being a dog person, or not wanting a dog.  I really don't judge people who aren't OMGILOVEALLANIMALS.  So I don't think it's fair for your husband to insist on something you're not okay with.  I think it's great for kids to grow up with pets and it teaches them so many wonderful values, but only if everyone is willing to be responsible for the animal.  Otherwise it has the exact opposite effect.

[brennaz]

I have nothing to add. PP covered it all. It doesn't sound like a good idea to get a dog I your situation. Besides, if the dog is always, outside...the baby is almost always inside...they are more neighbors than growing up together.
And also, kudos and major respect for being honest and taking advice to heart!!

[Bluedaisy]

I have to agree with the other ladies, unless you live on a farm and want a working dog, not a pet, any dog will need to be inside at times. Keeping a dog completely in a backyard invites barrier aggression and frustration.

At the very least I would wait until baby is older.

[leenziepops]

billyhorrible That is a good way to look at things. I think I was caving in to make DH happy but I need to remember that having a dog will probably make me unhappy due to my allergies. I still feel bad about depriving him of a dog.

[Deleted]

I'm going to echo what pp have said about not understanding the purpose of an outdoor only companion dog and it seems even more stressful to time it with having a newborn since raising/training a puppy properly will be a full time commitment. Dogs thrive on being in close proximity to their owner so it just doesn't sit right with me to keep them outside all the time. We also live in a coyote filled area where they hunt in packs at night so no one keeps dogs outside at night.

[paintdadanta]

Have to agree with PPs. Aside from the argument of time, I'm not very fond of outdoor dogs especially when kept as pets in backyard kennels. The only outdoor dogs I've ever seen content with their situation was working dogs who were constantly herding livestock. But even they had issues from living outdoors 24/7. My cousin lost several boarder collies over the years to cars, wild animals, and shorter life spans.

My parents were in a similar situation - mom was terrified/hated dogs but dad loved them. When I was old enough to start asking for one he promised I'd have one by 13 and low and behold we came with a puppy two months before that birthday and my mother knew nothing about it. We kept her as an outdoor/garage dog for about a year before my mom got over her fear and actually became attached letting her in the house until the dog ended up a spoiled a/c addict. Point being, sometimes opinions can change over time but I also must add that having had to work for the right to have the dog rather than growing up with one as all my friends did was better in my opinion because it meant more to me because it was privilege that I may not have gotten otherwise not to mention I had to do most of the work too. That was smart parental thinking on their part

[dmoney]

We have a dog who will be 2 on Friday. He is the love of our lives, and as others have said a lot of responsibility. To get him ready for the baby, I am constantly pulling on his tail and his ears and his mouth. He doesnt seem to care at all. I can also stick my hand in his food bowl while he is eating and he just looks at me and keeps eating. We got luck on that part. But getting a dog who is going to stay outside is just mean. Not sure where you live, but if it is too hot the dog can have a heat stroke and die from that, or if it gets to cold the dog can get hypothermia. My DH just sent me a text message and said that our pup is moping because he wont let him out in the back yard to go play in the snow (we got about 6 inches over night, and I am at work.) When I get home tonight we are going to let him out, but since he has hair not fur it takes a lot to dry him and its a lot of work to do. Way to much to do for only one person.

Personally, when I hear of people who keep their dogs outside 24/7/365 i want to call animal control on them. That is no way to treat a pet. They are part of your family and just want to please you. The baby will not grow up learning to respect animals if they are outside all the time. They need to be in the house where the two can interact and know each others boundaries.

[wegrowsheep]

At the risk of having the UO here... We keep all three of our dogs outside, 24/7. Granted, as young puppies, they spent time inside being adapted to our family, house-trained, etc. However, they have dog houses, a 1/4 acre kennel, and they get out for running and doing chores (aka, people interaction) daily. Perhaps it's the lifestyle we have (farming/ranching), but the dogs are quite happy and well-adjusted and friendly.
As for having allergies though, even mild ones, I'd say skip the dog, because there'll be no end to exposure to the dog once your LO becomes attached to it My old border collie may live outside, but her masses of hair still make it into the house!

[noeliav]

Not going to repeat what's been said already, but having been-there-done-that with a baby and a not-puppy, I wouldn't even agree to entertain the idea of a dog until the kiddo was at least 2 years old.

We *love* our dog, and do so much to keep her happy/content in our house, and the first year with a baby was so challenging for us all. The second year has been so much better. (Clearly the best time to throw in another baby, lol. I swear our dog was giving me her I-do-not-approve stare yesterday while I organized all the baby clothes. Poor thing.)

[schnurette]

Feb 16, 2015 21:26:54 GMT -5 leenziepops said:

billyhorrible, wormgerm, Thanks for giving some good arguments to present to DH! I really do not want one and he's been asking for one and how he wants the baby to grow up with one. I hope I can change his mind because it really seems too difficult at this point in time. Or at least delay it for a while.

DH and I have two dogs - a Norwegian Elkhound and a Boston Terrier. We had both before having DD. My major concern would be (on top of what everyone else has said) that it is SO SO HARD to determine whether a dogs temperment is going to work out with a baby. We thought for sure our Norwegian would be great with the baby and the Boston would be terrible and it was completely the opposite. We had to watch the Norwegian constantly around baby because he would get snarly with her whenever she got close - esp. as she got older and was more dexterous and able to grab at him.

I'd also keep in mind that you are going to want to be able to take your LO out in the yard to play as much as possible and doggie bombs just make that awful. (That said, this is something that I have to deal with. I have no idea what we are going to do as our yard is probably a mine field. DH's problem to figure that out, not mine.)

[dmoney]

Feb 17, 2015 11:30:38 GMT -5 wegrowsheep said:

At the risk of having the UO here... We keep all three of our dogs outside, 24/7. Granted, as young puppies, they spent time inside being adapted to our family, house-trained, etc. However, they have dog houses, a 1/4 acre kennel, and they get out for running and doing chores (aka, people interaction) daily. Perhaps it's the lifestyle we have (farming/ranching), but the dogs are quite happy and well-adjusted and friendly.
As for having allergies though, even mild ones, I'd say skip the dog, because there'll be no end to exposure to the dog once your LO becomes attached to it My old border collie may live outside, but her masses of hair still make it into the house!

The difference is your dogs are working dogs. They still get the interaction that a house dog would get. Because you are Farmers/Ranchers they are working along side of you and doing the job that they were probably bred to do.  But for someone to get say a Lab, and then keep the dog outside all the time is not fair to the dog.  They are not getting the interaction that they need/crave 24/7. They want to be near their owners and not being able to do that when living in a kennel is going to make for one very unhappy pup. 

[leenziepops]

OK ladies, so next time DH brings up the dog talk again I need to be all like:

[noeliav]

Yes
With a little "DH, I promise we can revisit the topic of a dog in 2017."

[sidneyvicious]

Feb 17, 2015 18:06:56 GMT -5 . said:

I guess I'm a horrible person because we kept my dog outside/in the garage for his entire 15 years of life. We live in an area that pretty much has gorgeous weather year round, but the times it would be cold or rainy he could go in the garage when he wanted.

We spent tons of time outside since the weather was great. I don't feel that my newfoundland had poor manners and many people still comment to me that I had the "best dog" even though he passed away 14 years ago.

I know that I'm probably going to get jumped on over this, which is why I hesitated in the first place to post at all, but that is my $0.02 regarding that topic.

With a baby on the way, there's definitely no way in heck I would want to introduce any new pets just yet though!

Well, there are definitely people out there who treat animals worse, but I definitely disapprove of having a so-called pet who is banished outside for a lifetime, no matter how lovely you think it is.

[billyhorrible]

[ravinraven216]

Feb 18, 2015 13:13:33 GMT -5 @littlechivette said:

Awe!! Now I want to see everyone's dogs!

**edited to not sound like a whiney bitch

I'll see your whiney bitch and raise you one. This is Elsa.



All this talk of babies pulling on dogs' tails makes me really glad she doesn't have one.