WWF17D -Baptism?

[Deleted]

Warning - long post and religious as well.


So for our first child's baptism my sister and my SIL were both kinda anti church so we didn't ask either to be god parents. DH really wants his sister (married to a very self proclaimed atheist that pushes her from church/god) to be a god parent this time. During her visit this weekend he had a conversation regarding her faith and she said that she does believe in a higher power not necessarily god. Neither my sister or his have or will be baptizing their kids so to me I struggle picking either sister as a god parent.

My mom also put guilt trip on me today saying my sister was hurt she wasn't a god parent to LO1. So now I feel that if we ask SIL we should also ask my sister. I do struggle asking either since neither actually attend church or have an active relationship with god. To me we should be picking someone who is active in their faith.

Thoughts??

[crazycatlady6]

Your last sentence nailed it: you should be picking someone who is active in their faith since that is what being a Godparent is all about.

Who else were you considering to be thre godparents of your twins? What is their relationship to God?

[shellbell]

I think this is a very personal preference.

My sister and BIL are godparents to both our kids. They are not active church members, and while they're not atheists, they aren't the most religious people. That doesn't bother me. It's more important to me to choose someone who will love and nurture and encourage.

[wildflower810]

I guess it depends on the purpose of the godparent? It is just a formality and now this person is expected to show up to all birthday parties because of the title? Is this person supposed to aid in the spiritual growth and development of LO as they grow up? Or is it a case where the godparent would automatically take custody of LO if (heaven forbid) something were to happen to you and YH?

[Deleted]

So for us a god parent is active in the twins journey in their faith as well as lives. LO1's godparents would be the ones to take all the kids in the case that both DH and I pass to avoid splitting them up.

[shawnabm1320]

I think if it's important to you to have that influence on their faith, you should pick someone else - someone who would be able to fill that job description. Is there a friend from your church who you're close to maybe?

[musicallyinclined]

Well, as a pastor I get this kind of question with frequency.
I should also point out that I'm from a very grace heavy denomination, so take what I say with that perspective.
While ideally it is a person who shares theological perspective with you, I don't think being "unchurched" or questioning or agnostic is a deal breaker. Grace has the power to transform a person at any point in time and they may come to know and have a relationship with God later in their lives. The question I would ask is, "is this person living a life I would want my child to emulate?" Or "does the way this person lives coincide with what I understand how the gospel is asking us to live?"
So, all that to say, pick people you want, not someone you feel pressured to pick. Is the reason YH wants your SIL a good one or a just because and same for you sister.
Clearly this is just my opinion, ultimately you need to decide what you think is best for your kids.

Edited: words are hard

[oldbaylover1024]

Feb 20, 2017 13:24:53 GMT -5 @jacks605 said:

So for us a god parent is active in the twins journey in their faith as well as lives. LO1's godparents would be the ones to take all the kids in the case that both DH and I pass to avoid splitting them up.

From a legal standpoint, you're saying that LO1's godparents are set to be legal guardians for all three kids. This means they are listed in your will as such. So it sounds like the faith aspect is more at the forefront for the twins' godparents. Obviously faith was a deciding factor the first time, but you're not worried about guardians this time.

I'd say go with your gut. If your sister and SIL don't fit the criteria, then maybe they aren't the ones you should pick. Is there anyone else on your list? Is guilt driving some of this discussion?

[staz]

We picked godparents based on faith. It caused WWIII with my family but I'm honestly good with our decision especially after hearing why my sister wanted to be godmother (she was supposed to be named the guardian in our will but that's been changed now).

So it's a hard decision and I get it. Ultimately I think you go with your gut.