Wednesday Waaahhs

[sudokufan]

Or whines.  Or wines - feel free to suggest wines, I could use a new one.

Bud woke me up at 4:30 to use the potty, and while he was at it, puked all over himself.  Sigh.  Fortunately H is good about being woken up from a sound sleep to grab buckets and such, and he's home today with the little guy, but I can see the writing on the wall and am meeting with my boss to plan out what I can work on from home tomorrow and possibly Friday   This comes on top of the 2.5 days I missed last week for him being sick.  He looked so miserable this morning.

[rere26]

Last day home. Have to drag back in tomorrow. I should have taken off the entire week, but as soon as I did that, somebody would come down with something. I have enough possible sick time looming. I hope to get a nice lunch out of today.

[twinmomma]

I'm running on empty with the whole parenting thing. With all the snow days that happened, DH's dress rehearsals and show weeks ended up expanding from 2 weeks to 4 weeks of no back up at home and him being frantic and stressed. Now that we're past that, he's tied up with the next school project/show. Yesterday he picked up the girls at 6, came home for dinner, and then went back to school at 8 after helping with bedtime. He was there til midnight catching up on work. Tonight he'll be there straight through until around 9 PM. Which means tonight I have to find time to pick up the kids, make dinner, handle bedtime, and somehow pack up all their stuff for a weekend away. My mom is coming at 8 to grab their car seats and suitcases since she'll be grabbing them from school tomorrow and taking them for a sleepover. Then DH and I are headed up to meet them Friday after work.
I'm wondering if part of DD1's anxiety and stress is that she can feel my stress over DH's lack of support and help. And, poor kid probably misses her dad! Even when he's home in the evenings, he's working on his laptop and not acknowledging any of us. I'm so tired of more of the same crap with this job. I keep trying to tell him it's not sustainable and have real conversations with him about it, but he just keeps brushing it off and telling me he likes being busy and having a lot to do, it gives him purpose. I don't think he understands the difference between being busy with projects and being totally overworked and stretched too thin.

[saraml13]

DH is out of town most of the week, Monday morning through late Thursday. I looked at our calendars for the weekend, and he has signed up for a platform tennis tournament that could end up taking up all of Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon (depending on if they keep winning). Because after a week of solo parenting, what I really want is to spend the weekend on my own as well.

[CoverGirl82]

I was reflecting on Monday that days off of work (e.g., my every-other Friday off) are never a "day off." I switched my day off from last Friday to Monday so I could spend some extra time with the kids on their day off of school. I had to run errands for part of the day, so they asked to go to DCP's house while I was doing that. After errands, I cleaned their bathroom, washed dishes, did some laundry, and vacuumed and Armor All-ed the interior of my car (because it was in the 50s outside, and you have to take advantage of those days in the winter in MI!). Errands and chores are typically on my list of to-dos on my Fridays off. One of these days, I'm really going to take a day off and sit on the couch all day binge-watching TV.

[librarychica]

twinmomma, that isn't sustainable -- and this is coming from someone whose husband works a ton. It's not just that he's involved in working, but he is actively ignoring his family when home and brushing off your concerns. Have you tried counseling? I would need a third party if I were being brushed off like that.

I may just have counseling on the brain, though. Today is our first appointment with DD1. Between that, some stuff going on with H's career that could cause big changes for us and the headache I woke up with, I am rather distracted.

[Widget123]

DD was freaking out late last night because she thought something was crawling on her. My car is on its last leg. And I have a completely waste of my time meeting scheduled for this afternoon.

[librarychica]

sudokufan, I had a good Pinot noir from Costco called Twelve Wines last week.

[twinmomma]

librarychica, My dream is to get us in counseling. He's not very open to it. Plus, I'm already freaking out about how we're going to manage getting DD1 to her appointments once those start. No clue how or when we'd fit in our own counseling too.

[rere26]

I am loving wines from the Purple Toad Winery. It is like wine for dummies. They have all kinds of flavors and are rated on a sweetness scale. I like a sweet wine and know if I get a 4 on the scale, I'll most likely love it.

[justcheckingin73]

Yesterday was so busy and I have no motivation to do actual work today. I left the house at 3:15 to pick up my son from school, we then rushed to another school for my dd's basketball game, grabbed something quick to eat and then dropped off my dd at home so I could race to Religious Ed for my son, where I had to stay for parent's night. After that, we rushed to the high school where dd has a jazz band concert until 8:45. Ugh. I know some people have much busier schedules but I really hate nights like that. No downtime and all we're doing is rushing.

Days like that are when working from home is difficult for me. When my kids are at school, the house is so quiet and peaceful, all I want to do is lay back and relax. I think I need to load up on the caffeine!

[judyblume14]

sudokufan - I'm a big fan of the Apothic brand blends (Red and Crush are my favorite). They range between $7 and $12 per bottle in my area, depending on the neighborhood.

I spilled my first bottle of pumped milk this morning. I didn't cry over it, but I'll whine about that shit all day.

[somebabiesmom]

I've barely spoken to MH since Saturday. On Saturday, we had a couples massage and dinner planned for our Vday celebration. The second we got in the car, he started complaining. When I asked him to wait around afterwards for an hour while I got my hair done, he decided it was a complete abuse of our relationship. He kept bitching during the hours before dinner and showed no signs of stopping while we were on our way to dinner, so I cancelled dinner and dropped him back off at home. The salt in the wound is that we never get to go out together b/c we don't have a reliable babysitter. In fact, the last time we were able to get a babysitter was for his birthday, but she (my MIL) had to cancel because she was sick. I tried to find a back-up, but MH didn't try at all. He wouldn't even consider asking his sister. He wouldn't consider taking the kids with us. He just went without me. I was so upset and then he gets upset with me for being upset with him.

It took him 2 days to start talking to me again after making him wait that hour on Vday. He asks me last night if I'm ready to make up and I tell him, "It took you 2 days to get over one hour. How long do you think it will take me to get over an entire day?" I don't even know when I'm going to talk to him again.

One good thing to come out of this, though, is I got to go on a "date" with my dad. That was super nice.

[supertrooper1]

I worked 15 hours yesterday so I'm feeling it today. Sore feet and very tired. I have a cold that only seems to be getting worse and not better.

[2chatter]

twinmomma - I would rather DH be away than present and disengaged. Weekends are stressful because he will decide to "just get something out the door" when I'm getting two kids ready for sports and assume he fed them breakfast. I have had to learn when he is here he only does what he explicitly articulates and absolutely nothing more. Like, if I want him to take out the trash I have to ask.

Could you maybe discuss with him setting at home targets? If busy is the goal I am sure you can help him out with that!

I'm stressed about taking DD to 21 Pilots - only because we need to grab dinner en route and the show starts at 7 (read: no starch plus traffic equals nightmare).

[twinmomma]

2chatter, It's hard, because he'll do things like he did last night. He made a point to come home to be there for dinner, help with bedtime, and chat with me. Then he leaves and goes to spend another 4 hours at work, staying up until the middle of the night. Or he'll make sure he loads the dishwasher before coming to bed, but he doesn't come to bed until 2 or 3 AM because he's up working. So he's been getting better about trying to help with chores, but I just really miss having a husband and a partner, you know? I don't want to just have to assign him tasks. I want to feel like I'm part of a married couple again and not just being scheduled in to tiny windows here and there.

[mommyatty]

I'm in an all day meeting. Much of the purpose of this meeting is to plan another multiple day meeting. Enough said.

I have tubal/ablation tomorrow. They originally told me I could go back to work on Monday. Now I need a whole week off. So I'm scrambling to get everything taken care of with short term disability and rescheduling meetings.

Also I'm on hold for all 3 job opportunities right now. Next week is the exec team meeting with the in house job. The Seattle job I won't hear anything about until next week (though I heard yesterday everybody really liked me), and the D.C. job has been totally silent. I hate that I have nothing to do to move those issues forward.

[akafred]

We have a realtor coming over this morning to tell us what we HAVE to fix to sell. The house is a pit. We have done some work but like 0.1% of what needs to be done to de-clutter, pack, clean, etc. And DH focused a lot on the landscaping because the city is collecting the yard waste in a week or so and he figured he would get it out of the way. Awesome, but meanwhile we have crap everywhere inside. I am so stressed about it all. And my back is killing me. I am trying to be careful but bleh.

[mae0111]

Received my bonus information yesterday. The delivery was something like, "So, here's your bonus. You did OK. Better than last year, but last year was awful. You can do better. If you do a better job next year, you'll get more of a bonus."

I simply don't have it in me to work harder. I'm completely burnt out. Boss #1 is beginning to suspect something is up with me. He's asking a lot of people if I'm OK, saying he's worried I'm going to leave. Perhaps, if you were so worried, bossman, you could have come up with a better delivery?? The numbers were fine, an atta girl along with it could have gone a long way.

[mommyatty]

akafred, trust me, however bad you think it is, your realtor has seen so much worse.

[justcheckingin73]

Feb 22, 2017 9:59:19 GMT -5 2chatter said:

I'm stressed about taking DD to 21 Pilots - only because we need to grab dinner en route and the show starts at 7 (read: no starch plus traffic equals nightmare).

I'm curious about the show. My dd really wants to go see them but I'm nervous about the crowd they might draw. 

[2chatter]

justcheckingin73 - I will let you know! They have a parents room set up for this one - so I think they forecast it as pretty tame. Jon Belloin is opening - so is Judah and the Lions - which I don't think I know that band....

[k3am]

twinmomma, have I mentioned that I'd love to get on a plane and come visit just to slap some sense into YH???

[indyrowergirl]

I'm supposed to find out Friday (or shortly after) if I will be laid off. I'm a nervous wreck. My stomach is in knots and my patience is shot. I want to somehow fast forward through the next two days, and just get it over with. At this point, I'm not even as invested in what the outcome is, as I am in knowing that it's been decided so I can move forward. It doesn't help that I have no meetings to distract me today. I'll be cracking open a bottle of wine tonight for sure!

And god forbid they don't tell us on Friday. I'll lose my mind if I have to sit on this for one more weekend.

[k3am]

Solo parenting for 5 days begins today. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I agreed to it. Solo parenting in the week, NBD, solo parenting on the weekends.. yeah, not as easy.

[justcheckingin73]

Feb 22, 2017 10:36:03 GMT -5 2chatter said:

justcheckingin73 - I will let you know! They have a parents room set up for this one - so I think they forecast it as pretty tame. Jon Belloin is opening - so is Judah and the Lions - which I don't think I know that band....

Sounds pretty cool. We missed our show here in Chicago but hopefully they'll be back soon.

[mae0111]

Just found out that layoffs are happening today. My waaaaah is twofold.

1. I will not be laid off.
2. My good work friend who lives 3K miles away will be laid off. He knows it's coming, and he's thrilled. But I will miss him a lot, and he will have no more business trips to bring him to my area.

[sudokufan]

indyrowergirl, I've been through layoffs but at least I didn't know specifically when it was coming just that they were likely. I'd have been a nervous wreck too.

twinmomma, I might join k3am's posse. We could stop off at somebabiesmom's house for a "Duuuuuuude, put on you big boy panties" for her H. I have had to have this talk with my own H once in awhile (to be fair, ours is a two way street ) But the complaining and not letting it go and then silent treatment? Over waiting an hour while your spouse gets a treat? oooh, we could bust out the

[akafred]

Feb 22, 2017 10:57:21 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

Just found out that layoffs are happening today. My waaaaah is twofold.

1. I will not be laid off.
2. My good work friend who lives 3K miles away will be laid off. He knows it's coming, and he's thrilled. But I will miss him a lot, and he will have no more business trips to bring him to my area.

Dammit, people, lay Mae off! She only did a little better than last year and last year was terrible . Give her a fat severance and cut that cord.

[indyrowergirl]

Feb 22, 2017 10:57:21 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

Just found out that layoffs are happening today. My waaaaah is twofold.

1. I will not be laid off.
2. My good work friend who lives 3K miles away will be laid off. He knows it's coming, and he's thrilled. But I will miss him a lot, and he will have no more business trips to bring him to my area.

I hear ya mae0111,.  I really want to be laid off too.  Sorry it's not happening for you.  I'm not even sure whether or not it's happening for me, thus the additional anxiety.  Fingers crossed that Friday comes and I'm drinking to celebrate, not to drown out my sorrows that I will be here for another 20 years.  (Only kind of kidding on that last part - the pension here is really good.)