How do you split chores?

[amch8]

I am realizing that the way that H and I have split up household responsibilities is unsustainable. Those of you who are in a relationship where both partners work full time, who is responsible for what on the home front?

[rachydc]

My husband cooks almost every meal. He also takes out the trash. We split doing the dishes/cleaning the kitchen each night. I do the laundry. He knows I dont do it consistently and he can do it on his own if he needs clothes (but wont). He also makes the bed most mornings. We take turns vacuuming, but are generally pretty lazy about doing so. If I need help, I ask him. I usually bathe A, but he will do it if I ask or Im working late one night where she needs one. That's chore-wise. All finances are taken care of by him because he's a sicko and loves numbers and budgets.

[Deleted]

Me: finances, other administrative, laundry, tidying toys, occasionally dishes (1/4-5), occasionally meals (same)
Him: most cooking and dishes, grocery shopping (1/5), daycare pickups/dropoffs, outdoor chores

Largely shared: groceries, vacuuming, cleaning kitchen surfaces at night, garbage/recycling

[CoachTsWife]

My husband takes out the trash, takes care of the yard, manages car maintenance, does 90% of the grocery shopping, and does about 75% of his laundry. He also makes the bed every day.

I'm mostly in charge of cleaning (because I'm particular), but he'll gladly vacuum, tidy up, and do laundry (or anything else) if I ask him.

We meal plan together and share cooking about 65(me)/35(dh). I do daycare drop-off every day and we split pick-ups about 20(me)/80(dh).

Everything except trash, yard maintenance, and car maintenance shifts to about 90% me during football season because he just isn't home much during those months. He stopped coaching basketball this year because it was too much for me to handle everything for both seasons (August-January).

[wells2010]

We split almost everything. We will have a pile for bills and whoever is off on payday will go through them and tell the other what's been paid so we don't overdraw. I manage long term savings and budgeting certain things.

Whoever cleans the kitchen at night will do a quick sweep.

Both of us cook pretty equally. Whoever doesn't cook usually cleans if we are both home. It's tough because about 3-5 nights a week one of us is solo for dinner/bedtime.

We both do laundry. We both fold. Neither of us put it away (see cleaning thread).

He doesn't do toilets. He will vacuum if absolutely necessary, but I'm usually the one to vacuum and mop floors.

He cleans the garage and does the mowing. We both do yard maintenance (i.e. Trim shrubs). Our yard is small, so it's not bad at all.

He does a ton and I am so thankful. There's no way I'd survive if he didn't help out, especially now being tired and pregnant.

[mrsbeachcat]

I don't work full time, but we still do a fairly equitable split. We take turns on almost everything, except I do a bit more vacuuming and he takes out the trash more often. It has all happened fairly organically and i definitely appreciate that he considers me taking care of Bill work enough to not expect me to do all household chores just because I'm home.

[amch8]

Here's where we're at right now:

Me: grocery shopping, cooking meals, all laundry, all cleaning in between bi-weekly cleaners (except countertops - H does those after he does the dishes), feeding the dog, JR's morning routine, daycare drop off and pick up, packing her lunch, all doctor's appointments and vet appointments, bath time, teeth brushing

H: Dishes, garbage, mowing the lawn (seasonal), caring for the pool (seasonal), daytime dog walks (except days when he's not working from home), managing the home finances

We split: Fall leaf raking, snow removal, JR's bedtime routine, dog walks

All this being said, he also works significantly more hours weekly than I do. I work about 40-50 hours and he works about 75 hours. We disagree on where the appropriate split lies, but I think there's at least some room for movement. Ugh. Adulting is hard.

[lonegalathome]

My dh does dishes and bath time. He'll fix small things at home. He wakes with the first kid in the am. I do everything else. I'm not sure he could find the pediatricians office and he'd be lost in the grocery.

He does long term finances/investing.

I told him Cub scouts was all him. Well it's 2 weeks until it's his turn to lead 2 meetings and he has no speaker booked and hasn't planned anything (and he only remembers it's his turn since I reminded him a few days ago).

I wish it was better distributed but I don't know how to logistically make it happen.

[vvvvvfee]

Me: grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, clean bathrooms, kids' morning routine (although H helps if he's there) + daycare drop-off, packing lunches for everyone, kids' doctor's appointments, household/administrative stuff (keeping track of family calendar, calling about getting things fixed, talking to insurance company, etc.), shopping for household stuff/clothes

H: Dishes, put away laundry, lawn mowing, leaf pickup, snow shoveling, vacuuming/sweeping/mopping, kids' evening routine, minor household repairs/maintenance (unclogging drains, assembling furniture, installing car seats, installing/uninstalling the a/c units)

Both: load/unload dishwasher, take out garbage/recycling, empty cat litter, feed cats, pick up and put away toys/clutter. we each manage our own set of household expenses and deal with maintenance on our own cars

i do the cooking/grocery shopping because i enjoy it. if one of us is sick or feeling lazy the other one picks up the slack. we also have some help from my mom, who picks the kids up from DC every day, and often empties our dishwasher for us or picks up toys or something before we get home from work.

here's a couple of articles that might be helpful:
Dividing Housework: Pipe Dream or Something I Can Tell You How To Accomplish?
Five Ways To Make Your Husband Do More Stuff

[rach]

me: meal planning, bill paying/budget, kid/household research & purchases, bedtime routine, 80% of dishes, cooking on the weekend, my laundry, most upstairs cleaning, weekly grocery order

H: landscaping (not lawn cutting), floors, laundry (his own, AB's, linens/towels), most downstairs cleaning, general tidying & purging, cooking weeknights, in person shopping, car repairs

Older kids: their own rooms, garbage/recycling, their own laundry & linens, 20% dishes, other chores as needed

We outsource having our lawn cut. Wish we could outsource some more!

[LydiaDeetz]

Feb 23, 2017 11:43:24 GMT -5 @justinslovo said:

I do it all.

+1

[LydiaDeetz]

Feb 23, 2017 17:35:36 GMT -5 @justinslovo said:

Feb 23, 2017 17:29:23 GMT -5 LydiaDeetz said:

+1

But I already knew this since we're married to the same man...

Does that make us sister wives?