Therapy/grief counseling

[jrun2013]

Have you ladies gone to counseling to help with your loss? If so, how has it helped you?

I've never been to therapy and have never considered it to be my thing (although I guess I can't know for sure), but now I'm considering it. I think I need to find ways to cope and I'm wondering if a therapist can help me with this.

I guess I'm just wondering how it works and how/if it helps.

Thank you!

[professormcgonagall]

I saw a counselor a couple of months ago and I didn't really like it because she made me feel like I had no reason to be there.
However, I am calling today to get set up with a new counselor to see if it works any better. I've been told that a lot of times it's just finding the right person.

[fknhostile]

I see a therapist every other week. It has helped tremendously. She helped me open up about my feelings with others around me (I usually bottle up my emotions) and she helped me cope with my anxiety and panic attacks.

I was skeptical at first because I've been to counselors before that just weren't a good fit. But I'm happy I've found her.

[Deleted]

I saw a therapist and it helped so much. You definitely have to find the right person, though, and that can be rough at first. You want someone you get along with, where your personalities match. Almost like someone you could be friends with. At least that's how I go about it. Some are good and some are bad. Don't assume because the first person you see is shit that it won't help. Try to find someone else. Talk therapy can be a life saver.

[shandorfml2]

I saw a therapist and have on and off since, and it has been a big help. I also attend a monthly support group for parents who have lost children to miscarriage, pregnancy loss, stillbirth or early infant loss. That has been a major support.

[sandj918]

I see someone monthly and it has helped a lot. Finding the right person is key. Sometimes we talk about healthy ways to cope and sometimes it's just nice to have someone to talk to where I can let it all out and just have them listen.

[jrun2013]

Thank you for your responses. I go to a monthly support group, so I'm going to ask for a recommendation at the meeting this week and try it out.

shandorfml2 I go to a similar group as well. I've only been twice, but I'm looking forward to going again.

@profeesormcgonagall I'm sorry that counselor made you feel that way. Hopefully you are able to find someone better.

[fikafairy67]

I haven't been to therapy, but I AM a counselor/therapist by background/training, so I didn't feel like it would be super helpful for me personally. I am part of several facebook groups though, and speak frequently via text/PM to several other moms who have gone through the same type of loss I did. That type of support, along with the coping strategies I started on my own, seems to be doing enough to get me through day to day.

DH is going to therapy now, partially to help deal with our loss and partially because he tends to hold onto a lot of anger/resentment for how screwed up his family can be. He goes about 1x/month, and has only been twice so far.

I think for some people it is definitely helpful, if you find the right person.

[jrun2013]

Mar 1, 2017 15:31:43 GMT -5 fikafairy67 said:

I haven't been to therapy, but I AM a counselor/therapist by background/training, so I didn't feel like it would be super helpful for me personally. I am part of several facebook groups though, and speak frequently via text/PM to several other moms who have gone through the same type of loss I did. That type of support, along with the coping strategies I started on my own, seems to be doing enough to get me through day to day.

DH is going to therapy now, partially to help deal with our loss and partially because he tends to hold onto a lot of anger/resentment for how screwed up his family can be. He goes about 1x/month, and has only been twice so far.

I think for some people it is definitely helpful, if you find the right person.

What coping strategies did you start on your own?

[fikafairy67]

Mar 1, 2017 17:05:45 GMT -5 jrun2013 said:

Mar 1, 2017 15:31:43 GMT -5 fikafairy67 said:

I haven't been to therapy, but I AM a counselor/therapist by background/training, so I didn't feel like it would be super helpful for me personally. I am part of several facebook groups though, and speak frequently via text/PM to several other moms who have gone through the same type of loss I did. That type of support, along with the coping strategies I started on my own, seems to be doing enough to get me through day to day.

DH is going to therapy now, partially to help deal with our loss and partially because he tends to hold onto a lot of anger/resentment for how screwed up his family can be. He goes about 1x/month, and has only been twice so far.

I think for some people it is definitely helpful, if you find the right person.

What coping strategies did you start on your own?

I started a letter journal, where I write letters to her whenever I feel the need to or want to.  I also allow myself the space to take whatever time I need away from people when I'm just not feeling up to it.  

The other thing that helps a LOT for me personally is music - a specific album by Lindsey Stirling (Brave Enough) seems to be the most therapeutic for me.  Before I even read what the album was inspired by, it just seemed to be telling my story.  Apparently she wrote the album after losing one of her best friends to cancer.  Something else that helps hold me together is working on steps to move forward and figure out how we are going to try again.  Because our loss was something out of our control that can be prevented if we do some very specific things, focusing on that is helping a little.  

A lot of it is finding what works for you and what feels right.  

[mommytoava]

We started going to counseling the day after the funeral. We had a great grief counselor who helped us a lot. We saw her every week for about a year until we moved out of state. We found a counselor when we moved and we don't go as often, it's still helpful.

[peaseblossom55]

I went to therapy. I don't think she was a grief counselor per se, but she was wonderful. I knew I wanted to work with her from the moment I spoke with her. I normally went every 2-3 weeks depending on my mood.

[panchal]

Hi
I saw a counselor last year when I suffered a stillbirth. I took the right decision at the right time. He consoled me in every way and set down goals for me to achieve. He was really a very nice person and he helped me so much. He also made me overcome all my fears. There are many situations in life where you need a therapist to cure you. Sometimes when you don’t get what you wanted may lead you to suffer from the pain of failure. The pain of failure is so profound that you stop trying and negativity starts killing you. This is when you are suffering from depression. Depression causes various mental disorders like anxiety, stress etc. This is the time when you push yourself away from each relationship and start blaming either yourself or others for the problems you faced. It is always better to see a proper therapist than to suffer alone. Especially when you are too introvert to open up and share your loss with your friends.

[alia]

Hi,I am new to this forum. I do not know where to start. I was a very ambitious in my teenage and early twenties. I was more of a wild child. I had 4 abortions. After the fourth one, the doctor told me that I had lost my fertility. At that time, it did not seem that big of an issue. But in a weird turn of events, I found the love of my life. We got married in the next two years. When I told him about my condition. He got angry but stayed. I got depressed and went for counselling. One of the ladies there suggested surrogacy. I was nervous and confused first but now our baby is on it's way. We are happy.

[alia]

Hi,I am new to this forum. I do not know where to start. I was a very ambitious in my teenage and early twenties. I was more of a wild child. I had 4 abortions. After the fourth one, the doctor told me that I had lost my fertility. At that time, it did not seem that big of an issue. But in a weird turn of events, I found the love of my life. We got married in the next two years. When I told him about my condition. He got angry but stayed. I got depressed and went for counselling. One of the ladies there suggested surrogacy. I was nervous and confused first but now our baby is on it's way. We are happy.

[lucia]

Hey there. I'm really sorry for your loss. I can relate a lot to you. I, myself, didn't really believe a lot in shrinks. However, my loss left me with no other option. I can assure you they help a lot! I'd suggest you look into it.

[sarahmay]

I have been to therapy. And it really helped me to move forward with my life. The loss a child did shook me. The counselor I was referred to by my RE. And I realized that it was so important for me to vent my feelings that were all bottled up for so long. Things got pretty normal after. I remarried again. But yeah, the struggle with fertility is persistent but I am much more stable emotionally then I was. Would recommend you!!

[jennifer123]

I am really sorry for your loss. I can understand how hard this must have been for you. However, don't lose hope. I would suggest getting therapy. Especially if you have not been able to overcome the loss. I would also suggest diverting your mind. Keep yourself busy. That will help you out as well. Good luck to you. Sending baby dust your mind. I hope things work for you. Research about a good clinic. Research if they have a high success rate or not. This will really be helpful. Prayers are your way.