WWJ15 do?

[amch8]

I received a gift from my SIL in the mail this week, I assume to make me feel better about the uterine scan. (She told my H she ordered it the day before the procedure.) According to H, she asked what would cheer me up and he said chocolate or a manicure. Both true! She sent me a plush of a uterus.

I think her choice was in particularly poor taste. Even though she sent it before we got results, she knew we were going in to scan for uterine abnormalities. She dealt with some fertility issues before undergoing IUI and having twins, and I feel like this would be similar to my sending her a plush uterus as she was dealing with those issues. It's also important to note that she eats really stale crackers for me.

Anyway, here's the question:
Would you just pretend you never received it and move on or would you tell her that her choice in "gift" hurt my feelings because it made light of a medical condition that caused complications in my last pregnancy and could complicate a future pregnancy?

And a second question:
Am I super overreacting?

[lovemyirishtwins]

Is she your husband's sister or married to your brother?

If she is your husband's sister, I would tell your husband she hurt your feelings and you found the gift insensitive. Perhaps he can talk to her easily. This is coming from someone that hates confrontation.

Or I think in this case you can call her and say I received your gift and appreciate that you were thinking of me but I found the actual gift insensitive. If you're honest and kind to her in the way you broach the subject that is all you can do. You cannot control how she responds.

I do not think you're overreacting, I find it tacky. Where does one even find a plush uterus? That is something she would have to actively search for and obviously thought it would be funny. It was in poor taste.

[lovemyirishtwins]

I mean can you imagine googling plush uterus and thinking wow this will go over really well???

[rachydc]

I agree with everything lovemyirishtwins said! I'm on mobile, but if I could, I'd use the "you're tacky and I hate you" gif From school of Rock

[ncjulia12]

That is super tacky and weird and I don't think you're overreacting.

I think whatever feels good for you in this situation is fine. I would acknowledge that you received it, but it's up to you if you want to go into how hurtful it was or just thank her for the thought and forget about it.

And get that stupid thing out of your house today with no guilt.

[italianmommy]

1) You are not overreacting. That gift sounds... weird. Was there a note explaining it at all? Like did the proceeds of the thing go to a meaningful women's health charity? Or was that gifted to her by a friend when she was struggling with her own issues, so she's "paying it forward" so to speak? (Like Sisterhood of the Traveling Uterus)

2) I feel like since it was probably meant with kindness (though awkwardly off mark) I personally wouldn't say something directly to her. My justification is ... I doubt one will receive more than one uterus-related paraphernalia in their lifetime. It's likely not a mistake that will keep happening.

3) However, if I wanted to address the situation, I'd probably say, "I got your gift. Thanks for thinking of me. How'd you find something like this? It's very, interesting." (I'd make my sarcasm known, but that's just me - I tend to diffuse awkward conversations with humor)

You are not overreacting at all. And let me just say this is a good lesson for us all. CHOCOLATE OR MANICURES ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ARE THE PREFERRED GIFTS.

[Deleted]

This is weird. I don't like it. It reminds me of when trey gets charlotte the cardboard baby in that episode of sex and the city when they were having issues. It's tacky and insensitive. And just weird. People are weird.

[rachydc]

Mar 12, 2017 8:25:38 GMT -5 @wafflesfriendswork said:

I would go full office space on it, light it on fire, take a picture of it burning, and text it to her with the comment like "thanks, that was really cathartic after a scary and painful procedure!"

How'd I know you'd take this to an 11? Hahaha. Love it

[amch8]

Mar 12, 2017 8:33:28 GMT -5 @katechristine18 said:

This is weird. I don't like it. It reminds me of when trey gets charlotte the cardboard baby in that episode of sex and the city when they were having issues. It's tacky and insensitive. And just weird. People are weird.

This is exactly the example I gave to H, apparently forgetting that he's a man and would not get the reference.

[kristhegirl]

Mar 12, 2017 7:27:52 GMT -5 rachydc said:

I agree with everything lovemyirishtwins said! I'm on mobile, but if I could, I'd use the "you're tacky and I hate you" gif From school of Rock

I got you.

[amch8]

lovemyirishtwins It's my H's sister. I'm going to ignore it but register my thoughts to him just to vent, I think.

[amch8]

Mar 12, 2017 7:25:49 GMT -5 lovemyirishtwins said:

I mean can you imagine googling plush uterus and thinking wow this will go over really well???

This made me lol.

[EmMilAlly]

Since she asked your H what would cheer you up, I'd assume she meant well and is just a moron. I would be sure your h knows that it hurt your feelings and he can say something if it comes up. And skip the thank you note...

[Deleted]

Mar 12, 2017 7:25:49 GMT -5 lovemyirishtwins said:

I mean can you imagine googling plush uterus and thinking wow this will go over really well???

And who gets told that chocolate and a manicure would be the best option and then thinks "no wait I think a stuffed plush uterus sounds way better."

[kristhegirl]

I'm trying to think of a situation where a plush organ is the right gift.



Drawing a blank.

[rayann687]

I agree with others that I would let my H know my feelings about it. I probably wouldn't actually confront her, because I hate confrontation. I would feel the same way if someone got me that, like what were they thinking??

[Deleted]

Mar 12, 2017 8:25:38 GMT -5 @wafflesfriendswork said:

I would go full office space on it, light it on fire, take a picture of it burning, and text it to her with the comment like "thanks, that was really cathartic after a scary and painful procedure!"

Lighting it on fire sounds awesome, honestly.

[Deleted]

Mar 12, 2017 8:25:38 GMT -5 @wafflesfriendswork said:

I would go full office space on it, light it on fire, take a picture of it burning, and text it to her with the comment like "thanks, that was really cathartic after a scary and painful procedure!"

I have to say, this is my favorite suggestion of all the suggestions.

I think because knowing more of your history, she has a long and storied past of completely dick passive aggressive moves, and I think it's crap. Of course she does this so that if you say something, she can play the wounded one because "she was just trying to do something nice!"

The only way I see the situation improving is with a somewhat ugly explosion where you yell at her, and then she yells back, and you finally get all of the crap that causes her to behave like such a turd out in the open where you can actually deal with it. This is obviously the Greek in me.

In actuality, I think a discussion where you just say "I'm hoping you thought this would be a funny joke that made me smile, but it felt like you were saying that my feelings and worry over a medical condition are a joke and don't matter to you, which was really hurtful" is probably more appropriate.

[Deleted]

Office speaks the truth.

[EmMilAlly]

Mar 12, 2017 9:14:19 GMT -5 kristhegirl said:

I'm trying to think of a situation where a plush organ is the right gift.



Drawing a blank.

We had a weight loss program at work and we all received plush fat cells as a "prize." Yuck.

[kristhegirl]

Mar 12, 2017 10:08:38 GMT -5 @wafflesfriendswork said:

Mar 12, 2017 9:14:19 GMT -5 kristhegirl said:

I'm trying to think of a situation where a plush organ is the right gift.



Drawing a blank.

I would give a plush kidney to some one that gave me a kidney. Or a new graduate from medical school - like a brain for a brain surgeon.


BUT THAT IS IT.

This is better than what I eventually came up with - someone explicitly saying "I would like a plush spleen for my birthday." Then okay.

[Deleted]

I she going to try to get pregnant again? I'd wait until then and send it back to her.

[ncjulia12]

Mar 12, 2017 10:13:18 GMT -5 EmMilAlly said:

Mar 12, 2017 9:14:19 GMT -5 kristhegirl said:

I'm trying to think of a situation where a plush organ is the right gift.



Drawing a blank.

We had a weight loss program at work and we all received plush fat cells as a "prize." Yuck.

[wells2010]

I would just thank her and move on. She obviously was trying to make you feel better. Based on what you've said, she doesn't seem to have been trying to be a jerk.

I wouldn't tell her it hurt my feelings for fear that she would feel bad about it. Then two people are feeling bad.

FWIW, that's just me though and I tend to make light of serious things in order to cope with them, so take my advice with some salt.

[wells2010]

We were celebrating the reopening of our neuro unit and the neurologist brought us in a very lifelike brain cake. I thought it was cool.

[lovemyirishtwins]

Mar 12, 2017 9:31:32 GMT -5 lawandorder said:

Unless they make a plush hand with bendy fingers for the purpose of flipping someone off. Then I think you send her a gift too.

Any of these seem appropriate for her. I like the mug the best. Or perhaps you get the mug for yourself and drink from it any time she is over?

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00U8B8I3M/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1489336618&sr=8-6&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=middle+finger&dpPl=1&dpID=51L8-3O5adL&ref=plSrch

www.amazon.com/Dutch-Brook-Creative-Middle-Cushion/dp/B01LY92U2W

www.emojillc.com/products/classic-emoji-12-plush-pillow-middle-finger

[ncjulia12]

Mar 12, 2017 10:08:38 GMT -5 @wafflesfriendswork said:

Mar 12, 2017 9:14:19 GMT -5 kristhegirl said:

I'm trying to think of a situation where a plush organ is the right gift.



Drawing a blank.

I would give a plush kidney to some one that gave me a kidney. Or a new graduate from medical school - like a brain for a brain surgeon.


BUT THAT IS IT.

I love how this conversation has taken this turn into the possible appropriate opportunities for plush organs.

[lonegalathome]

At least you are going to win the office white elephant gift exchange next time....

So weird.

[trebletrouble13]

I agree that that was an inappropriate gift. I would love to have one of these adipose, though.

[shawnabm1320]

That is the weirdest gift. I'm with kristhegirl. Who thinks sending plush organs to people is a good idea ever??