It's 3 AM and I'm wide awake. We are making good progress on the nursery and I'm so excited to finish it. We just finished fixing all the little holes in the walls (So many screws from the previous owners) and painted. Now we have to finish building all the furniture and decorate. I'm totally in nesting mode and don't remember it starting this early last time.
Post by surprisemomat24 on Mar 31, 2017 8:37:03 GMT -5
I'm wondering if my reaction to this is justified or totally over the top/hormone driven (just for reference, I cried over our dishwasher not too long ago when we were having a plumbing issue). So neither DH nor I have social media. I deleted alllllll accounts I had (fb, insta, twitter, etc) around 2 years ago because it was distracting me from being an active learner in my graduate program and I just never missed it enough to get it back. He deleted his at around the same time because he was late to the social media party and never really got into it to begin with. All of our family have it. My sisters been bugging me to make some kind of announcement about the baby because she's super excited to be an aunt for the first time and that's totally fair. However DH and I aren't ready to throw it out there and wanted to allow her to do that after baby is born and mommy and baby are healthy (especially given the scares we've had with baby's kidney and my genetic predisposition to GD and preeclampsia). Well I thought my mom would have at least asked to put it on Facebook but she didn't and she posted about it. So then my sister comes to me like why can't I if she did and when I called my mom to explain that we don't want it out there to the world yet and to please take it down and we'd let her know when we were comfortable with her sharing she acted like I was overreacting and that it's her first grandchild and that her account is private and she doesn't even have a lot of friends and it's not fair to her for me to ask her to remove it. Eventually she listened to me but she made it seem like I was being unreasonable and I really don't think I was. I'm the momma! This is my first child! It shouldn't be a big issue if I say I don't want something out to the world about my child!
northmom14 I hope you were able to get some sleep. I would love to see some pictures of the furniture when it's done. As far as nesting, I think it hits on and off for some people. @pianolove ugh I hate spiders. However my weakness is snakes. If there is ever a snake in my house is will burn it down because I'm sure it came in to have babies and they are all hiding under the beds! surprisemomat24 I know how you feel. I don't have any social media and dh doesn't post much personal info on his FB. My mom started begging as soon as I told her if she could post the news. After weeks of begging she just did it herself. It's not your mom or sister's place to put it out there. I'm sorry you are dealing with that.
surprisemomat24, I agree it is your decision, but I guess I am playing devil's advocate. I dont see the harm in your mom posting "I am going to be a grandmother!" or your sister saying "so excited to become and Aunt this summer!" It sounds like you have shared with friends and family that you are expecting at this point. If you havent shared then yes 100% they should wait until you are ready for people to know.
My belly is so big I dont have a choice about the world knowing!
surprisemomat24, I agree it is your decision, but I guess I am playing devil's advocate. I dont see the harm in your mom posting "I am going to be a grandmother!" or your sister saying "so excited to become and Aunt this summer!" It sounds like you have shared with friends and family that you are expecting at this point. If you havent shared then yes 100% they should wait until you are ready for people to know.
My belly is so big I dont have a choice about the world knowing!
Mine too!! And that's exactly the point is that our closest family and friends (aka the important people) do know so why put it on Facebook where they're friends with people that don't know DH and I. For instance my sister has over 1000 friends she's accumulated over the years through high school and college etc. And this might be me being paranoid but even if your account is private nothing on the internet is guaranteed. And I know it sounds like I'm finding reasons to argue it but like bepandnick said it's our baby our rules and I just don't like the feeling that they'd rather put it out there to get attention for themselves than respect what DH and I feel comfortable with.
surprisemomat24 , I agree it is your decision, but I guess I am playing devil's advocate. I dont see the harm in your mom posting "I am going to be a grandmother!" or your sister saying "so excited to become and Aunt this summer!" It sounds like you have shared with friends and family that you are expecting at this point. If you havent shared then yes 100% they should wait until you are ready for people to know.
My belly is so big I dont have a choice about the world knowing!
Mine too!! And that's exactly the point is that our closest family and friends (aka the important people) do know so why put it on Facebook where they're friends with people that don't know DH and I. For instance my sister has over 1000 friends she's accumulated over the years through high school and college etc. And this might be me being paranoid but even if your account is private nothing on the internet is guaranteed. And I know it sounds like I'm finding reasons to argue it but like bepandnick said it's our baby our rules and I just don't like the feeling that they'd rather put it out there to get attention for themselves than respect what DH and I feel comfortable with.
It is definitely about them. I think your sister whining about your mom doing it (even if behind your back) is a bit weird. Like grow up? Its a facebook status!
I am trying to think back if I said anything about my sister when she was preggly (I didn't have to worry about these things with DS back in 06) I feel like I shared their post after he was born so only our mutual friends saw it anyway.
surprisemomat24 I echo your baby your rules. Personally it wouldn't bother me that people posted about it this late in the game, but that's a personal thing and I understand the hesitation too. The point is, they need to respect your wishes.
On the social media note... I should probably just delete mine. I like being able to connect with friends and family and see pictures and stuff but man it's a pain sometimes!! I come from a very religious circle of people. My father in law is the pastor of our church, and I've been going there my whole life. I'm not nearly as strict about stuff as many of the church ladies on my friends list... I "shared" a post the other day about growing up in the nineties. It was just a collection of pictures and explanations of things that nineties kids can all relate to and it was funny! But I wasn't thinking when I posted it, and there's was some language on the first slide that showed on my Facebook. Apparently that became a subject of much gossip among those church ladies and got back around to my father in law who then talked to dh about it who then came home and asked me to take it down. My bad, I shouldn't have posted it knowing who many of my connections are but I honestly hadn't even noticed the language. And seriously?!?! You have nothing better to do than gossip about the one post that had some language?!?! And if you really have a problem with it, talk to me, not each other, and certainly not the pastor of the church for heavens sake!!!!!!! I was so mad.
I wore my support brace for 13 hours at work yesterday and now this baby has moved. He was head down on my right side and I really hope he is still head down. I'm feeling everything on my left side right now.
Post by surprisemomat24 on Apr 1, 2017 9:28:51 GMT -5
Thanks for the input babywisher, juliayadda, bepandnick, @pianolove, murran13!!! I'm kind of over it now I don't want to hem and haw about it. I think just being a FTM and wanting to be able to do everything our way and making this time about DH and I and baby is stuck in my brain. I'm the older child and I've always been the "glue" of the family, the patient one that went with the flow to keep everyone happy even if it meant making a lot of compromises about my feelings and wants and now that I'm having a child I'm SO over that notion and I'm totally okay with being as selfish and crazy as I want about things hahaha
surprisemomat24 I echo your baby your rules. Personally it wouldn't bother me that people posted about it this late in the game, but that's a personal thing and I understand the hesitation too. The point is, they need to respect your wishes.
On the social media note... I should probably just delete mine. I like being able to connect with friends and family and see pictures and stuff but man it's a pain sometimes!! I come from a very religious circle of people. My father in law is the pastor of our church, and I've been going there my whole life. I'm not nearly as strict about stuff as many of the church ladies on my friends list... I "shared" a post the other day about growing up in the nineties. It was just a collection of pictures and explanations of things that nineties kids can all relate to and it was funny! But I wasn't thinking when I posted it, and there's was some language on the first slide that showed on my Facebook. Apparently that became a subject of much gossip among those church ladies and got back around to my father in law who then talked to dh about it who then came home and asked me to take it down. My bad, I shouldn't have posted it knowing who many of my connections are but I honestly hadn't even noticed the language. And seriously?!?! You have nothing better to do than gossip about the one post that had some language?!?! And if you really have a problem with it, talk to me, not each other, and certainly not the pastor of the church for heavens sake!!!!!!! I was so mad.
That is just so obnoxious you obviously didn't post it for shock value and it's so unfortunate that those ladies took it and ran with it 🤦♀️ something like that is why I really enjoy not having social media...people can't hold anything silly against you and can only judge what you put forth in person
We had a pretty good weekend. Saw some friends yesterday and it's finally nice today so we got to spend a lot of time outside. Also continued to make progress on the nursery. Thanks DH!
We just got home from Columbus and I am swollen, sunburnt, and exhausted. I am so excited to sleep in my own bed. I did score a few awesome summer dresses while shopping though!
H ran a really hard half marathon yesterday. He thought he did poorly, but ended up setting a PR!! I'm really proud. It was at the Jack Daniel's distillery, so we got him a bottle of single barrel whiskey and they did laser etching on the bottle with the marathon logo, his name, the date, and his time.
My BFF gave birth yesterday! She got induced Friday afternoon. She was a week and a half overdue and her fluids started getting low. He was 7 pounds, 3 oz, 21 inches long. I cried when I saw the picture of them together! I can't wait until Tuesday so I can go see them.
surprisemomat24 I echo your baby your rules. Personally it wouldn't bother me that people posted about it this late in the game, but that's a personal thing and I understand the hesitation too. The point is, they need to respect your wishes.
On the social media note... I should probably just delete mine. I like being able to connect with friends and family and see pictures and stuff but man it's a pain sometimes!! I come from a very religious circle of people. My father in law is the pastor of our church, and I've been going there my whole life. I'm not nearly as strict about stuff as many of the church ladies on my friends list... I "shared" a post the other day about growing up in the nineties. It was just a collection of pictures and explanations of things that nineties kids can all relate to and it was funny! But I wasn't thinking when I posted it, and there's was some language on the first slide that showed on my Facebook. Apparently that became a subject of much gossip among those church ladies and got back around to my father in law who then talked to dh about it who then came home and asked me to take it down. My bad, I shouldn't have posted it knowing who many of my connections are but I honestly hadn't even noticed the language. And seriously?!?! You have nothing better to do than gossip about the one post that had some language?!?! And if you really have a problem with it, talk to me, not each other, and certainly not the pastor of the church for heavens sake!!!!!!! I was so mad.
Yeah, I would totally not use social media then. I don't have time to filter everything I post to make other people happy.
I'm wondering if my reaction to this is justified or totally over the top/hormone driven (just for reference, I cried over our dishwasher not too long ago when we were having a plumbing issue). So neither DH nor I have social media. I deleted alllllll accounts I had (fb, insta, twitter, etc) around 2 years ago because it was distracting me from being an active learner in my graduate program and I just never missed it enough to get it back. He deleted his at around the same time because he was late to the social media party and never really got into it to begin with. All of our family have it. My sisters been bugging me to make some kind of announcement about the baby because she's super excited to be an aunt for the first time and that's totally fair. However DH and I aren't ready to throw it out there and wanted to allow her to do that after baby is born and mommy and baby are healthy (especially given the scares we've had with baby's kidney and my genetic predisposition to GD and preeclampsia). Well I thought my mom would have at least asked to put it on Facebook but she didn't and she posted about it. So then my sister comes to me like why can't I if she did and when I called my mom to explain that we don't want it out there to the world yet and to please take it down and we'd let her know when we were comfortable with her sharing she acted like I was overreacting and that it's her first grandchild and that her account is private and she doesn't even have a lot of friends and it's not fair to her for me to ask her to remove it. Eventually she listened to me but she made it seem like I was being unreasonable and I really don't think I was. I'm the momma! This is my first child! It shouldn't be a big issue if I say I don't want something out to the world about my child!
I completely understand where you are coming from. But if it's an issue now, you will have a lot of problems after the baby is born (unless you don't care after that point). My mom takes photos I send her of DS and posts it without asking. It's so irritating but I've just realized I can only share what I don't mind other people seeing.
I'm wondering if my reaction to this is justified or totally over the top/hormone driven (just for reference, I cried over our dishwasher not too long ago when we were having a plumbing issue). So neither DH nor I have social media. I deleted alllllll accounts I had (fb, insta, twitter, etc) around 2 years ago because it was distracting me from being an active learner in my graduate program and I just never missed it enough to get it back. He deleted his at around the same time because he was late to the social media party and never really got into it to begin with. All of our family have it. My sisters been bugging me to make some kind of announcement about the baby because she's super excited to be an aunt for the first time and that's totally fair. However DH and I aren't ready to throw it out there and wanted to allow her to do that after baby is born and mommy and baby are healthy (especially given the scares we've had with baby's kidney and my genetic predisposition to GD and preeclampsia). Well I thought my mom would have at least asked to put it on Facebook but she didn't and she posted about it. So then my sister comes to me like why can't I if she did and when I called my mom to explain that we don't want it out there to the world yet and to please take it down and we'd let her know when we were comfortable with her sharing she acted like I was overreacting and that it's her first grandchild and that her account is private and she doesn't even have a lot of friends and it's not fair to her for me to ask her to remove it. Eventually she listened to me but she made it seem like I was being unreasonable and I really don't think I was. I'm the momma! This is my first child! It shouldn't be a big issue if I say I don't want something out to the world about my child!
I completely understand where you are coming from. But if it's an issue now, you will have a lot of problems after the baby is born (unless you don't care after that point). My mom takes photos I send her of DS and posts it without asking. It's so irritating but I've just realized I can only share what I don't mind other people seeing.
Yeah I mean by then I don't think I'll mind as much. I just wish that the boundary wasn't crossed and she would have asked knowing that we have anxieties about the pregnancy with baby's kidney. It's not like we expected all things baby to be under wraps forever...when she's out and we can happily say "mommy and baby are perfectly healthy" then family has full permission to brag about it.
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