Mental Health Check-In [3/30]

[macaronmama]

Definitely been too long since we had a check-in. Let's get that support train going again.

{sanibel21 smallpotato iwantbacon mg0202 britta @kitchen fem penguin129 }


Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle:

Recent related difficulties/vent:

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health:

GTKY: Do you have anything coming up in spring or summer that you have to look forward to?

[sanibel21]

So glad you started this macaronmama! How are you doing?

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle:
Anxiety, depression

Recent related difficulties/vent:
Being patient with the results of zoloft, dd2s sleep, both girls having the flu.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health:
I'm finally more able to look at the "bright side" of things more and also accept that things are not perfect. Which is a big improvement.
I really need to start walking more. I keep saying I'll do it when the weather gets warmer.

GTKY: Do you have anything coming up in spring or summer that you have to look forward to?
I like yard work and outdoor chores. I'm looking forward to planting a garden. Hope to have the girls out in the yard a lot. Go for walks.

[smallpotato]

I was actually thinking about starting this today. It has been a long time.

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: Anxiety with depression

Recent related difficulties/vent: We've been on a seesaw with sleep. I'm trying to take it in stride, but MH gets frustrated. We're still waiting to hear from the developmental pedi for an appointment for N. My PCP officially changed my Zoloft dose to 100mg, and it is definitely helping me. My main worry right now is keeping up with pumping and having enough milk. I'm trying not to beat myself up over it, but I didn't have this issue with N.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health: I need warmer weather. It is nice that the sun is out later, but I really don't want to have to bundle the boys up to take a walk at night.

GTKY: Do you have anything coming up in spring or summer that you have to look forward to?

My two aunts and one of my cousins are coming to visit from Arizona in May. They'll be meeting G for the first time, and I am so excited! We're starting G in swim lessons in May. I'm also looking forward to taking the boys to the beach this summer. I think I am going to get a pass for the town beach this year.

[penguin129]

I've been thinking about starting this too. Thank you macaronmama!


Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: Anxiety

Recent related difficulties/vent: I still have issues when things don't go according to plan or timing for things gets off. Right now I'm worried about interviewing and writing for my first story for our towns paper.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health: I am trying to let dishes in the sink and not have things perfect 100% of the time. I have my first appointment with my new therapist tomorrow and hope it goes better than the first one I had.

GTKY: Do you have anything coming up in spring or summer that you have to look forward to? We are doing a family road trip home to Pennsylvania from the end of June to the end of July. I haven't been home since Big P was 18 months old. I am so ready.

[penguin129]

I wanted to add. I took the girls to the park on Monday. We were the only ones there other than this older guy on the workout machines. I had to go to the bathroom and take both girls with me. All I could think about was the woman who got assaulted in the park bathroom not too long ago. I had high anxiety until we left the park after that. My anxiety comes out of nowhere sometimes. I wasn't expecting that at all.

[penguin129]

sanibel21 I wonder if you could go walk in a mall near you or even Wal-mart or Target until it gets warmer.

smallpotato I'm glad the new dose is helping you.

[fem]

sanibel21 I really need to exercise too. I keep saying that but am not making it a priority.

penguin129 I hope you have a good appointment tomorrow!

[fem]

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: Anxiety, specifically health anxiety.

Recent related difficulties/vent: Lack of sleep plus travel last week is not helping.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health: Not spiraling on statistics and negative info on Dr. Google. I'm trying to avoid triggers. The people sitting next to me at Panera are talking about putting somebody with cancer into hospice....

Going to start yoga this weekend.

GTKY: Do you have anything coming up in spring or summer that you have to look forward to? My in laws are coming for Easter, then seeing all our family that lives abroad this summer.

[penguin129]

fem have fun at yoga. It is a really good outlet for me. I hope it is for you too

[macaronmama]

sanibel21, glad that you are able to look at the good things. It's so hard to concentrate on those and not think that because some things are going badly, everything is. Hugs, and hope your girls are better soon.
smallpotato Hope sleep improves soon. Also currently going through the struggle of diminishing milk supply and trying not to blame myself. How's the new dosage helping?
penguin129, praying your new therapist is a good match for you, that is SO important! And kudos to giving yourself a break on perfection.

And fem I beg of you to put the Dr. Google away. I really feel for what you are going through right now. After my FIL passed away unexpectedly from Stage IV cancer (three weeks from diagnosis), I freaked out every time myself or DH felt ill or in pain for a longer than standard time. 5 weeks after is when my panic attacks started, I actually ended up calling an ambulance because I was so freaked by the first one I thought I was having a heart attack. I'm a bit better now but it's been two years of recovery.

I'm so glad you are seeing a therapist about it. Do what you have to to take care of yourself and your family and get that peace. If you have to take off, do it. When my kid cousin had a cancer scare and had to do chemo a year ago, I cried for three days because it was so triggering. It's gonna take awhile, but know you are a strong woman and momma and we got your back.

[macaronmama]

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: Generalized anxiety and PPD

Recent related difficulties/vent:
PPD has been under control for the most part thanks to Zoloft. But my anxiety has been sort of wishywashy. I had a panic attack the other night, but had no idea was triggered it because it was a good day. For me, that's more distressing because when I know the trigger and confront it, I find I recovered better.

DH has also been frustrating me a little. I really wish he'd seen someone about his anxiety, etc. I wish he'd take better care of himself. He's gets so upset and testy about things that are really his fault - not going to bed earlier, procrastinating at work, etc. It's so hard not to snap at him when he asks how I'm managing to do "everything" while sick. It takes a toll on my emotional health more than anything because I get angry.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health:
I'd like to go see my therapist just to check in with her. It's been since December. But I just can't make the time having to pick up M from daycare. It's 40 minutes to her place from work, 40 minutes from my home. I need to be with her an hour... I dunno. Maybe once we get a second car and DH can do evening pickups, I can get back to therapy...

GTKY: Do you have anything coming up in spring or summer that you have to look forward to?
Going up to the lake for 4th of July comes to mind. I really wanna pick cherries and take M out on the boat.

[fem]

Mar 31, 2017 8:44:08 GMT -5 macaronmama said:

*snip*
And fem I beg of you to put the Dr. Google away. I really feel for what you are going through right now. After my FIL passed away unexpectedly from Stage IV cancer (three weeks from diagnosis), I freaked out every time myself or DH felt ill or in pain for a longer than standard time. 5 weeks after is when my panic attacks started, I actually ended up calling an ambulance because I was so freaked by the first one I thought I was having a heart attack. I'm a bit better now but it's been two years of recovery.

I'm so glad you are seeing a therapist about it. Do what you have to to take care of yourself and your family and get that peace. If you have to take off, do it. When my kid cousin had a cancer scare and had to do chemo a year ago, I cried for three days because it was so triggering. It's gonna take awhile, but know you are a strong woman and momma and we got your back.

Thank you for this.  It's one of the things we focused on in therapy yesterday - is there anymore info for me to gain from the internet? No. So I have written down statements to look at when I want to reach for my phone. Also DH and I have started a no phone in the evening policy at home, and that helps too.  It is so easy to spiral.  I'm sorry you've been down this road also.

From your other post it sounds like maybe just being overwhelmed with sick plus life could have pushed you into a panic attack.  That's so hard when you don't know what caused it. I hope you can get back to your therapist soon.

[jillian]

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle:  PPD/PPA

Recent related difficulties/vent: Struggling to figure out why. I have everything I have ever wanted in my life, why do I feel like this?

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health: I would like to do yoga and work on physically improving myself. Those post-workout endorphins are like nothing else. I just don't have the motivation/drive to do anything when I get home after work.

GTKY: Do you have anything coming up in spring or summer that you have to look forward to? Our boat just got dropped off for a check up so I am very much looking forward to getting it in the water which means we get back to the beach house aka my happy place.

 

[iwantbacon]

Apologies that this is not in the proper format.

My biggest issue right now is my quickness to emotion--like getting frustrated in 5 seconds, getting sad quickly, etc. Plus inability to focus. Maybe more anxiety than depression? I don't feel like I'm having panic attacks, but am definitely not processing emotions like a "normal" person.

My concern is that I'm going to spend so much time thinking "You are ok, this is not SO bad" that I will all of a sudden cross the line and then have to work that much harder to feel better.

I may leave a message with the nurse at my OB to see if they can see me or if they will force me elsewhere since its been almost 6 months since delivering.

Man, what a rant--sorry guys!

[jillian]

Mar 31, 2017 8:54:54 GMT -5 macaronmama said:

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: Generalized anxiety and PPD

Recent related difficulties/vent:
PPD has been under control for the most part thanks to Zoloft. But my anxiety has been sort of wishywashy. I had a panic attack the other night, but had no idea was triggered it because it was a good day. For me, that's more distressing because when I know the trigger and confront it, I find I recovered better.

DH has also been frustrating me a little. I really wish he'd seen someone about his anxiety, etc. I wish he'd take better care of himself. He's gets so upset and testy about things that are really his fault - not going to bed earlier, procrastinating at work, etc. It's so hard not to snap at him when he asks how I'm managing to do "everything" while sick. It takes a toll on my emotional health more than anything because I get angry.

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health:
I'd like to go see my therapist just to check in with her. It's been since December. But I just can't make the time having to pick up M from daycare. It's 40 minutes to her place from work, 40 minutes from my home. I need to be with her an hour... I dunno. Maybe once we get a second car and DH can do evening pickups, I can get back to therapy...

GTKY: Do you have anything coming up in spring or summer that you have to look forward to?
Going up to the lake for 4th of July comes to mind. I really wanna pick cherries and take M out on the boat.

I feel like I could have written this statement myself. DH's anxiety is a trigger of mine. Not that I'm anxious for the reasons he is, but that I get anxious listening to him complain about his. My heart is racing right now just thinking about it.

[fem]

Mar 31, 2017 9:55:10 GMT -5 iwantbacon said:

Apologies that this is not in the proper format.

My biggest issue right now is my quickness to emotion--like getting frustrated in 5 seconds, getting sad quickly, etc. Plus inability to focus. Maybe more anxiety than depression? I don't feel like I'm having panic attacks, but am definitely not processing emotions like a "normal" person.

My concern is that I'm going to spend so much time thinking "You are ok, this is not SO bad" that I will all of a sudden cross the line and then have to work that much harder to feel better.

I may leave a message with the nurse at my OB to see if they can see me or if they will force me elsewhere since its been almost 6 months since delivering.

Man, what a rant--sorry guys!

My OB is seeing me Monday even though it's 6 months later.  Some OB's realize that they are the only doctor a woman sees.  My sister just saw hers for her yearly and she suggested doing baseline bloodwork to have on file since she's 35 (even though this is something a primary care doctor usually does).

[britta]

Thanks for the tag macaronmama! (I do eventually see them 😉)

Diagnosis/personal issue or struggle: PPD/PPA, history of GAD and depression

Recent related difficulties/vent: I said this when I checked in last week, but I'm feeling really good on the Celexa. Otherwise, lots of big life changes: going back to work FT, preparing to sell our house this spring/summer, the constant adjustments to life with an infant (you know, just when you think you've got a routine down, they change it up on you)

What you're working on/trying to do/would like to do to improve your recent difficulties/mental health: Taking my Celexa and being ok with that. My instructions were to take 10mg for 2 weeks and then up to 20mg. I'm glad I followed the instructions. While I felt decent on the 10, I was still having some breakthrough anxiety. On 20 I'm rock solid. I need to start working out again. I've allowed myself to slack because of going back to work and wanting to get that routine down, but now that it seems to be falling into place I need to figure out how to incorporate that.

GTKY: Do you have anything coming up in spring or summer that you have to look forward to? I'm really looking forward to selling our house and moving/building. It's going to be stressful, but I can't wait to be closer to work and not have to sort out childcare issues if we decide to start DS1 in Kindergarten in the fall of 2018. We have a vacation planned for our 5 year anniversary in June, I'm excited for that. And also realizing I need to actually plan that.

[penguin129]

britta How is the 20 mg of Celexa working for you? I wonder sometimes is I would feel better on that dose. I'm still taking 10 mg and have been since starting it in December. Maybe it is time. I don't have nonstop anxiety though and one day I'd like to come off the Celexa if possible. I know that time is a while away though.

[britta]

Apr 5, 2017 19:53:25 GMT -5 penguin129 said:

britta How is the 20 mg of Celexa working for you? I wonder sometimes is I would feel better on that dose. I'm still taking 10 mg and have been since starting it in December. Maybe it is time. I don't have nonstop anxiety though and one day I'd like to come off the Celexa if possible. I know that time is a while away though.

The 10mg was just ok for me. I had a lot of breakthrough anxiety, but felt mostly better. When I upped to the 20mg I felt hugely different. I rarely have anxiety and/or panic attacks anymore. I'm no doctor, but I'd give it a try if you're still having anxiety.

[macaronmama]

fem, hope you've been making some progress this past week. If you ever need some commiseration or someone to totally gets the loss-related hypochondria to vent or freak out to, just PM me!
jillian I got a lot of "but what is wrong?" from DH before he finally just got that PPD happens sometimes. So sorry you are dealing with DH's anxiety too. How early in the year do you guys typically get to the beach?
iwantbacon Didja call your OB? Hope they agree/d to see you.
britta So happy to hear the up'd dose of Celexa is helping. And glad to hear you are loving your job! Where are you going for your 5th anniversary?

[jillian]

Apr 6, 2017 8:23:05 GMT -5 macaronmama said:

fem , hope you've been making some progress this past week. If you ever need some commiseration or someone to totally gets the loss-related hypochondria to vent or freak out to, just PM me!
jillian I got a lot of "but what is wrong?" from DH before he finally just got that PPD happens sometimes. So sorry you are dealing with DH's anxiety too. How early in the year do you guys typically get to the beach?
iwantbacon Didja call your OB? Hope they agree/d to see you.
britta So happy to hear the up'd dose of Celexa is helping. And glad to hear you are loving your job! Where are you going for your 5th anniversary?

Fortunately next weekend hopefully. As long as the weather is decent and the boat is out of the shop.

[fem]

Thanks macaronmama, I'm still struggling but I think once these final biopsy results from the re-excisions are I'll feel better. I might take you up on that sometime!

[britta]

macaronmama there's a state park MH and I have camped at every year since we've been together (save for pregnant years). We love the little town, it's right on the lake, and there's a lot to do. I don't think we're going to camp this year, but we're going to rent a cottage. It'll be a Wednesday to Sunday thing.