Would You Bother?

[luvboston]

I would be livid and call her out and send a note to her boss.

[luvboston]

And I have to say Waldorf was great for my sister who has dyslexia and other lds.

[mrsbuttinski]

It depends on how much energy you wish to burn on this. But I would caution you that the moms I know who enjoy tilting at windmills aren't necessarily the best advocates with the best outcomes.

You do have to choose your battles. A parent only gets a limited number of opportunities in which they can go to bat before they become that mom. You have 3 kids- at least one of which is going to need substantial supports- is this a hill worth dying on? I mean, you aren't even in the building yet.

I have unloaded from time to time. YMMV, I never wasted bandwidth over philosophical matters that didn't impact my child. That said, the first time I hear a statement that offends me, I come up with a rehearsed statement for the next time it comes up. Rather than a scathing email that can be ignored as the rantings of a bitter mom with a "special kid", call her on it face-to-face the next time you hear it. I always like to start with the district's website and their mission statement when formulating my response.

Then when I hear something I don't want to hear, my prepared response can start with their quote about diversity and opportunities for all and ask how they plan to implement that in the context of "kids like him" or "her own kind". When it's a teacher, you can always talk about opening the IEP to include some professional development in the form of continuing education and itinerant support.

[luvboston]

@kitchen it's the schools duty to provide speech wherever the kid is including at home if necessary so that statement is absurd

[mirandah]

I would be annoyed. When we were touring schools I was given the same exact sentiment from teachers at the schools I was touring, but at the time, I was so new to the SN world that I didn't realize how inappropriate it was. I definitely felt a little butt-hurt over it though, and it smacked of something that wasn't quite right. When I met with my IEP team to talk about which school we were going to choose, I couldn't help but to mention it to them. Granted, I wasn't criticizing anyone on my team- I was merely reporting facts from my tours. They were upset, told me that what I had been told was inappropriate, and even asked me if I would be willing to report them to the district's SN director. I declined. I didn't want to start a district war prior to kindy. On the other hand- the issue came up again at a district SN meeting a year later. I had attended to speak to another issue (transportation, ugh), but the main topic of conversation was the messaging and steering schools were giving during tours. I was happy to speak up then and add my thoughts. So it all came full circle. I'm glad I didn't make a big deal about it then, but I'm also glad I could contribute to a larger discussion of the messages sent to SN families and school choice.

I struggle with "would you bother" almost daily. I've started attending the SN parent group at my school- and I avoid the wildly chaotic district SN groups- just to get a barometer on how I'm feeling about different things. There are a few experienced moms at our school who are very positive- they've all fought some uphill battles to get where they are, and so they have a good perspective on what's worth fighting about.

[mirandah]

Mar 31, 2017 9:37:41 GMT -5 @kitchen said:

Mar 31, 2017 9:24:18 GMT -5 luvboston said:

@kitchen it's the schools duty to provide speech wherever the kid is including at home if necessary so that statement is absurd

I literally was floored when she said it because it's so off base.  I just responded that special education is a service and not a location, so my understanding is that if she were there and her IEP said 3x a week the school district would have to find a way to make it happen. She looked less than pleased but didn't argue.  Just told me that's not practical financially. Mkay, lady. 

We were touring a school that had just one special education teacher for the whole school, and a SLP that came once a week. I was told DS would get, at most, 30 minutes of service time "a week". I was thoroughly confused, because I knew that federal law required DS have his services met, but I figured maybe they could insist that it be met at a particular school (in our district, one of the named ASD program sites, which is where we ended up). I remember saying to the special ed teacher there "well, why would I send my kid here if he could get so many more services at an ASD program site?" She smiled sympathetically and said "I know, right?"

Our district is in the throes of modifying this whole system. Right now the ASD program kids are steered into "program sites" which have a ton of SN resources. There are some SN parents really upset they can't attend one of the "community schools" in their own neighborhood. So, the district is decentralizing the program sites and spreading dollars around more to the community schools. This results in steerage of the Federal settings 2-4 into program site schools with all the resources, and the setting 1's into community schools with better, but not great, services. So of course parents are ticked about that too, and it has resulted in some classroom consolidations at the program sites.

[mrsbuttinski]

Mar 31, 2017 9:37:41 GMT -5 @kitchen said:

Mar 31, 2017 9:24:18 GMT -5 luvboston said:

@kitchen it's the schools duty to provide speech wherever the kid is including at home if necessary so that statement is absurd

I literally was floored when she said it because it's so off base.  I just responded that special education is a service and not a location, so my understanding is that if she were there and her IEP said 3x a week the school district would have to find a way to make it happen. She looked less than pleased but didn't argue.  Just told me that's not practical financially. Mkay, lady. 

I've have never seen this particular battle won locally.

Services here are provided by the County IU and are loosely aligned with school population- x number of kids beget y number of days from the SLP, OT or PT. We have a very popular elementary that limits class size to accommodate an antiquated septic sysptem; the building is not ADA/accessible so there are no self contained classrooms at the site. If a child needs more speech hours than can be offered in the half day the IU SLP is available, the child is turfed to a different school on the grounds that the neighborhood school is not the child's LRE based on the the child's needs for support and services. I know of a few parents who have sued around this and lost. I know a few parents who felt the neighborhood school was worth paying OOP for speech or tutors. 

I have a natural disinclination for charters. I find those who run them and those drawn to them like to pretend that they're indie schools rather than tax payer supported institutions. They seem to bring together the worst of public and private rather than the best. 

I wonder what that suggested donation is for? I know in some states, money funneled out of neighborhood public schools can not be used to maintain or improve the physical plant of the school. 

[mrsbuttinski]

Apr 1, 2017 9:39:20 GMT -5 @kitchen said:

Mar 31, 2017 12:57:21 GMT -5 mrsbuttinski said:

There are a two kids specifically I know of at that school who won that battle via due process (the parents told me, and that was confirmed by the SpEd director saying that's how we'd have to do it). 


Ugh. 

I have always shared those general thoughts about charters.  I was conflicted about even applying for her because of them, but felt like the fact that she would get two years of kinder automatically versus one year plus no computers in the classroom was worth putting that aside and giving them a chance.  It absolutely confirmed all my feelings.


Realistically, your DD is entitled to a FAPE with differentiated instruction until she's 22; it doesn't really matter if they call it Transitional Kindie/Kindie or Kindie/First so long as it meets her needs. 


I'm not a huge fan of computers in the classroom. Kids get more screen time than they need at home. Computers represent a special risk for neglect for students with special needs. DS's fancy pants private lab school had no computers until upper school. 

"You're required to attend a parent orientation meeting at 6:30pm on this specific weeknight with no childcare".  Oh, okay hi privilege, guess we had better get well acquainted because this is how it works.  


This is what's wrong with how we fund schools- in affluent communities parents are able to enrich the experience regardless of whether it's public, parochial, indie or charter. 

The suggested donation is just part of general operating costs for the school.  Families are also "encouraged" to meet certain fundraising targets and books, musical instruments and field trips are all extra.  I mean, how could one educate children on just the standard funding from the district?


This is a page out of an affluent school playbook- donations so I don't have to buy crap like wrapping paper, frozen meals and such. We have a district wide educational development foundation that pays for things like mountain bikes for the middle school gym, organic gardens, speakers series and author visits.