Funeral travel TW: family member death

[dramaphile]

So, my grandmother passed away over the weekend.  She was 89 and it was expected, as she has had dementia for a while and was starting to decline in the past month or so.  

I am thinking I want to fly back to San Diego for the funeral in a few weeks because I didn't go back for my Grandfather's funeral 5 years ago.  More than likely, I would go by myself, since it would be a short weekend trip out and it doesn't make sense, money-wise for both of us to go.  The thing is, I've never been away from Nugget overnight, and I'm not sure how I will feel about going home for something that will be emotionally taxing and also being away from her at the same time.  It wouldn't make sense to bring her with me, as cross-country flights are difficult with a toddler and two parents, let alone just me and her.  

Likely J would take Nugget to his parents' house for the weekend so he will have a support system.  I trust him completely with her, he is a SAHD and spends all day with her anyways.  Logically, she will be fine, and she'll adjust to not having me there for nighttime wakeups.  Maybe I'm more worried about myself and how I'll handle it?

I don't really know what I'm asking for, maybe someone who's done this?  Or reassurance that it will be fine and I'm preparing myself to be worried over nothing?  

[DGM]

No advice because I haven't ever been in your shoes but I'm so sorry for your loss.

[briarrose]

I am sorry for your loss.

I think I would definitely go if I were in your shoes. Especially since your DH is a SAHD to begin with and they already have a great relationship. I really think things will be fine, so just here for reassurance.

[brandiewine11]

Go. It will be fine. It's also properly better that she doesn't see you when you are feeling sad and emotional about your grandmother.

Being away from her may be tough but you will both make it through. You can also FaceTime or something to see her happy face while you are away.

I'm sorry for your loss :-(

[Crisco Salad]

I would go. I left J for the first time when he was about her age and it was fine. I did find FaceTime was not a good idea at that age, though. It just made him more upset.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[freezorburn]

So sorry for your loss.

[pbandj714]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[MapleMomma]

Apr 12, 2017 15:28:41 GMT -5 Crisco Salad said:

I would go. I left J for the first time when he was about her age and it was fine. I did find FaceTime was not a good idea at that age, though. It just made him more upset.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

This was our experience as well. It just made things harder for J.

I'm sorry for your loss. Definitely go for closure if you can

[dramaphile]

Apr 12, 2017 16:42:21 GMT -5 @charlotte said:

I'm very sorry for your loss.
I agree that you should go. Your LO will be just fine. It might be nice, emotionally, for you to go grieve your grandmother in-person and not have to take care of someone else's needs while you're doing so.
Take care of yourself.

Yeah I was definitely thinking about this as well, bringing her and having to take care of her while grieving would be really difficult.

[mc13]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[rainbowbridge14]

I am sorry for your loss.

I would go in this situation and they will be good. At the same time I get the reluctance to leave her since I am doing a solo plane trip with my 17 month old later this month. Since it's such a short time with likely a lot of events where having a small child would be tough I would say going alone makes more sense.