Working and parenting

[k3am]

buttercup, did your current boss ask you to find a new job because of your son's condition or because you're just not a good fit for the role?

What does your son's treatment plan mean for our availability in general? Will you be taking a leave of absence? Just need more flexibility?

Do you have an HR department you can get in touch with?

[mirandah]

Ick. Lots of legal considerations. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

Now that the cat's out of the bag, you may want to clarify with your coworkers and reiterate your commitment to your current schedule. It's not really fair to you, but if you don't, your coworkers may have preset assumptions- as you've already come to find out. Maybe they don't realize that your spouse is SAH who will be covering the majority of appointments (just an e.g.) Another example- recently a coworker of mine suffered a mild heart attack. He had a stent inserted and was back to work in two days! Everyone was shocked, and kept telling him to go home and rest. He refused. He wasn't in my department, but knowing my colleagues, they probably lightened his load a bit. He didn't like this and finally told everyone bluntly that he wanted to keep working because (a) he was physically able to and (b) because of the heart attack he was made to quit smoking. Being busy at work kept his mind occupied so he wasn't thinking about smoking. Once everyone knew that I think they understood and things returned to normal.

Good luck- and yes, if you are concerned that you are being discriminated against based on an assumption that you might take FMLA- you should report it to your manager or HR.

[k3am]

If your boss isn't checked into his role, I'm not sure how you're supposed to work with him. Especially if he's taking a leave of absence and not even there.

For the 3 hours a day you plan to WFH - will you have childcare? Devil's advocate, but those 3 hours may work out to be only 30-60 minutes of productive work if you don't, so be prepared with a response in the event they push back.

I think it's helpful to be proactive in terms of outlining and discussing what accommodation you may want/need, any effect it may have on the company or your ability to carry your typical workload. It sounds like everyone is just guessing and making assumptions, which is understandably leaving you feeling exposed.

[luvboston]

First I'm sorry your going through this it's horrendous. I would now wait and go straight to a different manager and HR and tell them what's going on at work and what your plan is at home. That way everyone is on the same page.

Also we have a bunch of acquaintances here that have small lo's with cancer and they were all admitted inpatient for 6 months for treatment. I obviously don't know what type of cancer your child has but I find it a bit odd that he will never have to go in for chemo. Also have you looked around to make sure this is the best place for treatment?

[k3am]

buttercup, then it sounds like you've got bases covered and your boss is just checked out.

Is your HR active/effective? Or your boss's boss if he's already on leave? I would probably send your next email and copy either HR or someone relevant on the business side of things. (And include a generic note as to the fact that you're doing it - not throwing him under the bus but making sure that all the relevant parties are aware, or something along those lines.

[Cnon]

Thoughts and Prayers to buttercup's family!