I need hair pats.

[Deleted]

Yesterday Ryan texted me telling me he really needed to talk to me and meet him in the middle of our office building. Long story short, his bosses (the CFO and Controller) pulled him into an office and told him that the guy who had Ryan's job previously (the job he got the promotion to a little over a month ago) was coming back. They blew a bunch of smoke up his ass, saying it had nothing to do with his job performance, that he was doing a great job. They are still going to have him continue to learn this job. Basically, that was their way of telling him that not only is this guy coming back, but he is getting his old job back. He had been calling them for a month asking to come back, the CFO and Controller kept telling him no. So this asshole then started calling the CEO, who he had a very good relationship with when he was here, even though he quit. He caved. The rest of Ryan's department, 2 people in particular, said they wanted this guy to come back (they had all been here for several years together), and the decision was made, without even consulting Ryan. It was done behind closed doors, behind his back. The guy comes back TUESDAY.

And yes, he left knowing that they were giving the position to Ryan. He barely trained him, but he sat with him and showed him certain things before he left.  

The guy has a lot of experience, I will give him that, but he sucked at his job. He was a jerk, and no one in my department even liked him. He messed up our budgets several times, and was rude and condescending. He used to talk to me like I was a 5 year old. When it was announced that Ryan was taking the position, many of my coworkers in my department were very excited. We have a new system and then a new young guy in that position, so it's like a fresh start. He already has a good rapport with the Project Teams. People like him. Ryan and I were excited because this meant AMAZING things for his career. He has worked so hard to get to this point, and this was huge for our family. He could see himself here long term. I could see myself here long term, especially with the big project I just got with my Project Manager, and how my immediate bosses (who I LOVE) have treated me. The CEO has been good to me, too. I like him. I respect him. But this, just feels like a gut punch. This is personal, this was my future, too and they ripped it away.

I am lost. I am at work literally unable to do anything and I have so much to do, I have to come in tomorrow morning for overtime, that's how busy I am, but I feel like I can't move. My husband is a mess, I have rarely seen him like this and it hurts to see him this way. We feel betrayed. I don't know how to move forward. I don't know how to put a smile on my face and act like everything is okay and that I even want to be here. I love my job, so feeling like this fucking sucks.

I'm lost.

[amch8]

That sucks so so much. You didn't specifically say: Is Ryan fired? Are they just demoting him? Is his pay going to change? I am not a lawyer (I just play one on TV), but all of this seems breach-of-contract-y?

Notwithstanding the rest of the stuff, I'm sorry. This is a huge disappointment and is a really dick move on behalf of your employer. I would also be miserable.

[catladymeow]

I am so sorry. This sounds like a really messed up situation. All of the hair pats and internet hugs.

[Deleted]

amch8 he is not fired, thank God. He got a raise when he got this opportunity, that isn't going to change, thankfully.

It seems like they are demoting him back to his old position. Like I said, they are blowing all sorts of smoke up his ass.

[amch8]

May 5, 2017 8:59:37 GMT -5 @katechristine18 said:

amch8 he is not fired, thank God. He got a raise when he got this opportunity, that isn't going to change, thankfully.

It seems like they are demoting him back to his old position. Like I said, they are blowing all sorts of smoke up his ass.

Yeah so I'm suuuuuper pessimistic always and I assume that the reason they're being so nice to him is that he might have cause for litigation???

[Deleted]

May 5, 2017 9:00:29 GMT -5 amch8 said:

May 5, 2017 8:59:37 GMT -5 @katechristine18 said:

amch8 he is not fired, thank God. He got a raise when he got this opportunity, that isn't going to change, thankfully.

It seems like they are demoting him back to his old position. Like I said, they are blowing all sorts of smoke up his ass.

Yeah so I'm suuuuuper pessimistic always and I assume that the reason they're being so nice to him is that he might have cause for litigation???

I think they know how fucked up this is. At least, the CFO and Controller do. The CFO fought tooth and nail to not let this happen, but was over ruled by the CEO.

I think they just expect Ryan to politely step aside.

The other part of this is that 2 of his coworkers were pulled into a room and asked if they wanted him to come back and they said yes, with no regard for Ryan.

[Deleted]

@wafflesfriendswork Nick is going to my Mom's tonight so we will have some time to decompress. They are basically telling him to step aside.

It's so fucked up.

[Deleted]

May 5, 2017 9:12:41 GMT -5 cornpop311 said:

@katechristine18 , between this and the Trump-iness of your office, I don't know how either of you can continue to work there! People are pretty frequently demoted in my company so I don't know if it's really something that could be illegal but if I were him (and you honestly) I'd seriously start to look elsewhere. I'm sorry you guys are going through this.

My immediate bosses and some close coworkers are what keeps me here, along with liking the job I do. I am proud of it.

I honestly don't know though if that is going to be enough moving forward. I feel like we just had the rug ripped out from under us.

[rachydc]

@katechristine18 , First of all, I'm sorry you're both going through this. I also want to step in here and say, from my POV and knowing the corporate world, things WILL be okay. He's not getting fired, he's keeping his raise, and likely will experience a minor title change IF that. Unless they've told you guys differently and you havent said that yet. It's not the end of the world. Your salaries and lives will stay the same but yeah, your trust is broken with the company now, and that sucks so badly. It's a big "WTF!?!" but thats the problem with these bigger companies. I absolutely wouldnt take it personal at all. When the higher ups say "Do this, now" it HAS to be done. The higher ups dont care about anyone, they have a job to do which leaves everyone belows hands tied and in an awkward position. Try and breathe and have your husband talk out with his immediate superior what will happen with his role going forward.

ETA: I just wanted to say that I'm not trying to make your feelings seem invalid. They are totally valid! I was just looking at it from another perspective. When shit hits the fan for me I try and spin it to see every side. "What is really going to change, for me and my family?" "What am I the most upset about?" "What can I do/how can I reason with these feelings?" and then try to work it from those angles as well. If that even makes sense. Sorry!

[Deleted]

rachydc I guess what I don't understand is, how can you give someone a promotion, then take it back, simply because this guy wants to come back? They are doing this out of convenience, we are in a new system that doesn't fully work yet, and when he announced he was leaving, people were sweating BIG time. He left at a crucial time in the company. So now, even though the software isn't fully working yet, at least they have his experience back. This was selfish, pure and simple in my eyes.

It's fucked up. He has tried talking to them about what the plan is, they literally don't have one. They just keep saying Ryan will still get to learn the job.

It's a mind fuck.

[yl]

THIS IS SOME FUCKING SHIT.

So he's still going to learn the job from the guy who hardly trained him and then stole his job back? He's going to learn the job from THAT GUY?

[Deleted]

This whole situation sounds insane and I'm sorry your family is in that position.  I have to join the chorus of "your workplace sounds toxic, and I would be looking for other employment."  I would also be looking for different employers - personally I would find it too risky to both be employed by the same employer.  I like to diversify my risk more.  Maybe it makes sense for Ryan to be looking somewhere first, given this clusterfuck.  

[rachydc]

May 5, 2017 9:43:51 GMT -5 @katechristine18 said:

rachydc I guess what I don't understand is, how can you give someone a promotion, then take it back, simply because this guy wants to come back? They are doing this out of convenience, we are in a new system that doesn't fully work yet, and when he announced he was leaving, people were sweating BIG time. He left at a crucial time in the company. So now, even though the software isn't fully working yet, at least they have his experience back. This was selfish, pure and simple in my eyes.

It's fucked up. He has tried talking to them about what the plan is, they literally don't have one. They just keep saying Ryan will still get to learn the job.

It's a mind fuck.

But they haven't taken back his raise, and officially havent taken back his title yet, right? So, that's a really good thing! He's basically just sharing the position now with this douchelord. If anything, this old douche should feel embarrassed for himself. He seriously groveled to get his job back. How pathetic.

Like you said before, the company fucked up and they know it, so it seems like they're trying to work it out with this loser coming back, on top of transitioning over into new software. Software transitions are SO time consuming and stressful, so it may not feel like they have Ryan's best interest at heart right now, but I'm confident it will get sorted out eventually. It sounds like you both are an asset and huge value to the company, and they realize that. Again, I really wouldnt try and take it personal even thought that's exactly what it feels like right now. Things will be fucked for awhile, but you're strong as hell and I know you're gunna be a rock for your husband!! 

ETA: I dont want it to sound like im defending your company. I'm not. I've just been through this a billion times with bigger companies (hence why I work in an office with 10 ppl now). I know you both love working together and overall enjoy your company (minus all the Trump freaks ) so I didnt want to echo others in telling you to look for a new job. Just wanted to clarify again since it seems like my posts are going against others, I'm not! Also, also, working with 10 people is still just as stressful, and if not, more mentally draining. Working sucks, lottery please!

[Deleted]

rachydc I think it would just add complete insult to injury to take his raise away, especially since he was due for his annual one anyway.

I hear what you're saying, and I appreciate your perspective and I love you to pieces! But they went about this the complete wrong way. HR was never involved, Ryan was never a part of this decision, never asked how he would even feel about it, and the plan moving forward has not been laid out in any real, formal manner.

This is thrown together, and this is not how companies keep good employees, in my opinion. It all feels very unprofessional to me. And it's just super fucking awkward. Lol. I hope the dust settles and things sort themselves out, but honestly, it feels like it's too late. I don't want to work for a company who takes opportunities away for no go good reason from their employees.

[Deleted]

May 5, 2017 9:49:32 GMT -5 yl said:

THIS IS SOME FUCKING SHIT.

So he's still going to learn the job from the guy who hardly trained him and then stole his job back? He's going to learn the job from THAT GUY?

Yep.

If that dude even tries to talk to me, he better look out. He knew Ryan had taken over the position. It's fucking slimy. I knew was a jerk, but this is a whole new level of jerk.

[rachydc]

May 5, 2017 10:01:38 GMT -5 @katechristine18 said:

rachydc I think it would just add complete insult to injury to take his raise away, especially since he was due for his annual one anyway.

I hear what you're saying, and I appreciate your perspective and I love you to pieces! But they went about this the complete wrong way. HR was never involved, Ryan was never a part of this decision, never asked how he would even feel about it, and the plan moving forward has not been laid out in any real, formal manner.

This is thrown together, and this is not how companies keep good employees, in my opinion. It all feels very unprofessional to me. And it's just super fucking awkward. Lol. I hope the dust settles and things sort themselves out, but honestly, it feels like it's too late. I don't want to work for a company who takes opportunities away for no go good reason from their employees.

I agree with you 100%! Hugs  

[Deleted]

May 5, 2017 10:04:11 GMT -5 @katechristine18 said:

May 5, 2017 9:49:32 GMT -5 yl said:

THIS IS SOME FUCKING SHIT.

So he's still going to learn the job from the guy who hardly trained him and then stole his job back? He's going to learn the job from THAT GUY?

Yep.

If that dude even tries to talk to me, he better look out. He knew Ryan had taken over the position. It's fucking slimy. I knew was a jerk, but this is a whole new level of jerk.

Not your lawyer, not legal advice, but I feel like the biggest wrongdoer here is that guy, who intentionally interfered with Ry's employment relationship.  

He's an asshole.  They should also not be giving him Ryan's job.  If they want to rehire him, make up a new position.

I had one summer of HR experience and could be doing this job better.  

[Deleted]

May 5, 2017 10:10:20 GMT -5 @officedronette said:

May 5, 2017 10:04:11 GMT -5 @katechristine18 said:

Yep.

If that dude even tries to talk to me, he better look out. He knew Ryan had taken over the position. It's fucking slimy. I knew was a jerk, but this is a whole new level of jerk.

Not your lawyer, not legal advice, but I feel like the biggest wrongdoer here is that guy, who intentionally interfered with Ry's employment relationship.  

He's an asshole.  They should also not be giving him Ryan's job.  If they want to rehire him, make up a new position.

I had one summer of HR experience and could be doing this job better.  

LOL, yep.

[kristhegirl]

May 5, 2017 10:10:20 GMT -5 @officedronette said:

May 5, 2017 10:04:11 GMT -5 @katechristine18 said:

Yep.

If that dude even tries to talk to me, he better look out. He knew Ryan had taken over the position. It's fucking slimy. I knew was a jerk, but this is a whole new level of jerk.

Not your lawyer, not legal advice, but I feel like the biggest wrongdoer here is that guy, who intentionally interfered with Ry's employment relationship.  

He's an asshole.  They should also not be giving him Ryan's job.  If they want to rehire him, make up a new position.

I had one summer of HR experience and could be doing this job better.  

You have a brain located outside of your posterior, of COURSE you could do a better job than this!

[kristhegirl]

This whole thing is bonkers. My takeaway: the CEO is not a good employer. Ryan gets to wallow today, but then he needs to stand up and be vocal. Use the weekend to list every single question he needs to ask his supervisors, and get mad. Mad is much more productive energy than sad. So this guy is coming back - fuck that guy. What's in this new twist for Ryan? I'd be angling for a new position/title/whatever. Make it up while making the list of questions and go get it.

[rach]

I would angle for a different title out of this. Make it one that looks good on paper so he can use it to GTFO. I would be super wary of having dual incomes from the same employer and this, after the Trump stuff, would be the icing on top. Once he finds a new position, you could more fairly evaluate if you want to stay.

I'm so sorry you are in this position!

[Deleted]

Thank you everyone. I sincerely love you all.

I am very much leaning towards making an exit. The way this was handled has left a very bad taste in my mouth.

Ryan met with the CEO a little bit ago and made it clear he was unhappy, and did not feel it was at all fair to share the position or give it up to the ass...ahem, guy, when he returns. He said he felt like he worked hard and earned the position and has not done anything to lose it, and that this opportunity is just being taken away from him for no reason. And that's the thing, he's been doing an awesome job. I am not saying that because I am bias. He has been going above and beyond to support the Project Teams in the software transition, which hasn't been going smoothly. Without Ryan going the extra mile, we would not have been able to function in certain areas.

CEO was receptive to this and said he understood, and mainly wanted to bring said asshole back because they still need help in accounting, and that the job is still Ryan's. He said he didn't want to hold him back if he still wants to do the job. Obviously Ryan said he wants to, but it's like why the fuck should he even HAVE to say that?!?! Jesus. Ryan expressed that this was handled so poorly, with no HR involvement, and lack of a clear direction when this was presented to him. He was left out of the equation entirely.

I told Ryan that my advice at this point is to protect himself. Demand that he gets something in writing, that outlines his position and pay, and all parties should sign it with HR present. This should be done before Tuesday when fuckface shit gibbon comes back.

I personally don't think it's too much to ask, and at least then he has protection, no matter what he decides to do moving forward.

But as for me, I am just so turned off at how they jerked him around. I think this was avoidable and unnecessary, and honestly, just really cruel. Seeing my husband go through this is pure hell. Basically, I think I know what I need to do, and that is to protect myself as well.

[ncjulia12]

I don't have anything else to add, except to agree that the whole situation is shitty and that I would be looking for exits for both of you.

And also lots of hugs.

[lovemyirishtwins]

@katechristine18 I am so sorry that is terrible and so difficult. I had some drinks so forgive me if I have spelling errors (this is actually not probably different than my norm).

Anyway, i feel like I can empathize with you. My H got his dream job working for a hockey team in 2012/13 season. He loved it. The person that was previously there left the position to work for the WNBA and hated it. They wanted their job and took it from dh in a similar way. It was devastating to him.

I only mention all of this to tell you we have been there and it sucks. I know how proud you were of your h for the promotion. From my experience with my h through this I really tried to listen to his frustrations and try to focus on the fact that it had nothing to do with him. And in this case I would do the same. Try to support him and love him. It is hard to see your spouse hurting. So many hugs to you. This makes my heart hurt for you.

[EmMilAlly]

I'm so sorry. I don't have any advice, but all the hugs and hair pats. I hope you can enjoy the weekend with N and forget about things for a little while.

[wells2010]

Hmm if his pay were to decrease I'd get an attorney. Either way, that's poor business practice and I'd start looking for a new job- and I would also demand a good reference from the current employer. You can't mess with people like that.

I'm also a little sour at their political rallies, so I won't say that's not influencing my response here.