Rough loss day
Feb 18, 2015 15:58:13 GMT -5
Post by cabgirl on Feb 18, 2015 15:58:13 GMT -5
My loss is brand new still, so I can't speak to some of this, but I will say that there's never a time window with grief of any kind. In my experience with other types of loss, I usually have a chunk of time early on where a type of numbness sets in - I'm still sad, but there's a distance between me and my grief. Later that numbness shatters, and I experience the pain full-on again. Those periods of numbness, or relative numbness, or okay-ness where grief is present but not actively consuming me, come and go. And in between those times, there are periods of horrible grief and mourning. I've actually had little bits of that in the 24 hours since learning of my loss - a numb, calm hour or two followed by pain and sobbing. I imagine that as time goes on, the periods of feeling okay will get longer, and the grief attacks fewer and farther between.
Anyway, my point is, I think grief often works this way to save us from the agony of loss being constant and unrelenting. We need those numb, distant or okay-ish periods to give us rest from the hurting. So maybe that is making you feel like your grief is lasting too long, but really - it isn't. If we had to feel it all at once, without rest, we would fall apart completely. So don't feel bad at all about however long you need to feel these times of intense grief. I think it's normal and healthy.
Sorry for the novel. TL;DR - however long it takes to heal, don't feel bad. And I'm so sorry you're having such a hard day.
Anyway, my point is, I think grief often works this way to save us from the agony of loss being constant and unrelenting. We need those numb, distant or okay-ish periods to give us rest from the hurting. So maybe that is making you feel like your grief is lasting too long, but really - it isn't. If we had to feel it all at once, without rest, we would fall apart completely. So don't feel bad at all about however long you need to feel these times of intense grief. I think it's normal and healthy.
Sorry for the novel. TL;DR - however long it takes to heal, don't feel bad. And I'm so sorry you're having such a hard day.
