Milestones & an anxious mama

[twofold]

My twins were born at 30w,1d. They've done exceptional with growth but I'm really worried that they are behind in their development for their adjusted age!

I know all babes are different, but I just don't even know what to look for. Their ped said they seemed fine, but I still worry...

They are 10.5m actual, 8m adjusted.

Both have been sitting up since 4-5m adjusted BUT DD just started rolling around like crazy and is slowly working on getting up onto her knees to crawl. DS has rolled over but much rather sit around and babble so he only rolls like once every month. I can still leave him on the ground and know he will not go anywhere. He'll roll to his sides to grab toys, but that's it. There are 6 month olds that are far more active than him...   Both prefer to sit and play quietly or stand up assisted.

Their fine motor skills (grasps, etc) are right on track for their actual age.

I guess I'm just wondering at what point do we look at getting evaluated? I'm so tired of getting emails about "baby milestones" (for adjusted age) saying they should be expert crawlers and starting to say mama and dada. It's making me feel like we're REALLY behind. 

My instincts say I should unsubscribe but I also don't want to be that mom that didn't see the signs either? 

Please make me feel better!!

[jense927]

Please don't stress about it! I know where you are coming from as my DS has been "behind". At 10.5 actual he wasn't even sitting unsupported yet. He was belly crawling but not on hands and knees. He just started crawling on hands and knees at 14 months actual. We have had him evaluated and no one is worried. As long as you see progress (even if it is slow) that is truly what matters. Babies do things at their own pace preemie or otherwise.

[twofold]

Thank you!! I know I'm being silly. I expected delays for sure and only go off adjusted ages when looking for milestones but it's still hard.

They are/will be my only babies so I'm trying to enjoy it rather than stress out but I'm so frustrated and tired of hearing people say "oh they don't crawl yet?"

I appreciate the responses, you've all made me feel a ton better!

[jense927]

twofold, I don't think you are being silly at all! I am not sure why there is so much pressure for babies to reach particular milestones at a certain time when the range for them is so large. I mean take walking for example...the range is 9-18 months. Yet if babies aren't walking by 12 everyone is all concerned and then that baby gets labeled as "behind" when in fact that just isn't true. Hang in there! I know it can be hard to enjoy when you are always worried.

[twofold]

Thank you jense927,

I have a nephew whose 6 weeks older (and full term) so there are tons of comparisons which sucks too.

I know in a year or two none of it will even matter since the age ranges get even wider at that point too!

[kels09]

One of the hardest things for me to learn as a preemie/twin mom was not to compare my kids. E is right on time for his age group but L isn't. L is a little behind in his communication skills and sees a teacher and a therapist once a week.

We had our boys evaluated at 6 months adjusted through Early Intervention Learning. It was part of the services offered to us through our insurance. They have been wonderful in helping us learn what to focus on and how to work toward specific goals for L. If you have an EI program in your area I would recommend it even if it's just for peace of mind.