Open letter Wednesday

[ovenrack]

Open letter Wednesday! Got something to say to your dad, your postal carrier, your coworker, your boss, your kid's teacher, your local elected official?

Put it here as a way to vent. Then if it's legit, you can copy and paste it into an email* to them!

*print the text and place in envelope for your mail carrier 😉

[TJ]

Dearest Karma,

Whatever I did, I'm sorry. Please cut me some slack. In one week since I got home from Vegas, I have been sick, gotten in a car accident, dislocated my hip, had a family situation with my inlaws, gotten a YI, and am now home with 2 sick kiddos. And my washing machine is leaking.

Had I won big in Vegas, I would call us even. But I didn't. Please let things turn around soon.

Begging for mercy,
TJ

[rugger]

Oh no TJ!! You deserve a break for sure!

[piccyami]

Oh, no TJ! I hope things turn around for you soon.

[piccyami]

Dear Lucy,
I have no idea where you found the mud, but please stop playing in it. I don't have time to carry you upstairs and hose you off every morning. And please don't teach Duet. I don't need to hose off two dogs.

Thanks,
Your frustrated dog mom

[MapleMe]

Hey AF, I need you to show up. You've been acting like you're going to show up for 2-3 weeks now, the symptoms of which are close to pregnancy. The chance would be so remote (first egg, last sperm) that I don't even want to spend the money on a test. But a little AF visit would calm the nerves.

Much Thanks,
Maple

[rugger]

May 10, 2017 10:50:32 GMT -5 MapleMe said:

Hey AF, I need you to show up. You've been acting like you're going to show up for 2-3 weeks now, the symptoms of which are close to pregnancy. The chance would be so remote (first egg, last sperm) that I don't even want to spend the money on a test. But a little AF visit would calm the nerves.

Much Thanks,
Maple

Oh man, that's nerve wracking. Hoping I don't have to deal with that this month as we had similar timing last week (5 days from expected O-day)

[brandiewine11]

Dear guy named Mike who keeps calling me,

I am sure you are calling to sell me something for one of my customers, but if you don't introduce yourself and tell me your business, I'm never going to call you back. Your name, number, and location is not gonna do it. I don't know you.

You need sales training 101 apparently.

[brandiewine11]

Dear son, your morning meltdown was caused because you were tired. If you'd lie still in your bed for 3 minutes, you would fall asleep. Rolling around and playing for over an hour is not helping anyone. It's going to be a miserable afternoon. Please go to sleep.

Love,

Your very tired mom

[Stringy]

Dear M,

You are FOUR fucking years old. I'm done changing your diaper. You'd better get on board with practicing because I'm not buying any more.

Your mother, the broken record.

[critter015]

Dear Children,

I know we all spent some time away from each other last week, but that is no excuse to be holy terrors. Please try to control yourselves. I am tired of yelling and cleaning up giant messes.

Thanks,
Mom

[Stringy]

Dear P -

Thanks for sleeping for 5 hours in a row last night. Its the most sleep I've had in about 18 months.

I can almost see straight today,

Mom

[rugger]

Dear Uterus,

Stop aching for a squishy baby. That is not in the plan this coming year.

Love,
Me

[MapleMe]

Dear Exhaust Hood, Kettles and piston filler,

Please oh please oh please oh please all function as expected for hot sauce production tomorrow.

Love,
The baker that needs money

[dramaphile]

May 10, 2017 13:38:05 GMT -5 rugger said:

Dear Uterus,

Stop aching for a squishy baby. That is not in the plan this coming year.

Love,
Me

I'm so with you. I was looking at photos from when Nugget was a newborn trying to find a specific one, and I definitely had the feels. But then I'm really in no hurry to get pregnant again....

[ovenrack]

Dear A,

I know you've come home from work early to work on the chicken coop a few times in the last few weeks.

It sounds nice when you say it, but really it's awful because you gets SO annoyed by the kids being underfoot and by your own lack of carpentry skills.

It's better if I keep the kids out of the house/yard.... but... it's 5:30pm and I don't want to have to stay away from home when I should be cooking dinner.

I keep joking that this chicken coop may ruin our marriage but. Like. Really.

Cluck cluck,

OR