Malicious coworker

[somebabiesmom]

I have a coworker who takes every opportunity to make me look bad and she got me yesterday. She has a reputation that my old boss was aware of, but I still had to justify everything. His advice was, essentially, more smiley faces. My new boss, however, took the bait yesterday.

On Tuesday after the long weekend, I requested a vacation day on Friday that I indicated I was going to spread out b/t Tuesday and Friday. I sent him an email as such and indicated I didn't exactly have the details worked out b/c I had a lot of work on Tuesday and wasn't sure when I'd be able to take off. He was totally cool with that.

I didn't get out particularly early on Tuesday and didn't want to come in for just an hour or so on Friday, and was a bit sleep-deprived on Wed morning - so I took advantage of my vacation time and came in about 3 hours late - which was about 7:45. I see my evil coworker and assume she saw me, b/c she always makes a point of not talking to me.

I get an email at 8 from my boss saying that EC was looking for me and was I out today? I let him know that I saw her and would follow up. I didn't even address coming in late, b/c - well - I had vacation time, he's always been supportive of flexing our schedules, and I'm salary. He stops by, asks where I was, and wonders if my 4:30 to 12:30 schedule is working for me...?!? I blustered out a defensive, BS response instead of what I said above (something about having a lot going on personally which is why I took the vacation time and just being up late the night before dealing with tax and medical issues...idk). Things definitely ended on a bad note.

Should I address this with him further to clear the air? For financial DC-is-too-expensive reasons, I can't risk losing my 4:30-12:30 schedule. Or does approaching him again make a bigger deal out of it than what it is? I feel reasonably justified in what I did, but b/c things went down the way they did - I look skeevy. I realize that had I sent an email to boss that I was going to be in late, I would not look skeevy; but I have always been quite meticulous about contacting him with all of my timeout/flexing. So why did things end on such a bad note? And why didn't I just get an innocuous "Just make sure you send me an email next time"?

Edited b/c this is clearly not about my coworker...but I left it in b/c it feels good to vent. 

[RiseAndWine]

Ugh that's a tough situation sorry you're dealing with it. Do you meet regularly with your boss? If so I would just clear the air there. If not, I would let it go and just work to up your game or stay on your A-game as it sounds like you're not really dropping the ball anyway.
And I would tell your coworker to F off. Or at least give her busy/free access to your calendar so she can see when you're available. Everyone in my office has that and it is really helpful.
I will just note that I try to be diligent about notifying my office manager when I'm even a few minutes late. And I hate when my staff doesn't communicate with me for stuff like that. My boss is high up and doesn't have time to care where I am so she leaves it to the office manager. Just take it as lesson learned that even if you give a heads up about flex time or whatever that you remind your boss and also tell the other necessary people so it doesn't happen again.

[somebabiesmom]

I don't meet with him. I'd have to make a special trip. I am going to be sending an email, though, with what my hours will end up being on Friday, so maybe I can make a quick side comment there? Or should I skip the email and just let him know in person...? And do I mention my justifications or just apologize for not sending him an email?

For full disclosure: this did happen once before (early Jan). Same sitch. EC stops by, I'm not here, no email to boss. I was out unexpectedly b/c DH's vasectomy was the day before and he woke up feeling too sore to get around with the kids and lift them in and out of the car for DC. Things got chaotic and there's always ambiguity about whether people care where you're at b/c of the type of work I do - so I waited to send an email until I got to work. It wasn't a big deal. FWIW - the EC has only stopped by on those two occasions in the last 6 mos. If nothing else, I see that I have tighten up my game b/c I have my own personal hall monitor.

[jlaok]

I would speak to him in person and apologize for not sending an email Wednesday morning saying that you'd be late and make sure that he knows that you were using the vacation time that was already approved. In the future I'd just make sure to email him ahead of time that way you can C.Y.A.

[2chatter]

My work doesn't care about apologies much - they prefer proactive resolution proposal. So where I am I would send in the hours summary and note "Going forward, any deviation from the 4:30 - 12:30 schedule will be communicated in email in advance, inclusive of vacation time use." Then I would follow through.

[mustardseed2007]

Feb 19, 2015 10:04:29 GMT -5 2chatter said:

My work doesn't care about apologies much - they prefer proactive resolution proposal. So where I am I would send in the hours summary and note "Going forward, any deviation from the 4:30 - 12:30 schedule will be communicated in email in advance, inclusive of vacation time use." Then I would follow through.

This would go over better in my work place also. I have a few reports and I really can't stand it when they apologize most of the time, but I would appreciate an email that summarizes my hours (maybe even a summary of how you accounted for your time on Wednesday). I understand that sometimes you feel like you need to, and I have even done it to my own bosses on occasion, but for this situation I would much prefer the above.

 

[20thirteen]

If I ever speak to my boss in person, I usually also send a follow-up email just to cover my butt. You know, in case something happens and she says that we never talked about it, I can pull up the email and say "yes, we did."

I also have a shitty co-worker that goes out of her way to make me look bad, and a majority of management knows her reputation of being a spoiled, prissy know-it-all who points out everyone else's mistakes but does not own up to her own mistakes. A couple of times she tried to throw me under the bus but that didn't work. I have all the emails to prove that none of the mistakes were me.

[somebabiesmom]

I drafted an email and it didn't seem appropriate to make excuses or apologize as I was detailing my use of vacation, so...

(Before I post the email - just a thanks for helping. For some reason, I really stumble with these little things.)

...here's the email:

I plan on being here from 6:15 to 10:30 tomorrow. I didn’t end up leaving very early on Tuesday (an hour) and used 3.25 hrs on Wed. I don’t plan on setting up a back-up for the 2 hour window from 10:30-12:30, but is that ok with you?

[2chatter]

Honestly, I hate emails like that from my directs.
I want things to be plug and play and don't want to think about it. I don't want to do math or try to match hours to days.

I am taking 8 hours vacation this week.
I departed 1 hour early on Tuesday.
I arrived 3.25 late on Wednesday.
I will leave 3 hours early on Friday.

In future I will email all deviations from the standard schedule/vacation time use in advance.

[frozenpeas]

+1 to 2chatter 's approach, although my personal style with my manager & my directs' with me would move the last paragraph to the beginning and have it say something like:

"I apologize for not sending you my exact schedule in advance - I'll make sure to do so going forward. Please let me know if you have any concerns about the below."

I think the wording depends on the kind of relationship you have.

Edited to add: The apology is not for using the vacation time, but for not spelling it out/clearing it ahead of time, since it seems like your boss had some desire to nail down your planned hours. Maybe it isn't the case everywhere, but that's been the expectation everywhere I've worked.

[somebabiesmom]

Mine is an environment where smiley faces are expected and encouraged. If I sent an email like that, it would be like I went to his office and opened fire. BUT the need for greater precision is duly noted.

[alioop1028]

First, a serious middle finger to your co-worker. I hate unnecessary drama in the office. Said co-worker needs to get a life.

And I agree with 2chatter and frozenpeas, approach but you can totally smiley it up. Add the apology first for causing any inconvenience but emphasize you using your vacation time and how you will notify him in the future.

[mommyatty]

I would add a thank you in there. "I really appreciate you giving me the flexibility to split the 8 hours of vacation time over a couple of days. That has helped me out tremendously. Here's how I split it: (fill in)." And frankly I would neither apologize nor give a "going forward". I think it's perfectly fine for my employees to have max flexibility in how to use their vacation time, so long as they are within company policy. I don't think you did anything wrong.

[xctsclrx]

How do people like your co worker keep their jobs? In most places I have worked if we have a person who causes problems management has always been on top if it and will get rid of them. Throwing people under a bus is a pet peeve of mine. It might be the military background in me but I believe in looking out for coworkers/teammates not trying to sabotage them. Makes me angry for you.

[frozenpeas]

Feb 19, 2015 13:47:55 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

I would add a thank you in there. "I really appreciate you giving me the flexibility to split the 8 hours of vacation time over a couple of days. That has helped me out tremendously. Here's how I split it: (fill in)." And frankly I would neither apologize nor give a "going forward". I think it's perfectly fine for my employees to have max flexibility in how to use their vacation time, so long as they are within company policy. I don't think you did anything wrong.

Really? I'm honestly just curious since I seem to be in the minority. Company policy states vacation needs to be approved ahead of time, but I would be fine with a request like this (spreading a vacation day between Tues & Fri, details tbd). But then when the employee doesn't show up Wednesday morning, that's a different story. If I'm her boss, 3 hours into the day with no contact I'm wondering if she is going to show up at all or if I need to find someone else to cover her work. If someone on my team did this, I'd want her to acknowledge that this was a one-time occurrence so I know I don't have to worry about her doing it again. Otherwise I'd have to have a talk with her about better communication, at minimum.

But, in my department, if one of the team members isn't there, that means someone else has to cover for him/her or at least babysit their deals to make sure nothing blows up. Maybe I just feel this way because of the nature of my job (?).

[RiseAndWine]

I agree frozenpeas. Apology/no apology, thanks/no thanks - it doesn't matter. To me the issue was not giving a specific heads up ahead of time about your schedule. If your boss didn't care he wouldn't have said anything to you about it. So obviously he wants more accounting for your time. Don't go overboard about it, just say hey in the future I will definitely give you a heads up when I'm altering my schedule. And stick to it.

[somebabiesmom]

I agree with you two are right, but I think that has led me to overshare my schedule with my boss. Schedules are incredibly relaxed around here. No one asks for permission for time-off - you just notify your boss. You only notify co-workers if you're going to be gone longer than 4 hours. And you only find a back up if you'll be gone the whole day (or have something specific addressed while you're out).

With my old boss, I knew he would rather not be bothered, so I just ducked out and came back as necessary. With this boss, I started off immediately with some very crazy issues when he started. The kids and I were vomiting sick for 2 weeks followed by H in hospital, then bedridden, then two deaths, and a plethora of other crap. We also just started a new system that monitors out time out and now we have to submit a request in order for the time to register - but still - it is not a permission issue.

Anyhoo - it's still just about notifying my boss when I will be late. I should have. EC got me the two times that I haven't. I think I just need to maintain a regular schedule for awhile since my boss is obviously sick of me.

[frozenpeas]

somebabiesmom - aha! I get it now. Your work environment is different than mine.

Yeah, it sucks that you have to change your approach b/c EC put a target on your back. I think you're on the right track now, though, that you need to let your boss know ahead of time, at least until you build the same rapport/level of trust with this one as the old one. Make EC look foolish the next time she approaches him about something you've already cleared with him. He'll soon tire of dealing with her & be more inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully, things will then get back to normal soon.

Sorry you're dealing with this unnecessary drama - EC needs to find better things to focus on.

[mommyatty]

frozenpeas Yeah. If my employee said, "I'm taking time off over two days," that would be enough for me so long as I trusted the employee. I only have one whom I question about time off. The others, if I was asked, I would just say, "He/She is taking time off over the next couple of days." But we don't have positions where regular coverage is necessary. And we are in a company where you don't request vacation, you just tell your boss you won't be there. We all track our own time on the honor system.

In fact, I have one employee who will constantly tell me stuff like, "I'm taking a long lunch" or "I need to leave an hour early to pick up my daughter" and it annoys the crap out of me. He's a hard worker. He's salaried. He does a great job. I don't pay him extra for nights like last night when our plane landed at 7:00, so I'm certainly not going to bitch if he takes off an hour early or takes a long lunch.

[sassypantzz]

I am personally just a huge proponent of communication. I definitely let my boss know of a delayed arrival or an early leave not as a requirement, but as a courtesy. somebabiesmom I would just shoot any one of the above emails and let him know moving forward you will be sure to give him a heads up.