Post by somethingcleverer on Feb 20, 2015 14:20:34 GMT -5
So my 5 year old food allergic child is invited to his first non-family/close friend birthday party. I'm terrified! He is really good about only eating foods he knows are safe but at a party with lots of treats I worry about him not caring as much. Has anyone else been in this situation? Advice? I really want him to go but I don't know the birthday boys family except for a quick preschool drop off. I talked to the dad today and he's going to call me and let me know what's on the menu.
Post by Starbuck128 on Feb 20, 2015 20:56:04 GMT -5
At the risk of being that helicopter mom, I would probably explain the situation to the hosts, that your child has life threatening food allergies and is still learning to navigate social situations on his own, and that you would like to come help chaparone the party just in case. That is what I would do. I don't have a 5 year old yet, but when I was 5, I still would give an adult the benefit of the doubt that a goodie was safe if I really, really wanted to eat it. It wasn't until 2nd grade birthday parties that I really became responsible enough to follow my instincts about whether a food was safe or not, no matter what an adult said. Good luck!
At the risk of being that helicopter mom, I would probably explain the situation to the hosts, that your child has life threatening food allergies and is still learning to navigate social situations on his own, and that you would like to come help chaparone the party just in case. That is what I would do. I don't have a 5 year old yet, but when I was 5, I still would give an adult the benefit of the doubt that a goodie was safe if I really, really wanted to eat it. It wasn't until 2nd grade birthday parties that I really became responsible enough to follow my instincts about whether a food was safe or not, no matter what an adult said. Good luck!
Thanks for your input! I'm not sure what we are doing yet, but you've given me more to think about!
Post by macchiatto on Feb 22, 2015 22:07:37 GMT -5
Are drop-off parties common where you live for that age? In our circles, the majority of parents stay with the kids through age 5; at 6 it's more of a mix. I would definitely stay with my food-allergic 5-year-old at a party. (I have 6-year-old twins who both have food allergies.)
I agree with macchiatto - at 5, it's common for parents to stay. And I would in your situation. DS has been to a LOT of parties and we always bring food for him. I did finally, last year, do a drop off (including food) and it went fine. He's a great advocate for himself and there were no issues.
And really, that's the other side- don't worry about sending food with your child! I always send a cupcake and a couple slices of pizza (I will ask what they are serving, though, so that if it's not pizza, I can send something similar to whatever they are serving).
Also, work with your DS on being a better advocate. if you're concerned that in the moment, he'll forget, work on that.
What are his allergies and what will happen? I think one of the reasons DS is a good advocate is that when he was 4, he was "glutened" by accident. This wasn't the first time, but at this age, I think he was finally old enough to get it and to understand what happens to him when he eats something he shouldn't. So now he's more diligent about making sure food is safe.
Post by somethingcleverer on Feb 24, 2015 14:56:35 GMT -5
He is allergic to eggs wheat and nuts. His reactions are unpredictable I guess. He was exposed to egg and had a severe reaction but that was a few years ago. He's only tested positive to peanuts but his numbers are so high I assume he is Ana. I think our plan is to get a sitter for our two year old and h is going with at least until we are sure we feel comfortable leaving him. Unfortunately I work this weekend. I will send food and a cupcake and h can train them on the epi pen.
He is allergic to eggs wheat and nuts. His reactions are unpredictable I guess. He was exposed to egg and had a severe reaction but that was a few years ago. He's only tested positive to peanuts but his numbers are so high I assume he is Ana. I think our plan is to get a sitter for our two year old and h is going with at least until we are sure we feel comfortable leaving him. Unfortunately I work this weekend. I will send food and a cupcake and h can train them on the epi pen.
I think sending food and a cupcake is a great idea. Personally, I would just plan on your H staying rather than training the hosts on the epi pen though. If he were older where he'd get embarrassed by you staying, or if it were a play date rather than a party, I think that would be appropriate. But since he's only 5 and the parents will be busy hosting a party, I think they might have a hard time trying also to make sure he doesn't accidentally eat anything he shouldn't or watching him carefully enough to catch early signs of an allergic reaction before it gets bad. I guess it depends on the parents though; we've found that some are great with it but when people aren't used to dealing with food allergies, it's easy to have "slips," especially if they're distracted by their own kid(s) and party hosting.
Post by somethingcleverer on Feb 25, 2015 18:57:15 GMT -5
I've also learned that DS is terrified about making his food decisions. He's never been in this situation before so I talked to him about not eating the food but I'll send your food, which I have done for play dates, but he is really having anxiety about this. I guess I need to figure out how to build his confidence about his allergies because he is very good about eating foods he knows are safe. My poor boy! So H will definitely stay. Thanks for all the great advice ladies, I really appreciate all of your thoughtful answers.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.